Age difference of fiance to fiancee?

[Krikit 1,164]

Actob99..... you need to tone it down a little. The conversation has been civil.

[actob99 156]

Actob99..... you need to tone it down a little. The conversation has been civil.

Tone it down? Yes Sir, my apoligies again for calling out rude distasteful remarks and then commenting on them.

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

Tone it down? Yes SirMa'am, my apoligies again for calling out rude distasteful remarks and then commenting on them.

[VJ Supersleuth 100]

You said it! TOO LATE, i can repost it again if you like. And nowhere did any of my words have anything to do with that.

actob99,

While trying to remain impartial, allow me to quote you:

Wow, pretty sure [she] didn't say that.. But thanks for sharing!

but I believe what was 'said' was:

Plus, you couldn't hold a candle to my Danish husband, he'd break a smaller woman.

Seems you are inferring something that has not been said. There are diminutive women from all cultures.

[elmcitymaven 9,712]

I agree with most of what you're saying. But there are also cultural differences between Americans, Filipinos, Canadians, Danishians etc. that shouldn't be ignore either. No matter...the only important issue is knowing and loving the person you're with, no matter the age.

Totally agree on this. We see on VJ every day that people have conflict in their relationships because they don't take into account cultural difference. But as you say, understanding and loving your partner is the key, whatever age or nationality.

Tone it down? Yes Sir, my apoligies again for calling out rude distasteful remarks and then commenting on them.

Ruh roh.

[Krikit 1,164]

Tone it down? Yes Sir, my apoligies again for calling out rude distasteful remarks and then commenting on them.

You need to stop. I am warning you, yet again, so that you may continue to post in this thread. Members are trying to point out to you that you are taking things out of context and jumping to conclusions. Try reading the posts without being on the defensive.

Seems you are inferring something that has not been said. There are diminutive women from all cultures.

Us diminutive women can handle a lot more than people think.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

It's showtime??? I like how some people are commenting on this topic, who have no idea of the culture, have never been to the Philippines, and definitely have not walked in the person's shoes they are insulting..

Ex. Topic based- when I was living in the Phils with my then fiancee, my fathwr wanted to come visit and see me and meet my wife. My father was single, 65 and dating back home. He had been to the Phils for a couple work trips back in the 80's when not such a good time to be there.

We went out for dinner, first remarks were- I can't believe all the older men with younger women. We had a very good discussion and he had his views. After 1 week of visiting my friends(locals and foreigners), talking with foreigners in the malls, and seeing it first hand he had a little different view. He himself waan't interested in filipina's

or a younger girl, he undersood and seen the relationships first hand. He met a doctor and a minester from the states and had conversations over this age difference topic. They noth were married yo filipinas and were extremely happy in their relationships. My dad got it.

Now he sees my relationship With my wife, although the

age gap isn't as big as some, she is still young. And he is very supportive and sees the true love that is there.

Filipina's have been said are the most loyal women in the world to their husbands and families. Why wouldn't I want the best of the best?

You realize that is a marketing tool by the international dating services to get gullible, lonely American men to believe that if they marry a Filipina, she'll never leave him, right? Because it is pure BS.

[JoBri 548]

I agree with most of what you're saying. But there are also cultural differences between Americans, Filipinos, Canadians, Danishians etc. that shouldn't be ignore either. No matter...the only important issue is knowing and loving the person you're with, no matter the age.

[kev_n_jena 89]

I miss Darren He coulda got this sucker shut down weeks ago...

[B_J 2,752]

I miss Darren He coulda got this sucker shut down weeks ago...

[Krikit 1,164]

I wonder how he and Gretchen are doing. I hope all is well.

[Hank_ 9,174]

I miss Darren He coulda got this sucker shut down weeks ago...

[Hank_ 9,174]

[Krikit 1,164]

Well, I tried.

Post violating the TOS has been removed and administrative action taken.

[davenjanet 22]

I believe LM's comment about the Philippines had to do with the fact we're in the PI forum. As was mentioned earlier, there are some forums with a really disproportionate number of certain age-gap relationships. PI, RUB-- older men, younger women, many really large gaps. Much higher than average. MENA-- really high number of older female/younger male relationships with large age gaps. Much higher than average. Sp the eternal question is always why.

Vj is obviously a small sample of the number of foreign spouse relationships with USCs at any one time. It also only represents from the pool of USCs and foreign spouses who use computers (which is why I suspect we have so many online meeting stories on VJ-- our participant pool is more internet-based to begin with). Even with that, though, the numbers are still high. So everyone wonders-- what is going on here?

I am sure you genuinely mean your last sentence, but it isn't so. No one wonders - everyone assumes. I jumped into this thread a week or so ago, humorously wondering what I would win if I had the largest age gap. No one asked why I would pursue my younger fiancee or why she would pursue me - everyone assumes.

This isn't just my experience here on VJ. I have had several younger gfs over the past 6 years (of both the domestic and foreign variety). Only twice in all that time has anyone ever "wondered" why - and asked me. One was my sister, who is now great friends with my fiancee and encouraged me that life was short and that I shouldn't wait to file the petition. The other was a good friend, who wondered what the hell motivated me to go to the Philippines. His curiosity, led to a series of discussions and eventually I introduced him to a Pinay friend, who is now his gf. He returns to see her next week.

So "wondering" and asking the question is a good thing.

The other issue that makes me shake my head in wonder is America's attitude toward age. I'm sure I had the same notions when I was younger. I chuckle when I am confronted by younger friends and co-workers who seem genuinely stunned that I still have a libido, let alone that I use it. Honestly, they look at me appalled, as if they are thinking 'he must buy Viagra by the truckload.' I used to think that if I told them some stories of my adventures they would be encouraged, thinking 'Hey, when I'm that age I will still be active.' But after looking at the shocked faces, I decided to keep it to myself. Besides, I'm a writer and have nearly completed a book of comic stories on my post-divorced life - so why give the milk away for free

Of course if any of you did "wonder" and ask the question, at least part of the answer would be what you most fear; that I like sweet, kind, attractive, and sexy women. And I like Filipinas. That certainly makes me unique.

Edited January 25, 2013 by davenjanet