8 weeks pregnant, Can I divorce and go back home?

[missyouhoney 1]

Firstly, yes you can divorce, and no, no one can make you stay because no crime has been comitted.

However, 5 months is NOT a long time (relatively speaking). From what you say, there is no abuse happening. Have you talked with him to let him know how you're feeling? Perhaps he doesn't realize he's driving you crazy. I know that after being away from my fiance for so long and only picturing him perfectly, sometimes when we're finally together again little things he does drive me nuts. Luckily these are easy to resolve. Have you tried to make friends in your town? I'm sure being pregnant puts added pressure onto the situation. In my opinion (and this is ONLY my opinion), I would stay and try to work it out with your husband -join local Spanish clubs, meet people, make friends, try and build a support network where you live. Finish out the K1 process since you are so close to getting a green card etc -you can always decide to leave afterwards, but at least you will have the option to return to the US if you've gone to Spain to clear your head. As of now, you are married and pregnant -your life is not just about you.

You said you felt unsure about the marriage before you moved to the US. Was your fiance aware of your ambivilance? Because I'm trying to put my place in his position: He petitioned (a lot of time, money and heartache -just like you) to bring you to the US, his wife is now pregnant and considering leaving with the baby to another country. I would assume he would be devastated especially if he didn't know about your ambivilance and thought you were 100% in the relationship from the beginning. Moving back to Spain will NOT make this go away. If you leave without resolving the situation, this will be with you for the next 18 years.

Good luck, I hope you make the right decision

Thank you all for ur answers.

I´ve tried to talk to my husband about how his actions and words make feel but all I got is insults. I´m tired of a man who: was distant during the 12 months that the Fiancé Visa took, tells me that he´s going to work very hard for his new boss and that he´s going to protect him as family, talks to her ex-girlfriend, who writes songs to his other ex-girlfriend to whom he feels so bad cos he hurt her a lot when they were 18 ( he´s 34 now), who critizes my carreer ( I´m a school teacher!....), who criticizes and makes fun of my spiritual and political views,and who, topped it all with ruining my birthday by giving me a hard time ( yesterday). I´ve tolerated a lot. I´m taking this no more.

[Crashed~N2~Me 970]

Thank you all for ur answers.

I´ve tried to talk to my husband about how his actions and words make feel but all I got is insults. I´m tired of a man who: was distant during the 12 months that the Fiancé Visa took, tells me that he´s going to work very hard for his new boss and that he´s going to protect him as family, talks to her ex-girlfriend, who writes songs to his other ex-girlfriend to whom he feels so bad cos he hurt her a lot when they were 18 ( he´s 34 now), who critizes my carreer ( I´m a school teacher!....), who criticizes and makes fun of my spiritual and political views,and who, topped it all with ruining my birthday by giving me a hard time ( yesterday). I´ve tolerated a lot. I´m taking this no more.

I apoloize if the question (I am about to ask) offends you but...,

Does your husband use/take drugs or alcohol?

Serious question...bcoz...he seems to behave as a stoner or a drunk ...or both.

Edited December 11, 2011 by Crashed~N2~Me

[VanessaTony 3,567]

I apoloize if the question (I am about to ask) offends you but...,

Does your husband use/take drugs or alcohol?

Serious question...bcoz...he seems to behave as a stoner or a drunk ...or both.

Not necessarily. We're looking at one side of the story. Nothing she said he's done implies drug/alcohol abuse. We could also be talking about an emotional irrational pregnant woman who sees things that aren't there. Who starts fights. Cultural difference could mean what she says are insults to her career are actually insults to the teaching opportunities in their area and how she deserves better. The insult of her political and spiritual views... could just be him disagreeing with her. Some people take those sorts of views very seriously and take the slightest difference in view as an insult.

If she doesn't want to "put up with it" that's entirely up to her. That doesn't make him a bad person, or her, just makes them incompatible.

[Crashed~N2~Me 970]

Not necessarily.

Hence the question.

who writes songs to his other ex-girlfriend to whom he feels so bad cos he hurt her a lot when they were 18 ( he´s 34 now),

A 34 year old writing songs about his 18 year old ex...sounds like a stoner drunk to me...Unless your a Richards or Jagger wannabe you don't write... hmmmmm...wait a sec...Richards is a well known drug abuser... ...I'm definitely recognizing a behavior similarity.

[VanessaTony 3,567]

Hence the question.

A 34 year old writing songs about his 18 year old ex...sounds like a stoner drunk to me...Unless your a Richards or Jagger wannabe you don't write... hmmmmm...wait a sec...Richards is a well known drug abuser... ...I'm definitely recognizing a behavior similarity.

Or, he could be an artist who is drawing on the only pain he remembers strongly... there are lots of explanations but I don't jump to drugs.

[Crashed~N2~Me 970]

Or, he could be an artist who is drawing on the only pain he remembers strongly... there are lots of explanations but I don't jump to drugs.

(shrugs) OK..don't jump...me...I'm banking on bong hits until the OP states otherwise.