I'm so sad! And scared!!

[StellaB 0]

Hi Everyone,

So, I just had a huge fight with my husband and a week later I'm still shaking. Over the last 6 months he started a new business and it's not doing as well as he hoped. He takes it out on me, yelling and screaming. He's constantly putting me down. When I say that I want to start my own business, he laughs and acts like no one in the world is as smart as him and belittles my ideas. He's constantly telling me that I don't to anything right! I'm so tired of this life. I can't believe this is happening to me! I'm a strong woman but I've been beaten down so much by this man ( emotionally). I want to be free and divorce him. I want to do I- 751 with a waiver. Do I do a divorce waiver or a abuse waiver?

This is the evidence I have:

We have been married for 2.5 years and I got my GC end of last year.

- 2 lease agreements signed since AOS

- no tax return for 2010 but gave one for AOS of 2009

- bank account and statements since 2009

- utility bill ( water, gas, internet)

- letters in each of our names to our address

- pictures

- can get some affidavits from friends.

I'm so scared to leave. And so heartbroken.

[Peter_Pan 661]

Come on, be brave. Do you have some money aside? Someone you could stay with?

People react poorly to stress, I, for one, become insufferable, taking it out on people who are closest to me - both emotionally and physically. I suggest you leave him but also give him time to cool off and see the error of his ways - of course, if the previous 2 years were happy ones.

[VanessaTony 3,567]

Leave him, file for divorce and file ROC with a divorce waiver (the abuse is harder to prove).

How are you making him feel about his "failure"? Are you supporting him? Are you telling him it's all his fault? Are you finding ways to lower your spending so that he's not feeling the high financial stress? You offering business ideas at a time when he's failing could be seen by him that you're saying YOU are smarter than him and that YOU wouldn't have failed like he is.

I'm not saying it's your fault, but there are always two sides to a story and we're not in your relationship. If you're not happy, just leave. My ex was emotionally abusive and I can tell you that I didn't do anything (except not agree with him every second of the day), he is/was bipolar (diagnosed after we broke up)

Edited November 27, 2011 by Vanessa&Tony

[VanessaTony 3,567]

**with NPD thrown in the mix

[StellaB 0]

Leave him, file for divorce and file ROC with a divorce waiver (the abuse is harder to prove).

How are you making him feel about his "failure"? Are you supporting him? Are you telling him it's all his fault? Are you finding ways to lower your spending so that he's not feeling the high financial stress? You offering business ideas at a time when he's failing could be seen by him that you're saying YOU are smarter than him and that YOU wouldn't have failed like he is.

I'm not saying it's your fault, but there are always two sides to a story and we're not in your relationship. If you're not happy, just leave. My ex was emotionally abusive and I can tell you that I didn't do anything (except not agree with him every second of the day), he is/was bipolar (diagnosed after we broke up)

I have been totally supportive. Never kicking him when he's down and making things financially easier. Yet he feels he can kick me every time something goes wrong. Also, I meant my ideas for my own business. I don't tell him what to do in his business ( he wouldn't listen). I never put him down but I also get the sense that if I were to succeed as he was still struggling it would be a huge problem for him. I feel like I can't do anything without him belittling me.

[Nina~ 431]

OP, is there a reason you dont have a tax return for 2010? If you have filed your taxes, you can just call IRS and request a transcript from them. If you havent, then you need to call IRS and ask them what to do because you could potentially get into a lot of trouble if you failed to file your taxes.

[Ban Hammer 13,344]

one post removed for transporting drama from another thread to this one. stay on topic.

[StellaB 0]

OP, is there a reason you dont have a tax return for 2010? If you have filed your taxes, you can just call IRS and request a transcript from them. If you havent, then you need to call IRS and ask them what to do because you could potentially get into a lot of trouble if you failed to file your taxes.

We have not filed taxes for 2010 cuz my husband does not see it as a priority. I know we could be In deep trouble if we don't but he doesn't listen to me. I even got my friend who is an accountant to do it for us for free. I just dont know what to do anymore.

[Nina~ 431]

We have not filed taxes for 2010 cuz my husband does not see it as a priority. I know we could be In deep trouble if we don't but he doesn't listen to me. I even got my friend who is an accountant to do it for us for free. I just dont know what to do anymore.

If you have trouble paying your taxes, you can set up a payment plan with the IRS. But it is still important for you to file. You can also file your taxes separately so that it does not affect you later when you file for citizenship.

[VanessaTony 3,567]

I have been totally supportive. Never kicking him when he's down and making things financially easier. Yet he feels he can kick me every time something goes wrong. Also, I meant my ideas for my own business. I don't tell him what to do in his business ( he wouldn't listen). I never put him down but I also get the sense that if I were to succeed as he was still struggling it would be a huge problem for him. I feel like I can't do anything without him belittling me.

Unfortunately I agree with you. I think if you were to succeed it would just get worse. Some men just can't handle a woman achieving anything.

[VanessaTony 3,567]

We have not filed taxes for 2010 cuz my husband does not see it as a priority. I know we could be In deep trouble if we don't but he doesn't listen to me. I even got my friend who is an accountant to do it for us for free. I just dont know what to do anymore.

I suggest you file your taxes. You can do so "Married filing separately" that way you're covered IRS wise.