age different

[doodlebug 3]

I think that at 41 I'm better apt to handle a baby than I was when I had mine back to back at 30 and 30. lol. My girls are less than a year apart and my ex left me when they were both 2 and lemme tell ya it was hell on earth.

Now that I'm older I know I'll be much more relaxed about little things that made me go beserk only ten years ago. I just hope though that at this age the baby will be healthy.

[ya falaha! 0]

At 32 I'm far more patient than I was in my early 20's. I was a spazz of a mother. I followed those kids around like they were gonna kill themselves. I've learned that babies and children don't break.

[Together4ever 1]

I would if this stupid visa process wasn't snarfing up every extra penny I have...

*taps the consulate on the shoulder in case they forget they STILL haven't issued the visa...*

I wanted to add, more on topic, we do have an age difference and the consular officer questioned him most heavily about the issue of having children during his interview. She asked him 7 times "Don't you want children?" He kept replying that children come if Allah wills it and it is not the most important thing to him. He just wants me. He chose me. And as loves to say "end of story." He started getting hyper on her. lol I was just miffed because I'm not so old I can't bear children. Geez. Like I need them rushing me to my grave or something.

You know that is so strange, I suspect I am older than you but the issue wasn't even brought up during my husbands interview. I kind of suspect that they would have used this on a second interview and sent it back again, but I already addressed it with my rebuttal to the CIS.

I know I am a bit dense, bad memory, but you are on AP, correct? Have you called the DOS for updates? Is it in Washington? I can't believe they would hold this just because you both don't want kids! Thats just crazy, but who knows with these consulates! It could be possible they are just running the gammet of security checks, taking their time because they think it is a fraud marriage, and eventually you will give up. I do believe they do this kind of thing on a regular basis.

They went to issue his visa 7 weeks ago and he got a name hit so he had to go in for prints. During that time one of his checks expired and now we are waiting that out. And you guys wonder why I'm foaming at the mouth...

Actually by the time the CO finished interviewing Moh, about 35 minutes, he kind of sniffled and she looked at him really hard. He got nervous and fidgetted a bit and she kind of laughed and said "Don't worry. I believe you love her." I feel we both presented a fairly strong case so the kid issue may have been one of those "trigger questions" where they were more interested in the way he responded rather then what he said.

Actually if you remember our mess of him having to go back 3 times to complete his interview (he forgot a receipt and then the consul messed up twice) and having to submit a copy of my lease, we lost almost 2 months, so even though it seems like we've been in AP/AR forever, we're actually on schedule but I'm so tired of waiting, and stressing, and worrying, and and and.

[jordanianprincess 0]

I would if this stupid visa process wasn't snarfing up every extra penny I have...

*taps the consulate on the shoulder in case they forget they STILL haven't issued the visa...*

I wanted to add, more on topic, we do have an age difference and the consular officer questioned him most heavily about the issue of having children during his interview. She asked him 7 times "Don't you want children?" He kept replying that children come if Allah wills it and it is not the most important thing to him. He just wants me. He chose me. And as loves to say "end of story." He started getting hyper on her. lol I was just miffed because I'm not so old I can't bear children. Geez. Like I need them rushing me to my grave or something.

You know that is so strange, I suspect I am older than you but the issue wasn't even brought up during my husbands interview. I kind of suspect that they would have used this on a second interview and sent it back again, but I already addressed it with my rebuttal to the CIS.

I know I am a bit dense, bad memory, but you are on AP, correct? Have you called the DOS for updates? Is it in Washington? I can't believe they would hold this just because you both don't want kids! Thats just crazy, but who knows with these consulates! It could be possible they are just running the gammet of security checks, taking their time because they think it is a fraud marriage, and eventually you will give up. I do believe they do this kind of thing on a regular basis.

They went to issue his visa 7 weeks ago and he got a name hit so he had to go in for prints. During that time one of his checks expired and now we are waiting that out. And you guys wonder why I'm foaming at the mouth...

Actually by the time the CO finished interviewing Moh, about 35 minutes, he kind of sniffled and she looked at him really hard. He got nervous and fidgetted a bit and she kind of laughed and said "Don't worry. I believe you love her." I feel we both presented a fairly strong case so the kid issue may have been one of those "trigger questions" where they were more interested in the way he responded rather then what he said.

Actually if you remember our mess of him having to go back 3 times to complete his interview (he forgot a receipt and then the consul messed up twice) and having to submit a copy of my lease, we lost almost 2 months, so even though it seems like we've been in AP/AR forever, we're actually on schedule but I'm so tired of waiting, and stressing, and worrying, and and and.

I think I can speak for all of us when I say we all hope and pray that his visa gets issued soon. Stay strong (F)

[Mrs. Forgetful 2]

I was a little confused on your four reasons a woman may be married. For her property, her status, her beauty, and her religion. Are you saying that these are four reason a man may choose a woman to marry?

Of course deciding to get married in a Muslim country is vastly different than here in the US. But one thing I have learned about an Arabic man. When he sees the woman he wants to marry, he loves her. Not in the way that he will once he has been married for several years, but loves her nonetheless.

When me and my husband first met in 2003, he gave me a promise ring because he knew that he wanted to marry me, and started saying "I love you" pretty much from the start. But it was I who decided that I wasn't ready and that I wasn't ever going to marry him, mainly because he was going to fast for me. Look at us now!

I second that..very smart decision. I had my oldest when I was 22 and my youngest at 23. I wasn't TOO young but I really could've waited. Alhamdulillah I still have a few good years in me for baby makin'. I'd like to wait a year or so before I try to get pregnant but Mohamed doesn't like that idea. Sheesh his parents started on me as soon as we were married. They even kinda talked about it before hand too.

When Adil and I were married in the mosque in Feb., we went and had chinese with my "Guardian" Ahmed. He ate two plates and said that he had to babies in his belly! Just after he says that, he pointed at me and said "Now, you and Adil have two babies! Twins!" He was telling us that we have to have kids now and all that. Adil just said "InshaAllah." Then he called his best friend, Azzidin, in Morocco and he told me that we have to have twins too! One will be American, and the other will be Moroccan! Then came the family the next day! His mother started first! "I want babies soon!" His middles sister, "Jennin, You have babies soon?!" And the one I will never forget was his father, "Janine, you must have a baby soon! Now that we don't have Hesna, I want a baby!" This was said the weekend before he passed away. I never even got to meet him, which makes me sad, but I know he loves me! Oh yeah and while Adil's mother was here, she was always rushing Adil and I to bed at night! You know, so we could make babies! It's not just his family wanting us to have kids, it's my father asking "When is Zach coming?", my friend asking "Are you pregnant yet?" and then there's my mother, "I'm not ready to be a grandmother yet, so use protection!"

We're talking about it. But only Allah knows when it will happen!

(It took me a long time to read all 8 pages I had missed, so sorry if I am behind on the new "topic")

[ya falaha! 0]

That was cute, Janine. Inlaws can be so funny

The best for me was one morning we were eating breakfast and my FIL busts out in his big booming voice...I want a baby from YOU..I want you to have Mohamed's baby SOON! All I could say was, ok. My SIL asked him, do you want a boy or girl, baba? He said, I don't care I just need a baby.

[jordanianprincess 0]

I have a funny story that is not about babies but my time in Jordan. My fiance kept trying to stuff me full of food everytime we had a meal together. I'm not a big eater and I don't like to eat alot in one sitting. So after about a week. I sat down and explained to my fiance that I didn't like it when he force fed me and that I was not shy and would eat when I wanted and until I was full. He finally agreed to stop pressuring me into eating. The next day his parents invited me over for dinner. As I was finishing my plate, his dad looks at him and says I think you should put more food on her plate. So what does he tell his dad, oh well I promised her that I would not force her to eat food anymore but you and mom are free to stuff her if you like as he laughed. So his parents started throwing food in my plate and you can't say no.....

So for my revenge. My fiance and I went out for lunch, we had a HUGE lunch. After about an hour, we went back to my uncles house where we were staying. We had completly forgotten that we were supposed to have dinner there, but we were soooooo full. So we had to sit and eat some bcz they cooked the meal for us. So during dinner, I kept telling my aunt and mom how much fiance like the food but he was shy to put more in his plate So they stuffed him and then when he finally escaped from the table to avoid eating more, he ran into to my uncle who was still BBQ outside and gave him even more to eat. I almost died laughing that day. So what is the moral of this story? Don't mess with the messe.

[Zizi & Zuki 0]

Hi,

Can you reply to me personally? I need to know if you have gotten your visa, since your timeline is not linked to your name.

Thanks!

Susan

[sophyie 0]

I know this might be a little off- topic here, since my husband is the USC and I am German (no ME-NA involved)- but still, even though both of us are absolutely fluent in both languages (which I consider a huge plus!), every now and then we have a little language based misunderstanding. Sometimes it's more the feeling to a word or the way it's spoken than the acutal meaning that causes these misunderstandings...

This is just to show that no matter how closely related the two cultures are and no matter how well each one of us knows the other one's culture (both have lived in the other country for years)- getting married to someone from another country, continent or culture is most likely never going to be a straight forward thing but implies lots of tolerance, patience and humor! But it's well worth it, I think

Good luck to all of you!