Does it feel like you had to "buy" your Spouse ?

[BobnCherry 10]

I get carried away sometimes.

http://www.youtube.c...lf=mfu_in_order

Oh ok I thought I missed something

[J and S 38]

There should not be a stigma but there certainly is one.. There was a thread some months back about reducing fraud.. among the suggestions were the elimination of co-sponsors, the elimination of the K-1, etc, etc.. One of the suggestions was not allowing visas for people who initially met through the internet. Crazy of course but there are people even on this site that feel that way.. The stigma is much stronger if, say, a dating or introduction site was used.

Sorry off topic I know...

On topic of the visa fees: I am very happy that it is a self-funded service and I don't find the fees that out-of-line (I never had the "buying a spouse" feeling). The process could use some transparency and people could be treated with a tad more dignity at certain steps.

Interesting. Most people are very curious about how Srdjan and I met. We both are members of a virtual game. yada yada yada.

Not to say there ISN'T one, but it's decreasing more and more as social networks become an integrated part of people's every day life.

...I'm totally off topic. ... but that's how I roll

[OnMyWayID 1,489]

I'm only joking here. Spouses are never ON SALE. The fees have to be paid.

But, curious. Internet dating sites.

But, the first line on Your Timeline indicates. We met a Dance Club in the Dominium Replublic. OMG! Now what is a innocent girl doing at a dance club. Bet you looked Hot.

No need to be defensive. I could care less how two people meet. I'm not sure why you needed to launch a personal attack based on someones simple observation.

[OnMyWayID 1,489]

Not to say there ISN'T one, but it's decreasing more and more as social networks become an integrated part of people's every day life.

...I'm totally off topic. ... but that's how I roll

Agreed.. the "online" is the first thing people tend to ask about then they go into "how online?". Simple curiosity for most people.

[Tim/Mav 305]

No need to be defensive. I could care less how two people meet. I'm not sure why you needed to launch a personal attack based on someones simple observation.

No Personal Attack Intended. Absolutely not!

I started the Topic based upon how I feel about Immigration and How Costly it becomes from start to finish and the stress it causes when you find yourself involved and will not turn back.

It has gone Off Topic alot and me myself. We just try and find some humor in what it is we are doing to help ease alittle.

Edited December 6, 2011 by Tim/Mav

[J and S 38]

Agreed.. the "online" is the first thing people tend to ask about then they go into "how online?". Simple curiosity for most people.

Yeah. I thought people would say something about it, and be against us and so forth and so on. But oddly enough, most people are like "oh you m et online? pffft. Lots of people do that these days."

4+K later, it'll be the most expensive game I ever played. But it's ok lol

[Alex & Rachel 78]

I don't know about Alex 'buying' me - I had to import myself! Paid for the visa, plane fare, moving costs, I've bought all our bedding and furniture and I've also supported him pretty much since we were married (he was laid off two days after the ceremony).

I don't even count the two month's rent/food he paid himself before we were married, as I also paid off a large chunk of his credit cards.

I evidently got everything backwards...

[Deputy Purple 1,294]

Remember Bob, the post was not related to: The Love within the Family or even just a Finace/Financee. It was directed at how the System of Immigration works on your weakness and wallet because you Love that person/persons so much and is your life.

I don't think I seen one Member disagree that they know it really was like buying a family/and or/spouse. And would'nt sacrafice a thing to change that. Thats Love and the Goverment gets profit from OUR Overseas emotions. I really don't think USCIS Profits, I think the Attorneys do. Its a form of corrupt Goverment.

So Bob. 3 years ago. So your daughter would be 20 .. Maybe 21. You are a Proud Father and Husband. Thats the way it should be.

Oh I understand the topic here, was just replying directly to part of the post relating to stigma because I believe that stigma can play into how we feel about or foreign spouses (if we let it get to us).

Speaking of USCIS, I think they probably do the best they can with the resources they have. Everyone wants fees to remain low but processing time to be short, how far would you go? I mean if USCIS offered an express service for double the cost but with 1/2 the processing time how popular would it be?

Regarding CJ, yep she's approaching her 20th birthday and even though her transition to young adult hit some potholes we've come through it as a family and I couldn't be more proud of her. Same goes for Anna's transition to "Life in America"

Edited December 6, 2011 by Bob 4 Anna

[Glyn and Kathy 288]

Well....Glyn bought me first, since I went to the UK to live first. Then he came here....and now...I'm heading back there. That's three different immigration routes we've embarked on, damn its getting awfully expensive!!!

[BobnCherry 10]

Maybe the woman is free in the U.S. but they get you with the VAT when leaving .......... later

On the other note, yup its for sure costly but what gets me the most is the loooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnggggggggggggg flight!

Yea no kiddin my butt still has the 777 seat imprint on it gawd what an awfully uncomfortable plane to fly in

[one...two...tree 2,762]

Tim, let's be honest here. Based on the photos of you and your lovely fiancee/wife, there's quite a bit of an age difference. So while you might feel better about not using a traditional international dating service, you managed to hook up with a woman who is considerably younger than you. And you have to ask yourself, why was it easier for you to get into a relationship with a younger woman who lived across the ocean than it was for you to have a relationship with someone local?

The reality is, there are dynamics to a Fil/Am courtship which factor into why you feel it is a financial investment of some kind. For example, it's uncommon to see bigger age gaps in conventional relationships. Even in the Philippines, it is uncommon. So, if an American male is middle-aged and is wanting to find a younger spouse, his options are limited, particularly if his income is not high. But if he expands his horizons and starts looking at poorer countries such as the Philippines, his chances are actually pretty good. However, it comes with a financial cost (travel, immigration, etc.).

How though, is that any different than if you had loads of money and drove around Newport Beach in your convertible BMW, hoping to attract a younger lady?

Edited December 6, 2011 by Mister Fancypants

[Tim/Mav 305]

I don't know about Alex 'buying' me - I had to import myself! Paid for the visa, plane fare, moving costs, I've bought all our bedding and furniture and I've also supported him pretty much since we were married (he was laid off two days after the ceremony).

I don't even count the two month's rent/food he paid himself before we were married, as I also paid off a large chunk of his credit cards.

I evidently got everything backwards...

Well, It starts out by asking for Lunch Money. Maybe a Allowance.

If you fall for that.

[Tim/Mav 305]

Tim, let's be honest here. Based on the photos of you and your lovely fiancee/wife, there's quite a bit of an age difference. So while you might feel better about not using a traditional international dating service, you managed to hook up with a woman who is considerably younger than you. And you have to ask yourself, why was it easier for you to get into a relationship with a younger woman who lived across the ocean than it was for you to have a relationship with someone local?

The reality is, there are dynamics to a Fil/Am courtship which factor into why you feel it is a financial investment of some kind. For example, it's uncommon to see bigger age gaps in conventional relationships. Even in the Philippines, it is uncommon. So, if an American male is middle-aged and is wanting to find a younger spouse, his options are limited, particularly if his income is not high. But if he expands his horizons and starts looking at poorer countries such as the Philippines, his chances are actually pretty good. However, it comes with a financial cost (travel, immigration, etc.).

How though, is that any different than if you had loads of money and drove around Newport Beach in your convertible BMW, hoping to attract a younger lady?

I can be easily honest with that question. Several occasions with Mav I tried to breck it off due to the age difference. It totally bugged me. Still does in a way. I was never looking for anyone when I met Mav, and 2 years went by just as friends on My-Space. It was not immediate Love at first site. Soon, I began to talk to her more. The more I talked to her the more guilty I felt about the age difference. Mav could tell you Countless stories about my reaction to this. Mav maybe younger than me and I never meant to fall in love with her. But she grew on me. I could easily find a woman here in the States but that is not what I will do. I focus on Mav and stay true to her since there is no other.

And as the Topic States: I'm willing to pay whatever to make that happen.

Edited December 6, 2011 by Tim/Mav

[one...two...tree 2,762]

I can be easily honest with that question. Several occasions with Mav I tried to breck it off due to the age difference. It totally bugged me. Still does in a way. I was never looking for anyone when I met Mav, and 2 years went by just as friends on My-Space. It was not immediate Love at first site. Soon, I began to talk to her more. The more I talked to her the more guilty I felt about the age difference. Mav could tell you Countless stories about my reaction to this. Mav maybe younger than me and I never meant to fall in love with her.

But that's the dynamic of most Fil/Am relationships on this site and yours is no exception, regardless of the circumstances of how your relationship began. She's from a poor country that has a high number of younger women being open to relationships with older, American men. Had she been raised in the states, but still ethnically Filipino, it'd be a different story.

IMO, there is little difference between most Fil/Am relationships and the types of courtships between financially well off, older, American men and their younger spouses. The income ratio is the key factor.

[Tim/Mav 305]

But that's the dynamic of most Fil/Am relationships on this site and yours is no exception, regardless of the circumstances of how your relationship began. She's from a poor country that has a high number of younger women being open to relationships with older, American men. Had she been raised in the states, but still ethnically Filipino, it'd be a different story.

IMO, there is little difference between most Fil/Am relationships and the types of courtships between financially well off, older, American men and their younger spouses. The income ratio is the key factor.

So, your OPINION Is: That every Pinay with an American did it for THE INCOME RATIO. Well, you tell Mav that and all the other Pinays. You insulted alot of people by that statement, but its a grain of Salt to me.

Did we ride the Short Bus together in School.