TRANSPARENCY

[Naijabound 1]

He FINALLY agreed and we gathered all the info this weekend and faxed it in yesterday morning - 9 days past due, but the worker called me and said she extended the deadline. Yesterday we got the two hospital bills for my daughters ER visits - over $8,400!!! I'm sure if he hadn't agreed over the weekend yesterday's bills would have "motivated" him. So that issue is resolved. Others still exist and I realize that. I'll just keep tackling them as they arise.

[patient2010 93]

He FINALLY agreed and we gathered all the info this weekend and faxed it in yesterday morning - 9 days past due, but the worker called me and said she extended the deadline. Yesterday we got the two hospital bills for my daughters ER visits - over $8,400!!! I'm sure if he hadn't agreed over the weekend yesterday's bills would have "motivated" him. So that issue is resolved. Others still exist and I realize that. I'll just keep tackling them as they arise.

[reeses16 8]

Hi Whidbey,

I'm glad you hubby finally signed the papers. It might be rough going at the moment to get transparency, but I believe it can be achieved with persistence and maintaining calm (even when its hard to do!).

Are you able to ask your hubby why he has problems reviewing his financial situation with you? If you know why, then maybe you can find a strategy that works.

[LoveNigarmostyle 164]

He refuses counseling.

He has seen the paperwork, he won't do it.

I know he's not doing great, he really hasn't had any good painting jobs in 5 months, this is EXACTLY why we need the financial assistance of insurance for the children. I told him if he refuses to give it to me then I'll just give him the bills, he said fine, if he can pay them he will if not he won't. Ummm ya, that won't work, I'm trying to fix my credit after filing bankruptcy not destroy it more.

Seems you have many issues you are dealing with at the same time. There are many great ideas here for you to work with. Good luck

[Ohemaa 0]

Hi, I'm new here! I've just recently filed my application. I was stumbling around trying to figure this site out and read your story. First, let me just say that I am so sorry to hear what you've been going through. I'm fortunate enough, because of my own heritage and background, and my line of work (I'm an attorney/aspiring law professor specializing in women's human rights in West Africa and the diaspora), that I have seen enough of this sort of situation to possibly be able to offer some advice, so feel free to send a message. Very few Senegalese men (or women) are "transparent"; it's a cultural thing. For starters, I would recommend wholeheartedly that you keep your finances as separate as possible from your husband's, and prepare a stash for yourself as is possible in the event that you will need to file for divorce. I would slow down on removing conditions at this stage. A very good friend of mine is in a similar (yet worse) situation with her Senegalese husband, and I am now assisting her in getting a divorce and having the husband removed from the country. Sometimes it's just necessary. Bonne chance.