am i the only one

[kmarion1968 5]

After reading your post i have a couple points to respond to, and it seems alot of others did as well. firstly, you will never know what will or what will not work if you dont atleast give it a try, second, nothing is forever, meaning that if you decide to come here to the usa, and dont like living here or the culture then you can always leave..... Personally as an american im not offended by your comments, you simply dont know what you dont know.... only experience will give you what you need. My only advice would be to be cautious of taking any advice from others who are Jaded keep an open mind and god bless. Cheers!

[A and T 82]

I don't really know how to start this but i have to say this,

am i alone in in having reservations about moving to the US with my wife i honestly think we would have a better life here in the UK for one we won't ever have to worry about going bankrupt through medical bills also i earn far more than i ever could in the USA my wifes family works pretty much 24/7 on a couple of jobs just to keep their heads above water also i really don't like the American work culture as in live to work rather than work to live maybe i have just seen the negitive side of being in america but to be honest i'm scared about our future life i also don't like the fact that there is no middle ground there as far as politics go i neither agre with the left or right of politics but in the USA there is no middle party

sorry about lack of punctuation

yours eric

You guys are nuts for giving up the UK for the USA. Do you realize that USA has no social health care? And how difficult it is to find a job , and then have to pay for a healthcare plan monthly that constantly covers less. You will never have time off in the usa to work compared to the UK.

Your spouse should be thankful for the chance to live in the UK , not everyone gets such amazing opportunities.

[kmarion1968 5]

You guys are nuts for giving up the UK for the USA. Do you realize that USA has no social health care? And how difficult it is to find a job , and then have to pay for a healthcare plan monthly that constantly covers less. You will never have time off in the usa to work compared to the UK.

Your spouse should be thankful for the chance to live in the UK , not everyone gets such amazing opportunities.

In regards to your comments above, this isnt a political site so i will spare you my views on social style goverments. however that being stated, the system in place in the USA isnt the best for sure, but i would still take it over an entitlement style society anytime..... Nothing in life is free, and No one is entitled to free health care or unemployment that never ends. where is the incentive to suceed if someone else gives you everything you need. in closing i would just say that i can understand how for some its hard to understand the culture in the USA, but our society has never and most likely never will be a socilaist one. it goes against the morals under which the country was founded. I.E. 1776 decleration of independence from the British Crown.......just food for thought....

[Laure&Colin 557]

In regards to your comments above, this isnt a political site so i will spare you my views on social style goverments. however that being stated, the system in place in the USA isnt the best for sure, but i would still take it over an entitlement style society anytime..... Nothing in life is free, and No one is entitled to free health care or unemployment that never ends. where is the incentive to suceed if someone else gives you everything you need. in closing i would just say that i can understand how for some its hard to understand the culture in the USA, but our society has never and most likely never will be a socilaist one. it goes against the morals under which the country was founded. I.E. 1776 decleration of independence from the British Crown.......just food for thought....

Social security is never free. I live in France where we're supposedly lucky with our healthcare system, and I don't complain about it. But to have that, I must witness 21% of my gross income fly away to retirement, health, unemployment organisations before it hits my bank account. Everybody pays to be insured, except for a tiny fraction of people who really can't, and they are NOT where the deficit comes from.

What I find unacceptable in a system of private healthcare companies, is that after you've paid for years, they deny your rights for any ridiculous reason they can find. I lived in another country that had a US like system and it happened to me a few times. I was very, very pissed.

As for unemployment benefits: in my country where unemployed people are supposed to be happy, they do end. And finding a job is way harder than in the US!

So I think your idea of a "welfare" society is not really accurate.

[Glyn and Kathy 288]

Hi Eric. You are definitely not alone. Its a scary thing. I lived in the UK for about 1.5 years and I really liked it. It was very scary for me but I was willing to give it a go. Glyn decided to try living in the US after that. We arrived in the States with his VISA in June of 2008...just as the economy was tanking. He found it difficult at first and neither of us had health insurance (we both have medical conditions that require care). I got a full time job within a couple of months and he finally got one with benefits after about 5 months. Luckily we HAD some savings to live off of for a bit. He was really home sick for the UK and I worried that he wouldn't adjust. He hated the whole...you get two weeks paid vacation after being employed for a year. He wasn't used to the way things were here. So, we talked and finally decided after a couple of years here that we would go back to the UK. His parents were older and he really just wanted to be near his family. SO, after just 3 years, Glyn went back to England in Sept of this year....and he misses the US so much and would come back but we're too far into the process to change our minds now.

If you make better money and could live more comfortably there with your wife, why don't you try having her live there for a bit. The economy doesn't make it easy on either side of the pond, but if you're established in a job making good money....it would seem kind of silly to leave it and start over. If not, give it a go. You may do better than some who don't realize living here and visiting here are two different things. You sound like you don't have the crazy notion that life will be ideal here like some do when they move over.

Good luck!!

[wee carrington 33]

Social security is never free. I live in France where we're supposedly lucky with our healthcare system, and I don't complain about it. But to have that, I must witness 21% of my gross income fly away to retirement, health, unemployment organisations before it hits my bank account. Everybody pays to be insured, except for a tiny fraction of people who really can't, and they are NOT where the deficit comes from.

What I find unacceptable in a system of private healthcare companies, is that after you've paid for years, they deny your rights for any ridiculous reason they can find. I lived in another country that had a US like system and it happened to me a few times. I was very, very pissed.

As for unemployment benefits: in my country where unemployed people are supposed to be happy, they do end. And finding a job is way harder than in the US!

So I think your idea of a "welfare" society is not really accurate.

OP's not in France, he's in the UK-- where I've seen people better off being on the dole than working.

Bottom line is: if he really likes the way of life in the UK then, being totally honest, he probably won't have an easy time adjusting to life in the US.

[PantomimeGoose 59]

Have you looked into having her immigrate to the UK? My recollection's a little hazy since I haven't researched it in about two years, but I think it was considerably more costly in terms of amount of cash you had to have in the bank, amount of time you have to support your spouse while she can't work, serious anti-immigrant feeling in the bureaucracy etc.

When I was a student there, I couldn't find a part time job at all. Once my husband graduated, it took him 5 months to find *any* minimum wage drudge job: no job in our field in sight yet.

I think a lot depends on what the two of you do, who has the more marketable skills, what part of the country you're planning to live in, who has spent more time getting used to the other's homeland etc. No matter which you choose, one of you is going to experience some homesickness and culture shock. Being able to go to the doctor for free is great; going out to the pub and sometimes having a stranger smash a glass in your friend's face without provocation 'for fun' is not. Not having to pay counsel tax is great; long hours at work and inflexible vacation schedules are not.

[dustingthestars 9]

As a Brit that has spent most of my adult life living abroad, I can honestly say that I love to go back to the UK for the odd trip but I can't ever see myself living there again. This would have been the case even if I hadn't met my USC fiancée.

I have really fallen out of love with the UK and how everything works there. I have found, in my limited adult experience, that everything is loaded to favour certain elements of society and everyone else is expected to suffer . Many stories that I have heard from friends that suddenly found themselves on hard times through now fault of their own back my opinion up.

I think the OP should look at both options very carefully and consider all aspects of their life now and where they want to be in 5 years. Short-term pain for long-term gain could well mean that the US wins out in the end. Conversely, he might see that everything is loaded towards the UK.

[DouglasFiel 53]

In regards to your comments above, this isnt a political site so i will spare you my views on social style goverments. however that being stated, the system in place in the USA isnt the best for sure, but i would still take it over an entitlement style society anytime..... Nothing in life is free, and No one is entitled to free health care or unemployment that never ends. where is the incentive to suceed if someone else gives you everything you need. in closing i would just say that i can understand how for some its hard to understand the culture in the USA, but our society has never and most likely never will be a socilaist one. it goes against the morals under which the country was founded. I.E. 1776 decleration of independence from the British Crown.......just food for thought....

I travel all over the world,,, and you are right. The Europeans generally think 50% social taxation is normal and enjoy much more vacation and

affordable health care. However, most Americans want more vacation and health care that won't bankrupt you. But, they are also pragmatic and

realize there is no free lunch. What you get for "free" is costing you in reduced "Disposable Income". The choice is really do you want the

government to provide your cushion in life (ask the Greeks how is that working for you?), Or do you want to make your own way.

Americans generally don't trust the government on either side... Think occupy WallStreet and the Tea party, polar opposites on vision for America.

Regards,

[AmyWrites 593]

I'm the USC, but I've calculated it... my SO and I are almost guaranteed to have a better life in Moscow, at least for now. I don't know where both countries are headed, but America offers me less opportunities than Moscow right now.

I'd give it a try if I were you, but always have enough money in case you want to head back to the UK with your wife...

Edited December 8, 2011 by AmyWrites

[Aschenbecher 16]

Eric , your not the only one. My wife wants me to move to USA but i am nervous. I know how my wife lives, She constantly needs to keep working and she barly gets by. Everthing cost soo much in US , specially food.

In India, i have 2 maids who work for less then $60 a month. My utilities cost less then $100 a month.

My parents save enough money to take trips to europe and Asia every 2-3 years.

People might say India is poor country compared to US but the cost of living in India is soo low you can save a lot of money over time.

Plus i got everthing i wanted here, not to mention a sucussfull business , i never had to worry about paying bills. Also the cost of healthcare is soo low.

dispite of all the factors , i am still going ahead with this as my wife wants stay in US close to her elderly Mom & Dad and I love her a lots.

I always thought i will live my life alone, I had lost intrest in life. But after i found my wife i realized that my youthfull optism for life had come back. I had something to live for. My wife gave me my life back.

So now even a hard life in US dont sound that bad, Spacially when I have my betterhalf with me.

I hope you find your answer too Eric.

I wish you best of luck.

Aschenbecher

[moonunit 2]

I say take a chance. You never know until you try and unless you're in a profession that you've build up for years (or a doctor/lawyer/etc) / have a home you're paying for / etc personally I'm just in the opinion that you only live once and taking the plunge with an American, might as well give it a full go. Also... you don't have to live in the move expensive cities. I live in Los Angeles, it can get expensive here, but if I move more inland, not so much. There are very many inexpensive great cities over here. Just my two cents. Give it a try if you don't like it you can always move back as others said. But go into it with an open mind or you'll move and never like it.

[Laure&Colin 557]

Eric , your not the only one. My wife wants me to move to USA but i am nervous. I know how my wife lives, She constantly needs to keep working and she barly gets by. Everthing cost soo much in US , specially food.

In India, i have 2 maids who work for less then $60 a month. My utilities cost less then $100 a month.

My parents save enough money to take trips to europe and Asia every 2-3 years.

People might say India is poor country compared to US but the cost of living in India is soo low you can save a lot of money over time.

Well, I'm not sure the situation is quite comparable in the UK...

[Stann 3]

We got married in 2007 (him USC me UKC) we lived in US until 2007, then moved to UK until 2010, Moved back to US in 2010 and we are STILL undecided about where would be the best place to settle / have kids. For us it seems the grass is always greener, here are my thoughts

US:

Pro's

Better standard of living (cheaper to own brand new home / car )

Huge variation of places to visit / vacation, (ski in Colorado / tropical beaches in Florida)

Weather is much better (even in Chicago where we currently live you are guaranteed a hot summer even if the winter is cold)

Kids grow up slower, have more hobbies / sporting interests and are encouraged to be kids for longer (big one if you plan on having kids)

No council tax, dont want to get into the whole tax arguments but thinking of monthly bills this is a nice one to miss

Americans have a very positive attitude, this is probably the thing I love most about the US, in the UK everyone is waiting for you to fail - while it may be cheesy the whole American attitude of 'you go girl' is alive and well!

Better employment opportunities (once you get a job it is easier to move up in a company if you are a hard worker)

Healthcare - now i know this is a contentious one but the standard of healthcare is better here, I have had relatives in the UK get MRSA and never recover - this is not an issue here. No long waiting lists and the patient has much more control over their treatment.

Cons:

Healthcare - yes it costs money - if you work for a big company you will get a much better plan and your deductible will be much less. I did not sign up with my employer as they are a small company and the coverage was expensive but we are both on my hubbys as his is very good. Bottom line - one of you has to have a good job - if you plan on having kids it should be the one of you that will continue to work (typically the man).

Short vacation times - i get 3 weeks, hubby gets 2 weeks - no way around this one - it sucks compared to 4 weeks minimum in the UK

Maternity leave - terrible - varies between companies but can be as little as 6 weeks unpaid - terrible compared to UK where you can have up to 9 months off with some pay

Expensive uni - again if you are thinking of having kids - although the UK seems to be catching up on this. Also as long as your kid excels in one area you can get scholarships. Hubby went to a top uni for free on a scholarship. Another friend went to a top uni for free as she played Volleyball for the Uni.

That would be my overall thoughts, we want to have kids in the next couple of years so this is at the forefront of our decisions.

There is no answer to which country is better to live in - if that were the case dont you think everyone would live there? However I would say if you are already having reservations - it wont work - its so easy to become one of those ex-pats who compares everything to the UK and is miserable all the time - you have to move here with a positive outlook or it will not work.

Stacey

[ndu26 114]

There is no answer to which country is better to live in - if that were the case dont you think everyone would live there? However I would say if you are already having reservations - it wont work - its so easy to become one of those ex-pats who compares everything to the UK and is miserable all the time - you have to move here with a positive outlook or it will not work.

Stacey