Homesickness

[Kathryn41 3,205]

Thanks for weighing in your experiences, everyone. Maybe I'll feel a little better when I get my Christmas cards sent out to my family and friends when I'm in the US. Does anyone still send physical letters back home? Seems with email and everything sending out letters and cards in the mail isn't as popular anymore, but I love stationary and for some reason the thought of sending actual, physical mail out is a little helpful.

I do . I enjoy sending and receiving cards and letters from my friends and family. I always send out Christmas cards too. Allow a week to 10 days for them to get to Canada from the US, though. That's how long mine always seem to take.

One thing I am definitely going to miss is how my Dad used to cut out newspaper clippings and odd sorts of announcements and photographs from back home and then send them to me. It was always fun to receive that envelope stuffed full of clippings with the notation on the front addressed to Customs: "Newspaper clippings - no commercial value" Some of them would have his 'commentary' written on the article or editorial and it felt so nice to have something arrive in the mail from home - like I was being brought up to date on all the important news that isn't addressed in the US. Sadly, my Dad passed away 2 weeks ago so I won't be receiving any more 'newsy' envelopes. This is a different type of homesickness. While he was still alive I knew I could always go back 'home' for a visit. Now that is no longer possible. 'Home' won't be there anymore.

Edited November 17, 2011 by Kathryn41

[dukeandduchess 141]

I do . I enjoy sending and receiving cards and letters from my friends and family. I always send out Christmas cards too. Allow a week to 10 days for them to get to Canada from the US, though. That's how long mine always seem to take.

One thing I am definitely going to miss is how my Dad used to cut out newspaper clippings and odd sorts of announcements and photographs from back home and then send them to me. It was always fun to receive that envelope stuffed full of clippings with the notation on the front addressed to Customs: "Newspaper clippings - no commercial value" Some of them would have his 'commentary' written on the article or editorial and it felt so nice to have something arrive in the mail from home - like I was being brought up to date on all the important news that isn't addressed in the US. Sadly, my Dad passed away 2 weeks ago so I won't be receiving any more 'newsy' envelopes. This is a different type of homesickness. While he was still alive I knew I could always go back 'home' for a visit. Now that is no longer possible. 'Home' won't be there anymore.

Aww Kathryn that's so cute. Made my heart melt a bit because my grandma used to do that with me too. She moved into a nursing home a few years ago and I definitely miss getting them Sorry to hear about your dad.

[Piefre 15]

My condolences about your father, Kathryn. That sounds like a really touching way to stay in touch with your father.

[Sandra&Matt 1]

Sorry to hear about your hard time in Chicago, Kimbear. One of my dad's best friends live in Chicago and I think he loves it there. But when I was there the one time, it was a little intimidating because there were so many people and the city was huge. I come from a relatively small city in Alberta and I'm going to Florida. There's half as many people in Florida as there are in all of Canada! And it's so far away from my family too. It's going to be weird not having any snow during Christmas this year. Also weird to look outside in December and see green instead of white--and sometimes brown lol.

I find it strange too Piefre. I moved from Alberta to Houston and love the fact that I just planted flowers outside. I'm kind of missing seeing snow but not feeling the cold. Texas has close to all of Canada's population so it's an adjustment being in a large city (I thought Edmonton and Calgary were pretty big...lol). It bothers me to hear about a lot of crime and I have to keep reminding myself that the population is so much greater.

[SapphireDreams 71]

There are a lot of things about Canada that I miss. Namely my family and friends, and the comforts of knowing my way around, feeling comfortable with my surroundings and just dealing with less people in general. I also really miss the industry that I work in - my job is essentially the same, but on a much bigger scale here so it's a lot more challenging, competitive and it is more difficult to stand out.

At the same time, I don't see myself moving back anytime soon, if ever. I love NYC and everything about it. Sure it's big, dirty and full of rude people but it's also an amazing place to work, meet wonderful smart people and just live in general. The city is full of transplants from other places, so that makes it a lot easier because no one is really from NYC (althought I have lots of friends that are too since my husband is).

I actually had a really bad experience when I moved to Waterloo from Toronto to go to University. I wasn't even as far but I was SO HOMESICK. Man, thinking about that really brings back bad memories. I think it really just came down to me not embracing the city at all and continually comparing it to Toronto and where I grew up. I did that when I moved to NYC too, but I've stopped comparing and just started to live and find it to be a lot easier and have really started to find things about NYC that I love. I knew going into this move that if I didn't have an open mind and recognize and take advantage of all the positives, I would be miserable.

I've been here for 2.5 years now and consider it my home. When I go back to Canada, I feel like a visitor but I'm okay with that. Perhaps one day we'll move to Canada, but to be honest I think that opportunity in the US is pretty amazing. Sure, it's expensive and hard work to maintain a certain lifestyle here (I think harder than Canada) but the payoff is better.

I guess the point of my post is that it can and does get better, but attitude is really everything. If you refuse to let go of what you left behind, it'll be much harder. I always remind myself that Canada will always be there for me and it's not going to change. It's up to be to embrace this amazing new place and make the most of it.

[Gypsyangel 11]

Sadly, my Dad passed away 2 weeks ago so I won't be receiving any more 'newsy' envelopes. This is a different type of homesickness. While he was still alive I knew I could always go back 'home' for a visit. Now that is no longer possible. 'Home' won't be there anymore.

I'm so sorry to hear about your Dad Kathryn. Sending you hugs.

[Piefre 15]

I find it strange too Piefre. I moved from Alberta to Houston and love the fact that I just planted flowers outside. I'm kind of missing seeing snow but not feeling the cold. Texas has close to all of Canada's population so it's an adjustment being in a large city (I thought Edmonton and Calgary were pretty big...lol). It bothers me to hear about a lot of crime and I have to keep reminding myself that the population is so much greater.

I'm from Calgary and always considered it a small city, even though I've seen it grow over the past two decades from an even smaller city to what it is now. It's going to be bizarre planting flowers in December and having a Christmas tree in the house when there's no snow outside. To me Christmas time = snow. Though I'm looking forward to the nicer weather.

I guess the point of my post is that it can and does get better, but attitude is really everything. If you refuse to let go of what you left behind, it'll be much harder. I always remind myself that Canada will always be there for me and it's not going to change. It's up to be to embrace this amazing new place and make the most of it.

That's good advice. I guess attitude is a large part of dealing with it. I have been thinking too hard about leaving and my life changing from the routine that I've gotten used to. I don't take change very well, but looking at it as a new adventure is more positive than just a series of changes from what I'm comfortable with.

[Kimbear 53]

I do . I enjoy sending and receiving cards and letters from my friends and family. I always send out Christmas cards too. Allow a week to 10 days for them to get to Canada from the US, though. That's how long mine always seem to take.

One thing I am definitely going to miss is how my Dad used to cut out newspaper clippings and odd sorts of announcements and photographs from back home and then send them to me. It was always fun to receive that envelope stuffed full of clippings with the notation on the front addressed to Customs: "Newspaper clippings - no commercial value" Some of them would have his 'commentary' written on the article or editorial and it felt so nice to have something arrive in the mail from home - like I was being brought up to date on all the important news that isn't addressed in the US. Sadly, my Dad passed away 2 weeks ago so I won't be receiving any more 'newsy' envelopes. This is a different type of homesickness. While he was still alive I knew I could always go back 'home' for a visit. Now that is no longer possible. 'Home' won't be there anymore.

Kathryn i'm so very sorry for your loss. I remember you posting a few times the clippings your Dad sent you, and i can imagine the smile it must have put on your face each time.

[thetreble 19]

Sadly, my Dad passed away 2 weeks ago so I won't be receiving any more 'newsy' envelopes. This is a different type of homesickness. While he was still alive I knew I could always go back 'home' for a visit. Now that is no longer possible. 'Home' won't be there anymore.

God, Kathryn. I'm so sorry to hear this. This choked me up because my mum cuts out things from the paper too and writes on them with comments. So tough to lose a parent and I fear the day it happens to me.

Everyone's experience of moving from place to place is going to be different. In this thread alone, you've seen lots and lots of folks who have LOVED transitioning to the US and after awhile got used to it.

I've been in the US for 5 years. (it shocks me to say that!!!!)I had a very hard time adjusting my bubbly, easy going personality to the North East area. (NY, NJ, CT) Many folks on this board have heard it many times before. I have met new people, have a great job, etc., but I've never been able to fully give my full presence to this place. I'm constantly "somewhere else" in my head, thinking about back home. It may be because I was so young when I left, and should have considered a few more things I wanted to do in Canada that I never got to. But every time I do hear that national anthem on TV, on the radio, mentioned in the news, I tear up and identify with who I feel are "my people".

So, after 5 years, I've had enough and my husband has agreed to move back with me in 2012. I do think most people adjust and move on. I just haven't been able to.

[Piefre 15]

God, Kathryn. I'm so sorry to hear this. This choked me up because my mum cuts out things from the paper too and writes on them with comments. So tough to lose a parent and I fear the day it happens to me.

Everyone's experience of moving from place to place is going to be different. In this thread alone, you've seen lots and lots of folks who have LOVED transitioning to the US and after awhile got used to it.

I've been in the US for 5 years. (it shocks me to say that!!!!)I had a very hard time adjusting my bubbly, easy going personality to the North East area. (NY, NJ, CT) Many folks on this board have heard it many times before. I have met new people, have a great job, etc., but I've never been able to fully give my full presence to this place. I'm constantly "somewhere else" in my head, thinking about back home. It may be because I was so young when I left, and should have considered a few more things I wanted to do in Canada that I never got to. But every time I do hear that national anthem on TV, on the radio, mentioned in the news, I tear up and identify with who I feel are "my people".

So, after 5 years, I've had enough and my husband has agreed to move back with me in 2012. I do think most people adjust and move on. I just haven't been able to.

Thanks for coming and weighing in your experience, thetreble. I think it's great that most of us, if we wanted to, could go back to Canada. I don't know how I'll do at adjusting to the new surroundings, but it'll just have to be wait and see.

I remember when I was four and leaving Vietnam for Canada. My parents had to give up their home, their jobs, and anything of great value before they left. When they boarded the plane in in the early 90s we had nothing left but the clothes on our backs and in our suitcases. Then we got to Canada and it was a huge shock. The weather, the language, the fact that almost everyone had a car. That's not to mention the flight from Vietnam to Canada takes almost a day and back then the only way to communicate with family was snail mail or very expensive long distance calls.

I have to remind myself constantly that I've done this before and it is significantly different then than it is now.

Edited November 18, 2011 by Piefre

[Kathryn41 3,205]

Thank you everyone for your condolences. They are appreciated.

[ashenflowers 5]

So very sorry about your father Kathryn.

I am extremely home sick, even after being here for 22 months. I have decided of course that this is where I will be living, and I no longer have the urge to move back (which I did for the first several months). There are things that I like about living here after all, and I've become quite adjusted to some of the local differences. However, I think for me the inability to be able to return for regular visits is making it really difficult to truly feel at 'home' here. Ontario to California is pretty far, after all! I haven't been back to Canada since January, and can't go for the holidays this year, so if I'm lucky I MIGHT be able to go for a visit next summer at the earliest. It's just too long!!! I miss my family. I miss Canada. I miss my friends (though some of them have moved elsewhere as well, so that will never be the same). I miss snow, I miss Tim Hortons, I miss hockey, I miss the Canada flag, I miss people being polite, I miss french signs (go figure), and bilingual packaging. And yes, hearing the national anthem almost makes me want to bawl like a baby. lol

If I were able to go home more often it would be much easier, but I feel trapped and SO very far away here. Every once in a while there are triggers that leave me with such a fierce ache and emptiness in my heart that I can hardly bear it.

Also, it's been hard making friends. I have a few, but none really close... there are hardly any people in this town my age. They are either 10 years younger (it's a college/university town), or 10 years older, with children (it's an expensive place to live, and most young couples can't afford to live here... neither can we actually, without help). So, that part sucks.

[SuperDuper! 230]

Edited November 21, 2011 by Boing!

[CDAgirlMI 51]

So very sorry about your father Kathryn.

I am extremely home sick, even after being here for 22 months. I have decided of course that this is where I will be living, and I no longer have the urge to move back (which I did for the first several months). There are things that I like about living here after all, and I've become quite adjusted to some of the local differences. However, I think for me the inability to be able to return for regular visits is making it really difficult to truly feel at 'home' here. Ontario to California is pretty far, after all! I haven't been back to Canada since January, and can't go for the holidays this year, so if I'm lucky I MIGHT be able to go for a visit next summer at the earliest. It's just too long!!! I miss my family. I miss Canada. I miss my friends (though some of them have moved elsewhere as well, so that will never be the same). I miss snow, I miss Tim Hortons, I miss hockey, I miss the Canada flag, I miss people being polite, I miss french signs (go figure), and bilingual packaging. And yes, hearing the national anthem almost makes me want to bawl like a baby. lol

If I were able to go home more often it would be much easier, but I feel trapped and SO very far away here. Every once in a while there are triggers that leave me with such a fierce ache and emptiness in my heart that I can hardly bear it.

Also, it's been hard making friends. I have a few, but none really close... there are hardly any people in this town my age. They are either 10 years younger (it's a college/university town), or 10 years older, with children (it's an expensive place to live, and most young couples can't afford to live here... neither can we actually, without help). So, that part sucks.

I don't know about that....maybe.

I'm in Michigan...about 1 1/2 hr from the border. I get to go to Canada every few months, and everytime I come back here I'm looking for the next chance to go back "home". It's like someone here said about being able to "let go" before you can move on. Its hard to totally let go when you're right there to visit.

[lgg 2]

You are SO not alone. I've been here for almost 2 years and I still feel out of sorts. Canada will always be my home and in my heart. I'm happy here. So far things are going well. But I love my canada. Always will.

<br />Join the club....you're not alone.<br /><br />Certain forms of technology are excellent nowadays for keeping in touch.  I use Skype with my parents here & there, but mostly just use a calling card to call them. <br />Blackberry has been a great device to send messages & get instant replies from family/friends.<br /><br />It'll take a while, only time will tell how long.  There will always be someone else who went thorugh it, someone going through it, and someone who will go through it.<br />

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