Does it feel like you had to "buy" your Spouse ?

[MalaysianGirl 26]

So many trolls.

I don't think I was trolling... I was agreeing with Mister Fancypants without making any comment (because I didn't know what to say)?

In Internet slang, a troll is someone who posts inflammatory,[2] extraneous, or off-topic messages in an online community, such as an online discussion forum, chat room, or blog, with the primary intent of provoking readers into an emotional response[3] or of otherwise disrupting normal on-topic discussion.[4] The noun troll may refer to the provocative message itself, as in: "That was an excellent troll you posted".

Edited December 7, 2011 by MalaysianGirl

[one...two...tree 2,762]

So many trolls.

Anyways, not saying that I completely agree with everything that Steve said is true. But he brings up some good observations. As a 2nd generation Filipina-American, he's not far off. Specifically, the difference between what a PI born versus an American born pinay in relationships with older men. I couldn't tell you a single american born pinay of the people I know who have married a man of that many years older. And I know hundreds.

However, just because there may be a grain of truth in the observation, does not mean that the love is not true. I think it just means that Pinays born in the PI are more open and willing to let these love relationships build.

I personally don't mind this "fact." My fiance is from a country where "find a nice American to marry and get the hell out of here," is a common point of view. We happened upon each other and grew to love each other. I know where his heart is. That's what matters. I simply laugh at the fact that his family and friends say things like "whoo hoo you found a rich American girl." ... I laugh mostly because I'm still paying off 20K in student loans and live in a small one bedroom apartment. If they onllllly knew.

It's always great to get the perspective of a Filipino-American in these discussions.

I don't think I was trolling... I was agreeing with Mister Fancypants without making any comment (because I didn't know what to say)?

She wasn't referring to you, but the ones who went on the attack when I spoke the truth.

Edited December 7, 2011 by Mister Fancypants

[Bad_Daddy 2,209]

Meeting online over 4 years ago just on My-Space. I feel in love with Mav. Never heard of immigration before. I proposed and and started to look things up. Not a Simple Plane flight.

I only heard of a Passport on 007 Movies. So I bought one.. Next a $1,500.00 Plane Fee. Next transportation. This Fee and that Fee. Then Pay for this and for that. And they can say No unless you have the Money.

A woman is FREE in the US and might even come with a Coupon. Buy one night get the next one Free. That is not me.

I guess what I mean is: Did you ever realize all this ####### to Immigration? Its like buying a person. You don't own that person but you love them and will do anything.

On Average: $8,000.00 from start to finish with Peitions with no problems.

So, Vote: Did you buy Love. I'm doing it. Guilty but thats the Law.

Unless you can read a gals mind it's a tough call.

Edited December 7, 2011 by Why_Me

[MalaysianGirl 26]

She wasn't referring to you, but the ones who went on the attack when I spoke the truth.

That's what I thought at first, but then I realized I received an email saying J and S quoted my post on this thread and I thought she was talking to me. Hence my question and emoticon.

Thanks for clearing that up, Mister Fancypants.

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

So many trolls.

Anyways, not saying that I completely agree with everything that Steve said is true. But he brings up some good observations. As a 2nd generation Filipina-American, he's not far off. Specifically, the difference between what a PI born versus an American born pinay in relationships with older men. I couldn't tell you a single american born pinay of the people I know who have married a man of that many years older. And I know hundreds.

However, just because there may be a grain of truth in the observation, does not mean that the love is not true. I think it just means that Pinays born in the PI are more open and willing to let these love relationships build.

I personally don't mind this "fact." My fiance is from a country where "find a nice American to marry and get the hell out of here," is a common point of view. We happened upon each other and grew to love each other. I know where his heart is. That's what matters. I simply laugh at the fact that his family and friends say things like "whoo hoo you found a rich American girl." ... I laugh mostly because I'm still paying off 20K in student loans and live in a small one bedroom apartment. If they onllllly knew.

I don't see it every day, but I see it fairly often, and not just Pinay, younger girls and older men. When I was growing up, that was almost the norm. The man went out, got a job, and when he saved enough, he went looking for a pretty young wife, often ten years or more his junior, willing to be the mother of his children. That was before Oprah.

[J and S 38]

It's always great to get the perspective of a Filipino-American in these discussions.

She wasn't referring to you, but the ones who went on the attack when I spoke the truth.

Yup, I was speaking of the others. lol.

When people get so defensive of the truth, to me it's a sign of insecurity.

On the other hand I can see it. And I can shrug it off. Yep. People in my fiance's country think it wise to find an American and leave. Yep, people are encouraging him in that respect. Yep. It's a simple truth of that country. So what. I know our love is real.

...

On a side note. Pinays born in the PI are more willing to date and marry older American men with money, yes. American born Pinays generally will NOT go this direction. Yes. But it still often seen as a "step up" to marry a white man. ... ... Somewhat true for many asian cultures actually. Hey look. My fiance is white. Some friends have even commented on it. Totally not offended by this generalization. Why? Because, again...I know our love is real.

...

Personally, I wouldn't get so defensive over generalizations such as the one presented. Taking the defense on it and then posting some troll comments shows serious lack of perspective.

[MalaysianGirl 26]

Yup, I was speaking of the others. lol.

When people get so defensive of the truth, to me it's a sign of insecurity.

On the other hand I can see it. And I can shrug it off. Yep. People in my fiance's country think it wise to find an American and leave. Yep, people are encouraging him in that respect. Yep. It's a simple truth of that country. So what. I know our love is real.

...

On a side note. Pinays born in the PI are more willing to date and marry older American men with money, yes. American born Pinays generally will NOT go this direction. Yes. But it still often seen as a "step up" to marry a white man. ... ... Somewhat true for many asian cultures actually. Hey look. My fiance is white. Some friends have even commented on it. Totally not offended by this generalization. Why? Because, again...I know our love is real.

...

Personally, I wouldn't get so defensive over generalizations such as the one presented. Taking the defense on it and then posting some troll comments shows serious lack of perspective.

Highlighted part: Totally agree.

[J and S 38]

I don't see it every day, but I see it fairly often, and not just Pinay, younger girls and older men. When I was growing up, that was almost the norm. The man went out, got a job, and when he saved enough, he went looking for a pretty young wife, often ten years or more his junior, willing to be the mother of his children. That was before Oprah.

We are in completely different generations. How many women in their late 20s or early 30s do you know dating a man in his 40s or 50s (specifically over 10 years their age)? I can count on one hand. Yes there are some. But they are not the majority. It is not the norm.

Steve made an observation that was true. I was simply confirming it, as 1) a 28 year old female with friends and female acquaintances from the age of 20-39 and 2) as a Filipino-American (which is where the discussion stemmed from: considering the dating habits of Filipinas).

Why is it so hard to accept what he said? I don't get it.

That's what I thought at first, but then I realized I received an email saying J and S quoted my post on this thread and I thought she was talking to me. Hence my question and emoticon.

Thanks for clearing that up, Mister Fancypants.

lol oops. I may have pressed reply from your post if it was the last one that I read.

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

We are in completely different generations. How many women in their late 20s or early 30s do you know dating a man in his 40s or 50s (specifically over 10 years their age)? I can count on one hand. Yes there are some. But they are not the majority. It is not the norm.

Steve made an observation that was true. I was simply confirming it, as 1) a 28 year old female with friends and female acquaintances from the age of 20-39 and 2) as a Filipino-American (which is where the discussion stemmed from: considering the dating habits of Filipinas).

Why is it so hard to accept what he said? I don't get it.

It was the way he said it, and he says it often. It's a tired old song.

[MalaysianGirl 26]

lol oops. I may have pressed reply from your post if it was the last one that I read.

No worries. Thanks for clarifying though

[J and S 38]

It was the way he said it, and he says it often. It's a tired old song.

Does it make it less true?

If I said it first, would it have been less offending?

I do smile and make the sweet innocent look. ... it works sometimes when making a point. Unfortunately not with my fiance. He knows that trick too well.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

On a side note. Pinays born in the PI are more willing to date and marry older American men with money, yes. American born Pinays generally will NOT go this direction. Yes. But it still often seen as a "step up" to marry a white man. ... ... Somewhat true for many asian cultures actually. Hey look. My fiance is white. Some friends have even commented on it. Totally not offended by this generalization. Why? Because, again...I know our love is real.

My wife has a lot of relatives spread out through the states as well as Canada, and the 2nd generation Filipino-Americans are almost all married to other Filipino-Americans because maintaining their cultural identity is important. Even those Filipinas who married Kanos - they form social networks with other Filipinos in their area and most of their socializing is through Filipino gatherings.

We were invited to Filipino holiday party last weekend made up of all mixed couples and it's kind of funny to see how the party goes compared to one that is primarily Filipino. With the mixed couples, the Filipinas tend to congregate, dance and laugh with one another while their Kano husbands look like they'd rather be sitting on their coach at home watching TV. These girls are singing and dancing to music most of the guys have never heard of.

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

Does it make it less true?

If I said it first, would it have been less offending?

I do smile and make the sweet innocent look. ... it works sometimes when making a point. Unfortunately not with my fiance. He knows that trick too well.

But you are nice and well spoken. I may have responded differently.

Have a good night. Time to go.

[luckytxn 2,264]

I won't say I bought a wife but I will say I paid money to bring my wife here to be with me. The Federal government have rules that we must follow in order to get a visa. These rules mean that we have to spend money to comply with the rules. Now I and many here have money from one means or another where we are able to indulge how we see fit. Some reason I was asked to speak to a friend I know Niece. I at first said no and never but after a few years I finally gave in and we hit it off. Pretty much we both like to good on each other and laugh. I did have a problem about the difference in our ages as I had no idea how to be on the same plane in thinking. I had been with a few girls here in the states that were younger and their head was in a different place then mine and found outside the physical attractions and sex that there was no common ground. That was all I had to go on with the big difference in our ages so I wondered how we could get along happily in the future. I had been to many Asian countries before and knew the cultural aspects and dynamics would be different. For whatever reason we are very happy and life is awesome.

Many do not have the ability to do as we have. I have always been a hard worker and saved and had a lot of assets. Once a year I would take off and travel to some country. I had money in the bank so I could afford to go after my hot young babe and pursue her and pay to get a visa for her and any other expenses. Did I buy her? No I did not. Did I pay for her visa and the requirements that our government said I had to do? Yes I did.

To say that you bought your babe is maybe the wrong terminology.

[dirtsquirter 7]

That was my point when I started the Topic. You will do anything to be with her. Sell your property below value, pay all these Fees. I know a person who gave away his home because he said : I don't need it anymore. He did'nt want the bother, he was to focused on her.

But, don't tell me that Country has'nt sucked you blind for your decisions. They seen you coming and tell me you have'nt paid the price. I know your paying a Fee just to stay there. So Please. You paid for your relationship and still are. That was the Topic and my point but it is Normal.

I'm Jelous, I would love to go live with there. LOL

Not sure exactly what you mean by "sucked you blind", or having paid a price, or a "fee"? I fell in love, moved here, got married, and started a few different businesses, had a beautiful baby boy, and now it's time to go, as it's hard to earn here. I have never paid more than any average filipino for anything, in fact, I pay less for my rent - as I negotiated it down by about half. I married into a great family, they never ask me for anything, and if I was to do everything that I have done here back in the states, it would have cost me 10 times the price. I don't "pay" for my relationship, we are a team, an equal partnership, and I can't say enough good things about my wife. For example, all expats who live here are expected to hire ya ya's to care for their kids, maids for their laundry, drivers for their cars - my wife does it all herself, and at the risk of looking "bad" in front of other filam couples. Neither one of us care what others think. We will raise our own children without help from outsiders, and my wife agrees. Show me any woman who wants to marry a loafer, a bum, or a lazy man - I don't care where they are from, they all want security, and someone who will help provide and take care of their kids and be a family man, not a womanizer or a bar stool. My wife in particular is educated, has held a job for many years in a first world country, and so she knows what she wants in a man. She, like so many filipina's here, want a man who is already past the immature stage, who is done playing around, who is secure in who he is, his employment or career, and, unlike a lot of filipino men here, will treat them with the respect they deserve. The women here are much more serious than the men. Age matters not to these women. I see first hand the laziness in some of the men here, and can understand why many are drawn to foreigners. It's not all about the money. I'm sorry to get a little off topic here. So in response to your statements, yes, they may have "seen me coming", but no, I only pay the locals price. (Cost to be here per year = $7.20 USD) If you really want to live here and experience the Philippines, try shopping at the Public Wet market, on New Years eve, in the fruits and vegetables section - WOW! Now that's an experience that stays with you! As far as wanting to live here, you don't know until you actually do it, but the constant brownouts, the heat and humidity, the water being shut off if it rains to much, the total lack of clean comfort rooms, good beef, real cheese, veal, hmmmmmmm VEAL, just gets tired...