Filipino Attitudes

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

LOL! I had the same experience with several Pinay I thought were my friends. I confronted 1 of the 3. I asked why they were treating me badly. She answered, "because they are jealous of you".

Before I arrived in America, my husband contacted the archdiocese and identified several Filipina "plugged in" to the local Filipino community. All of them warned my husband and I to watch out and be careful. One of the ladies even advised hubby ko to discourage me making friends with Filipinas. When we asked why, she answered "because most of them will make trouble with tsismis and back stabbing. She said that "most are crazy competitive and crazy jealous."

Filipino nga naman...

The wife had a large circle of friends in the Philippines. When she came here, most of them cut her off. Well, not all of them...the ones wanting her to find a Kano for them still stayed in contact. One "friend" that is married with kids, stills want to marry an American to be with her mother who lives in California. I suppose the desperate ones are still hoping, and the jealous ones are just being mean.

[A and T 82]

Ive learned when asked about job, money, or how much something costs to just avoid the topic all together, and dont talk about it. Sometimes people are trying to see how much money you have in hopes of asking to borrow some. So just keep money matters private

[kev_n_jena 89]

LOL! I had the same experience with several Pinay I thought were my friends. I confronted 1 of the 3. I asked why they were treating me badly. She answered, "because they are jealous of you".

Before I arrived in America, my husband contacted the archdiocese and identified several Filipina "plugged in" to the local Filipino community. All of them warned my husband and I to watch out and be careful. One of the ladies even advised hubby ko to discourage me making friends with Filipinas. When we asked why, she answered "because most of them will make trouble with tsismis and back stabbing. She said that "most are crazy competitive and crazy jealous."

Filipino nga naman...

Yep, I agree that can be true sometimes. We had a birthday party a couple years ago and invited a bunch of Filipinos to our house for lechon. We didn't realize that there were two groups of ladies that attended who didn't get along with each other very well. I guess they were very competitive. Since then, we just try to stay out of the drama.

[BJZags 17]

Asking the price of my computer, our sofa, my watch, how many bedroom we have in our house.

It maybe the culture, but I've also noticed that not only do they (Filipinas) talk openly about how much possessions cost, but they also freely discuss how much they and their husbands make for a living. Americans generally NEVER discuss salaries and such, keeping these details private.

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

Yep, I agree that can be true sometimes. We had a birthday party a couple years ago and invited a bunch of Filipinos to our house for lechon. We didn't realize that there were two groups of ladies that attended who didn't get along with each other very well. I guess they were very competitive. Since then, we just try to stay out of the drama.

Oh, yeah! That is why I avoid the Filipino American Community Center. There are at least two organizations that use the building, along with another group that manages the center. The Filipino thing of, "If you are not my ally, you are my enemy," along with the required drama necessary to protest even most minor of slights, is tiresome. Well, that along with the squatter mentality of many of the attendees during community events. If the event starts at noon, they will begin arriving at 11:00 am to stake out their territories, even though most of their group won't arrive until much later. And parking! It is insane! They park everywhere, and when the Sheriff and the Highway Patrol arrive to relieve the congestion, they have to find and drag each driver out to their vehicles to have them moved.

[Rocky_nBullwinkle 6]

1. Arrogant, pompous or boastful is what you call someone you don't like. What arrogant to you maybe just be fine ok, fun, confident or simply intimidating to somebody else.

2. They may have been surrounded by "pompous" people too and kinda adapted that attitude.

3. Because when they come back to the Philippines, people here kisses their a$$.

4. It could be a defense mechanism because they avoid money bloodsuckers.

Unless your relatives are also well off, then there's not much to worry. When you come for a visit, they are really sincerely there to see you and not after your pasalubong but if you are the only loaded one, expect plastic people that if you are not giving them something anymore- you suddenly become arrogant but some months ago, you are their hero.

This topic is a cliche. Been there, done that, got the stains on the t-shirt to prove it. Suck it up. Filipinos have been like that since time immemorial. I am not surprised anymore if they act pompous, arrogant and conceited.

[Crashed~N2~Me 970]

LOL! I had the same experience with several Pinay I thought were my friends. I confronted 1 of the 3. I asked why they were treating me badly. She answered, "because they are jealous of you".

Before I arrived in America, my husband contacted the archdiocese and identified several Filipina "plugged in" to the local Filipino community. All of them warned my husband and I to watch out and be careful. One of the ladies even advised hubby ko to discourage me making friends with Filipinas. When we asked why, she answered "because most of them will make trouble with tsismis and back stabbing. She said that "most are crazy competitive and crazy jealous."

Filipino nga naman...

Soooo...sweetheart ...are you glad I "networked" you into the local FilAm community?

Wasn't it an effective way to help you adjust to "life in America"?

Is it much different than what you/we experienced in the PI? All the people we met that were ONLY interested in "friendship".

("can I borrow"?, "I like it. Give that to me..you have plenty"!, "where's my pasalubong"? "I'm asking for Pasko!", "I'm shy to ask but I have an emergency" "You are mabait so I know you will help me", "I'm so happy we found each other again..I need to ask a favor", "halot", "koriput" .phew....on and on and on)

[CMAGR8DX 0]

It maybe the culture, but I've also noticed that not only do they (Filipinas) talk openly about how much possessions cost, but they also freely discuss how much they and their husbands make for a living. Americans generally NEVER discuss salaries and such, keeping these details private.

Sooo True

[CMAGR8DX 0]

("can I borrow"?, "I like it. Give that to me..you have plenty"!, "where's my pasalubong"? "I'm asking for Pasko!", "I'm shy to ask but I have an emergency" "You are mabait so I know you will help me", "I'm so happy we found each other again..I need to ask a favor", "halot", "koriput" .phew....on and on and on)

WOW!!! You just described my "after Thanksgiving chat" with some of the fam....

omg!... were you there too?!

[SuperDuper! 230]

This topic is a cliche. Been there, done that, got the stains on the t-shirt to prove it. Suck it up. Filipinos have been like that since time immemorial. I am not surprised anymore if they act pompous, arrogant and conceited.

Sounds like another topic all together. If you dare to elaborate on it, it sounds like an award winning thread, LOL!

[~happyndinlove~ 540]

Soooo...sweetheart ...are you glad I "networked" you into the local FilAm community?

Sure I did honey. For a week.

Wasn't it an effective way to help you adjust to "life in America"?

Hmmm... nope. It wasn't. Not at all.

Is it much different than what you/we experienced in the PI? All the people we met that were ONLY interested in "friendship".

("can I borrow"?, "I like it. Give that to me..you have plenty"!, "where's my pasalubong"? "I'm asking for Pasko!", "I'm shy to ask but I have an emergency" "You are mabait so I know you will help me", "I'm so happy we found each other again..I need to ask a favor", "halot", "koriput" .phew....on and on and on)

On this part, well... I'm not sure which one is worse. In the PI, it was face to face or via text. Now, the request comes via emails from "long lost friends" asking to borrow thousands to hundreds of thousandsPhp for their "emergencies".

( Sorry for late response honey but, I was pissed at you yesterday. )

Edited December 5, 2011 by ~happyndinlove~

[rheanick 42]

It maybe the culture, but I've also noticed that not only do they (Filipinas) talk openly about how much possessions cost, but they also freely discuss how much they and their husbands make for a living. Americans generally NEVER discuss salaries and such, keeping these details private.

Yup, some like to discuss salaries and how much money they make.

Funny experience:

I dont really like telling my background or my financial status. I meet this filipina in a party, she asked what i do, i told her that im a housewife. Its funny how she looks snobbish. And when i told her that the director in their company is a friend of mine, she told me that directorship is a common position in their company. Her comment made my night, though i could not really laugh out loud. I did a little digging and realized that she is a travel agent in the company where my friend is working. And i think i understand where she is coming from. She got a position that has no priority and just lashing out on those innocent victim that she thinks lower than her.

Anyway, in my opinion, the higher than thou attitude basically rooted on the insecurities of the person. And as other mention, its not limited to filipinas.

[Crashed~N2~Me 970]

Hmmm... nope. It wasn't. Not at all.

Really?

I thought it made you feel right at home. Like the only thing that changed was your zip code.

On this part, well... I'm not sure which one is worse. In the PI, it was face to face or via text. Now, the request comes via emails from "long lost friends" asking to borrow thousands to hundreds of thousandsPhp for their "emergencies".

They did promise to pay back the loan.

( Sorry for late response honey but, I was pissed at you yesterday. )

Yea..yesterday was a real bummer.

[Kang 22]

Sure I did honey. For a week.

Hmmm... nope. It wasn't. Not at all.

On this part, well... I'm not sure which one is worse. In the PI, it was face to face or via text. Now, the request comes via emails from "long lost friends" asking to borrow thousands to hundreds of thousandsPhp for their "emergencies".

( Sorry for late response honey but, I was pissed at you yesterday. )

Know what my well to do cousins in the Philippines, when I was still in the Philippines acted as if they don't know me even if we went to the same school. When they heard I am moving to the US, they suddenly know me and even invited me to one of our cousin's despideda. Hahahaha.

[dantespal 7]

I had a lot of friends who worked for DODEA on the bases in the Philippines, got married back in the day, and eventually returned to the Philippines to retire. In almost all of the cases, being away from the country made the wives realize how backwards, inefficient, etc. that things in the PI really are. You don't recognize the water that you are swimming in until you've swam in some other water. None of these women were arrogant or had bad attitudes. They just came to expect more from people than is often available in the Philippines.

Most also still helped their families as much as possible. But they were tougher about it because they now realized how much work that western money cost. It wasn't growing on trees anymore once they had seen what it was like to earn a living in the west.

That said, i think that what you are describing is also these people's chance to show their old friends how important and big they are. In the west, they are probably not special in the least. But with dollars in their pockets, they seem to think that they've grown a great pesonality.