RUBbette Wives & Housework, si man

[TBoneTX 45,654]

####### water

Isn't this the Norfolk/Va. Beach area of Virginia, huh man?

[TBoneTX 45,654]

a shelf with 84 health and beauty products on it

Oh, brother, si man...

A man typically has 6 things in his bathroom: A toothbrush, & toothpaste; a razor, & shaving-cream; a bar of Dial soap; and a towel from a Holiday Inn. Women, conversely, have a minimum of 439 things in THEIR bathroom... very few of which a man would be able to identify, uff man.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

I think I finally understand Russia's seatless toilet phenomena...it's simple. If men and women can't decide about the seat being up or down, they will have to do without ANY seat. Argument ended. No more toilet power struggle. Ingenious.

Besides, toilet seats are so "western."

Brilliant!

Now explain "squat toilets" Alla is not a complainer about toilet seats, but if she were I would simply point out that she undoubtedly used her share of those contraptions and she should be happy for a "white friend" with a seat at all!

The first time I ran across one of those, which was all too shortly after arriving, it was one of those memorable experiences..like where you were when you learned Kennedy had been killed. The man on the moon kind of thing. It was in a government building in Odessa and there were four hot girls smoking right outside the stall. It turned out the bathroom was also the smoking area for the employees

I remember clearly that I thought if my mother were faced with that choice...she would pull out a rattail comb from her purse and drive it into her brain ending it all right then and there.

My thoughts were "Ok, so kind of like doing it in the woods but with a porcelian target and four girls watching. No problem"

Oh, brother, si man...

A man typically has 6 things in his bathroom: A toothbrush, & toothpaste; a razor, & shaving-cream; a bar of Dial soap; and a towel from a Holiday Inn. Women, conversely, have a minimum of 439 things in THEIR bathroom... very few of which a man would be able to identify, uff man.

Your insight scares me sometimes TBone.

[AmyWrites 593]

My wife tells me every day I'm luckier than most Americans.

You are, she's gorgeous

[AmyWrites 593]

Brilliant!

Now explain "squat toilets" Alla is not a complainer about toilet seats, but if she were I would simply point out that she undoubtedly used her share of those contraptions and she should be happy for a "white friend" with a seat at all!

The first time I ran across one of those, which was all too shortly after arriving, it was one of those memorable experiences..like where you were when you learned Kennedy had been killed. The man on the moon kind of thing. It was in a government building in Odessa and there were four hot girls smoking right outside the stall. It turned out the bathroom was also the smoking area for the employees

I remember clearly that I thought if my mother were faced with that choice...she would pull out a rattail comb from her purse and drive it into her brain ending it all right then and there.

My thoughts were "Ok, so kind of like doing it in the woods but with a porcelian target and four girls watching. No problem"

Your insight scares me sometimes TBone.

For women, they're much easier to pee on. Um... sometimes when you squat over a normal toilet, if you don't get the perfect angle, the piss will run down your leg. On a squat toilet, since you're squatting much lower, this will not happen ever.

I've never used them for other types of business tho....

[slim 1,530]

I think I finally understand Russia's seatless toilet phenomena...it's simple. If men and women can't decide about the seat being up or down, they will have to do without ANY seat. Argument ended. No more toilet power struggle. Ingenious.

Kind of like how they deal with hostage situations. "So we will be blow up entire seatre."

A man typically has 6 things in his bathroom: A toothbrush, & toothpaste; a razor, & shaving-cream; a bar of Dial soap; and a towel from a Holiday Inn. Women, conversely, have a minimum of 439 things in THEIR bathroom... very few of which a man would be able to identify, uff man.

Of those 439 things, I can identify 420. "Sh!t you don't need, sh!t you don't need, sh!t you don't need, toothbrush, sh!t you don't need..."

You are, she's gorgeous

She's alright.

For women, they're much easier to pee on. Um... sometimes when you squat over a normal toilet, if you don't get the perfect angle, the piss will run down your leg. On a squat toilet, since you're squatting much lower, this will not happen ever.

You should look into the female urinals they have out now. It's basically just a big funnel you put over your lady parts and it'll catch all the pee. Fits in a designer handbag just fine.

[eekee 182]

Actually the seats are gone because people STAND on them, use them like a squat toilet, and then the seats break off.

I wouldn't stick something I peed into in my purse.

[slim 1,530]

I wouldn't stick something I peed into in my purse.

*Totally inappropriate joke omitted.*

[baron555 934]

Remember the piss troughs they used to have at ballparks! Simplicity in action!

[visaveteran1 33]

Remember the piss troughs they used to have at ballparks! Simplicity in action!

Yeah, those are from my youth. Oversized gutters using gravity to do the work. Haven't seen one of those in many a moon.

[TBoneTX 45,654]

Remember the piss troughs they used to have at ballparks! Simplicity in action!

Two guys are in an airport men's room, pissing into a trough urinal. The guy on the left glances at the guy on the right and says, "You're Jewish, nu?"

"Why, yes, I am!" says the second guy, mildly surprised. They continue pissing.

"And you're from Chicago, right?" asks the first guy.

"Why, yes, I am!" says the second guy, more surprised. "How did you know?" They continue pissing.

"And your mohel was Rabbi Schvartz, wasn't it?" asks the first guy.

"Why, yes, he was!" says the second guy. "Say -- we've never met before. How do you know all about me?"

"You know how Rabbi Schvartz cuts on the bias?" asks the first guy.

"Yeah," says the second guy.

"You're peeing on my leg."

---

TWENTY TYPES OF GUYS WHOM YOU MIGHT MEET IN THE MEN'S ROOM

1. EXCITABLE: Shorts half twisted around, cannot find hole, rips shorts.

2. SOCIABLE: Joins friends in piss whether he has to or not.

3. CROSS-EYED: Looks into next urinal to see how the other guy is fixed.

4. TIMID: Cannot piss if someone is watching; flushes urinal, comes back later.

5. INDIFFERENT: All urinals being used; pisses in sink.

6. CLEVER: No hands, fixes tie, looks around & usually pisses on floor.

7. WORRIED: Not sure of where he has been lately; makes quick inspection.

8. FRIVOLOUS: Plays stream up, down & across urinals; tries to hit fly or bug.

9. ABSENT-MINDED: Opens vest, pulls out tie, pisses in pants.

10. CHILDISH: Pisses directly in bottom of urinal, likes to see it bubble.

11. SNEAK: Farts silently while pissing, acts very innocent, knows man in next stall will be blamed.

12. PATIENT: Stands very close for a long time waiting, reads with free hand.

13. DESPERATE: Waits in long line, grinding teeth; pisses in pants.

14. TOUGH: Bangs ####### on side of urinal to dry it.

15. EFFICIENT: Waits until he has to #######, then does both.

16. FAT: Backs up & takes a blind shot at urinal; pisses in shoe.

17. LITTLE: Stands on box, falls in, drowns.

18. DRUNK: Holds left thumb in right hand, pisses in pants.

19. DISGRUNTLED: Stands for a while, gives up, walks away.

20. CONCEITED: Holds two-inch ####### like a baseball bat.

Edited December 9, 2011 by TBoneTX

[TBoneTX 45,654]

Dealt with all of those except the rice... da man!

Understand, I am not saying Vika has the freeze/thaw/cook thing down pat Things do make it into the fridge though. She says the kitchen is like her office (respect the work buddy... and I do), very clean. We also have loads of TBone issues like throwing too many dishes with zero pre rinse into the dishwash machine. She did pick up on the solution to blocking the spraying arm though

Issues added as of tonight, sigh man: Please don't slop uneaten rice directly into the twice-used steel scrubber that's already buried at the bottom of the sink amidst avocado-peels, chicken grease, and fruit-stickers that say "Product of Guatemala," no man. Please make sure that the water will drain from the completely-filled-with-dishes side of the sink, si man, and please avoid letting a silverware item slip into the garbage-grinder that has to be turned on if the water is to drain from the completely-filled-with-dishes side of the sink, si man.

This all engenders a sinking feeling when it comes time to dredge the dishes, sigh man.

[visaveteran1 33]

Issues added as of tonight, sigh man: Please don't slop uneaten rice directly into the twice-used steel scrubber that's already buried at the bottom of the sink amidst avocado-peels, chicken grease, and fruit-stickers that say "Product of Guatemala," no man. Please make sure that the water will drain from the completely-filled-with-dishes side of the sink, si man, and please avoid letting a silverware item slip into the garbage-grinder that has to be turned on if the water is to drain from the completely-filled-with-dishes side of the sink, si man.

This all engenders a sinking feeling when it comes time to dredge the dishes, sigh man.

I know that feeling. My wife used to put everything in the sink...including bones, tea bags, paper towels, napkins and other items generally meant for the trash can. I used to have to fish out the contraband from the wet greasy muck in the sink and transport it to it's rightful home...the trash can's plastic bag.

And, I also had to fish out metal items from the garbage disposal after hearing the horrific metal to metal grinding noise. Despite having one of those plastic perforated drain inserts to catch such items, my wife would take that insert out for no good reason, and this allowed silverware to enter the disposer. Most of my silverware bares the rough edged, combat disposer scars from my wife's kitchen practices.

Adios wife. Sane kitchen. Yeah man.

[slim 1,530]

Despite having one of those plastic perforated drain inserts to catch such items, my wife would take that insert out for no good reason,

Now you know why our shower doesn't drain like it's supposed to. "You know the little cap on your XXXXXXXXXX bottle? Well, when that falls off in the tub and you don't pick it up, it clogs the pipes. And since it's made of hard plastic... it's not going anywhere."

I've given up on trying to keep it unclogged. I simply pour drain powder down it every couple months.

[ONA 133]

I know that feeling. My wife used to put everything in the sink...including bones, tea bags, paper towels, napkins and other items generally meant for the trash can. I used to have to fish out the contraband from the wet greasy muck in the sink and transport it to it's rightful home...the trash can's plastic bag.

And, I also had to fish out metal items from the garbage disposal after hearing the horrific metal to metal grinding noise. Despite having one of those plastic perforated drain inserts to catch such items, my wife would take that insert out for no good reason, and this allowed silverware to enter the disposer. Most of my silverware bares the rough edged, combat disposer scars from my wife's kitchen practices.

Adios wife. Sane kitchen. Yeah man.

Sounds nasty. That's not a Russian thing, it just means that your wife is neither a neat person, nor a well-organized one.

I'm far from being a clean freak, but your post is literally like a nightmare for me...