Devastated -Update for my post about my Stepdaughter and HUbby

[happyblessedme 12]

To all those who replied and took time to reply my post"Desperately Needs Help".I would like to say thank you all so much for your words.

Update: I just talked to my husband again tonight and his final word is he is not kicking his daughter out.SO i said to him ok then i have to move out with my kids.

I was so devastated coz he act like he is choosing his 25 y.o daughter in exchange for our 3 yr. old son and my two minor kids.

I was so hurt and can't help but cry coz it is very clear to me that he cares more about his daughter than his wife and child.

I am so confused now coz if i hav eto move out he said since he is not working.. he will have the custody of our 3 yr old son and i will end up paying him child support since am the one employed>

I can not live without our 3 yr. old son plus my two minor kids. What should I do? Please help.

Edited December 1, 2011 by happyblessedme

[hikergirl 277]

Talk to a lawyer. Knowledge is power and knowing where you stand will be the best thing for you.

I feel he is trying to scare you into staying by saying he will get custody of the son and get child support.

[at long last 58]

Hi There

I'm curious then what happens to that I-864 contract with the government. It doesn't ask anything about the new person to the country to be responsible for the petitioner. Really what is his legal responsibility?

Please could some one inform me on this issue.

Terri

what a sad state of affairs.

[VanessaTony 3,567]

I am so confused now coz if i hav eto move out he said since he is not working.. he will have the custody of our 3 yr old son and i will end up paying him child support since am the one employed>

It's unlikely that they'll give him SOLE custody but you will need to have a lawyer to explain why physical custody with you is better. I personally recommend bringing up the fact that living with the 25 y/o and her behaviour being a bad influence on your children and that was the only reason for you moving out. That he is a good parent, and you have no objection to him seeing the child but they cannot be around the bad influence on a permanent basis. Just because a parent isn't working doesn't mean anything. I don't know what his health situation is (and i hate to bring it up) but if he's unable to work how is he going to look after a 3 y/o himself? He might try and bring up his non-working daughter who will help out which is why you need to make sure you mention that YOU were raising her child as well, that she's an irresponsible parent (consider contacting children's services about her).

You need a lawyer. That's the only way to get this started properly. Sit down and have a consultation (often the first one is free) to discuss your options.

[mapletree 33]

One way to look at this is you are making him choose. And if someone made such a demand from me, then I would not submit to their demands.

I suggest family counseling.

I also suggest that you need to look at your relationship with your husband's family, all of it, as mutual. If there are problems, they are partly your fault. It takes two people to fight.

[happyblessedme 12]

One way to look at this is you are making him choose. And if someone made such a demand from me, then I would not submit to their demands.

I suggest family counseling.

I also suggest that you need to look at your relationship with your husband's family, all of it, as mutual. If there are problems, they are partly your fault. It takes two people to fight.

I wud suggest for u to read my other post if u have time. I never hada problem with my in laws, all of them are so wonderful to me and my kids.Never had a problem with my husband even whe n he lost his job till his daughter lives with us.

In my case am not giving my husband a choice..i was giving him a chance coz that's what i think i should do.

[happyblessedme 12]

Hi There

I'm curious then what happens to that I-864 contract with the government. It doesn't ask anything about the new person to the country to be responsible for the petitioner. Really what is his legal responsibility?

Please could some one inform me on this issue.

Terri

what a sad state of affairs.

I hope someone can help me with this issue as well.

[TeapotGirl 66]

It's unlikely that they'll give him SOLE custody but you will need to have a lawyer ............

[Kiv 32]

I just don't understand why all these guys think they can tell a woman that they will take their kids away but is harder for me to understand why the wifes believe it. See a lawyer, at least you will support only 4 persons not 7. Why didn't he talk to his daughter and convince her to find a job to help you with all the expenses, or does she takes care of the 4 kids while you are working?

[iwuvcheshert 6]

bless you, i hope that you would come to a peaceful resolution that you wouldnt wind up hurting each other..

[Crashed~N2~Me 970]

I wud suggest for u to read my other post if u have time. I never hada problem with my in laws, all of them are so wonderful to me and my kids.Never had a problem with my husband even whe n he lost his job till his daughter lives with us.

In my case am not giving my husband a choice..i was giving him a chance coz that's what i think i should do.

You should give him a good hard spanking.

I read your other thread. My wife suggested you "get even".

First, Let me say...Your husband is bluffing you. You..as an employed person and the mother of said child...have the upper hand in gaining custody. He will have to pay child support. (I am confident the court will order it even he is currently unemployed)

Second, His leveraging tactics are cowardly and despicable. It demonstrates he lacks character and backbone. That means he is vulnerable to your manipulations and leadership. Take charge...he has forfeited his role as steward.

Third, You indicate in your other thread..you desire to save your marriage. (if that's still the case then) I agree 100% with my wife. You need to stop giving him a chance to make the right choice. Take control of your future. Make his daughters life a nightmare. (but) Stay legal while doing it.

Rent the movie...War of the Roses. Packed full of good ideas.

Good luck.

Edited December 1, 2011 by Crashed~N2~Me

[RICARDO4EVA2 194]

I was so devastated coz he act like he is choosing his 25 y.o daughter in exchange for our 3 yr. old son and my two minor kids.

I was so hurt and can't help but cry coz it is very clear to me that he cares more about his daughter than his wife and child.

I am so confused now coz if i hav eto move out he said since he is not working.. he will have the custody of our 3 yr old son and i will end up paying him child support since am the one employed>

I can not live without our 3 yr. old son plus my two minor kids. What should I do? Please help.

He'll get custody ?? You said you are the one who is employed and that he isnt working so then why would he gain custody when he has no financial pull to suppose the child..?

[sheepp 2]

Hi, I am very sorry for what you are going through... but to be honest I see this from his perspective too and maybe he feels that it is not that he is choosing his 25yo daughter instead you and hte family, maybe he feels that his daughter is not who is making him choose between you or her, so he could take you as the one that wants to divide, even if you have all the reasons to ask him to do that, and I see u have. Maybe you should have a better and calmer talk with him without making him choose and just telling him how you feel and asking him for a solution instead of giving you the solution and asking him to accept it.

In the last case, you said he would have the custody in the case you two cant work this out? if you are working maybe would be possible for you to pay a babysitter or find a solution for the kids to stay while you are working, instead of everthing ending up in a scenario so unfair.

Wish you the best, and hope to hear good news from you soon

[Dan & Jenni 457]

dont let him bully or scare you in to anything. the chances of him getting custody of the child when he is unemployed and too sick to work is slim to none in my opinion. get a lawyer, tell him all about your husband and his daughter... and move on with your life.

good luck

[Channah&Aaron 51]

you can live apart, still be married, until his daughter moves out. I couldn't live with her under one roof either if I had to deal with that lazy woman. Hopefully your husband will see that you are serious about it. Don't break up or get a divorce. Hopefully things will work out between the two of you

Edited December 1, 2011 by Channah&Aaron