Age difference of fiance to fiancee?

[Hank_ 9,174]

Guess I posted the THIN ICE warning too late...

[Emanuel+Lorraine 7]

I'm 37 and my fiancee is 25.

The age difference (it isn't too big) really isn't an issue for us. We're close enough in age so that it doesn't create a huge gap between us and our priorities.

I feel like it's more of an issue for her family than mine, but I think it's more representative of their anxiety about her living so far away with me here in the states than anything else.

We know we're in love and want to be together and that nothing can stop us. Nevertheless, we are doing what we can to make our relatives and friends comfortable with the idea of us being together. We even did a Skype version of the "pamamanhikan" to get our parents acquainted

[LSnBigBear 61]

You realize that is a marketing tool by the international dating services to get gullible, lonely American men to believe that if they marry a Filipina, she'll never leave him, right? Because it is pure BS.

You're probably correct as they are running a business. Need we mention Match.com, Plenty of Fish and all the other US based dating websites and agency. I am sure everyone woman and man on those sights are not lonely and honest lol. It is an on line dating world now. I am thankful my first date cost me 240p as I lived in Cebu and met my wife to be the former traditional way. I say former as now the "traditonal" way of meeting and dating seem to be on line no matter what country one is in....

[JoBri 548]

Just am curious, how did you meet your wife? Me and my wife didnt meet through a dating site either. But wondered how y'all met.

You realize that is a marketing tool by the international dating services to get gullible, lonely American men to believe that if they marry a Filipina, she'll never leave him, right? Because it is pure BS.

[B_J 2,752]

Just am curious, how did you meet your wife? Me and my wife didnt meet through a dating site either. But wondered how y'all met.

From about 5 pages back (wow, this is a long thread)

My wife and I were introduced to each other through mutual friends (first saw her on YM video cam) and then months later saw her profile on Friendster (before MySpace and Facebook). I sent her a message and then we began chatting online. I imagine a lot of international relationships start out this way. Do I think her economic conditions effected her decision making? Perhaps to some degree. She was living comfortably in a home that her older sisters had built for the family, was a dentist and owned her own clinic, but hadn't yet been successful in getting her career off the ground. She had a 4 year old son at the time and I was divorced and raising children on my own at the time.

[LSnBigBear 61]

Just am curious, how did you meet your wife? Me and my wife didnt meet through a dating site either. But wondered how y'all met.

I lived in Cebu for many years and met her while I was there. She was in Cebu interviewing for teaching positions

[lierre 224]

I believe LM's comment about the Philippines had to do with the fact we're in the PI forum. As was mentioned earlier, there are some forums with a really disproportionate number of certain age-gap relationships. PI, RUB-- older men, younger women, many really large gaps. Much higher than average. MENA-- really high number of older female/younger male relationships with large age gaps. Much higher than average. Sp the eternal question is always why.

...

Anyone who rules out the possibility of love in at least some of the relationships is silly. Anyone who rules out fraud in some is silly. Anyone who rules out mutual benefits of age versus economics is silly. My guess is a combination of the three and whatever other factors there are, probably not equally weighted with all the possibilities forms some relationships while others stick to one category.

The thing is... Not everyone who sees relationships with a huge age gap think the way you do.

Most of the time, as has been so exemplified by earlier posts in this very long thread, people assume "oh, she's after his money" or "gee, it's just for sex"... Not even considering the idea that they might actually be in love.

Trying to simplify such a complex ideal as love & companionship will always lead to an understatement of what it is really about. And that is what most of the posters on here have been guilty of.

I miss Darren He coulda got this sucker shut down weeks ago...

Was he banned? I used to be active early last year so i'm now out of the loop

You realize that is a marketing tool by the international dating services to get gullible, lonely American men to believe that if they marry a Filipina, she'll never leave him, right? Because it is pure BS.

We met on a dating website. It wasn't a site strategically geared for meeting Filipinas.

But, I do find myself disturbed with sites that do that as a marketing tool.

Edited January 29, 2013 by ivyanddan

[Hank_ 9,174]

Nope wasn't banned. The last we heard from Darren their baby was born... so I guess he is busy be a new dad now.

[lierre 224]

Nope wasn't banned. The last we heard from Darren their baby was born... so I guess he is busy be a new dad now.

I see. It was quite interesting to read his "replies" then. Maybe you ought to send a "poke" haha

Looks like this thread has gone back to calm waters now

[sunandmoon 450]

I see. It was quite interesting to read his "replies" then. Maybe you ought to send a "poke" haha

Looks like this thread has gone back to calm waters now

I think that's why he no longer posts in the forum. he felt that he was being poked too much.

Edited January 30, 2013 by sunandmoon

[erynaught 43]

cannot figure out the cut-paste thing ... but like Emmanuel+Loraine above, I also had a 12 year age gap with my first wife. I tell you though after knowing her for a longer time I started to feel the age gap was more like 40yrs and her immaturity and irresponsiblity began to shine. She ulimately left for someone older - go figure.

Maturity of mind is far more important.

ive gotten over the psychological issues i had with age gap and firnds and family are no problem. i did worry about more practical issues like when i can be elligible for medicare and no longer working how would i provide health insurance for her? the kids? and i want to be healthy and agile enough for her and the kids. i got myself snipped at 55 because the i couldnt bear having a baby that i was unlikely to see start their own family someday and my wife was happy because she didn't want the increased chance of raising a baby without me.

age gap will always present some challenges - it is up to u to decide what those challenges are, how u will deal with them - figure this all out and it won't be an issue for u any more. When you have your priorities lined up and a workable plan, then they become nonissues and you can go on with your life.

[Sean and Neslie 2]

I am considerably older than my fiance but one of the things i look for in a partner is that they have life experience. I am 48 and she is 25. My fiance has 2 children from a previous relationship and has dealt with a lot of drama in her life . She is very loving, caring, funny, responsible, and she gets things done. to keep it simple i will say this we enjoy each others company whether that is going to the movies going out to eat or hanging out and watching tv or listening to music or singing karaoke  ( we love a lot of the same music) we love being together. Me personally if she didn't have all that life experience  i don't know if we would have ever made it that far into this relationship . I know people here in the states the same age as her that i cant stand to hear talk because there is nothing of interest coming out of their mouth they still live at home with their parents and have never had to deal with any real life drama. Its nice to have someone who cares about my day asks me how i am doing if i have eaten tells me to drive safely  and takes real concern in my general well being doesn't ask for or expect anything selfishly from me. For so many years i dealt with the what have you done for me lately and the gimme more money mentality it is nice not to have to deal with that kind of personality anymore. I am not one to judge anyone else motives in a relationship i am not with any of these couples 24 hours a day and i don't know what they talk about or how they live in their private time. i just know that i am grateful to have the woman i have now. Will she change in the future? hopefully only for the better as she grows as a person but i am sure she asks her self if i will change in the future. Again hopefully just for the better. No ones perfect but if we learn from our mistakes and change directions for the better  that is what being responsible is all about.

[Hank_ 9,174]

This one has come to life again!     ... started back in 2011 ... still has a breath of life in it.

 

23 years is not even close to the record for age gap ...     

 

.. sorry but this is a common topic and you have nothing to be concerned about.  n-o-t-h-i-n-g

[Chris Duffy 1,257]

8 hours ago, Hank_ said:

This one has come to life again!     ... started back in 2011 ... still has a breath of life in it.

 

23 years is not even close to the record for age gap ...     

 

.. sorry but this is a common topic and you have nothing to be concerned about.  n-o-t-h-i-n-g

23 age gap would be about normal from what I have seen.

Start getting like 40 years age gap, as they say " Old Carabao eat young grass" 

 

 

 

[Hank_ 9,174]

3 hours ago, Chris Duffy said:

23 age gap would be about normal from what I have seen.

Start getting like 40 years age gap, as they say " Old Carabao eat young grass" 

 

 

 

Biggest age gap I saw come through was 37 years.    That is very young grass.    And it doesn't help that the filipinas look younger than their years.