Feeling of Solitude in a K-1 Engagement

[baron555 934]

Yet I have all of these women replying. I know we all have these feelings sometimes, even us men. I just talked with Nastya, she says that I should just go to sleep and I'll feel better in the morning - So true

I am the petitioner (male) waiting for my fiance, Anastasia, who will be leaving her friends and family.

Skype is your goof friend in these times.

Are you compiling your documents you need to send her for the interview? Have you checked out the new online payment method and interview scheduling feature at the Moscow Embassy? Do you have a cosponsor lined up already? There is a lot you can do now and should be doing now to plan for her arrival; you think you have no time now....wait until she comes here. You will need to expend a lot more energy to help her to live here.

Come on over to the Russia-Ukraine-Belarus regional forum where you will meet very nice folks, some though the process and others like yourselves.

There is a lot of RUB specific stuff you can find out about over there.

[shannonn55 0]

So, as many of us here probably are in, or have been in long distance engagements, sometimes I just feel like I'm completely alone. Is this feeling normal? How to cope or manage these feelings? I work full time, and I'm at school full time. I spend some time with my family, but every night I am usually alone. I don't have much of a social life right now, which would probably help, but I still have this feeling of solitary confinement when I come home...

Thank you for this post. Many of us here are feeling the same way. I don't think anyone who hasn't gone through this process can fully understand what it is like, and so it is very helpful that we are able to share our feelings here. I am almost 5 months waiting for NOA2, and every day that passes with no word gets more difficult. Weekends are especially tough, as you know there is no progress on the Visa front, and it's generally family time. I try to stay busy, but my life is on hold until I get this Visa. And I am lonely for my mate. I give myself pep talks every day, but I'm running out of steam. Thanks again for your thoughtful post.

[Scafidi454 22]

Skype is your goof friend in these times.

Are you compiling your documents you need to send her for the interview? Have you checked out the new online payment method and interview scheduling feature at the Moscow Embassy? Do you have a cosponsor lined up already? There is a lot you can do now and should be doing now to plan for her arrival; you think you have no time now....wait until she comes here. You will need to expend a lot more energy to help her to live here.

Come on over to the Russia-Ukraine-Belarus regional forum where you will meet very nice folks, some though the process and others like yourselves.

There is a lot of RUB specific stuff you can find out about over there.

What documents for her interview are you talking about? Bank Statements, Affidavit of Support, ...? I have all the bank statements that I need, I meet the guidelines for the affidavit of support, and I'm not sure what else I'll need to get for her.

Co-sponsor? I don't think I need one, or have one available.

What online payment/scheduling feature at the embassy?

[Donna & Paul 4]

Paul and I both feel very lonely sometimes but it helps that we give each other pep talks and encouragement. We speak every day, multiple times a day, but that just isn't the same. We keep reminding each other that it won't be much longer now, certainly not as long as it has been. Keep the lines of communication open and be honest about how you feel. It does seem to go in cycles, with the loneliness always there, just sometimes with more intensity than others.

Keep your family and friends close and try not to isolate yourself. That only adds to your loneliness. As was suggested before, do some kind of project - on your own or with your partner. Keep busy.

Try to remember that this is a course for your life you chose. You chose your partner and while it may be difficult now, it will all be worth it. This part is only temporary. I have to remind myself(and Paul has to remind me) that this too shall pass.

[Sapphire Moon 25]

The fact that we have LDR has made us extremely creative people when dealing with things. I feel that, as strange as this may seem, Jack and I have acquired a tool set to deal with anything life will throw at us in the future and it's an encouraging thought

I very much agree with this statement!!!

[Dan & Jenni 457]

alcohol and cheap women... works for me

[Brit Abroad 166]

Yet I have all of these women replying. I know we all have these feelings sometimes, even us men. I just talked with Nastya, she says that I should just go to sleep and I'll feel better in the morning - So true

I am the petitioner (male) waiting for my fiance, Anastasia, who will be leaving her friends and family.

Ah, well, in that case you can think of ways to integrate your beautiful lady into your life, and find activities that will make her feel less homesick.

Ask her for her favourite cooking recipes so you can find ingredients locally. Visit with YOUR friends and family and reestablish any broken connections, so there are more people for her to mix with when she arrives. Having a buffer of people who aren't "strangers" to both of you will help her find a "society" for the period that she can't work. Family tend to accept you with fewer conditions and are prepared to make more effort to help a new member fit in.

Write her a book of your life experiences and when she arrives update it with your coupledom. It will be an interesting way for her to learn about your past/childhood and eventually you'll probably have children and it will be a beautiful memento for them to keep. Traditionally a female activity, but sometimes men have a very nice way with words and make better authors.

Check if your local libraries have foreign language books available, or can get hold of them. If not, see if Anastasia would be interested in a kindle or something that allows her to read in her native tongue. Sometimes it's comforting not to have to think about translating everything, no matter how fluent one is in English. It also allows her to "keep a little piece of home" with her.

Are there any Russian communities in your area that you could join? Do you speak her language? How about taking a course before she arrives, that'd keep you busy and, of course, you'd have a willing helper to correct any mistakes when you practise on her!

Stop and consider what you'd like assistance with if you were moving abroad. Then think about how it could be made easier and you'll find ways to occupy your time, during which you're working towards making your bride happier.

Ignore those people who say that marriage is overrated. Marriage is what you choose to make it and, sadly, there are too many people out there who seem to expect a relationship to be perfect without wanting to make any effort. With love and good will on both sides, you'll build a long and happy life together.

PS This is a frustrating process, but it will end. We just celebrated our 3rd wedding anniversary and I STILL remember how hard it was waiting on the mailman and wishing USCIS would work faster. Hang in there, your day will come!

[baron555 934]

What documents for her interview are you talking about? Bank Statements, Affidavit of Support, ...? I have all the bank statements that I need, I meet the guidelines for the affidavit of support, and I'm not sure what else I'll need to get for her.

Co-sponsor? I don't think I need one, or have one available.

What online payment/scheduling feature at the embassy?

See....there are things you should be doing besides being lonley. Go to the RUB forum and get learned. Go to the Moscow Embassy forum and figure out which forms she will be sent via the mail (and if she doesn't get them she/you can download them off the website).

Do you have sufficient income? Besides the 134 form and all the supporting documents, you'll need to send an updated letter of intent and one of your entire copies of the K-1 petition that you mailed into USCIS.

You have time, it's only been two months, figure about 5 to 6 to go until interview.

The online scheduling is brand new for Moscow; come to the RUB forum, you'll find recent threads discussing and outlining how it works.

Edited December 5, 2011 by baron555

[Scafidi454 22]

See....there are things you should be doing besides being lonley. Go to the RUB forum and get learned. Go to the Moscow Embassy forum and figure out which forms she will be sent via the mail (and if she doesn't get them she/you can download them off the website).

Do you have sufficient income? Besides the 134 form and all the supporting documents, you'll need to send an updated letter of intent and one of your entire copies of the K-1 petition that you mailed into USCIS.

You have time, it's only been two months, figure about 5 to 6 to go until interview.

The online scheduling is brand new for Moscow; come to the RUB forum, you'll find recent threads discussing and outlining how it works.

I really hope 5 or 6 more months is the absolute worst case scenario!

[baron555 934]

I really hope 5 or 6 more months is the absolute worst case scenario!

Nope it's the average, from the timelines above. You're two months in and the average 7 months from NOA1 to Interview. It may be a little sooner or it could be later. I'd plan for interview in about 5 months from a week ago. The Moscow Embassy will slow down a bit over the holidays because being USCs, they will celebrate the Dec 25 Christmas and being in Russia they will also celebrate, as you know, the New Year to January 6 Orthodox Christmas (as you know everyone in Russia does).

[Austramerican 83]

Awwww that means Christmas + Boxing Day for me Are there any other holidays I need to watch out for?

[baron555 934]

Awwww that means Christmas + Boxing Day for me Are there any other holidays I need to watch out for?

March 8, International Women's Day

[Austramerican 83]

March 8, International Women's Day

If they want to celebrate that they can send me my man!!!

[Kehinde 45]

My friends have even told that he will change once he gets here I have heard some horror stories about how people was treated after they finally arrived. I have seen some situations too. A lot of them even got deported back home after their spouse reported that they had been used. But even though I have heard all that ..My loyalty still stands behind my man . So be strong and no that if the lords sends him to you then it was meant to be,and if he doesn't then its the best thing for you. I will keep you in my prayers.

[at long last 58]

My friends have even told that he will change once he gets here I have heard some horror stories about how people was treated after they finally arrived. I have seen some situations too. A lot of them even got deported back home after their spouse reported that they had been used. But even though I have heard all that ..My loyalty still stands behind my man . So be strong and no that if the lords sends him to you then it was meant to be,and if he doesn't then its the best thing for you. I will keep you in my prayers.

There will ALWAYS be horror stories but only you know the strengths and weaknesses of each other and your relationship. Don't let those stand in your way. I know ours is not the same as any others.

Terri