RUBbette Wives & Housework, si man

[TBoneTX 45,654]

Yesterday marked a week since we returned Mrs. T-B.'s aunt to Ecuador after 3 weeks that felt like 8, aarrgh man.

Rule of Life: Never, EVER allow more than one Ecuatoriana in a house for longer than a same-day visit, no man.

During said visit, Mrs. T-B. and Aunt-Mrs.-T-B. created, in nonstop fashion, every conceivable kind of noxious native-Ecuadorian foodstuff, palatable to and edible only by them, in multiple cauldrons on the stove. The exhaust fan remained a mystery, so the poison gases permeated the house -- through the A/C system, when the dwelling was not maintained at the constant 85 degrees F. that appears to suit every Ecuatoriana. The pollution rose to the ceiling, and the heavy-water vapor swirled at ankle level -- indeed, at times, the cat herself disappeared for hours amidst the gassy, gassy dew.

As is apparently every Ecuatoriana's wont, every dish and utensil in the house was used for every kitchen project, at least thrice daily, and fice on Sundays. Splatters -- nay man, puddles -- of culinary creation lay like patchwork on every square foot of kitchen-counter and kitchen-floor space that was not occupied by heaping stacks of cookware soiled with congealed -- nay man, vulcanized -- detritus. Colanders writhed unwashed with slimy tentacles of innumerable, innominate native vegetables and spices. Sponges and scrubbers lay crushed and forlorn at sink bottom, bloated to twice their size with layer upon layer of gross #######.

The evil female cackling continued, unabated, until the merriment ended with the blessed advent of return-air-ticket and surrender-of-I-94 time.

After taking the better part of this week to re-scrub and re-wash every plate and utensil to gringo standards (requiring the liberal -- nay man, lavish -- use of carbon tetrachloride in most instances), I finally reorganized the silverware drawer and found therein an ample colony of chickpeas, smashed and subsequently congealed, where the tablespoons had resided in happier times.

Is this the same with multiple RUBbettes, huh man?

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Yesterday marked a week since we returned Mrs. T-B.'s aunt to Ecuador after 3 weeks that felt like 8, aarrgh man.

Rule of Life: Never, EVER allow more than one Ecuatoriana in a house for longer than a same-day visit, no man.

During said visit, Mrs. T-B. and Aunt-Mrs.-T-B. created, in nonstop fashion, every conceivable kind of noxious native-Ecuadorian foodstuff, palatable to and edible only by them, in multiple cauldrons on the stove. The exhaust fan remained a mystery, so the poison gases permeated the house -- through the A/C system, when the dwelling was not maintained at the constant 85 degrees F. that appears to suit every Ecuatoriana. The pollution rose to the ceiling, and the heavy-water vapor swirled at ankle level -- indeed, at times, the cat herself disappeared for hours amidst the gassy, gassy dew.

As is apparently every Ecuatoriana's wont, every dish and utensil in the house was used for every kitchen project, at least thrice daily, and fice on Sundays. Splatters -- nay man, puddles -- of culinary creation lay like patchwork on every square foot of kitchen-counter and kitchen-floor space that was not occupied by heaping stacks of cookware soiled with congealed -- nay man, vulcanized -- detritus. Colanders writhed unwashed with slimy tentacles of innumerable, innominate native vegetables and spices. Sponges and scrubbers lay crushed and forlorn at sink bottom, bloated to twice their size with layer upon layer of gross #######.

The evil female cackling continued, unabated, until the merriment ended with the blessed advent of return-air-ticket and surrender-of-I-94 time.

After taking the better part of this week to re-scrub and re-wash every plate and utensil to gringo standards (requiring the liberal -- nay man, lavish -- use of carbon tetrachloride in most instances), I finally reorganized the silverware drawer and found therein an ample colony of chickpeas, smashed and subsequently congealed, where the tablespoons had resided in happier times.

Is this the same with multiple RUBbettes, huh man?

I think yes. We will find out. I get along famously with my MIL but Alla and her fight like cats and dogs. As you know the RUB woman is the head of the house, it is HER house, I am allowed to live there. The problem comes in with two RUB women is they BOTH think they are the head of the house. I stay out of that, safely. We have filed an I-130 for Alla's mom so it should be interesting. I am told we will need a bigger house and her mom will need more or less separate "quarters" The room of the garage idea, I am told, is not satisfactory. I think we are going to be looking for a place with a MIL apartment. Or maybe just getting her a small apartment nearby

[TBoneTX 45,654]

I think yes. We will find out. I get along famously with my MIL but Alla and her fight like cats and dogs. As you know the RUB woman is the head of the house, it is HER house, I am allowed to live there. The problem comes in with two RUB women is they BOTH think they are the head of the house. I stay out of that, safely. We have filed an I-130 for Alla's mom so it should be interesting. I am told we will need a bigger house and her mom will need more or less separate "quarters" The room of the garage idea, I am told, is not satisfactory. I think we are going to be looking for a place with a MIL apartment. Or maybe just getting her a small apartment nearby

Divide and conquer, si man. I have a feeling that RUBbettes are tougher to live with than Ecuatorianas.

Anyone else, huh man?

[Brad and Vika 129]

Divide and conquer, si man. I have a feeling that RUBbettes are tougher to live with than Ecuatorianas.

Anyone else, huh man?

My MIL is a looooong way from moving here (no pun intended). She and Vika get along fine, but I think Vika came from MIL's house recently enough that the pecking order isn't as muddled. They do clash from time to time, but my Russian gets really bad when that happens, and I am completely unable to help or mediate . They usually work it out with MIL scolding and the missus sulking for awhile, but sometimes the reverse. They generally seem to enjoy each others company though, and I can totally see them living in the same house.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

My MIL is a looooong way from moving here (no pun intended). She and Vika get along fine, but I think Vika came from MIL's house recently enough that the pecking order isn't as muddled. They do clash from time to time, but my Russian gets really bad when that happens, and I am completely unable to help or mediate . They usually work it out with MIL scolding and the missus sulking for awhile, but sometimes the reverse. They generally seem to enjoy each others company though, and I can totally see them living in the same house.

The issue comes in for us when it is ALLA's house the MIL is giving orders in. Alla has her own place, and has for years, and of course OUR house is "Alla's" house so no one has any say in it but her. She bought her mother her own flat across the street so she could be "boss" of her own house, but there was no one there to be boss of, so she came over every morning and took over Alla's place.

Now to be fair, Alla was out of town a lot with her job so Momma just kind of took over, except for problems which she always bombarded Alla with when Alla returned.

Perhaps, just perhaps, it will be easier when I am there to handle the burned out light bulbs, clogged toilets, leaky sinks, etc. Alla says it is one of the best things about me is she no longer has to worry about that stuff (which in Ukraine meant calling the local alcoholic plumber or electrician and waiting for him to arrive)We also seem to have a lot less of those problems in our house than one experiences in 55 year old Stalin Bunkers.

There was also issues of the children, who were chioldren at the time and now are not. So maybe a lot of the flashpoints have been removed. Alla does not think so "You do not know my mother! She is still the Soviet District Engineer and everyone works for her...she is like a Marshall Zhukov!"

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

My MIL is a looooong way from moving here (no pun intended). She and Vika get along fine, but I think Vika came from MIL's house recently enough that the pecking order isn't as muddled. They do clash from time to time, but my Russian gets really bad when that happens, and I am completely unable to help or mediate . They usually work it out with MIL scolding and the missus sulking for awhile, but sometimes the reverse. They generally seem to enjoy each others company though, and I can totally see them living in the same house.

I'm with you Brad! Stay FAR away from that stuff! So far I am the good guy to both of them and fortunately Alla does not ask me to take sides, which would actually be asking for my opinion of how to run the house...which she won't do Thank you God! I'll just be ober here fixing the toilet.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Divide and conquer, si man. I have a feeling that RUBbettes are tougher to live with than Ecuatorianas.

Anyone else, huh man?

I never lived with an Ecuatorian. I dated a Peruvian girl named "Pilar" many moons ago. She was smokin' hot and until I went to Ukraine was the most beautiful girl I ever dated.

Ukrainian women are not pushovers, not submissive (Alla says she is submissive, yeah right) and have very distinct lines of responsibility and double standards. The most important double standard is that the woman can flip out hysterically over tiny little nuisances and the men have to remain calm and cool and fix the nuisance. If the man loses his cool, he is not a man, really and must be at least part woman.

Also it is not uncommon for the woman to be possessive and jealous (Alaa says she is "horribly jealous") yet flirt and enjoy being hit on by every man (or woman) around because it makes them feel good.

Once you get all that down, then let them do their thing and everything will be fine, they WILL do it and they WILL care for you, just don't try to tell them how.

Edited October 31, 2012 by Gary and Alla

[Brad and Vika 129]

OUR house is "Alla's" house so no one has any say in it but her.

It ain't right, but I understand

Ukrainian women are not pushovers, not submissive (Alla says she is submissive, yeah right) and have very distinct lines of responsibility and double standards. The most important double standard is that the woman can flip out hysterically over tiny little nuisances and the men have to remain calm and cool and fix the nuisance. If the man loses his cool, he is not a man, really and must be at least part woman.

I get a full dose of this too. There is only so much I can take in the way of hysterics before I do loose my temper though. I don't get hysterical, I get a bad case of knock-it-off.

Try turning the double standard on its head once. It takes cunning and patience, but yields really funny results.

Vika thinks men cannot possibly run a kitchen (thousands of trained chefs providing evidence to the contrary). She insists upon the kitchen being her area. Fine with me. The problem is that she is completely disorganized about it. For example, we have pasta literally in five different places. I find salt and pepper on a shelf with the water glasses, the next day its honey and syrup right next to dish soap. I have reorganized several times, and she puts things all over again. Now, mind you, a Ukrainian woman is never wrong, and never admits so.

One day Vika comes home from the mall and finds me eating a McDonald's ghamburger (not hamburger). She immediately goes into turbo-scold, "why are you eating that #######, you know it is bad for you?". I giver her the dead-eye, and respond "I wanted to make pasta, but I couldn't find it. If the pasta were in one place that was the same every time, I would eat that instead". At some point, you see the light go on To get me to eat something better she will have to 1) cook it, 2) admit the kitchen is not organized, and/or 3) change the way she does it. No WAY that is going to happen.

Her next statement is "did you check the mailbox, I know the cable bill is here". In other words, the pasta stays where it is, and I eat what I want today

Honestly, she mostly just cooks what she wants me to eat. The story is true though.

[baron555 934]

Her next statement is "did you check the mailbox, I know the cable bill is here". In other words, the pasta stays where it is, and I eat what I want today

I am truly sorry for you guys. Maybe if you had married a Russian woman instead............never mind.

My wife is very organized, allows me to cook in the kitchen, has learned how to use Tupperware and everything is usually back into the same place.

Now if I can get her to learn how to properly close a Zip-loc bag and that one doesn't have to twist the top to really get a good seal.........I digress....but you all understand.

I pick my battles....actually there are no battles......only triumphs!!!

[TBoneTX 45,654]

She insists upon the kitchen being her area. Fine with me. The problem is that she is completely disorganized about it. For example, we have pasta literally in five different places. I find salt and pepper on a shelf with the water glasses, the next day its honey and syrup right next to dish soap.

Yours does this, too, si man?

Honestly, she mostly just cooks what she wants me to eat.

Yours does this, too, si man.

Mrs. T-B. keeps a disastrous kitchen but can clean it up rather nicely when need demands, such as when Mama T-B. is planning a visit or Mini-Bone's playgroup is due to come over. I have observed that we have ourselves, two kids (Mini-B. and his older sister, the cat), and multiple pets -- the kitchen ants. I tell Mrs. T-B. that since they are her pets (she continuously feeds them, after all), she is responsible for them. I'm not sure that this has ever registered, no man.

of course OUR house is "Alla's" house so no one has any say in it but her.

Well, G-Bone, even if you do seem to be a bit... uh, whipped from time to time, it is beyond dispute -- and frequently reported -- that you always get to wake up naked next to her, whee man.

My wife [...] has learned how to use Tupperware

Does yours place it on the bottom shelf of the dishwasher, where (without preventive correction) it would be immediately blasted all around the innards of the machine and come to rest, filled with boiling-hot water, atop items that would take expert toweling to dry off if said water spilled on them, huh man? Edited November 1, 2012 by TBoneTX

[TBoneTX 45,654]

Another thing is that, when I announce an intention to go to the supermarket, Mrs. T-B. flashes her puppy-dog eyes and says "Sometimes, husbands buy Cheetos for their wives, and the wives eat them. Slurrrrrp!" I dutifully procure the Cheetos and return with them in timely fashion. Mrs. T-B. invariably looks sad and says, in very forlorn fashion, "Why did you buy me a BIG bag? Now I will eat all of them and get gorda [fat]." If I buy her two of the small bags, she will say "Why did you buy me more than one bag? [etc.]."

My completely sound reasoning is that if I buy only one of the small bags, she will eat the entire contents in short order and want additional Cheetos sooner. I have never explained this logic in so many words, but somehow I doubt its effectiveness, sigh man.

Here, for the record, is Mrs. T-B. without activation of the puppy-dog eyes, see man:

Edited November 1, 2012 by TBoneTX

[Brad and Vika 129]

Another thing is that, when I announce an intention to go to the supermarket, Mrs. T-B. flashes her puppy-dog eyes and says "Sometimes, husbands buy Cheetos for their wives, and the wives eat them. Slurrrrrp!" I dutifully procure the Cheetos and return with them in timely fashion. Mrs. T-B. invariably looks sad and says, in very forlorn fashion, "Why did you buy me a BIG bag? Now I will eat all of them and get gorda [fat]." If I buy her two of the small bags, she will say "Why did you buy me more than one bag? [etc.]."

My completely sound reasoning is that if I buy only one of the small bags, she will eat the entire contents in short order and want additional Cheetos sooner. I have never explained this logic in so many words, but somehow I doubt its effectiveness, sigh man.

Here, for the record, is Mrs. T-B. without activation of the puppy-dog eyes, see man:

Our version of this is Vika telling me that I spent too much/bought too much. Some days sweets, some days other stuff. The key is to not deviate from her list. I am still working on it.

[SMR 368]

I never lived with an Ecuatorian. I dated a Peruvian girl named "Pilar" many moons ago. She was smokin' hot and until I went to Ukraine was the most beautiful girl I ever dated.

Ukrainian women are not pushovers, not submissive (Alla says she is submissive, yeah right) and have very distinct lines of responsibility and double standards. The most important double standard is that the woman can flip out hysterically over tiny little nuisances and the men have to remain calm and cool and fix the nuisance. If the man loses his cool, he is not a man, really and must be at least part woman.

Also it is not uncommon for the woman to be possessive and jealous (Alaa says she is "horribly jealous") yet flirt and enjoy being hit on by every man (or woman) around because it makes them feel good.

Once you get all that down, then let them do their thing and everything will be fine, they WILL do it and they WILL care for you, just don't try to tell them how.

Gary, it sounds to me like you're borderline #####-whipped. Which is fine if you're into that sort of thing.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

It ain't right, but I understand

I get a full dose of this too. There is only so much I can take in the way of hysterics before I do loose my temper though. I don't get hysterical, I get a bad case of knock-it-off.

Try turning the double standard on its head once. It takes cunning and patience, but yields really funny results.

Vika thinks men cannot possibly run a kitchen (thousands of trained chefs providing evidence to the contrary). She insists upon the kitchen being her area. Fine with me. The problem is that she is completely disorganized about it. For example, we have pasta literally in five different places. I find salt and pepper on a shelf with the water glasses, the next day its honey and syrup right next to dish soap. I have reorganized several times, and she puts things all over again. Now, mind you, a Ukrainian woman is never wrong, and never admits so.

One day Vika comes home from the mall and finds me eating a McDonald's ghamburger (not hamburger). She immediately goes into turbo-scold, "why are you eating that #######, you know it is bad for you?". I giver her the dead-eye, and respond "I wanted to make pasta, but I couldn't find it. If the pasta were in one place that was the same every time, I would eat that instead". At some point, you see the light go on To get me to eat something better she will have to 1) cook it, 2) admit the kitchen is not organized, and/or 3) change the way she does it. No WAY that is going to happen.

Her next statement is "did you check the mailbox, I know the cable bill is here". In other words, the pasta stays where it is, and I eat what I want today

Honestly, she mostly just cooks what she wants me to eat. The story is true though.

"Turbo scold" I get that and then I get "But you are an adult man and I am not going to tell you what to (eat, drink, etc.)" Sure. Not only do they NEVER admit they were wrong, Alla tells me flat out "You can never be right, I do not know why you would bother to discuss anything"

The last part about how they just ignore things and change the subject...OMG they have that down to an art! If they do not want to talk about it, or if they get caught in the untenable position, they just ignore it forever. Just ignore.

"Alla, did you (insert problem here)?"

"have you cjecked the air in my tires? Don't you need to do that every week or something"

"Alla, answer the question..."

"Did you feed the dog? I need to wash my white pants, do you know if we have Chlor (bleach)?"

"Alla...never mind. THIS is why the Cold War lasted 50 years!"

"You only think it is over"

And yes, it is "Ghamboorgers" and "Horrible McDonald's food" Even the Ghamboorgers I make are "horrible" food. Why? Her meatballs are the same and are "good natural food", but flatten them out and put them on a bun and it becomes "horrible" I asked her about this. Her answer? "Have you seen the brush for the cat? I need to brush the cat"

The latest is "I decline you" WHAT? "Yes, like on my phone, if someone calls you can just decline them. I decline you" "You can't decline me" "Yes I can, I decline you" I can only laugh and walk away

Edited November 1, 2012 by Gary and Alla

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Gary, it sounds to me like you're borderline #####-whipped. Which is fine if you're into that sort of thing.

If the ##### is good enough I am definitely into it. Alla is good enough.

Truthfully, none of that stuff matters to me, not worth getting in a dither over it. She gets what she wants, I get what I want. Works pretty well.