Does it feel like you had to "buy" your Spouse ?

[Tim/Mav 305]

Not sure exactly what you mean by "sucked you blind", or having paid a price, or a "fee"? I fell in love, moved here, got married, and started a few different businesses, had a beautiful baby boy, and now it's time to go, as it's hard to earn here. I have never paid more than any average filipino for anything, in fact, I pay less for my rent - as I negotiated it down by about half. I married into a great family, they never ask me for anything, and if I was to do everything that I have done here back in the states, it would have cost me 10 times the price. I don't "pay" for my relationship, we are a team, an equal partnership, and I can't say enough good things about my wife. For example, all expats who live here are expected to hire ya ya's to care for their kids, maids for their laundry, drivers for their cars - my wife does it all herself, and at the risk of looking "bad" in front of other filam couples. Neither one of us care what others think. We will raise our own children without help from outsiders, and my wife agrees. Show me any woman who wants to marry a loafer, a bum, or a lazy man - I don't care where they are from, they all want security, and someone who will help provide and take care of their kids and be a family man, not a womanizer or a bar stool. My wife in particular is educated, has held a job for many years in a first world country, and so she knows what she wants in a man. She, like so many filipina's here, want a man who is already past the immature stage, who is done playing around, who is secure in who he is, his employment or career, and, unlike a lot of filipino men here, will treat them with the respect they deserve. The women here are much more serious than the men. Age matters not to these women. I see first hand the laziness in some of the men here, and can understand why many are drawn to foreigners. It's not all about the money. I'm sorry to get a little off topic here. So in response to your statements, yes, they may have "seen me coming", but no, I only pay the locals price. (Cost to be here per year = $7.20 USD) If you really want to live here and experience the Philippines, try shopping at the Public Wet market, on New Years eve, in the fruits and vegetables section - WOW! Now that's an experience that stays with you! As far as wanting to live here, you don't know until you actually do it, but the constant brownouts, the heat and humidity, the water being shut off if it rains to much, the total lack of clean comfort rooms, good beef, real cheese, veal, hmmmmmmm VEAL, just gets tired...

Excellent Reply.

[Fandango 1,439]

So how should immigration work? Should it be free? Should the taxpayers of this country all pay for fully staffed facilities so that the process only takes a week?

It's either complaining about the wait, or complaining about the fees.

[OnMyWayID 1,489]

No Personal Attack Intended. Absolutely not!

I started the Topic based upon how I feel about Immigration and How Costly it becomes from start to finish and the stress it causes when you find yourself involved and will not turn back.

It has gone Off Topic alot and me myself. We just try and find some humor in what it is we are doing to help ease alittle.

I apologize for assuming it was meant another way. I seem to have about a one-a-week quota for totally misreading someone’s intent on this site.

[J and S 38]

So how should immigration work? Should it be free? Should the taxpayers of this country all pay for fully staffed facilities so that the process only takes a week?

It's either complaining about the wait, or complaining about the fees.

No one is implying that it should be free or that we should pay more taxes for it to occur. (Although I've seen people suggest that there be a fee for expediting it, say a $500 fee to make it go quicker. I personally don't think it'd be a good system....but I digress).

No one is really complaining about the fees either. It's very clear that we'e all accepted that we pay the fees for a visa. It's just a poll and assessment of what it could be like.

[Fandango 1,439]

No one is implying that it should be free or that we should pay more taxes for it to occur. (Although I've seen people suggest that there be a fee for expediting it, say a $500 fee to make it go quicker. I personally don't think it'd be a good system....but I digress).

No one is really complaining about the fees either. It's very clear that we'e all accepted that we pay the fees for a visa. It's just a poll and assessment of what it could be like.

So fees weren't part of what the op was mentioning?

Per the OP:

Well, as I said. Even though you never meant to PURCHASE a Finacee/Spouse. Thats the way it is handled by Goverments. No such thing as: $99.00 Down and $99.00 a month.

I had to add in Attorney Fees as well in addition.

USCIS and the Country of your Beloved know you will pay. Or deny you. They work on your Emotions and your Bank Account.

That was just on page one...I didn't search his posts further. Therefore, my comment stands.

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

So fees weren't part of what the op was mentioning?

Per the OP:

That was just on page one...I didn't search his posts further. Therefore, my comment stands.

Don't tell Steven. He was off on another tangent (as usual) on another subject, personally attacking the OP (as usual).

[J and S 38]

So fees weren't part of what the op was mentioning?

Per the OP:

That was just on page one...I didn't search his posts further. Therefore, my comment stands.

I see it as a statement of "it is what it is." We all pay. We all deal with it.

I'm still trying to see where the implication is that it should be free or that taxpayers should pay more out of their pocket for these processes.

So my statement still stands. Where is THAT in the statements?

[MyLittlePony 340]

Better investment then being stuck with American money hungry woman

[Tim/Mav 305]

I apologize for assuming it was meant another way. I seem to have about a one-a-week quota for totally misreading someone's intent on this site.

I never said I knew what I was talking about!

Edited December 8, 2011 by Tim/Mav

[Tim/Mav 305]

OnMyWay. Your replies were fine. Constructive Critism is what we members do. VJ is a Forum Site. It is beneficary to read. What members add we read and make our own assumptions. YOU SAID NOTHING WRONG. Hugs

[dwheels76 5,468]

This is too funny and well to true. It is expensive and so painful. I mean why can't us the petitioner get money back for each month of delay? I call that "pain and suffering". Really 8 to 10 months that's crazy slow.

We shall see though. I am just beginning the journey. Hope I too still have my sense of humor in a few months.

[Tim/Mav 305]

This is too funny and well to true. It is expensive and so painful. I mean why can't us the petitioner get money back for each month of delay? I call that "pain and suffering". Really 8 to 10 months that's crazy slow.

We shall see though. I am just beginning the journey. Hope I too still have my sense of humor in a few months.

Keep your sense of Humor but don't quit your day job.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Having tripled what most people pay in fees for my most amazing wife and two sons PLUS college educations for two of them so far and ALL the fees all the way through to citizenship, two trips to Ukraine/Russia for four people every year, cars, insurance, a new house...I can say that the amount of money I spent was never an issue for me and I would pay 10 times the amount if needed.

I met my wife by the most fortunate of chances in a country neither of us was living in and ended proposing to her before I even knew there was such a thing as a K-1 visa (I figured there must be something)

I actually thought the fees and process was very reasonable and easy for what is received...are you kidding? US citizenship for three people! That's a pretty good reward and I am glad my family can enjoy it. It is harder to get an Act 250 permit from the state...to build a school for the state.

I haven't had a bad day since the moment I laid eyes on my wife for the first time.

[sachinky 464]

I don't know about Alex 'buying' me - I had to import myself! Paid for the visa, plane fare, moving costs, I've bought all our bedding and furniture and I've also supported him pretty much since we were married (he was laid off two days after the ceremony).

I don't even count the two month's rent/food he paid himself before we were married, as I also paid off a large chunk of his credit cards.

I evidently got everything backwards...

LOL. Me too. Mr. Sachinky paid for the I-130, and the I-864. I paid the IV fees, medical fees and bought my own ticket. I've told him that I imported myself to the US at a great cost to my mental health. Now If he wants me to continue to reside in the US and not have USCIS deport my butt back to India (which, believe me, I would quite happily go), he's going to have to take care of the ROC bit of things from here on now.

Edited December 10, 2011 by sachinky

[amyandjorge 76]

Interesting how a few years difference in age makes this topic so diverse.

I like to think of it as a bribe to the US government to let me live with my husband in my own country .

It does make more sense for the beneficiary to be responsible for the visa expenses, they are after all the person that 'benefits'. (which he is! contributing at least)

Coincidentally, someone just mentioned to me that the US government was trying to pass something making it a little easier (for certain countries) to petition foreign relatives to the US. That person compared the lack of non spousal visas and the availability of K-1 visas (especially if the poor young lady only has to entertain ) to sex trafficking. I know, their rhetoric was drastic, but there is that opinion out there. It should be important for everyone on this board to be able to confront these sentiments and negate them with proof of a loving relationship by at least semi contemporary standards.