Living in UK or USA - second thoughts

[Redflame2012 32]

In my case I moved from the UK to the US - my husband's salary was higher than mine so it made sense.

However I miss the UK dreadfully and wished it had been possible for us to live there instead.

Moving to another country has been an absolute culture shock in every way possible, not to mention the separation feelings (bad ones)when family and friends are so far away.

Anyway, to anyone moving from the UK. Think it over. Think it over long and hard.

Live in the US for longer than the usual week or two. The longer the better. This will give you a realistic taste of how it will really be when the novelty wears off. Love is one thing but uprooting the only life you have even known, to live abroad is a

BIG risk. Ask yourself, what happens if this doesn't work out? Are you prepared to restart your life again, from scratch? The other person has less to 'lose' when they are in their home country...

[jingo 38]

The other person has less to 'lose' when they are in their home country...

Everything about this is true, but if it had worked the other way round, it would be your husband who would have to adjust to a whole new life. Either way its tough for someone. It is a long, hard wait until your new life feels 'settled'. I hope someday when I'm citizen-ized my SO and I can live between the States and the UK.

[Brother Hesekiel 2,236]

I am going to say something totally crazy here, but I really mean it.

Where I live is of utmost importance to me. There are about 6,800,000,000 people on this planet but only 195 countries. After having lived in a few of those and having seen a total of 32 so far, I can truly say that there are only 3 places on this globe where I would want to spend my life:

1) The greater area around Santa Barbara (where my wife and I live now)

2) Monte Carlo

3) The South of France.

There may be a few more places I could live in and live with, but not many. Life is too short to live somewhere where you don't want to be. That's why I first found the perfect place to live and then found a wife who shares this enthusiasm with me. I think that's extremely important.

Sure, it's great to be with that special person, but I'm sure there is at least a handful of such special persons in every town in every country on this planet. Six-point-eight billion people is a lot of people, so the options for a suitable spouse outweigh the options for a perfect place to live exponentially.

You could give me a playmate-looking woman with millions of dollars, super brains, super bod, but living in Alaska or Russia, and I wouldn't even need to think about it. Living where I want to live is more important than looks, brains, money, or anything, at least to me. I have only 25 years or so left in this lifetime, and I want to enjoy them. Nice weather and sunshine are essential to my happiness, at least as essential as the person I'm with. Getting married and intending to spend the rest of the life together is a package deal. Better make sure that you can live with the whole package, and don't despise part of it.

[Mark UK 3]

I emigrated to the States because my wife (then fiancee) had kids and it would have been much harder for her to leave her family behind than it was for me. Also, I had moved abroad twice before (both times to France) and already went through the pains, etc. The first time was definitely the hardest by a long way (not to say the other times weren't).

Of course, an ocean between you and your family is a lot scarier than having just a channel between you.

The cost of living over here is a lot cheaper - something you'll appreciate when you visit the UK as a tourist. As a tourist to the US, everything's so cheap, it's amazing. As a tourist to the UK, everything's so expensive, you worry incessantly about having the cash to enjoy yourself.

The job market sucks in the US right now, but with the resources the country has, it has more of a chance to improve than the UK does, IMHO. Personally, it was a no brainer. As much as I miss my family, friends and football, I definitely made the right decision.

It's a big jump - I'd hang fire on doing it until I was CERTAIN it was the right thing to do. I really wanted to move to the US and I still went through the usual adjustment pains, etc. Whereas I don't place quite the emphasis on where I live as Brother Hesekiel (I live in a place I don't particularly like and would much rather live in North Carolina but we can't move just yet due to family reasons), it is important that you're both willing to live in a place and one of you isn't there somewhat begrudgingly.

(As a tangent, I do agree entirely with Brother Hesekiel about the South of France. I loved living in the Cote d'Azur. The brilliant azure water in the foreground and the Alps in the background - amazing).

Edited December 30, 2011 by Mark UK

[Trompe le Monde 1,107]

I think I have seen more than a few people on VJ make the decision to move to another country to marry someone a little too lightly

[Pooky 3,787]

The biggest surprise to the other half has been how I haven't exhibited a single trace of homesickness. It has taken a while for it to sink in that I believe wherever my family to be as my home. Everything else is a secondary consideration.

Of course, it helps that BBC America shows Top Gear.

We, too, have our ideal place to live. The construction industry, however, is not so good for stable employment in this economic climate, more so when you are an import, bringing a different range of skills to the table than a native candidate. So, I go where the work is ... and have been fortunate enough to have been hired by employers familiar with my skill set. With two excellent references behind me, should I choose to move on from my current employer, it will be easier to find employment in, or close to, our desired location.

[* Kristin * 49]

Our situation's a bit different, I suppose... I actually moved to the UK for four years to be with my now-husband. We did the whole London thing for a while, and it was great, fun, wonderful, etc. and everything.... but ultimately, we looked at our lives.

The opportunity to earn more money was here in the US. We lived in London, so it was super expensive (lived in South Kensington).. and didn't want to move to the outskirts or to a village. We'd never be able to buy anything in London. Flats were ridiculous.

We both had good jobs there, too.

We made the decision to move to Los Angeles and haven't looked back. The US has more to offer us in the future - and my - we save SO MUCH MORE!

My fiance and I have our NOA2 but have recently been seriously considering living in the UK instead. Of course that would mean a new application, more wait time, and all that, but that's all secondary at this point.

Of course the job situation is pretty bad in Scotland, but it doesn't seem much better in the US.

How did you decide where to live between the USA and the UK? What were some considerations?

[scotinmass 588]

I've not regretted moving to the US. Life has been good and pretty easy so far. I love Scotland and miss the scenery and a few trivial things (like chip shops and real pubs) but there are so many things here that I can find as a substitute for anything I can't get here. We live just north of Boston and the way of life there and the people are pretty similar to the UK. I visited here about 10 times before I moved but never for more than a week and once just for a weekend. Diane had to work a lot of the days I visited so I went exploring on my own. I did a lot of walking and used every form of public transport. I'm not an adventurous person and don't like doing stuff on my own but I found it all so easy and similar to how things work at home that I never had a problem. I just felt comfortable and new I wouldn't have a problem living here.

If I want to see scenery similar to the Highlands of Scotland I have a 90 min drive to the White Mountains in New Hampshire. It is almost as good and there are far better roads than in the Highlands. This country is vast and has an abundance of beautiful places. With the proceeds of selling my house in Scotland we bought a weekend retreat in Maine. I am a big Stephen King fan and I discovered after we bought this place that he grew up and went to school a couple of miles away from here which is really cool!

The job market in the US is slow but I managed to get a job within a month. The company went out of business after 3 months but I managed to get another job literally the next day and have been working there for the last 18 months.

I planned to visit Scotland at least 4 times a year but in reality we only manage it once or twice a year. I don't really have the urge to go back more often.

The people in the New England area are generally very nice and friendly. I have been welcomed in both places I've worked. If things hadn't worked out so well for me then perhaps I would have missed Scotland a bit more but I don't think I would ever have regretted it.

Oh and on the topic of the weather. I never realised how depressing grey skies and rain were until I stopped living under them. Here it is VERY cold in the winter. We get a lot of snow usually but even still the sky is blue 90% of the time. The odd time it is grey and wet here I feel so gloomy I don't know how I could ever have lived like that!

[DiZZyLoX 114]

My husband experiences homesickness every year typically around the WINTER holidays...when mince pies, christmas puddings, christmas dinners and the like are really being missed. That time of year seems to be when we have our "well back in England.../You're in America now!" arguments come up the most. We live in Florida, though. And all that seems to fly out the window come February - September. It is absolutely positively beautiful and he can't believe he lives here. We beach it, surf, boat, fish, camp, trail ride, canoe, tour the springs, travel all over Florida. He can't get enough of it. You take the good with the bad, you know?

It's going to take some time, and some hard core adjusting. There will be things you just can't get here that you could get in the UK. Luckily, I've been able to find a good bit of British TV. I've come damn good at making poached eggs over beans and toast and my next skill to learn is the Sunday Roast. You just do the best you can and hope for the best. I'm hoping to do Christmas in England next year. I love my family to death but I just don't feel as homesickly about them as my husband does about his. I think i'd survive Christmas without them...he doesn't seem to feel the same way

[EV11 18]

I moved to the States (New York City) to be with my husband and I don't regret it one bit. In my opinion it is one of the most fantastic cities in the world, and as a young couple it has everything we could want. Apart from the price tag that comes with living here on one salary! The main reason for me moving to the States and not the other way round, was because he earned the far bigger salary and had full benefits. Whereas I'd just finished all my schooling. Up until arriving in August I haven't been feeling homesick at all, however when my family came to visit for Christmas and then went home I definitely felt the pangs of the "motherland". I particularly felt it when my best friends held their annual New Years Eve bash and I wasn't able to go. Like others have said, moving to another country is not a decision that should be made lightly. I am incredibly close with my family and friends and I get scared that one day I won't be as close to them. As their lives move along without me. I guess I will feel better when I start working and meet new people/friends. My husband often says he would love to move to England, and maybe we will one day. I think where we live depends on what life throws at us!

[flint35 0]

I moved here (daytona beach area) 8 years ago from the U.K, took me awhile to adjust but it was the best move i have ever made.I have no regreats leaving london and the quality of life here is far greater than there it just takes time to adjust,

.

I applied for citizenship 3 months ago and have my interview in Febuary which i am excited about,i would recommend the move to anyone with an open mind and the will to change there life style( hard working people only) need to apply as bank holidays are few and far between lol

[Robert&Karen 264]

I'm in southern California and it is 88 degrees on January 5th. If that is not reason enough I don't know what is!'