Wife's son is moving out already. I have concerns.

[visaveteran1 33]

News Update

You may remember I mentioned in an earlier post that I offered my wife a "deal" to go home with some cash, a one-year monthly payment of a few hundred dollars and a plane ticket. In return I get a Russian divorce. She took the offer into consideration but I doubted she'd go for it.

Wrong!

Yesterday she verbally agreed to my terms and, later on, suggested I subtract the cost of her son's ticket from my cash total. By her tone and demeanor, she's serious about this. She even wants to walk away as friendly as we can. I was fighting to shout with joy but realize nothing is done yet. This could change tomorrow...but my guts tell me she's looked at her situation and how best to serve her son, and decided she'll go out the easy way. I also think my mention of "visa fraud" might have been a motivation as well. In any event, I stand in this moment hopeful that I could be free and single in months, not years.

I know she will go home and stay with her mother. This will be a hardship as her mother still lives in a village house with a wood stove and outhouse. Her flat in the city is rented so that is why she must go to her mother's. I imagine she will be there long enough to get the divorce and then return to the US and stay with her son. She may turn to me for occasional help in various ways. But, I can choose what ways I will help as a free and single man...so I'm OK with that situation.

When I divorced my first wife, who was American, we did our own divorce and it cost $250 to accomplish. We are still friendly to this day...partly because of our son and partly because we never battled each other. We had about as friendly a divorce as you can hope for. I hope this second (and last) divorce might have a similar outcome. I will hold some resentment but a lot of this was my not following my instincts and overlooking warning signs. So, I am willing, should this "deal" come to pass, to be a friend to her with certain limits and boundaries.

Hopeful today and grateful. I'll keep you posted.

[Dave-n-Oksana 49]

News Update

You may remember I mentioned in an earlier post that I offered my wife a "deal" to go home with some cash, a one-year monthly payment of a few hundred dollars and a plane ticket. In return I get a Russian divorce. She took the offer into consideration but I doubted she'd go for it.

Wrong!

Yesterday she verbally agreed to my terms and, later on, suggested I subtract the cost of her son's ticket from my cash total. By her tone and demeanor, she's serious about this. She even wants to walk away as friendly as we can. I was fighting to shout with joy but realize nothing is done yet. This could change tomorrow...but my guts tell me she's looked at her situation and how best to serve her son, and decided she'll go out the easy way. I also think my mention of "visa fraud" might have been a motivation as well. In any event, I stand in this moment hopeful that I could be free and single in months, not years.

I know she will go home and stay with her mother. This will be a hardship as her mother still lives in a village house with a wood stove and outhouse. Her flat in the city is rented so that is why she must go to her mother's. I imagine she will be there long enough to get the divorce and then return to the US and stay with her son. She may turn to me for occasional help in various ways. But, I can choose what ways I will help as a free and single man...so I'm OK with that situation.

When I divorced my first wife, who was American, we did our own divorce and it cost $250 to accomplish. We are still friendly to this day...partly because of our son and partly because we never battled each other. We had about as friendly a divorce as you can hope for. I hope this second (and last) divorce might have a similar outcome. I will hold some resentment but a lot of this was my not following my instincts and overlooking warning signs. So, I am willing, should this "deal" come to pass, to be a friend to her with certain limits and boundaries.

Hopeful today and grateful. I'll keep you posted.

VV,

I am of two minds here. I am sorry that it did not work out, but happy for you that you will be a free man soon with minimal impact to your future (Look out FSU women). You have always been a stand-up kind of guy and I only wish the best for you and your future.

Edited November 18, 2011 by Dave-n-Oksana

[TBoneTX 45,090]

VV,

I am of two minds here. I am sorry that it did not work out, but happy for you that you will be a free man soon with minimal impact to your future (Look out FSU women). You have always been a stand-up kind of guy and I only wish the best for you and your future.

Echoed, si si man man. Keep us closely apprised, and continue to feel free to seek support or insights from us as you may want, si man.

[TBoneTX 45,090]

You want one?

In a perfect world, who wouldn't? However, the only rubia (blonde) in Mrs. T-B.'s hometown (est. 15,000 pop.) is a fake rubia who is apparently living with the town's only puerco (pig/policeman). Not many rubias in Ecuador.

Happily, I do have six (imaginary) rubias locally, available to me at all times. Whenever I'm 3 minutes late arriving home from work, I announce to Mrs. T-B. that I was having fun with the rubias, who extend their greetings to her.

[1HappyGuy 45]

VV,

I sure hope you can manage this, but like you said, don't be surprised if it turns around. Take is easy and just move forward with the whole thing. It will get better.

I have a friend that is going through a divorce right now. She's back in Ukraine, so everything has to be done by mail. He looks to be free in February.

Best of luck and keep us posted.

[slim 1,523]

But I'm mostly posting to say that Slim gives excellent advice.

I'm so showing this to my wife!

Glad to hear it's working out for you. Life is too short to be unhappy. And you know, you're always welcome to do more than just lurk!

But she's not a rubia (blonde), no man!

I love them rubias. (Who am I kiddin... I love 'em all!)

Hopeful today and grateful. I'll keep you posted.

However it goes, VV, good luck to you. Don't be scared to bounce some ideas or thoughts off of us. We're here if you need us.

[visaveteran1 33]

I'm so showing this to my wife!

Glad to hear it's working out for you. Life is too short to be unhappy. And you know, you're always welcome to do more than just lurk!

I love them rubias. (Who am I kiddin... I love 'em all!)

However it goes, VV, good luck to you. Don't be scared to bounce some ideas or thoughts off of us. We're here if you need us.

Roger that my friend!

[visaveteran1 33]

A few more divorce details. Should I be concerned?

Today my wife and I discussed when she will go to Russia. She said she wants to attempt to get her citizenship (she's been here 3 years) and go to Russia in May. Also, because it is very cold now and during the winter, she does not want to have to live in her mother's rustic home in Siberia. Additionally, she wants to be in a position to not have to return to the US every six months just to keep her Green Card safe.

She has promised she will not change her mind. On the face of it, I don't she any real harm in waiting until spring. She said if I want, she will stay with her son...but ideally, he wants to get a real room mate to help pay the rent. Of course, ideally this would happen faster but she is going to call the Palace of Marriage and find out what has to happen, so some action is happening.

I could draw up a contract I suppose and have her sign it, either through a lawyer or notary just as a guarantee she won't change her mind or the agreement we have set. Any thoughts on that?

If her delay sounds dubious or a red light is going off with this citizenship deal, please inform me. Thanks!

[Derek & Rita 6]

A few more divorce details. Should I be concerned?

Today my wife and I discussed when she will go to Russia. She said she wants to attempt to get her citizenship (she's been here 3 years) and go to Russia in May. Also, because it is very cold now and during the winter, she does not want to have to live in her mother's rustic home in Siberia. Additionally, she wants to be in a position to not have to return to the US every six months just to keep her Green Card safe.

She has promised she will not change her mind. On the face of it, I don't she any real harm in waiting until spring. She said if I want, she will stay with her son...but ideally, he wants to get a real room mate to help pay the rent. Of course, ideally this would happen faster but she is going to call the Palace of Marriage and find out what has to happen, so some action is happening.

I could draw up a contract I suppose and have her sign it, either through a lawyer or notary just as a guarantee she won't change her mind or the agreement we have set. Any thoughts on that?

If her delay sounds dubious or a red light is going off with this citizenship deal, please inform me. Thanks!

Sounds good to me, if she's almost been there for three years, might be beneficial for her to wait to go back. If she's been working since she's been here, she may be able to get her citizenship sooner. And, soon as she gets her citizenship, you are no longer on the hook for the Affidavit of support, which means if she wants to qualify to go to college or something, they won't count your income as hers, so it would be easier to qualify. As far as signing an agreement as to what she will do when she gets to Russia, I doubt it would hold up in a Russian court - Just look at Viktor Bout.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

I wish you and your wife and her son the best. I am not pleased to hear a family is breaking, but if you can do so with as much dignity as you have handled your marriage, then I guess that is the best you can do.

I also hope you beat your medical issues because it is difficult to face alone, I would not want to.

Best to you VV

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Sounds good to me, if she's almost been there for three years, might be beneficial for her to wait to go back. If she's been working since she's been here, she may be able to get her citizenship sooner. And, soon as she gets her citizenship, you are no longer on the hook for the Affidavit of support, which means if she wants to qualify to go to college or something, they won't count your income as hers, so it would be easier to qualify. As far as signing an agreement as to what she will do when she gets to Russia, I doubt it would hold up in a Russian court - Just look at Viktor Bout.

He is off the hook if she abandons her residency also. Her residency can be revoked immediately upon her claiming to be a resident of Russia, she does not need to wait for her Green card to expire.

IF she files for a divorce in Russia, that would sufficiently indicate Russian residency to revoke her green card.

[visaveteran1 33]

Sounds good to me, if she's almost been there for three years, might be beneficial for her to wait to go back. If she's been working since she's been here, she may be able to get her citizenship sooner. And, soon as she gets her citizenship, you are no longer on the hook for the Affidavit of support, which means if she wants to qualify to go to college or something, they won't count your income as hers, so it would be easier to qualify. As far as signing an agreement as to what she will do when she gets to Russia, I doubt it would hold up in a Russian court - Just look at Viktor Bout.

Any idea how long it takes after applying to get citizenship?

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

In a perfect world, who wouldn't? However, the only rubia (blonde) in Mrs. T-B.'s hometown (est. 15,000 pop.) is a fake rubia who is apparently living with the town's only puerco (pig/policeman). Not many rubias in Ecuador.

Happily, I do have six (imaginary) rubias locally, available to me at all times. Whenever I'm 3 minutes late arriving home from work, I announce to Mrs. T-B. that I was having fun with the rubias, who extend their greetings to her.

I can't do things like that. I cannot speak for all the RUB women but the ones I know, and Alla in particular, are VERY VERY posessive of what is "theirs". This includes husbands, cell phones, computers, rifles, shoes, etc. If I said I was at some Blonde's house....OMG!!!!!!!! She would bite me, maybe until death.

Edited November 19, 2011 by Gary and Alla

[visaveteran1 33]

New wrinkle.

As I mentioned, my wife wants citizenship. What she finally owned up to is she spoke with a lawyer who's urged her to get that citizenship. I looked into it and I don't like what I see. First, it cost $600 and she says she has the money...the question is where did it come from? But my real issue is I may have to get involved with more documentation bull #######. For citizenship we're supposed to have a "real marriage" for her to qualify and here we are talking divorce. If I support her documentation, I will have to lie to the Federal Government and commit fraud. I'm not willing to do that.

Two steps forward, one step back.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

A few more divorce details. Should I be concerned?

Today my wife and I discussed when she will go to Russia. She said she wants to attempt to get her citizenship (she's been here 3 years) and go to Russia in May. Also, because it is very cold now and during the winter, she does not want to have to live in her mother's rustic home in Siberia. Additionally, she wants to be in a position to not have to return to the US every six months just to keep her Green Card safe.

She has promised she will not change her mind. On the face of it, I don't she any real harm in waiting until spring. She said if I want, she will stay with her son...but ideally, he wants to get a real room mate to help pay the rent. Of course, ideally this would happen faster but she is going to call the Palace of Marriage and find out what has to happen, so some action is happening.

I could draw up a contract I suppose and have her sign it, either through a lawyer or notary just as a guarantee she won't change her mind or the agreement we have set. Any thoughts on that?

If her delay sounds dubious or a red light is going off with this citizenship deal, please inform me. Thanks!

I would say there is no downside to her being a citizen for you. Once she is a citizen you are off the hook for the I-864 so why not?