RUBbette Wives & Housework, si man

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

I love this thread! I spent a good two hours reading through it a few months back and would laugh so hard I thought the neighbors would wake up. I hope it keeps going. Ill have to add my two cents worth. Maybe a Ruble or two? I know my wife loved reading it too. She really liked the parts about leaving food out, or putting a huge pan in the fridge with only a small bit left. I dont want to rehash what has already been talked about but I will add some soon. I am lucky and have a wonderful wife who wants to learn, teach and do everything together. I can't complain one bit! Love you Honush! Soluyu!

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Well, the obvious reply to her uncontainment was probably "Yes, Dear" (not a bad one, when diplomacy is prudent).

As mentioned before, Mrs. T-B. is quite handy. Before immigrating, she had her own business, installing cell-phone antennae for customers all over Ecuador. She rode horses, scaled mountains, crossed rivers on barrel-barges, and waited to meet clients who'd walked 6 hours through the jungle to see her. She regularly climbed up on roofs to install the things.

When she came here, she was adept at putting up shelves and putting furniture together, and she even pulled a toilet and replaced the wax ring. The only help that she needed from me (I arrived home from work astonished) was to help her lift the toilet back up so that the bolts & their holes were aligned. She did the job well, but in the process somehow got bleach on our VERY best bathmat. When I noted this, she put on her innocent little-girl look and said, "It was an accident." Somehow, I forgave her. She went straight from that to making dinner (reservations).

She volunteers me to help her amigas (friends-who-are-girls) with English stuff -- school papers, resumes, etc. Some of that stuff takes hours. However, her amigas are so grateful that it makes it all worthwhile.

Sidebar: I'm also struck by how intensely the foreign Latinos want to learn English and how simultaneously self-conscious they are at their perceived lack of ability, si man and sigh man. I've come to conclude that the so-called "Hispanic takeover" of the U.S. (from bilingual education to "press 1 for English, 2 for Spanish") is not at all because of an unwillingness to assimilate, but rather hesitancy and fear.

I visit the local Mexican supermarket fairly reqularly. My "pidgin Spanish" is just enough to get by. When interacting with an employee, I ask "Habla usted Ingles?" (do you speak English)? If they say "no" or "not much," I say "yo tampoco" (me, neither). They relax noticeably and smile in relief, and we have an immediate bond. Last visit, I went to the butcher counter, where one guy whom I knew only by sight was working. I did the "yo tampoco" stuff and got the reaction above. His partner was my usual amigo, who does speak English, and I asked him, "Habla usted Ingles?" He replied, "Mucho!" I said, "Me, too." A lady customer who had witnessed the whole thing started cracking up and said (in English) "You're a really funny gringo!"

Alla is very conscious of her accent and English ability (which is very good technically) and gets frustrated when people do not understand what she is saying.

I happened to run across a couple in the hardware store yesterday and the woman clearly had a Russian accent. So I said "Privet" and got to talking and find out that the woman's name is Alla and she is from Lugahnsk Ukraine. When I said my wife was also named Alla, from Donetsk, she said "Boge Moy! (Oh my God) Is she an English teacher?" I said yes, and she told me "She was my English teacher for ESL! I can speak English because your wife taught me!" I came home and told her of the woman, who she remembered from class. I told her "Y'know you think you speak English so bad, but there are a lot of people who learned English from you, maybe you should feel a little better about your ability"

But it begs the question, Tbone...HOW grateful ARE her Amigas?

Alla will have nothing whatever to do with any kind of man's work or hanging a clock or even a picture. She prefers not to be home when I hang a picture or even cut the grass with that "horrible machine for cutting grass" AKA ...Lawn tractor. I have my shop in a building out back, garage size. She came out there exactly ONCE, looked in the door, made funny faces, mumbled something about "dirty..." (actually "dusty" is more accurate) and never came out there again. Any kind of big project gets done when she is in Ukraine for 2-3 weeks. Small projects, like painting or shelf hanging or garbage disposal changing...she goes shopping or while she is at work or school.

Changing a toilet wax ring? If I asked her to be in the house when I did such a thing she would ask me if I had lost my mind!

She is definitely not the TomBoy type.

[Oliverpb 2]

Our version of this is Vika telling me that I spent too much/bought too much. Some days sweets, some days other stuff. The key is to not deviate from her list. I am still working on it.

Dont you ever buy more than you need for that day, maybe two. We can always go back to the store tomorrow. and Help me if I get more than the list! or forget something on the list!

And yes, it is "Ghamboorgers" and "Horrible McDonald's food" Even the Ghamboorgers I make are "horrible" food. Why? Her meatballs are the same and are "good natural food", but flatten them out and put them on a bun and it becomes "horrible" I asked her about this. Her answer? "Have you seen the brush for the cat? I need to brush the cat"

The evil Ghamboorgers! In my wifes defense she sometimes, likes to get the Mcdonalds kartofel frie. I have asked my wife, what is the difference between your cutletta, and my hamburger, like you said, just flattened. "It just is better for you! do not ask. She says she knows what it is made of, and if you eat bread on the side you wont eat as much... true, but that would be like me asking my wife to not put sour cream in her soup, its just how you eat them. I dont fight this one like I used to.

[TBoneTX 45,284]

But it begs the question, Tbone...HOW grateful ARE her Amigas?

The question is largely moot, in that the amigas are married to their countrymen who all are at least somewhat macho. "Machista" behavior, besides representing a complete double standard, includes the green light to beat the ####### out of (or, at minimum, slap around) one's wife or girlfriend upon even the slightest suspicion that she is showing "improper" attention to another man. This keeps these mostly attractive amigas from throwing themselves at me, as every woman instantaneously wants to do.

And remember that Mrs. T-B. bought me cheap, si man (see "Mrs. T-B. & the Citizenship Test" in the Off Topic forum, see man).

When Mrs. T-B. was taking her English class, the other chicas there (from all countries) were uniformly jealous that she was married to a gringo and had the opportunity to practice and be tutored at home, si man.

Yesterday, Mrs. T-B. reset the clock in her car, si man. She had no idea what time it was, no man, but she reset the clock herself, si man.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Dont you ever buy more than you need for that day, maybe two. We can always go back to the store tomorrow. and Help me if I get more than the list! or forget something on the list!

The evil Ghamboorgers! In my wifes defense she sometimes, likes to get the Mcdonalds kartofel frie. I have asked my wife, what is the difference between your cutletta, and my hamburger, like you said, just flattened. "It just is better for you! do not ask. She says she knows what it is made of, and if you eat bread on the side you wont eat as much... true, but that would be like me asking my wife to not put sour cream in her soup, its just how you eat them. I dont fight this one like I used to.

Whenever I challenge the Ukrainian wisdom I get either the "I decline you" treatment with questions about dog collars, cat brushes or potato mashers, OR I get the more direct

"It would be best if you did not try to argue with me about such things, you cannot win, you will never be right"

I don't fight this stuff or even care, I do not even put the milk back in the refrigerator any more. Just funny to tease her sometimes and see which reaction I get

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

The question is largely moot, in that the amigas are married to their countrymen who all are at least somewhat macho. "Machista" behavior, besides representing a complete double standard, includes the green light to beat the ####### out of (or, at minimum, slap around) one's wife or girlfriend upon even the slightest suspicion that she is showing "improper" attention to another man. This keeps these mostly attractive amigas from throwing themselves at me, as every woman instantaneously wants to do.

And remember that Mrs. T-B. bought me cheap, si man (see "Mrs. T-B. & the Citizenship Test" in the Off Topic forum, see man).

When Mrs. T-B. was taking her English class, the other chicas there (from all countries) were uniformly jealous that she was married to a gringo and had the opportunity to practice and be tutored at home, si man.

Yesterday, Mrs. T-B. reset the clock in her car, si man. She had no idea what time it was, no man, but she reset the clock herself, si man.

It sucks that all the women want us so much. Da man! Alla tells people now "If a strange man takes your bags in a foreign airport and says "follow me" then just CALL THE POLICE!"

Alla does not put gas in her car if she can possibly avoid it. I do that on Saturday mornings usually and check her tires and oil and all that. A full tank usually lasts all week. It is about the only time I drive her car...AKA self propelled closet. When we go out, I drive and we use my car. She gets chauferred, which is the proper way for a woman to travel. I set up the oil change appointments, safety inspection appointments, etc. She WILL drive the car there and read a book while the mechanics do the work. She doesn't watch. She checked the clock in her office/sun room Sunday and said "Did you change all the clocks?" Yes. "The one in my car?" Yes. "Is it 5 minutes fast?" Yes. "I love you" There, she set the clock in her car.

[baron555 934]

She is definitely not the TomBoy type.

I can't say my wife is the TomBoy type but she is definitely no girly girl either.

She helps with my house repair chores no problem......just replaced the door from the kitchen to the garage and it turned out so well.......well, have to replace the patio door next weekend !!

So back in the back forty (we have 5 acres) I have a 40 foot by 70 foot fenced in area that I used for Agility training with my dog). He's retired now so the area was not in use and Alla determined with it being higher up on the rise where the back land slopes down towards the creek, it would have better drainage than the usual garden spot in the old paddock next to the barn. So this past Spring I tilled up about 2/3 of it and she and another Russian lady who she met put in a massive garden this year; growing a little bit of everything, even some exotic stuff from Russia/Eastern Europe. The two ladies, on their own, maintained and watered this area virtually every day.

Anyways, I came home a little late the other night and find Alla in the back turning over the soil, etc. As we all know it's getting darker every evening. Being the manly man, I proceeded to repair (replace bulbs) in the four halogen lights I had installed..."OK, now you can shovel all night!".

And yesterday, for about the fifth weekend in the a row, we drove the tractor and cart (10 CF) to the neighbors across the street where we shoveled and hauled back two cart loads of horse manure. Some she's tilling into the soil for next year and the remainder goes into one of two large compost piles we have going.

She had had McDonalds once prior to coming to the US. Since being here, we've been there twice, once just to try another wonderful American invention....the drive thru.... and the other just to get Leonid from frys.

Both do love "Papa's Burgers", home ground Angus mixed with onion soup mix, served with lettuce, tomato and cheese on home baked bread.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

I can't say my wife is the TomBoy type but she is definitely no girly girl either.

She helps with my house repair chores no problem......just replaced the door from the kitchen to the garage and it turned out so well.......well, have to replace the patio door next weekend !!

So back in the back forty (we have 5 acres) I have a 40 foot by 70 foot fenced in area that I used for Agility training with my dog). He's retired now so the area was not in use and Alla determined with it being higher up on the rise where the back land slopes down towards the creek, it would have better drainage than the usual garden spot in the old paddock next to the barn. So this past Spring I tilled up about 2/3 of it and she and another Russian lady who she met put in a massive garden this year; growing a little bit of everything, even some exotic stuff from Russia/Eastern Europe. The two ladies, on their own, maintained and watered this area virtually every day.

Anyways, I came home a little late the other night and find Alla in the back turning over the soil, etc. As we all know it's getting darker every evening. Being the manly man, I proceeded to repair (replace bulbs) in the four halogen lights I had installed..."OK, now you can shovel all night!".

And yesterday, for about the fifth weekend in the a row, we drove the tractor and cart (10 CF) to the neighbors across the street where we shoveled and hauled back two cart loads of horse manure. Some she's tilling into the soil for next year and the remainder goes into one of two large compost piles we have going.

She had had McDonalds once prior to coming to the US. Since being here, we've been there twice, once just to try another wonderful American invention....the drive thru.... and the other just to get Leonid from frys.

Both do love "Papa's Burgers", home ground Angus mixed with onion soup mix, served with lettuce, tomato and cheese on home baked bread.

Well then my Alla was wrong that your Alla is "just like her" Perhaps in the business sense. We have no vegetable garden despite plenty of room ("We buy at the store, food is cheap") She has her flowers she cares for which means she waters them if needed and will put on her Dasiy Dukes and heels (No, I am not joking, Have to look attractive if we are going to do this) and pull weeds wearing dainty gloves, unless it is a big weed or has "sticky things", then she calls me and points at the offending weed, makes the pouty face and I remove the offender.

When she was in the Komsomol, she had to go help harvest potatoes and such. They piled the school kids in trucks and took them to the fields outside town "like cows" and then told them to pick crops. Alla said she was always FAR behind the others, usually crying about how her hands were being damaged and getting yelled at for not doing her duty to the Rodina!

[baron555 934]

Well then my Alla was wrong that your Alla is "just like her" Perhaps in the business sense.

Yes they are the same but then my Alla will show her "country" side and forgo the heels for Muck Boots and gloves and a shovel. All this gardening and "hard work" is like a giant science experiment for her. See below.

When she was in the Komsomol, she had to go help harvest potatoes and such. They piled the school kids in trucks and took them to the fields outside town "like cows" and then told them to pick crops. Alla said she was always FAR behind the others, usually crying about how her hands were being damaged and getting yelled at for not doing her duty to the Rodina!

The the same here. She remembers being bussed to a field in southern Russia, where she grew up, and picking potatoes in the hot sun. That was her only experience with gardening.

Now she grows and eats her own creations and has become quite handy with it all.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

But Phil, I would agree that we need to give our kids some of the treatment our wives had.

Give me some of these kids for 2 years work in construction in Ukraine and they will never complain about anything ever again.

[TBoneTX 45,284]

two cart loads of horse manure

Were you visited recently by political candidates, huh man?

She had had McDonalds once prior to coming to the US. Since being here, we've been there twice, once just to try another wonderful American invention....the drive thru.... and the other just to get Leonid from frys.

We go to McDonald's far too often, chiefly to let Mini-Bone run around in the play area and to get him some French fries. Of course, we usually decide to eat there for reasons of convenience and fatigue, zzz man.

[TBoneTX 45,284]

Alla does not put gas in her car if she can possibly avoid it. I do that on Saturday mornings usually and check her tires and oil and all that. A full tank usually lasts all week. It is about the only time I drive her car...AKA self propelled closet.

It's similar here, si man. However, whenever I ask Mrs. T-B. how much gas she has, she looks blank and says "about half." Therefore, I make sure either that we all go out somewhere in her car once a week or that I drive it on an evening errand, so that I can fill the tank when it's appropriate to.

When we go out, I drive and we use my car. She gets chauferred, which is the proper way for a woman to travel.

(Sigh, man) We typically go somewhere on Saturdays. It has to be in her car because of Mini-B.'s car seat. The speed limit on various highways here is 65 mph, and of course the prevailing speed is around 80. Anyone who's driving slower than that gets tailgated, horn-blasted, and zoomed around with inches to spare. Therefore, I drive 80. Mrs. T-B. (in the back seat with Mini-B.) harps nonstop, "Why are you going 80? Go 65! Think of your wife and baby!" I reply that I am thinking of that, which is why I'm going 80. This doesn't register. We usually yell back & forth until we get where we're going. She invariably says, "Remind me NEVER to ride with you EVER again! Next time, I'll take MY car and you take YOURS, and you can drive like a loco." I say, "OK, then -- I'll get to where we're going, have fun, head back home, and pass you coming the other direction." This usually gains me a temporary victory.

Her car is not as much a self-propelled closet as it is a Victoria's Secret adjunct. If I jostle even one of the creams or lotions or potions (all of which are strewn on all seats, spilling out from the console, or precariously jammed into the doorwells -- all items half- or wide-open), I risk smelling like a suspicious fruitcake. The combined stench of this girl-stuff is partially mitigated by half-closed used diapers or whatever Mini-B. has spilled in the back seat. Fortunately, I'm in sole charge of the air conditioner, so I full-blast it directly toward the back, which disperses most of the heavily perfumed stuff away from me, sneeze man.

I set up the oil change appointments, safety inspection appointments, etc. She WILL drive the car there and read a book while the mechanics do the work. She doesn't watch.

This is probably typical of most chicas. I set these appointments but usually attend them myself, watching the mechanics like a hawk, because so many of them couldn't find their butt with both hands plus outside help. It's not quite clear that Mrs. T-B. understands this concept.

She checked the clock in her office/sun room Sunday and said "Did you change all the clocks?" Yes. "The one in my car?" Yes. "Is it 5 minutes fast?" Yes. "I love you" There, she set the clock in her car.

, man

[baron555 934]

Were you visited recently by political candidates, huh man?W

Nope.....just improving our survival skills.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Nope.....just improving our survival skills.

Wait. You are not EATING it are you?

[TBoneTX 45,284]

Wait. You are not EATING it are you?

Perhaps after this election, we might have to get used to it.