Legitimate Relationship = $$$

[Hank_ 9,174]

OMG.. I have not heard many others use that expression 3 men and a boy. I learned it from my father.. too funny...

Terri

I grew up hearing tons of those quips

[NY_BX 397]

Dont pay for anything for the wedding. I lost a lot of money when my k1 was denied.

May I inquire about your denial?

[NY_BX 397]

As I sit and wait for my NOA2, I can't help but think about the K-1 process. I've been on VJ for several months now and I've read numerous success stories but also numerous horror stories. I know I need to be informed of the worst case scenarios to be prepared but I can't help in worrying that for some reason my legitimate relationship may not be approved because the country my fiance is from is high-fraud and the CO did not like the way he said "the".

As I've read different journeys I've realized the proof of the relationship is not necessarily in the "pudding". I feel the CO wants to see how much money are you willing to spend to validate and prove you have a legitimate relationship. Have you gone to see each other several times spending thousands of dollars in airfare, hotels, etc? Have you spent hundreds of dollars sending letters or packages to your fiance across international waters (are we not in the 21st century?!?) when you could just send an e-mail or wait to deliver the package and gift when you actually visit them?

Does quality not mean more than quantity? Why would $$$ be an indicator of authenticity? If someone was trying to "buy" their way into the US, don't you think it would be via $$$ (bribes)?

Why is religion such a red flag when one of my freedoms as a USC is freedom of religion? Can I not love someone from another religion? Even two USCs from different states could have such different beliefs and different cultures it would be comparable to being from a different country.

Why don't they read some of the e-mails or text messages that go back and forth between the couple? You can't make up that type of conversation between 2 people in love. Why don't they care about the details?

As I digress, I am at the discretion of the US government and will follow this process if I want to have a future with my fiance in the US. I will provide as much evidence as possible that they deem valid, but I can only hope and pray that my fiance and I have a smooth journey and that we can get married in August 2012. I can only dream that this will be my last holiday season alone and that next year, we will be able to celebrate our first Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year's together as husband and wife.

Because of all you have pointed out, and even more, I decided to save my money and be with my fiancee at his interview in hopes to overcome all the scrutiny. There's no better way to proof validity, but to be there.

[SimranS 9]

And another thing I don't get; people telling me that we would have a better chance if I go to India, marry there and then live there for 6 months, a year and then go through the CR-1. How does a USC do that? What would I do with my job of 24 years? They certainly wouldn't hold my position for me. What do I do with my home, my furniture, car, etc? What about all the bills I have to pay? How am I paying for those not knowing if I could make enough in another country to stay afloat? I would really like to know the answers to those questions too. Sorry to be so verbose and I appreciate the forum's patience!

I'm one of those people who recommends going the CR1 route. However, going to India, getting married, and doing CR1 does not mean you *have* to stay in India for 6 months or any long continuous period of time for that matter. Even less than a month would be sufficient. Staying for some time after marriage would certainly be one plus point, but not *essential* either because the COs know that Americans have the types of obligations back home like you mentioned.

The K1 is inherently a riskier visa for various reasons. With CR1, just the fact that you've married in India with the Indian citizen's relatives and friends present will go a long way in getting you approved. From what I've observed it seems like most visa denials in India are because the consulate is convinced that the beneficiary isn't serious about their relationship and is using the petitioner with the intent to ditch them after getting what they want. In Indian culture marrying in front of one's family/relatives/society is a big sign that they are indeed serious about the marriage. With the K1 it would be too easy for the beneficiary to use the petitioner since they could easily ditch them after reaching the States without having to suffer any shame from society back home. So there are many cultural intricacies at play here and the consulate will look at things from this perspective.

[Sayha or bust. 71]

Thats a pretty cool!

Except for those applying from Viet Nam, or several other Hi-Fraud countries! We are forced straight to PhD level right from the start. One small mistake and we are Toast !

The worst part of the process for those submitting from Viet Nam, PI, Thailand, etc, is the unfair stereotype placed on Asian females marrying a Westerner. Your fiance is quickly labeled as either an illiterate village/island mail-order bride, or some sleazy "me so horny" bargirl trying to get to the states. These roles are just reinforced by the media based on the unrealistic stereotypical roles of Asian females seen on TV and the movies.

Exactly right! Its a 50/50 chance I would say on Visa 1st time. Immigration process is never an easy thing most of all because of the distance, Loneliness and the uncertain. I think everyone should over prepare and really get to know your better half while your apart so when he or she goes to interview they can answer any questions about you! If the love is true they will be with at the end of the journey

As far Relationship= $$$$, I think that's somewhat true, Truth is it does cost a lot of money for this type of love, but once the green cards in her hand that will be a thought of the past!

Best wishes, Rich

[Austramerican 83]

If it cost a million dollars for us to be together, we would work until our fingers bled <3 Money doesn't matter so much as being together

[Rufus2012 175]

Exactly right! Its a 50/50 chance I would say on Visa 1st time.

It is not 50/50. 96% are approved the first time, 3.2% on appeal, meaning that 99.2% of K-1s are eventually approved.

Unless you mean something else by 50/50?

[AKSinghSingh79 143]

If it cost a million dollars for us to be together, we would work until our fingers bled <3 Money doesn't matter so much as being together

You inspire me!

[Nicoco 26]

I think this sums up a lot of the feelings that many have here:

It's a combination of the separation and the lack of control.

A long distance relationship has it's own set of challenges, but let's face it; in most, if a spouse ended up in the hospital, or pregnant, or financial straits changed, or if your loved one was really suffering from the distance, you'd come back or bring them to you in a heartbeat. In our situation, we're deprived of that choice.

In place of that choice, we're forced to pay the government money, fill out a convoluted application to prove our love is good enough, and then wait until they see fit to have a life. It makes it difficult to do normal things, and by extention to feel normal. (This is a wild understatement: much of the past year has felt like a chapter from Kafka's 'The Trial', or Sartre's 'No Exit')

Some days it feels like if I don't have freedom to choose my life, to choose my family, without justifying it to the government, I must not have much freedom at all.

The hard part has been the separation from my husband for a few years. The tragic part is that I don't know if I will ever believe in the country or the inefficient bureacracy that took that time from us again.

Not really sure if it's the money, but I do understand what you mean. It's hard to go visit someone who lives literally half way across the world. For me to visit my fiance for a long period of time so I could know if I could live with him and because of the possibility of him being forced into Thai military, I quit my job and went over there for 3 months. I know everyone can't do that, and I was just very lucky when I got back to find a really good job. But it was a big decision to make.

[Helen Louise Pile 80]

As I sit and wait for my NOA2, I can't help but think about the K-1 process. I've been on VJ for several months now and I've read numerous success stories but also numerous horror stories. I know I need to be informed of the worst case scenarios to be prepared but I can't help in worrying that for some reason my legitimate relationship may not be approved because the country my fiance is from is high-fraud and the CO did not like the way he said "the".

As I've read different journeys I've realized the proof of the relationship is not necessarily in the "pudding". I feel the CO wants to see how much money are you willing to spend to validate and prove you have a legitimate relationship. Have you gone to see each other several times spending thousands of dollars in airfare, hotels, etc? Have you spent hundreds of dollars sending letters or packages to your fiance across international waters (are we not in the 21st century?!?) when you could just send an e-mail or wait to deliver the package and gift when you actually visit them?

Does quality not mean more than quantity? Why would $$$ be an indicator of authenticity? If someone was trying to "buy" their way into the US, don't you think it would be via $$$ (bribes)?

Why is religion such a red flag when one of my freedoms as a USC is freedom of religion? Can I not love someone from another religion? Even two USCs from different states could have such different beliefs and different cultures it would be comparable to being from a different country.

Why don't they read some of the e-mails or text messages that go back and forth between the couple? You can't make up that type of conversation between 2 people in love. Why don't they care about the details?

As I digress, I am at the discretion of the US government and will follow this process if I want to have a future with my fiance in the US. I will provide as much evidence as possible that they deem valid, but I can only hope and pray that my fiance and I have a smooth journey and that we can get married in August 2012. I can only dream that this will be my last holiday season alone and that next year, we will be able to celebrate our first Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year's together as husband and wife.

As another poster said...they are not malicious, they are just a bureaucracy.

Each case is different. The only time money was part of our visa process was paying for visa and medical costs and the I-134. They had no interest in anything like packages or gifts.

You just have to be organized and ready for any questions they may have.

[Ellewhitten 0]

my k1 already proccess like 1year 1month now,

so many hard went thru,

and now still nothing

sometime they just pushing u to give up by give u nothing

i do understand the co dont have too much time

but think about since the day they ensure you the interview time

you always have time to papering,the co too

and also the NVC sent case to embassy

embassy need time to review then sent u interview time

it almost got 1 month,

by guess the couple is true or not with some simply question

hardly tell, even some co is very exprience,still

love stuff is not something easy that u can just make a decision by some questions

and thats why k1 proccess takes like 6-1year

but they didnt do a good job or maybe they got boring about this job

they began to fool with it,mess up real couple's feeling

and send fraud one into usa

im from china, i know how the most prof agency who help people do the k1

if you r fake,they also can help u, even the phone record,chat history

everything can make it up, USC dont wanna call ,ok easy,let him use his name to get a phone number

then give to them, they will call you daily,USC dont wanna spend time on chat,ok,easy, they will chat with u

say loving word,video chat,but even that, thats still fake

if anyone spend time on chat history which the applicant sent

im sure, even the most stupid people in this world will find out which one is fake which one is real

the loving word say it with love is different

and im sure all the co in embassy might not all married,but they r do in love once or more

or if they r really so exprience,why still got fraud one into usa?

that clearly to say the way they work now is not right

they r lazy,with long proccess,should no problem,

but how many fraud into usa ?? from what i know, A LOT

its so hard, hard to went thru those day without anything,any info from them

all the way we asked helped,still nothing,i think maybe the only way to make them care about our case

is a call from Obama,but clearly,not gonna happen too

Its suck., its suck like hell

[Sayha or bust. 71]

It is not 50/50. 96% are approved the first time, 3.2% on appeal, meaning that 99.2% of K-1s are eventually approved.

Unless you mean something else by 50/50?

I went through one of the Hardest Consulates in the world and It is not easy getting the Visa after the 1st interview. Your correct in saying 96% of Visa's are approved but I would say that it's incorrect to say approved after 1st interview. Every consulate is different, I suppose your country is low fraud. My bad for not mentioning interview.

Edited December 8, 2011 by Sayha or bust.