8 weeks pregnant, Can I divorce and go back home?

[missyouhoney 1]

So we´ve been married for 5 months but I can´t stand him anymore. I had my doubts but still came, married, and made a baby with him. I know it was a mistake but I don´t want to make more mistakes. I want to go back home ( Europe) where I feel safe and loved. I don´t want to send the wrong message, he´s not hitting me. I´m not interested in a Green Card nor nothing, I just want to go home and have my baby there with my family.

My question is: Can I get a divorce? Can the law make me stay cos I´m pregnant with his baby?

Thank you.

ERRATA: I MEANT -WEEKS- NOT -MONTHS- PREGNANT.

Edited December 1, 2011 by missyouhoney

[happywife 4]

you can go back to your home any time, no one could stop you. but divorce needs time to finish. you can divorce him in usa or in europe.

[gwenneh 7]

Yes, you can get a divorce; no, no one can make you stay here if you want to go.

[VanessaTony 3,567]

No-one can make you stay. If you want to divorce him that's fine. You can divorce him here, or file divorce once you're back in your home country.

On the child front - You are pregnant and he has a legal right to that child. I've been reading that he CAN try and gain custody (shared or otherwise) of the child. The child will be a USC because the father is a USC. Whether he WILL do this I can't tell you but Spain (your country flag says Spain) is a Hague country. This is something you should explore before you leave and give up your GC for good.

Here's a thread online about it: http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20071009003522AAtTa4Q

Edited December 1, 2011 by Vanessa&Tony

[Ontarkie 14,221]

Divorce when you are home, make a reasonable visitation plan for the father and child. Yes you can leave any time but after the baby is born the father could stop you from taking the child with you.

[feli114 65]

Sometimes hormones can make you crazy. I would give it a little time until after you have the baby to make a decision like that.

[Darnell 8,478]

I say get on a plane this weekend, file for divorce in Spain on Monday.

Good Luck to You !

[Liz Alvarado 3]

I say get on a plane this weekend, file for divorce in Spain on Monday.

Good Luck to You !

Te sugiero que esperes despues que tu bebe venga al mundo,en el embarazo se atraviesan etapas frustrantes que es algo mas que normal por el cambio de hormonas,date un tiempo para que arregles tus problemas y quizas se mejore tu matrimonio los hijos cambian muchas veces a los padres,te lo digo por experiencia!!! Deseo Dios te de sabiduria y todo te salga bien Dios te Bendiga

[Darnell 8,478]

Deseo Dios te de sabiduria y todo te salga bien Dios te Bendiga

That's very kind of you, but I never rely on Him, as He gave us Humans free will.

Free Will covers a lot of bullsh|te, always.

[cardigans5 43]

If you don't want to be with him fine...but to leave and take his baby won't happen. First its morally wrong that you would want to do that and unless he let's you it won't happen. See if he wants the child...if he does then have the baby then leave. But to take his child you should be ashamed.

[milimelo 4,477]

Te sugiero que esperes despues que tu bebe venga al mundo,en el embarazo se atraviesan etapas frustrantes que es algo mas que normal por el cambio de hormonas,date un tiempo para que arregles tus problemas y quizas se mejore tu matrimonio los hijos cambian muchas veces a los padres,te lo digo por experiencia!!! Deseo Dios te de sabiduria y todo te salga bien Dios te Bendiga

Please use English in the upper forum - you can use other languages in regional forums.

Thank you.

[at long last 58]

If you don't want to be with him fine...but to leave and take his baby won't happen. First its morally wrong that you would want to do that and unless he let's you it won't happen. See if he wants the child...if he does then have the baby then leave. But to take his child you should be ashamed.

you can't judge her you don't walk in her shoes. Only she knows if she wants to stay. All she asked was can she divorce even though she is pregnant.

The answer. yes she can.

[xxxwabbiexxx 70]

I will advise you as I would any female friend of mine OK. I'll start by saying I do not agree with what you are planning, its morally wrong!!

If you had doubts about the marriage, why the hell are you having a baby?????? You are now bringing a poor innocent child in to a mess!!!!!

I would say if you are 100% sure you want to leave your husband, I would do it sooner rather than later. No proof or knowledge of this (just a thought) but if your husband wants this baby there may be ways such as court orders that he can get to stop you leaving.

Is there no way you can try at the marriage? I'm sure you've invested a lot of emotion, time, money and energy into the whole process, surely its worth giving it a go.

Can you not embark on a life in America by yourself but near you husband??

Do you want you child at 18 hating you because YOU removed the chance it had of knowing its father properly?? You really having lots of thinking to do and I urge you to be an adult about the whole thing and not a selfish child.

Best of luck, I do feel for you being in this situation because I'm sure its not nice - just please do the right thing.

Edited December 2, 2011 by xxxwabbiexxx

[Answerseeker 77 2]

If you don't want to be with him fine...but to leave and take his baby won't happen. First its morally wrong that you would want to do that and unless he let's you it won't happen. See if he wants the child...if he does then have the baby then leave. But to take his child you should be ashamed.

Too bad! The baby is not born yet.. so she has the freedom to go wherever she wants to.. but when the baby is born he has something to say about it......

[Helen Louise Pile 80]

If you don't want to be with him fine...but to leave and take his baby won't happen. First its morally wrong that you would want to do that and unless he let's you it won't happen. See if he wants the child...if he does then have the baby then leave. But to take his child you should be ashamed.

You have no idea what this woman's relationship is, so please don't judge.

OP:

You are only 8 weeks pregnant so you have time. Have you started working yet here in the US? Coming on a K1 and waiting for AOS is tough on your relationship and your feeling of independence and self worth. Many here know that. Can you wait for AP and take a trip home to visit your family to clear your head? Can you go to counselling with your husband and try to figure something out? What does he think about the situation? Does he want to work things out?

I wish you all the best. Please ignore the nonsense some people have posted. Your baby will not hate you when it is 18 because you left the father. That is just ridiculous and rude. What ever you choose will be for the best.

Divorce and leaving the US is a big decision. Make sure it's the right one for you if that's what you choose.

Take care,

Helen