RUBbette Wives & Housework, si man

[TBoneTX 45,654]

Today she "painted her hair" which means her robe was bunched around her waist and an old t-shirt was over this, then she had that bag over her head while the paint dries, cures, or whatecer that stuff does under there

Chicas and hair, sigh man. Mrs. T-B. does much the same with the painting, and she also has some sort of avocado paste for either hair or face -- I can never keep that straight, no man.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Chicas and hair, sigh man. Mrs. T-B. does much the same with the painting, and she also has some sort of avocado paste for either hair or face -- I can never keep that straight, no man.

OMG and this is where the RUB women are champions. It is understood that they have to look good wherever they go, they should be the best looking woman in the room. Put many of them together and there is likely going to be something unpleasant. There will definitely be talk in the car on the way home! "We want to ^£%^ all men around and kill all women around"

This applies to every part of their body, their clothes, their car (heaven forbid a scratch on the self propelled closet) and their man. The hair painting party is quite the ritual. Everything in the area gets covered with plastic, newspapers, trash bags over the chairs, etc. Then the paint is mixed, which I remind Alla smells very much like "chemicals" to me. "I am not going to EAT it" Is the justification. She wears an old red robe, some old T-shirts of mine (I have no need for them, "T-shirts are for children, not for men") Basically this is Ukrainian HAZ-MAT duty! The whole is like the messy construction need to build a beautiful resort or someting "Please pardon our mess, we are Renovating for your pleasure"

Personal appearance is the one area where all the stuff about "natural" gets thrown in the trash. Everything must be shaved, plucked, painted, laced, stretched, compressed, curled and finally, balanced on top of two spike heels.

I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

When talking to Sergey yesterday and his concern that his Russian girlfriend (and intended wife ) will change when brought to America...I told him "Don't worry, she will NEVER do what you tell her!"

We have electrical adaptors for various appliances for when we go to Ukraine. Alla bought a fancy one that has many different plugs which pop out like switchblades. I guess this thing can be used for any plug in the world. So we get to Ukraine and the one for the "Russian plugs" won't pop out. She gives it to me to "fix"

"What do you want me to do? It is the Russian plug. It is not going to do what I want or even what it should do" (as I struggle to get the 2 pins to pop out) Alla starts laughing, Momma is staring and repeating "Schto?" (what?) "It would probably do what it is supposed to for another man that looked at it, for one of its girlfriends it would pop out and make tea and cakes, but you think this Russian thing is going to do what it is supposed to for the husband???????"

I am reminded every day why the cold war lasted 50 years.

Edited November 19, 2012 by Gary and Alla

[TBoneTX 45,654]

I am reminded every day why the cold war lasted 50 years.

Some stories, si man! Regarding the painting: We guys tend to have 6 things in our bathroom -- a toothbrush, and toothpaste; a razor, and shaving cream; a bar of Dial soap; and a towel from a Holiday Inn. Conversely, chicas have a minimum of 439 things in their bathroom, si man... very few of which a man would be able to identify, no man.

Mrs. T-B. is very self-sufficient and, as stated, can repair (and has repaired) many things around the house, si man, without fuss, no man. She broke the plastic knob off our shower control the other day (while cleaning, which is somewhat of an unnatural act for her even though she's amazing when she does it), and part of a bolt or something got broken off within the remaining assembly. She researched the situation on-line, talked to a guy at Home Depot and got the parts, and will replace everything herself after I show her the water-shutoff valve by the street and give her some pliers, si man.

Normally, when a Latino refuses to lift a finger to help around the house, the reasoning is Es el trabajo del esposa ("it is the job of the wife"), si man. But Mrs. T-B. simply does this stuff, often without telling me, and it's cool, si man.

Regarding the self-propelled closet, someone rear-ended her new one last month, and we had to get a loaner vehicle for a couple of weeks. She parked it in our driveway, began to empty Mini-Bone's side of the back seat, got distracted, got back in, started to pull the vehicle into the garage, and banged the open right rear door on the post that splits our two garage doors. A small but very obvious door-ding resulted. She fretted a little about it at first, but then polished out what she could and "painted" the remainder, I presume entirely with her chica-stuff from the bathroom. The ding didn't disappear, but one would probably not notice it unless one went looking for it, no man.

I witnessed the toilet-paper phenomenon again tonight, si man. Mirabile visu, uffff man.

Edited November 20, 2012 by TBoneTX

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Some stories, si man! Regarding the painting: We guys tend to have 6 things in our bathroom -- a toothbrush, and toothpaste; a razor, and shaving cream; a bar of Dial soap; and a towel from a Holiday Inn. Conversely, chicas have a minimum of 439 things in their bathroom, si man... very few of which a man would be able to identify, no man.

Mrs. T-B. is very self-sufficient and, as stated, can repair (and has repaired) many things around the house, si man, without fuss, no man. She broke the plastic knob off our shower control the other day (while cleaning, which is somewhat of an unnatural act for her even though she's amazing when she does it), and part of a bolt or something got broken off within the remaining assembly. She researched the situation on-line, talked to a guy at Home Depot and got the parts, and will replace everything herself after I show her the water-shutoff valve by the street and give her some pliers, si man.

Normally, when a Latino refuses to lift a finger to help around the house, the reasoning is Es el trabajo del esposa ("it is the job of the wife"), si man. But Mrs. T-B. simply does this stuff, often without telling me, and it's cool, si man.

Regarding the self-propelled closet, someone rear-ended her new one last month, and we had to get a loaner vehicle for a couple of weeks. She parked it in our driveway, began to empty Mini-Bone's side of the back seat, got distracted, got back in, started to pull the vehicle into the garage, and banged the open right rear door on the post that splits our two garage doors. A small but very obvious door-ding resulted. She fretted a little about it at first, but then polished out what she could and "painted" the remainder, I presume entirely with her chica-stuff from the bathroom. The ding didn't disappear, but one would probably not notice it unless one went looking for it, no man.

I witnessed the toilet-paper phenomenon again tonight, si man. Mirabile visu, uffff man.

Alla backed out of the garage without opening the door. Twice. The car was OK. ufff man. She backed into a bollard at the bank, and pushed in her bumper cover which resulted in a frantic phone call of how "I beat my car, it is ruined!!!!!" She brought it home, I took the rubber bumper cover off, heated it with the hair dryer (one of those 439 things in the bathroom, and "POP" the dent came out. Some rubbing compound and wax....VOILA! She came out to look at her ruined car and... Boge moy!

[TBoneTX 45,654]

Fortunately, Mrs. T-B. is a pretty good driver. She did take the driver's-side mirror off while backing out of the garage, but our Salvadorean mechanic replaced it for $101 walk-out price. However, Mrs. T-B. back-seat-drives when I'm driving, which risks more danger than does the way I drive.

Mrs. T-B.: Slow down! The limit is 65, and you're going 80!

T-B.: Everyone ELSE is also going 80. This is the safest speed.

Mrs. T-B.: You're going to kill us! Slow DOWN!

T-B.: Will you please shut up? You're making me nervous.

Mrs. T-B.: I will NOT shut up, and you SLOW DOWN!

T-B.: Making me nervous is a greater danger than matching the prevailing speed of everyone else!

Mrs. T-B.: Remind me never, EVER to drive with you again.

T-B.: There's no need for that. Just silencio, por favor! [be quiet, please]

Mrs. T-B.: I will NOT shut up! You SLOW DOWN!

T-B.: No jodes [quit nagging]

Mrs. T-B.: That's it! I will NEVER drive with you again!

Mini-Bone: Uh-oh.

Any problems with RUBbettes and speed limits, huh man?

Edited November 21, 2012 by TBoneTX

[james&olya 1,121]

Fortunately, Mrs. T-B. is a pretty good driver. She did take the driver's-side mirror off while backing out of the garage, but our Salvadorean mechanic replaced it for $101 walk-out price. However, Mrs. T-B. back-seat-drives when I'm driving, which risks more danger than does the way I drive.

Mrs. T-B.: Slow down! The limit is 65, and you're going 80!

T-B.: Everyone ELSE is also going 80. This is the safest speed.

Mrs. T-B.: You're going to kill us! Slow DOWN!

T-B.: Will you please shut up? You're making me nervous.

Mrs. T-B.: I will NOT shut up, and you SLOW DOWN!

T-B.: Making me nervous is a greater danger than matching the prevailing speed of everyone else!

Mrs. T-B.: Remind me never, EVER to drive with you again.

T-B.: There's no need for that. Just silencio, por favor! [be quiet, please]

Mrs. T-B.: I will NOT shut up! You SLOW DOWN!

T-B.: No jodes [quit nagging]

Mrs. T-B.: That's it! I will NEVER drive with you again!

Mini-Bone: Uh-oh.

Any problems with RUBbettes and speed limits, huh man?

Olga already had her license in Russia and was a reasonably good driver. She was afraid driving an automatic transmission car would be difficult but she has managed somehow. I have had much better luck with my fast driving being tolerated by my Russian wife than I ever had with any American women I was with. In fact, the only aggressive and fast (and sober) driver that ever scared me to ride with was a Ukrainian woman I met before I met Olga. Ksusha truly did drive like the proverbial 'bat out of hell'! FSU women can be very fast!

[TBoneTX 45,654]

FSU women can be very fast!

Let's hear it for fast women, whee man.

On Mrs. T-B.'s last trip back to Ecuador, she tried to drive her #2 sister's car and nearly stripped the gears, when she could even get the thing INTO gear. It apparently wasn't like riding a bicycle, no man. Probably 99.44% or more of all vehicles in Ecu have manual transmissions, si man, because of the mountainous terrain in so many places.

[james&olya 1,121]

Let's hear it for fast women, whee man.

On Mrs. T-B.'s last trip back to Ecuador, she tried to drive her #2 sister's car and nearly stripped the gears, when she could even get the thing INTO gear. It apparently wasn't like riding a bicycle, no man. Probably 99.44% or more of all vehicles in Ecu have manual transmissions, si man, because of the mountainous terrain in so many places.

Same thing here, Olya tried to drive my vehicle, a 3/4 ton heavy duty diesel pick-up with a 6-spd manual transmission. In spite of having 10 years experience driving ONLY with a manual, she has already forgotten how to use the clutch and gear shift!

[Brad and Vika 129]

Any problems with RUBbettes and speed limits, huh man?

Since Vika had the baby she is super nervous on the road. Lots of hysterical gasping and twitching around. It does earn the occasional "will you please relax?", and does drive me crazy.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Same thing here, Olya tried to drive my vehicle, a 3/4 ton heavy duty diesel pick-up with a 6-spd manual transmission. In spite of having 10 years experience driving ONLY with a manual, she has already forgotten how to use the clutch and gear shift!

My truck is a 5 speed and Alla does not drive it. She tried and determined that "I probably should not try to drive AND shift, since it means I will not do either very well" She loves her little Toyota Yaris, it drives like a go cart and she can whip it into any paralell parking spot as easy as pie.

[TBoneTX 45,654]

Since Vika had the baby she is super nervous on the road. Lots of hysterical gasping and twitching around. It does earn the occasional "will you please relax?", and does drive me crazy.

Never underestimate the maternal instinct, no man.

She loves her little Toyota Yaris, it drives like a go cart and she can whip it into any paralell parking spot as easy as pie.

And it's a self-propelled closet, see man.

[TBoneTX 45,654]

Memo to Mrs. T-B.:

When drying clothes, PLEASE first remove the candy bars from the top of the dryer, sigh man.

[baron555 934]

The original plan was to have a "small" car (Chevy Malibu) for Alla since she was sure she couldn't drive the big car (Jeep Cherokee).

She forces me to drive the small car everyday to work (since it gets better gas mileage) and has come to love the commanding view of the road the large car offers.

She drives like an old lady on Sundays though.

[ONA 133]

She loves her little Toyota Yaris, it drives like a go cart and she can whip it into any paralell parking spot as easy as pie.

LOL

I drive a Yaris too, my husband keeps joking that if I ever can't find a parking space, I should just put the car into my purse