Are there cats in heaven ?

Captain Oates · December 9, 2011

The Muslims say there are only Muslims there

The Christians say that only people who have accepted Jesus Christ as their savior can enter

That would seem to preclude cats

What about cat lovers ?

Are they to go through eternity without the one thing that made them happy and complete on earth ?

Will they never meet their former cats again ?

ps motorbikes in heaven ? If so then a biker could ride his bike for eternity and never get killed. If not, what is a biker without a bike other than a bikeless biker ?

I don't think these christians have though it through - be careful what you wish for you cat loving bikers

Tim/Mav · December 9, 2011

##### Cats and Motorcycles go together.

It don't need to be a Musliam on the back of that Chopper.

Captain Oates · December 9, 2011

##### Cats and Motorcycles go together.

It don't need to be a Musliam on the back of that Chopper.

I claim the prize - you are in fact Alec Baldwin and you are unmasked !

Tim/Mav · December 9, 2011

What Prize ? You got bored and wrote a silly Post and I laughed with you. Well, If I got a Prize for every silly post I wrote. My Living Room would be Full.... LOL

Captain Oates · December 9, 2011

What Prize ? You got bored and wrote a silly Post and I laughed with you. Well, If I got a Prize for every silly post I wrote. My Living Room would be Full.... LOL

I am afraid you missed the point - this is a deadly serious post

What could be more important than what happens to us for eternity ?

Will I meet Donald Trump ?

cats ?

Is it worth aspiring to ?

Tell me what is more important to you than your future in eternity ?

We spend all this time looking at our new house that we own for 5 years, but no time at all checking out eternity and what we are in for

Most people show a terrifying due diligence deficit

For the purpose of the answers, please assume I do a Nude Richgrinch and convert to Catholicism and become saved after I have had a lifetime of debauchery and cant get it up any more so why not

Edited December 9, 2011 by Ashud Cocoa

웃 · December 9, 2011

This religion stuff is definitely NOT a man made phenomenon created by superstitious gullible primitive people that had no idea about the Big Bang Fact and the Fact of Evolution...

Religions, sects and denominations in a general setting

Some entries are written more than once.

[change]Biblical Origins (started by the Bible)

All of these religions contain similar beliefs and use the "Old Testament" of the Bible

Bahá'í Faith
- Orthodox Bahai Faith

Christianity (see List of Christian denominations)
- Born Again Christians
- Catholicism
- Christian Gnosticism
- Eastern Orthodoxy
- Oriental Orthodoxy
- Protestantism
- Restorationism
  - Mormonism

Druze/Druzism

Islam
- Sunni
  - Shafi'i
  - Hanafi
  - Maliki
  - Hanbali
  [*]Shiite
  - Alawites
  - Ismailis
  [*]Wahhabi[*]Sufism (a form of Islamic mysticism)[*]Nation of Islam[*]Ibadhiyya[*]Ahmadiyya

Judaism
- First Century Messianic Renewed Judaism
- Pre-Rabbinic sects
  - Essenes
  - Hebrews/Hebrew religion
  - Pharisees/Pharisaism
  - Sadducees
  [*]Rabbinic Judaism
  - Conservative Judaism
  - Orthodox Judaism
    - Ultra-Orthodox Judaism
    - Modern Orthodox Judaism
    - Hasidic Judaism
    [*]Reconstructionist Judaism[*]Reform Judaism
  [*]Falasha Judaism[*]Karaite Judaism

Rastafari

Samaritanism
- 20th Century Messianic Renewed Judaism II

[change]Religions of South Asian origin

Ayyavazhi

Buddhism

Hinduism
- Vedanta
- Vaishnavism
  - Swaminarayan sect
  - Gaudiya Vaishnavism
    - ISKCON (Hare Krishna)
  [*]Saivism[*]Saktism[*]Smartism[*]Yoga

Jainism

Sikhism

[change]Persian religions

[change]Religions of East Asian origin

[change]Creole religions

[change]Faiths of indigenous peoples

African religions
[*]European religions
[*]Middle Eastern religions
- Yezidis
[*]Native American religions
[*]Northern indigenous religions
[*]Oceanic religions
- Australian Aboriginal mythology
- Cargo cults (Jon Frum, etc.)
  - Dievturiba
  [*]Hawaiian religion[*]Micronesian mythology[*]Maori mythology[*]Modekngei (Republic of Palau)[*]Nauruan indigenous religion[*]Polynesian mythology[*]Tuvaluan mythology

See also: Animism, Goddess Worship, Paganism, Shamanism

[change]Religions and spiritual movements of modern origin

ACIM (A Course In Miracles)
Eclectic unification religions
- Cao Dai
[*]Creativity Movement
[*]Falun Dafa (Falun Gong)[*]Happy Science[*]Humanism[*]Helenaism
[*]Left Hand Path religions
- Neopaganism (some forms)
- Satanism
[*]Temple of Set
- Thelema
[*]The Creativity Movement[*]Neopaganism
[*]Process Church of the Final Judgement[*]Raelism[*]Scientology[*]Spiritualism
- Spiritism
[*]Science Grounded Religion
- Dev Samaj
[*]Summum[*]Sithism

[change]Nonsectarian and trans-sectarian religious movements and practices

[change]Esotericism

[change]Mysticism

Christian mysticism
- Gnosticism
[*]Hindu mysticism
- Tantra
  - Tantric yoga
[*]Martinism[*]Meditation[*]Kabbalah[*]Spirituality[*]Sufism (Islamic mysticism)[*]Theosophy

[change]Magic (religion)

Astrology
Divination
- Prophecy
[*]Exorcism[*]Faith healing[*]Feng Shui[*]Magic
[*]Miracles[*]Seid (shamanic magic)[*]Witchcraft

[change]Beliefs that are not religions

[change]Joke religions

Bedism
Bokononism
Brianism
Church of Beavis Christ
Church of Dolcett
Church of Emacs
Church of Jesus Christ Elvis
Church of the SubGenius (The cult of J R "Bob" Dobbs)
Discordianism
The Golden Molsonites
The First Church of the Last Laugh
The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (Pastafarianism)
Kibology
Roshambo
Shatnerology
Darren Criss
Tapism
Invisible pink unicorn
Muy Gracioso

[change]Fictional religions

The religions of the Cthulhu Mythos
Jedi (Star Wars)
Klingon religion (Star Trek)
Robotology (Futurama)
Virtology ('Godspell)

Edited December 9, 2011 by Lord Infamous

mawilson · December 9, 2011

I think cats go to hell. Which is a good thing because so will I and I happen to like cats.

Captain Oates · December 9, 2011

This religion stuff is definitely NOT a man made phenomenon created by superstitious gullible primitive people that had no idea about the Big Bang Fact and the Fact of Evolution...

/w/index.php?title=Virtology&action=edit&redlink=1"]Virtology[/url] ('Godspell)

Look, I am seeking a definitive answer about cats in heaven - I don't care about all these other religions because I will become a catholic. If they accept that fat old pervert Richgrinch they will accept me - especially if I promise not to tell what I know about Father Finn whooo hoooooo

I get instant absolution and a free run at the Irish colleens and a credit card with a shamrock on it - all for a bit of tithing. I can lie about my tithable income and be forgiven !

Its the religion for me

Ok so we have the religion sorted out but the question remains, are catholic cats allowed in heaven ? She hates water so I think baptism is out of the question

Can she be a catholic without knowing she is - after all, catholic babies are Catholics and don't know it

웃 · December 9, 2011

Look, I am seeking a definitive answer about cats in heaven - I don't care about all these other religions because I will become a catholic. If they accept that fat old pervert Richgrinch they will accept me - especially if I promise not to tell what I know about Father Finn whooo hoooooo

I get instant absolution and a free run at the Irish colleens and a credit card with a shamrock on it - all for a bit of tithing. I can lie about my tithable income and be forgiven !

Its the religion for me

Ok so we have the religion sorted out but the question remains, are catholic cats allowed in heaven ? She hates water so I think baptism is out of the question

Can she be a catholic without knowing she is - after all, catholic babies are Catholics and don't know it

All reptiles go to hell thanks to that snake who sacrificed his life for the reptiles.

I think cats also go to hell because of the snake...He showed his love for animals by sacrificing himself. Now all animals go to hell.

Except for lambs because Jesus was referred to as the lamb of God.

"Perhaps heaven will have its share of animals. Still, the only "animal" definitely mentioned in heaven is the Lamb — who is, of course, Jesus Christ. I guess that you could also say that the "sheep" get to heaven, while the "goats" are definitely culled out. We do know that a new heaven and a new earth will be established. How the new life will be populated — except for God, the heavenly beings, and the saints who were saved by faith in Christ — we aren't told. It could be that earthly animals will be replaced by something else altogether. Maybe only certain creatures will be introduced into the new creation."

Edited December 9, 2011 by Lord Infamous

Captain Oates · December 9, 2011

All reptiles go to hell thanks to that snake who sacrificed his life for the reptiles.

I think cats also go to hell because of the snake...He showed his love for animals by sacrificing himself. Now all animals go to hell.

Except for lambs because Jesus was referred to as the lamb of God.

"Perhaps heaven will have its share of animals. Still, the only "animal" definitely mentioned in heaven is the Lamb — who is, of course, Jesus Christ. I guess that you could also say that the "sheep" get to heaven, while the "goats" are definitely culled out. We do know that a new heaven and a new earth will be established. How the new life will be populated — except for God, the heavenly beings, and the saints who were saved by faith in Christ — we aren't told. It could be that earthly animals will be replaced by something else altogether. Maybe only certain creatures will be introduced into the new creation."

Wow I love lambs - I think I will make sure I have mint sauce in my shroud for when I get there.

But wait - surely there wont be toilets in heaven, unless Richgrich's child toilet cleaners are there.

No toilets = no eating

So no cats, no eating and Richgrinch lives there - given a ticket by the catholics... hum...

Oh wait, its my eyes - I meant to say I am a catoholic not a catholic !

Misha & Ira · December 9, 2011

Captain Oates · December 9, 2011

I sometimes muse as to which countries our cat's ancestors came from.

My wife insists they are American cats - American short haired and thus exceptional and superior to all other races (Because of the constitution ?)

They are moggies like every moggy I have ever seem anywhere

I don't see why they should be excluded from heaven. I mean if Kitt Romney and Neutered Richgrich can get in....

Actually when I think of all the American politicians who weep about how they love jesus so much and how they cant wait to meet the lamb in heaven, its the LAST place I want to be for eternity

I would rather spend it in Catistan. Jane Fonda will be in Catistan too because she was against the Vietnam war.

Anybody who has ever been against any US war deserves to be barred from heaven. Blessed be the flame thrower manufacturers and phosporus grenade makers, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven

kytwell · December 9, 2011

Are there cats in heaven ?

The Christians say that only people who have accepted Jesus Christ as their savior can enter

I thought Christians believe 144,000 virgins of Jewish faith from the original 12 tribes of Israel go to heaven...

"Do not harm the earth or the sea or the trees, until after we have sealed the servants of God on their foreheads." And I heard the number of the sealed, a hundred and forty-four thousand, sealed from every tribe of the sons of Israel:

12,000 from the tribe of Judah were sealed,

12,000 from the tribe of Reuben,

12,000 from the tribe of Gad,

12,000 from the tribe of Asher,

12,000 from the tribe of Naphtali,

12,000 from the tribe of Manasseh,

12,000 from the tribe of Simeon,

12,000 from the tribe of Levi,

12,000 from the tribe of Issachar,

12,000 from the tribe of Zebulun,

12,000 from the tribe of Joseph,

12,000 from the tribe of Benjamin were sealed.

Source: Revelation 7:3-8 (ESV)

Cats are not native to the USA, European settlers brought them and they are an invasive species here in North America.

"Household cats were introduced in North America by European colonists; they are regarded as an invasive species and have few natural enemies to check their numbers. “They are like gypsy moths and kudzu — they cause major ecological disruption,” Dr. Marra said."

Source:

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/03/21/science/21birds.html?_r=1

Captain Oates · December 10, 2011

I thought Christians believe 144,000 virgins of Jewish faith from the original 12 tribes of Israel go to heaven...

"Do not harm the earth or the sea or the trees, until after we have sealed the servants of God on their foreheads." And I heard the number of the sealed, a hundred and forty-four thousand, sealed from every tribe of the sons of Israel:

12,000 from the tribe of Judah were sealed,

12,000 from the tribe of Reuben,

12,000 from the tribe of Gad,

12,000 from the tribe of Asher,

12,000 from the tribe of Naphtali,

12,000 from the tribe of Manasseh,

12,000 from the tribe of Simeon,

12,000 from the tribe of Levi,

12,000 from the tribe of Issachar,

12,000 from the tribe of Zebulun,

12,000 from the tribe of Joseph,

12,000 from the tribe of Benjamin were sealed.

Source: Revelation 7:3-8 (ESV)

Cats are not native to the USA, European settlers brought them and they are an invasive species here in North America.

"Household cats were introduced in North America by European colonists; they are regarded as an invasive species and have few natural enemies to check their numbers. “They are like gypsy moths and kudzu — they cause major ecological disruption,” Dr. Marra said."

Source:

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/03/21/science/21birds.html?_r=1

Yes and actually domestic cats are North African cats and so are an invasive species to the UK too

However, they purr and Pakistanis don't, and so they are taken in and fed and stroked and not told to go home. There is a lesson there

On the subject of virgins, have you ever been with one ?

I mean they are more useless than an electric car on a Seattle-Chicago trip

If they have those in heaven then I am definitely out

However, virgins (spinsters) and cats usually go together like mustaches and gay bars , so I expect both virgins and cats are in heaven

Its very telling that religious people haven't engaged with this thread and I think its for 2 reasons

A they take it literally and they think cats in heaven is silly, whereas in fact it holds deep philosophical meaning

B It totally rubbishes their rather childish notions of heaven and exposing these notions to the daylight might actually weaken their faith and they turn away quickly

My wife asked her religious teacher a similar question when she was 15 and was told " Look, you either believe or you don't, so don't bother me with these questions"

That is a real give way and every 15 year old should address the question of cats in heaven because it will shape their emerging religious beliefs

I told you this was very serious thread and nothing to do with cats really

Girl from Celebes · December 10, 2011

If cats run the world, they reassured would take a huge place in heaven. Maybe double since cats tend to have more babies than humans. Imaginery of which whom belong to heaven created by egocentrism of humans themselves. Who wants to be a loser anyway? I am a cat lover so I will take a chance to have free ride to heaven by using freepass of all my cats that I've ever had - If cats run the world-.

Edited December 10, 2011 by Girl from Celebes

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Are there cats in heaven ?

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