OPINION ON CHEATING PARTNERS

[TeapotGirl 66]

I am seeing posts here about cheating fiance and wants to go home after few weeks of getting in the US. That's sad, either they don't know who the person they committed with or they just need to learn how deal with the situation.

Discovering infidelity on the first part of the "marriage" is very crucial. Everybody wants their marriage to last but we all know that there's no perfect relationship. Getting into the marriage is not a guarantee of loyalty either and sometimes no matter how genuine your intention is, there's still something wrong that you just have to let go. Do you think infidelity is just one of the trials that needs to be overcome?

EXPLANATION..

GUY: "Do you think I will spend money and time with you if I do not love you. I may have been stupid but it doesn't mean that I don't love you."

GIRL: "Why would I fly all the way here and leave my family and friends back home if I don't want to be with you?"

[Olomi_811 130]

How one handles infidelity is an individual decision. I think the hurt seems deeper for persons who found love outside their home country, because you feel financial strain, being placed under a microscope by the government and those closest to you, being emotionally worn down waiting for approvals, and not having any control in the matter.

Edited November 13, 2011 by Olomi_811

[NigeriaorBust 4,087]

People have a 1001 excuses for doing what they know is wrong, however I have never heard of a ####### spontanously leaping into a #######. Infidelity is a premediated act. It can be seen as the premeditated murder of your marriage. Excuses are just an attempt to defect the responisbilty for your actions.

[Dan & Jenni 457]

there are no excuses for cheating and as far as im concerned that is the end of the relationship. trust is everything and once a cheat, always a cheat!!

[az110965 252]

there are no excuses for cheating and as far as im concerned that is the end of the relationship. trust is everything and once a cheat, always a cheat!!

I agree. Once the bond of trust is gone there is no rebuilding of it. I would hope that if there is communication, honesty, respect and love then there is no reason for infidelity to occur.

[Golden Gate 530]

Nope, happened to me and totally changed any feelings I had about him. Someone that weak wasn't going to be the person I wanted to spend my life with.

Edited November 13, 2011 by Golden Gate

[Jim N Augie 16]

"Do you think infidelity is just one of the trials that needs to be overcome? " To what end? It will only happen again. Working it out is only a bandaid and not a cure for a lack of morals and commitment in a partner.

[2 N 1 for life 3]

How one handles infidelity is an individual decision. I think the hurt seems deeper for persons who found love outside their home country, because you feel financial strain, being placed under a microscope by the government and those closest to you, being emotionally worn down waiting for approvals, and not having any control in the matter.

In my opinion its not about the financial part... I agree with the emotional aspect 100% its very stressful... All the time you invest and not to mention the embarassment of how one is scrutinized for meeting someone online and then traveling across country in the name of love... to then find out this person has been unfaithful... And yes infidelity is an individual decision some ppl can forgive and move past the hurt and even go onto to make the marriage work. I am not one of those ppl who can move past that kind of act.. I would always be thinking about my husband committing that kind of act and violating our marriage and my peace of mind I would never be able to grow as one with him. I'm talking from experience from my first marriage although my ex-husband was not from a different country the hurt was just as intensed... Adultry kills the spirit and the desire and makes it so hard to trust again... I'm always studying my husband's words and actions because of the betrayal I've been through with my ex-husband... Is it fair to my husband?! No but this is the effects of infidelity and something that is embeded deep in my heart..

[TeapotGirl 66]

CONSIDERATIONS..

What if it's just the first time?

What if the infidelity happened before you got engaged but already together?

What if the "cheating" is just a gut feeling and you do not have a solid evidence that it's real?

[scotty2009 13]

I voted for no.

If one cheats on you, there will surely be a second one. Plus a third and so on.

This is rational thinking, but I know sometimes one's emotions can get in the way.

Edited November 14, 2011 by scotty2009

[KittyPollitt 284]

CONSIDERATIONS..

What if it's just the first time?

What if the infidelity happened before you got engaged but already together?

What if the "cheating" is just a gut feeling and you do not have a solid evidence that it's real?

I won't wait for a second time (because there WILL be a second time)

Together is together.

Solid evidence should be obtained before shooting allegations.

[VanessaTony 3,567]

CONSIDERATIONS..

What if it's just the first time?

What if the infidelity happened before you got engaged but already together?

What if the "cheating" is just a gut feeling and you do not have a solid evidence that it's real?

Doesn't matter when, doesn't matter if it was just the once. It's a conscious act. You watched someone else strip, you kissed someone else, you stripped for someone else. These acts take longer than a second. A cheating partner either doesn't care about you enough to think about you at that moment, OR chooses to block you from their mind.

If it's a gut feeling it depends on why that gut feeling and how long the feeling lasts. If you're walking around jealous as h*ll thinking he's cheating on you, you don't trust him. What is a relationship without trust?

there are no excuses for cheating and as far as im concerned that is the end of the relationship. trust is everything and once a cheat, always a cheat!!

Agreed but with one caveat. Just because someone cheats on you, doesn't mean they will cheat on their next partner. It just means they don't care enough about YOU or your feelings to stay faithful to you.

You sometimes read stories about where the guy was so sorry, she forgave him and they had this fantastic relationship later. No he just figured out how not to get caught.

[dukeandduchess 141]

If my fiance cheated on me it would be a huge betrayal. I would never be able to trust him again. I could never continue a relationship if my fiance cheated. I respect and care about myself enough to drop it like it's hot and move the heck on.

[TeapotGirl 66]

"It's nothing. You are the one I love, common!"

[dukeandduchess 141]

"It's nothing. You are the one I love, common!"

If someone said that to me I'd laugh and walk away. If they consider cheating "nothing" you're in for a whole mess of problems. Even if it means "nothing" to them it probably means "something" to you...