Age difference of fiance to fiancee?

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

B_J .... had to give you a + as I do agree.

Plus a big part of the interview process at the embassy is to weed out the "fraud", you know... those marrying for a GC or anything other than love. I guess some feel the embassy is totally failing at their task.

There is not much "weeding out" done. Approvals to Denials run about 95:1 worldwide for fiancee visas, as opposed to tourist visas that run about 4:1. The embassy assumes the DHS back in the States used due diligence, when approving the petition. Personally knowing several K-1's from the Philippines that were not for love, but for convenience and a green card, I would say the embassy in Manila could be doing a better job in weeding out fraud, from their end. In every case, a very young and attractive Pinay married a very old and morbidly fat Kano, and I doubt any of those marriages of convenience were ever consummated.

[actob99 156]

This just isn't that insulting of a thread, IMO. And people do go into other forums and talk about all kinds of stuff. If you notice, wayyyy back in the thread, the majority of age-related threads at that time were in MENA. This is the internet. An internet forum. It's not something happening IRL to you. It's not worth being super upset about. There are more important things in the world than the opinions of

others on some internet immigration forum.

I agree, as I stated in a couple posts ago this is"actually a good discission"'.. I'm smiling here brotha, i have no issues.

So what is your point? I didm't catch it?

[B_J 2,752]

You can, but why is this quote, for example, insulting:

It comes down to economics - these young women are looking for opportunity and financial stability that is harder to achieve in their country. That gives the American men the upperhand in picking what they want - young, pretty, petite.

Here's where that is relevant..

If someone wants to know about my marriage, then ask. But don't tell me we married because I wanted a young wife and she wanted money. It is insulting and judgmental. To claim it isn't is not believable.

I said people claimed Fil/Am marriages are based on him just wanting a young wife and her just wanting money. Krikit couldn't find where that happened, so I gave an example. Actually, I gave numerous examples.

I missed the part where this happened also.

[actob99 156]

There is not much "weeding out" done. Approvals to Denials run about 95:1 worldwide for fiancee visas, as opposed to tourist visas that run about 4:1. The embassy assumes the DHS back in the States used due diligence, when approving the petition. Personally knowing several K-1's from the Philippines that were not for love, but for convenience and a green card, I would say the embassy in Manila could be doing a better job in weeding out fraud, from their end. In every case, a very young and attractive Pinay married a very old and morbidly fat Kano, and I doubt any of those marriages of convenience were ever consummated.

It must be the company you keep because I personally don't know of one that wasn't for love and for a green card. And I know a few too!

[Nasturtium 500]

I agree, as I stated in a couple posts ago this is"actually a good discission"'.. I'm smiling here brotha, i have no issues.

So what is your point? I didm't catch it?

Point: Not that insulting of a thread. Not worth getting worked up over.

The point is a general statement for any worked up participants. If you're not, then it doesn't apply.

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

It must be the company you keep because I personally don't know of one that wasn't for love and for a green card. And I know a few too!

I know more than a few. We have a large Filipino population in this area. They say the morning fog in the San Francisco Bay Area is caused from all the rice cookers being turned on at the same time every day.

[B_J 2,752]

I agree, as I stated in a couple posts ago this is"actually a good discission"'.. I'm smiling here brotha, i have no issues.

So what is your point? I didm't catch it?

Did you just refer to somebody named julianna as "brotha"?

[davenjanet 22]

This just isn't that insulting of a thread, IMO. And people do go into other forums and talk about all kinds of stuff. If you notice, wayyyy back in the thread, the majority of age-related threads at that time were in MENA. This is the internet. An internet forum. It's not something happening IRL to you. It's not worth being super upset about. There are more important things in the world than the opinions of others on some internet immigration forum.

Not to completely disagree but some of the more over the top comments were removed.

Since some people make judgments about nearly everything in life, it's no surprise that there are some judgments here. Yet still it's a head scratcher. Why would anyone care about who I love, marry or sleep with?

My unscientific conclusion is that when it comes to sex we are still a bit of a puritanical culture. If I tell someone that my best friend in life is a 20-something woman from the Philippines, no one has a problem. On the contrary; they probably compliment me on my open mindedness. If I tell someone that I am sleeping with a 20-something woman from the Philippines, the reactions are very different. Since sex is the only variable, I must assume that's what changes the view and sometimes adds judgment to the mix.

I had a funny conversation years ago with a gay friend. We were discussing attitudes towards homosexuality. While my views run toward the "everyone should love whomever they want" side of the issue, I had to admit that the few times I had imagined the homosexual act, there was a real "yuck factor." I would imagine that some people feel that yuck factor about an older man and a younger woman. Hell, when I was a teenager I didn't want to imagine that my parents were still having sex.

Truth be told I have little interest in imagining most people having sex with their partners:) Again, it's the yuck factor.

But as you say, it's the Internet where anyone can say anything they want with impunity. I expect in the real world fewer judgments will be expressed.

[actob99 156]

I know more than a few. We have a large Filipino population in this area. They say the morning fog in the San Francisco Bay Area is caused from all the rice cookers being turned on at the same time every day.

That's funny, I haven't heard that one.. I

I know that it definitely happens and I think that both individuals know and just don't care or don't want to face it. It happens with all relationships all over the world.. Doesn't matter where you are, you need to put in the time and make sure you're both good. It's not philippines specific as some has made it out to be and I think off topic of the original question. What was the original question again?

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

That's funny, I haven't heard that one.. I

I know that it definitely happens and I think that both individuals know and just don't care or don't want to face it. It happens with all relationships all over the world.. Doesn't matter where you are, you need to put in the time and make sure you're both good. It's not philippines specific as some has made it out to be and I think off topic of the original question. What was the original question again?

Yeah, it is not the norm, and it is not just the Philippines. For women, it is the MENA countries that a large age difference often, but not normally, is the first red flag of possible fraud. It happens. It is enough to be aware of the possibility.

[Dan and Judy 614]

B_J .... had to give you a + as I do agree.

Plus a big part of the interview process at the embassy is to weed out the "fraud", you know... those marrying for a GC or anything other than love.

judgmental cat is out of the bag. Marrying for anything other than love is Fraud!!!!

[Hank_ 9,174]

[LSnBigBear 61]

Does anyone think this thread will continue into 2014 I think my fiancee somehow made up our 22 year age gap during this thread I now feel 24 and she must feel 46. I like it!

Edited January 24, 2013 by LSnBigBear

[LSnBigBear 61]

One more item I would like to share. When I moved back from the RP in August 2011 I really had no real plan to marry my fiancee. We dated, she stayed with me some while I lived there but once I waited to make sure upon my return. I can say proudly I feel more in love with her and our bond increased even more being apart. We skype daily, watch tv and share EVERYTHING. She is now my best friend. Hands down the best. And from a maturity standpoint talk to both of us to figure out who is older. She is educated and light years ahead of her age in terms of thoughts and being a wife. She is awesome. And the best thing about all this is...... (drum roll please)........... By the time she goes through menopause and starts acting goofy I will be too old to give a rats a _ _ I can't believe he said that

[82regal 0]

One more item I would like to share. When I moved back from the RP in August 2011 I really had no real plan to marry my fiancee. We dated, she stayed with me some while I lived there but once I waited to make sure upon my return. I can say proudly I feel more in love with her and our bond increased even more being apart. We skype daily, watch tv and share EVERYTHING. She is now my best friend. Hands down the best. And from a maturity standpoint talk to both of us to figure out who is older. She is educated and light years ahead of her age in terms of thoughts and being a wife. She is awesome. And the best thing about all this is...... (drum roll please)........... By the time she goes through menopause and starts acting goofy I will be too old to give a rats a _ _ I can't believe he said that

this is good i am in the same situation i have a much younger fiance we will get married because we love each other and i think your right about the menopause