Age difference of fiance to fiancee?

[Kumi and Drake 14]

My fiance is 24, and I'm 26. I often get teased by my friend that I'm either a cradle snatcher or a cougar. But it's all in jest. I may be older than him by two years but we get along just fine.

[Dustin and Janen 86]

We have a 2 and a half year age difference. I'm 25 and she just turned 23.

Nothing wrong with large age gaps as long as both people are happy, who's business is it?

[andy_san 2]

I'm 29. ( although I look like 18) He's 32.

[spn1025 38]

33 and she's 28

[spn1025 38]

So by the time a good friend of mine (who has a delightful Pinay wife) told me I should check out the Philippines for a potential partner I was more ready to have a relationship with a younger woman.

You kind of just branded the Philippines as an easy place to go where old people can get young girls. It's not a place to fulfill a fetish that's very hard to accomplish in America. It's very rare to see a couple of white Americans with a 35 year age gap, mainly because it's not the norm in America (how much disgust did America show to Anna Nicole Smith and that 80 year old guy?). So why is it that most of the white people I see in Phil (outside of Manila) are old white males picking up their young Filipina tart?

Age shouldn't make a difference in a relationship, but some people need to ask themselves a question or two:

Would you marry your daughter's best friend?

Would you marry your granddaughter's best friend?

Let the fire begin, but I'll still stick to my "keep it within 10 years" rule.

[LSnBigBear 61]

Kudos to your post! we're on same shoes ! glad to meet you here

Thanks forgottenlady, likewise to you too.

[davenjanet 22]

You kind of just branded the Philippines as an easy place to go where old people can get young girls. It's not a place to fulfill a fetish that's very hard to accomplish in America. It's very rare to see a couple of white Americans with a 35 year age gap, mainly because it's not the norm in America (how much disgust did America show to Anna Nicole Smith and that 80 year old guy?). So why is it that most of the white people I see in Phil (outside of Manila) are old white males picking up their young Filipina tart?

Age shouldn't make a difference in a relationship, but some people need to ask themselves a question or two:

Would you marry your daughter's best friend?

Would you marry your granddaughter's best friend?

Let the fire begin, but I'll still stick to my "keep it within 10 years" rule.

Well I now know one person who isn't coming to the wedding lol!

In no way did I brand the Philippines as anything. If you read my posting the point I made is that because I had already had a younger gf in the US by th time I visited the Philippines I was open to the possibility and it didn't bother me when I saw many older men with younger women there. Nor did it bother me when many younger women, some much younger than my fiancé, expressed interest in me.

You said that age shouldn make a difference in a relationship but then contradicted yourself. Why do I have a "young Filipina tart" but you have a fiancée?

No, I would not marry my daughters best friend for a variety if reasons. The biggest reason is that my daughter is 13! Not every older guy is a grandfather.

Edited January 20, 2013 by davenjanet

[lierre 224]

I'm younger by a couple of years.

I dislike what this question implies. But, I cannot fault the person who posted it either.

Every person has a reason for marrying who they want to marry... whether it's for companionship, sex, money, or love.

As long as it's consensual, as long as it doesn't violate human rights... Marrying someone way younger or way older is nobody's business but the couple's

[Hank_ 9,174]

You kind of just branded the Philippines as an easy place to go where old people can get young girls. It's not a place to fulfill a fetish that's very hard to accomplish in America. It's very rare to see a couple of white Americans with a 35 year age gap, mainly because it's not the norm in America (how much disgust did America show to Anna Nicole Smith and that 80 year old guy?). So why is it that most of the white people I see in Phil (outside of Manila) are old white males picking up their young Filipina tart?

Age shouldn't make a difference in a relationship, but some people need to ask themselves a question or two:

Would you marry your daughter's best friend?

Would you marry your granddaughter's best friend?

Let the fire begin, but I'll still stick to my "keep it within 10 years" rule.

No fire... its your rule ONLY for you... follow it to keep yourself at peace in your mind. As for others and your rule......

Opinions and butts... everyone has one. Doesn't mean someone else wants you to share it.

[N-o-l-a 7,167]

You kind of just branded the Philippines as an easy place to go where old people can get young girls. It's not a place to fulfill a fetish that's very hard to accomplish in America. It's very rare to see a couple of white Americans with a 35 year age gap, mainly because it's not the norm in America (how much disgust did America show to Anna Nicole Smith and that 80 year old guy?). So why is it that most of the white people I see in Phil (outside of Manila) are old white males picking up their young Filipina tart?

Age shouldn't make a difference in a relationship, but some people need to ask themselves a question or two:

Would you marry your daughter's best friend?

Would you marry your granddaughter's best friend?

Let the fire begin, but I'll still stick to my "keep it within 10 years" rule.

For me, consenting adults should do what they please, but I'd hope that the man or woman thinks about his/her children when the new spouse is the same age or younger as them. I don't think that is healthy for a variety of reasons for the children affected by it and would most likely put strain on the family dynamic.

[Hank_ 9,174]

Well I now know one person who isn't coming to the wedding lol!

In no way did I brand the Philippines as anything. If you read my posting the point I made is that because I had already had a younger gf in the US by th time I visited the Philippines I was open to the possibility and it didn't bother me when I saw many older men with younger women there. Nor did it bother me when many younger women, some much younger than my fiancé, expressed interest in me.

You said that age shouldn make a difference in a relationship but then contradicted yourself. Why do I have a "young Filipina tart" but you have a fiancée?

No, I would not marry my daughters best friend for a variety if reasons. The biggest reason is that my daughter is 13! Not every older guy is a grandfather.

There are tons of opinions out there about age gap marriages.... opinion and butts (cleaned it up for the forum), everyone has one, doesn't mean the next person wants to know about either.

No you didn't brand the Philippines... actually the other poster did in MY opiinion.

No worries.. be happy... enjoy...

And all the best!

[JoBri 548]

Actually, when I first met my future wife I had already accepted the fact I probably would not get married. I went ahead with plans for my future being single. I did not feel comfortable dating, even in this country, the USA. I didnt want to go through all that. I just wanted to focus on my own career and be happy with having just my cat. I had my own rules that I wouldnt talk with any women from the Philippines or Africa, and many other countries simply because i didnt trust the intentions of people from those places, personally.

When I was in a Christian chat room on Yahoo, my wife messaged me and said "hi", but I was slow to respond back when I saw she was from the Philippines. When she left the chat room, she simply said "bye". I didnt respond. I looked at her profile, and when I saw her face I felt a connection in heart, and added her as a friend, and 6 months later she reappeared, this time in Indonesia. It was a few months later before we started talking in earnest, and a couple months had gone by without talking at all. I had forgotten her during that time, and she had forgotten about me. Until one day, she messaged to say hi again, and things took off from there. Niether of us were "looking" for anyone at that time. We both had plenty of other stuff to focus on in life at that time. But sometimes things just happen. Niether of us knew the age of the other. Neither of us knew the financial situation of the other at that time other than the only thing I let my wife know from the beginning was that I was poor. When things got more serious, I told her again I was uncomfortable because I didnt have money for much of a life for us. She said it would be ok, that as long as we had a table to eat at, and if I took her to a movie once or twice a month and threw her a fish now and then it would be enough.

Financial security is important. She had that in the Philippines, but not with me. The reality of it all is that finances have been very difficult for us here, together... If one of us had money, life would sure be a whole lot easier. But finances and age played no part in us coming together. But today we are a family, and we are happy with a simple life,. Our son is happy and thriving in all ways. Sometimes God has plans in people's lives that are totally different from the plans we have. Life is an adventure, full of twists and turns that you dont expect. But I used to tell myself that I cant put God in a box and set self-imposed limitations on what he can or cannot do. I had forgotten that, until after I met my wife.

Edited January 20, 2013 by Brijo

[spn1025 38]

Well I now know one person who isn't coming to the wedding lol!

In no way did I brand the Philippines as anything. If you read my posting the point I made is that because I had already had a younger gf in the US by th time I visited the Philippines I was open to the possibility and it didn't bother me when I saw many older men with younger women there. Nor did it bother me when many younger women, some much younger than my fiancé, expressed interest in me.

You said that age shouldn make a difference in a relationship but then contradicted yourself. Why do I have a "young Filipina tart" but you have a fiancée?

No, I would not marry my daughters best friend for a variety if reasons. The biggest reason is that my daughter is 13! Not every older guy is a grandfather.

Well, in that last paragraph, you completely missed my point. You're 60, so technically you could have had a daughter who would be 40 years old.

Maybe I just follow a different set of morals and standards, but I also try to look at the big picture. My wife is 4.5 years younger, which is nothing. When I retire, she'll be pretty close to retiring too. When I'm old and in a nursing home, I'm not gonna be leaving my 20-something year old wife to take care of the kids by herself. If you think that's OK, then that's your own selfish desire. Just because it's legal, doesn't make it right.

[Hank_ 9,174]

Ooooooooowwwwwwwwwwww!

I hope its a plexaglass house.... stones can be nasty.

Well, in that last paragraph, you completely missed my point. You're 60, so technically you could have had a daughter who would be 40 years old.

Maybe I just follow a different set of morals and standards, but I also try to look at the big picture. My wife is 4.5 years younger, which is nothing. When I retire, she'll be pretty close to retiring too. When I'm old and in a nursing home, I'm not gonna be leaving my 20-something year old wife to take care of the kids by herself. If you think that's OK, then that's your own selfish desire. Just because it's legal, doesn't make it right.

-2

[davenjanet 22]

Well, in that last paragraph, you completely missed my point. You're 60, so technically you could have had a daughter who would be 40 years old.

Maybe I just follow a different set of morals and standards, but I also try to look at the big picture. My wife is 4.5 years younger, which is nothing. When I retire, she'll be pretty close to retiring too. When I'm old and in a nursing home, I'm not gonna be leaving my 20-something year old wife to take care of the kids by herself. If you think that's OK, then that's your own selfish desire. Just because it's legal, doesn't make it right.

Nope, YOU missed the point - completely. While at age 59 (I got a couple more days to go till 60) I could in theory have a 40 year old child, I don't. I could just as easily have a 3 year old child.

In short life does not work on an actuarial table; you can't define when someone could or should get married, have kids, get old, enter a nursing home, or die. Case in point - my mother died (and quickly) at age 40, my grandmother had a stroke and entered a nursing home at 54; both long before it was supposed to happen. So to use a well worn cliche "life is short - enjoy it while you can." Personally I intend to. If someone has a judgement with that - it's their issue not mine.

As to "just because it's legal, doesn't make it right" who decides what makes it right? While possibly some family input is justified, certainly the couple ought to ultimately decide. And never some anonymous guy on the Internet.

Edited January 20, 2013 by davenjanet