Fiance problems adjusting to food

[Miss smarty pants 84]

My husband is a chef trained in international cuisine. Lucky me!

[BobnCherry 10]

Hello VJ's,

So, i have a problem with my Fiance. He is Moroccan and I'm Mexican American. He has been complaining about food most of the time. Not only he complains, but also makes faces to most of the food. I understand he misses his Moroccan food, but i feel he should at least taste the food, there have been some occasions where i have to force him to taste it. He says its good but won't eat it. I feel stress and nervous, i have no idea what to cook, because he even complains about food in the restaurants, so I'm thinking to myself if he don't like the good restaurant food of course he will not like my cooking. I really haven't cooked much.I'm afraid he won't like it and makes faces like he has till now then i will really get upset. I guess i thought it was going to be just as normal as it was when i visit him in Morocco. I had no problem eating anything.

Sometimes i just want to him. I love him, but sometimes this food problem gets in my head, He says not to stress about it, but grrrrrrrrrrrr!

I let Cherry cook what she wanted the first week then I started to introduce some of what I like we found that one another foods were good and sometimes good together...good luck

B&C

[Leatherneck 693]

Who could not like Mexican food? Living in or near L.A., there have got to be several Moroccan restaurants and markets you could visit on the weekends.

My mother would tell me, "when you get hungry enough, you will eat" and she was right.

When his ribs start having a chat with his stomach and the hunger pains increase,

that Mexican dish you cooked will have more appeal.

[hobbitofohio 10]

Food and cooking are major adjustments. It is never easy and takes some effort.

When my wife came to the USA from Russia, she had learned much english. However, she knew very very few food words. So I cooked the first few days 100%. She was very upset, not with my cooking, but with not being able to do it. After a few weeks she could do it all. I picked up a few cookbooks on Russian foods. With those we were able to create food that tasted like her home.

There were few problems with food. The hardest was the onions. The type she was use to were very mild. Here they were much stronger.

I had spent a total of about a month in Russia before she moved here. I had eaten the main dishes of she was use to and told her my favorites. Even doing that we had adjustment. One year here, we are able to match the taste of Russian food from her home town. We cook a mix of foods. Some meals are all Russian, some all USA.

Hang in there, it is a learning experience for both people. It really does get better.

[Robert&Karen 264]

Give him a large blob of tofu and a shelf full of spices. I bet he never complains again.

[amyandjorge 76]

Food is more than fulfilling the body's needs. It is culture, family, customs (sometimes identity). Think of some of the words we associate with food, "comfort", "soul". It might not actually be the food itself that is the source of adjustment difficulty. Maybe it is not actually what is on the plate, but the who, what, where, when and how surrounding meals. Also, in my work, I have found that a person's approach to food is much more individual than their national culture dictates. Like the example of the two Americans that have to adjust to their partners eating/cooking habits.

And a personal anecdote, when my husband wants to cook something from home (even if it's just rice 'the way his mom makes it'), if he calls her and she gives him the directions he feels a lot better. (Confusing to me, seems simple enough to begin with but it makes him feel closer to home)

[Penguin_ie 5,993]

**** Moving from AOS to Moving Here.... forum as not related to the AOS process *****

[Laure&Colin 558]

The major difference between food in the USA and in the middle east and north Africa is the freshness: people are used to prepare their meal with fresh things only. When you're raised with fresh tomato sauce and you're given canned sauce, it's kind of a shock...

I didn't move to the US yet, but after a couple trips, I can tell you I'm gonna be very picky about where I buy food and what I put in my basket! No way I'll get my grocery from Costco and the like... Compared to French food, everything you find in this kind of stores is so totally tasteless. I remember having a roasted chicken at my mother in law that just tasted like cardboard

When possible, try to avoid prepared, ready to use food and prefer fresh ingredients. It does taste much better, and it's also a lot healthier.

I'm also thinking that the type of spices that are used in Moroccan cuisine and Mexican cuisine are completely different, it could be hard to get used to it too.

[hobbitofohio 10]

The major difference between food in the USA and in the middle east and north Africa is the freshness: people are used to prepare their meal with fresh things only. When you're raised with fresh tomato sauce and you're given canned sauce, it's kind of a shock...

I didn't move to the US yet, but after a couple trips, I can tell you I'm gonna be very picky about where I buy food and what I put in my basket! No way I'll get my grocery from Costco and the like... Compared to French food, everything you find in this kind of stores is so totally tasteless. I remember having a roasted chicken at my mother in law that just tasted like cardboard

When possible, try to avoid prepared, ready to use food and prefer fresh ingredients. It does taste much better, and it's also a lot healthier.

I'm also thinking that the type of spices that are used in Moroccan cuisine and Mexican cuisine are completely different, it could be hard to get used to it too.

i agree. We grow our own veggys in the back yard. ya, it is extra work, but worth the taste difference. Compare fresh tomato vine ripe with a thin skin vs green thick skin which is gas treated to be red. I could go on and on...

[Udella&Wiz 325]

I didn't read through every post here so forgive me if I'm repeating anything that has been said.

My first reaction is....don't indulge his childish behaviour. Act like you don't even notice - you're not his mother and he is an adult. He doesn't need to be coaxed into eating like a baby, he is hardly going to let himself starve. I have 3 teenagers and a husband and I've learned that you can;t please everyone - if they don't like what I make, I encourage them to make a sandwich or something.

I think you could certainly learn about some recipes from Morocco (or learn them together) and that would be really nice and make him feel at home. Whole Foods or a local market or an ethnic spice store have many different foods and options. He can't just sit there and complain if he doesn't have any suggestions. Essentially either help out with the food preparation or shut-up Said nicely of course.

I'm sure the culture shock between the US and Morocco is huge and like all of us he wasn't prepared for it. You should encourage him to get on VJ and create a profile for himself! Google Meet-up groups in your area for expat Moroccans. You may have to do this on your own and present your findings to him as he may not be in the mood to try anything new.

[Laure&Colin 558]

He wants everything fresh, fresh meat, veggies, especially bread.

I just read this. I'd never eat bread that's more than a day old. Most people here throw away the bread leftovers at the end of the day.

Send him to the bakery every day, everbody will benefit from that!

Freshly baked bread and platic wrapped "bread" don't have anything in common!

[Operator 1,927]

You obviously haven't taken him to In-N-Out yet. He will forget all about Moroccan food when he grabs hold of a double-double. Forget about fresh ingredients and fancy taste.

[Laure&Colin 558]

You obviously haven't taken him to In-N-Out yet. He will forget all about Moroccan food when he grabs hold of a double-double. Forget about fresh ingredients and fancy taste.

Well, I'm a big fan of In n Out, and the point of this place IS that they use fresh products. Their commercials say they peel and cut the potatoes in each restaurant every morning !

[Operator 1,927]

Well, I'm a big fan of In n Out, and the point of this place IS that they use fresh products. Their commercials say they peel and cut the potatoes in each restaurant every morning !

Well if the commercial says it...it must be true. The best fast food I ever had was in Toulon. A sandwich made on a Baguette (i doubt it was fresh) from ham and cheese and topped with french fries and then smashed in a sandwich press. Heaven!!

Fresh tomatoes on a burger do make a huge difference...sorry for hi-jacking the thread...please carry-on.

Edited November 23, 2011 by Operator

[Laure&Colin 558]

Well if the commercial says it...it must be true. The best fast food I ever had was in Toulon. A sandwich made on a Baguette (i doubt it was fresh) from ham and cheese and topped with french fries and then smashed in a sandwich press. Heaven!!

Fresh tomatoes on a burger do make a huge difference...sorry for hi-jacking the thread...please carry-on.

Geez, if you can't trust commercials, who can you trust?? I definitely do voluntarily close my eyes on additives and unhealthy ingredients when it comes to In n Out and the Cheesecake Factory....