Getting married In Belarus

[baron555 934]

Grats! Yeah...I just felt like...this is the woman I have always been looking for and I highly doubt I will ever find a woman this great ever again...so why play games or waste time waiting! I don't know if it was smart thing to do or a dumb thing to do and we just got lucky! Either way, it worked out.

Sounds good!

Same feelings here, and we both have talked about it and did talk about it.

I can remember thinking that I was not following the normal path as described by many others but here was a woman who met all of my criteria....should I keep looking for something even better? Would I ever find that person? Is such a person even real? Glad we both made the decision we did.

We are both very happy that we did.

But, we also agreed that we would "work" at the relationship and to not let the petty little things, or each others' temporary moods or other stresses, damage it and to not hold any grudges and to never ever bring it into the bedroom We have been very successful so far.

[baron555 934]

.I'll applaud 10 years with the same lady.

We accept your challenge.......thing is my wife is really my best friend...really.

Yes there are a few things we enjoy to do separately but each supports the other in those endeavors.

How many men can state that their wife is their best friend (and vice versa)?

[visaveteran1 33]

We accept your challenge.......thing is my wife is really my best friend...really.

Yes there are a few things we enjoy to do separately but each supports the other in those endeavors.

How many men can state that their wife is their best friend (and vice versa)?

I hope you meet and exceed my challenge.

I think I get what you mean about "best friend." The more you like doing things together, the better your odds I would think. I guess I'm speaking the obvious. My only caveat to the best friend thing...is it real or are one or both of you trying REAL hard to do what the other one likes? I know I did some of that and it came back to bite me.

[baron555 934]

I hope you meet and exceed my challenge.

I think I get what you mean about "best friend." The more you like doing things together, the better your odds I would think. I guess I'm speaking the obvious. My only caveat to the best friend thing...is it real or are one or both of you trying REAL hard to do what the other one likes? I know I did some of that and it came back to bite me.

Tnx for the support.

No I do not see where either is trying real hard to impress and go along with the other.

[visaveteran1 33]

Tnx for the support.

No I do not see where either is trying real hard to impress and go along with the other.

Baron, you're a solid citizen. I get that you did the search, courtship, decision-making and marriage all in a good way.

All the best...and keep the perimeter safe.

[LvivLovers 39]

We accept your challenge.......thing is my wife is really my best friend...really.

Yes there are a few things we enjoy to do separately but each supports the other in those endeavors.

How many men can state that their wife is their best friend (and vice versa)?

I'll accept that as well! Heck we are about halfway there already and things have not dulled down at all. And ditto...my wife is definitely my best friend as well...we do almost everything together...hell she even went to a Megadeth concert with me (and loved it!!!). We do our own things at times too, but even then, if we are doing different things I just love being in the same room with her. We'll definitely make it to 10,15,20,25, etc.

For the record, my parents have been married more than 50 years at this point...I think a lot of it has to do with values and whether you are a giver or a taker, thinking mostly about yourself or your spouse, selfish or giving. That and a big part of it is just how committed are you...you can decide that you will make a marriage work.

[slim 1,525]

For the record, my parents have been married more than 50 years at this point...I think a lot of it has to do with values and whether you are a giver or a taker, thinking mostly about yourself or your spouse, selfish or giving. That and a big part of it is just how committed are you...you can decide that you will make a marriage work.

I think it just comes down to trying to outlive the other one.

[Bad_Daddy 2,209]

I think it just comes down to trying to outlive the other one.

[visaveteran1 33]

I'll accept that as well! Heck we are about halfway there already and things have not dulled down at all. And ditto...my wife is definitely my best friend as well...we do almost everything together...hell she even went to a Megadeth concert with me (and loved it!!!). We do our own things at times too, but even then, if we are doing different things I just love being in the same room with her. We'll definitely make it to 10,15,20,25, etc.

For the record, my parents have been married more than 50 years at this point...I think a lot of it has to do with values and whether you are a giver or a taker, thinking mostly about yourself or your spouse, selfish or giving. That and a big part of it is just how committed are you...you can decide that you will make a marriage work.

You and a few others sound like motivational speakers or cheerleaders. Rah! Rah! OK...wait till they have a kid or pre menopause kicks in...that can start early, like early 40s. Then let's talk "the power of positive thinking."

My parents hit 50 too. They were not like us. It's not genetic. There's no correlation there.

[Bad_Daddy 2,209]

Iv'e met a few American expats that are retired and living in Belarus...not sure how they did it with the visa restrictions, but they did it. Those guys seemed to be living the good life. Chicks half their age and a different one every week, some every night. One guy said he takes the train down to the Crim every summer from Minsk and parties it up even more. They get their retirement checks direct deposited and live like kings over there. Hopefully that will be me someday.

[baron555 934]

You and a few others sound like motivational speakers or cheerleaders. Rah! Rah! OK...wait till they have a kid or pre menopause kicks in...that can start early, like early 40s. Then let's talk "the power of positive thinking."

My parents hit 50 too. They were not like us. It's not genetic. There's no correlation there.

Ummm....we do have a kid!

4-1/2 year old angel/monster of a boy!

Wanna babysit?

[eekee 182]

It's not genetic, but if you have a healthy relationship model in your parents, you have a far better chance of having healthy relationships yourself and being less messed up all-around.

The rest of us have to go to therapy. :-P

[james&olya 1,121]

Evil exists in the world. Like in Cho, the VA Tech shooter. Or home invaders who rape, torture and murder for the pure joy of it. We live among mad dogs. This is evil.

I've never personally known an evil woman...Russian or otherwise. The choice of the word "evil" is not mine, and those who use it do so cavalierly and in poor form, in my judgment. My critical references are to the qualities of being a wife, not to being a human being. Some people are not cut out for marriage, yet probably are very good people in many other ways.

For men, the single rational I can think of for getting into a monogamous relationship is having a steady, predictable sex partner. Any other benefits are all obtainable without a 24/7/365 deal. Want a fresh baked cake? Go to the German bakery. Need your place cleaned...call in the Latina Maids. Need your shirts ironed? Go to the Korean Dry Cleaners. Dirty dishes? Let Kenmore help you.

Oh wait...there's "love." Best way to kill it...get married. Sooner or later, you'll stop sending her flowers...and she'll stop shopping at Victoria's Secret. I felt real "love" when I was young. I did. That's the time of a young man's fancy for the ladies. I went crazy in love and, frankly, love can be painful...even physically. "Love sick" is a real malady. But when the white hair starts to show up, love is quite different...more rational and controlled and less wild in it's effects.

As to fault and the blame game..I will own the break-up of my first marriage was more to do with me and untreated PTSD, then my wife. Yet I made it 22 years before falling. Better than the average.

For those singing their happy songs about their wonderful marriage...let's wait and see. Can you make it 22 years? If you can, then start bragging. A few years with the wife any man can do standing up. Heck, forget 22 years...I'll applaud 10 years with the same lady.

VV, you certainly do deserve credit for making your first marriage last 22 years, especially if you have had to deal with PTSD! But I hope, for your sake, that you can see another rationale for marriage you didn't mention. Whether you call it friendship, love, maybe even companionship, we all need it. It is not as intense as the infatuation type of love but it can be far deeper and stronger! I get the sense that RUB women place a higher value proprtionately on this type of 'love' than on the puppy-dog, infatuation kind of 'love' that is so glorified by Hollywood here. Rather than wearing out over time, this kind of love, if nurtured, can continue growing. Will we make our marriage work for 10 or more years? I don't know for a certainty but I have never felt so optimistic before! I hope you can find a way to regain your own optimism for your personal future!

[slim 1,525]

It seems to me more RUB women view marriage as a business arrangement than a lovey dovey relationship. The man is there to provide stability, children if desired, and basically, take care of her needs while she does whatever she wants in life be that school, job, housewife, etc.

If he's close to her age, attractive, doesn't beat her, has a nice car, etc., all the better.

[baron555 934]

It seems to me more RUB women view marriage as a business arrangement than a lovey dovey relationship. The man is there to provide stability, children if desired, and basically, take care of her needs while she does whatever she wants in life be that school, job, housewife, etc.

If he's close to her age, attractive, doesn't beat her, has a nice car, etc., all the better.

I don't know if business arrangement is the best description but I can state from my own experience and from those other US/Russian couples that I know is that the women DO place more emphasis on the stability, children, being the father and being the husband than other materialistic things.

And I have yet to meet any RUB women that I would describe as evil......all, and I know about 30, and a handful very closely, are total sweethearts.