Is this a Bigamous Marriage?

[one...two...tree 2,762]

Ahh no. His marriage to her WAS NOT valid because she used someone else's ID. She used fake ID to marry him. He needs to prove it to void the marriage but there it is. Her divorces might also not be valid as she divorced her first husband using her second husbands name (when she was never legally married due to the first marriage) and also, again, because she used fake ID to do the divorces.

What??? Good grief. You're encouraging the man to chase a rabbit down a hole. Divorce is expensive and it will wipe him out emotionally as well. Better for him to just accept that the marriage didn't work and move on. Speculating what evidence a family court might find admissible in weighing in on the division of assets and custody of children is futile, IMO. Family Court considers the children's best interest first and foremost, and most family court judges have little patience for spouses who try to play the game of 'gotcha' to each other.

Dude, save yourself a lot of grief and money and go through arbitration rather than divorce court. There are no winners in divorce, no matter what. Focus on a future with your child(ren).

Edited November 11, 2011 by Mister Fancypants

[Leatherneck 693]

Exactly his problem. I am not sure but I think for a US passport both parents should give the consent. I don't know of any similar rule on Philippine law. I assume any parent can given this case.

http://articles.lati...cal/me-abduct13

Given the woman's background (denying and abandoning her son in the Philippines, the OP may have a chance). And it is MUCH better if the OP tries to get custody of his son while still in the US. He may not be able to do so if the child steps in the Philippines

Yeah for a child under age 16 to get a passport.

1. Both parents must appear and submit the required documents.

2. Evidence of the child's US citizenship.

3. Evidence of the child's relationship to parents.

But if only one parent appears, then.

1. The second parents notarized written statement or a DS-3053 consenting to the childs issuance of a passport.

2. Staement can not be more than 3 months old and must come with a photocopy of the front and back of the second parent's identification, or

3. Primary evidence of sole authority to apply, or

4. A written statement or DS-3053 (made under penalty of perjury) explaining in detailing the second parent's unavailablity.

You wanna bet she would choose to fake #2 or #4?

[ECS 3]

Look, I understand what it is like to go through a divorce. I was married for 15 years as well. You make it sound like you had no idea she had prior relationships, but she had children. I'm not excusing what she did wrong, but beyond you feeling a sense of betrayal (for her not telling you about her past), your relationship and marriage to her was valid. That's what is going to matter to the court (Family Law). My divorce was in California and we ended up using a paralegal. There's a formula for determining the custody of the children, which has leeway, but the division of property is pretty straight forward.

My advice would be to dump the lawyer if you can get her to agree to arbitration and then the two of you sit down with a paralegal to work out the division of assets as well as the custody of the child(ren). You'll save yourself a lot of money and possibly work out an agreement between the two of you that is more favorable than what a family court judge would rule. Seriously, it's just not worth fighting her in court over. Move on to acceptance and start living the rest of your life. Good luck.

You may understand what it is like having to go through a divorce. But you have no idea what its like going the things I have been through because of this. For years, her immigration problem (what I knew) was an issue and it impacted so many other aspects of our lives. And I stood by her. Without her EVER hinting that this was the truth. A sense of betrayal? Of course I feel betrayed but it goes way beyond simply a sense of betrayal. you make it sound like some insignificant thing she did like bought a pair of shoes that she never told me about. I have infact attempted arbitration with her and she completely declined it so yes, I do have an attorney that will more than likely end up costing me more than I really care to think. While I am not a millionaire, it is a little bit of money and half of that will make her life in the phillippines pretty damn luxurious while I have to rebuild the financial future for my son and I. While all along it was me who put 99% of everything into this. I dont care that she had kids..thats not even the point. Will I move on with my life? Yes. But stop comparing this to your average run-of-the-mill divorce. I appreciate your input but you have no idea what youre talking about.

[Leatherneck 693]

What??? Good grief. You're encouraging the man to chase a rabbit down a hole. Divorce is expensive and it will wipe him out emotionally as well. Better for him to just accept that the marriage didn't work and move on. Speculating what evidence a family court might find admissible in weighing in on the division of assets and custody of children is futile, IMO. Family Court considers the children's best interest first and foremost, and most family court judges have little patience for spouses who try to play the game of 'gotcha' to each other.

Dude, save yourself a lot of grief and money and go through arbitration rather than divorce court. There are no winners in divorce, no matter what. Focus on a future with your child(ren).

I have to agree with the OP here. If you read the OP's comments and get a good understanding of the magnitude of deception committed by the wife, you'll see what the OP is dealing with is no simple "the marriage didn't work and move on."

By taking steps to strategize for a way to have his marriage be declared "void" or "voidable" and protecting a larger share of his assets is in fact the responsible thing to do for his kid's future.

[TeapotGirl 66]

Divorce is State issue, Immigration issue is national.

Just a wild thought, what if the OP will just report her to be deported first then divorce later? I am sure that the US Dept of Homeland Security will make sure that his kid will be protected. Kid is a USC, father is USC.

[analou scott 8]

Yeah for a child under age 16 to get a passport.

1. Both parents must appear and submit the required documents.

2. Evidence of the child's US citizenship.

3. Evidence of the child's relationship to parents.

But if only one parent appears, then.

1. The second parents notarized written statement or a DS-3053 consenting to the childs issuance of a passport.

2. Staement can not be more than 3 months old and must come with a photocopy of the front and back of the second parent's identification, or

3. Primary evidence of sole authority to apply, or

4. A written statement or DS-3053 (made under penalty of perjury) explaining in detailing the second parent's unavailablity.

You wanna bet she would choose to fake #2 or #4?

i was a single father of my daughter when i got her a passport in 2009. i needed her birth certificate, photo id with her name on it{we used her school lunch card}, a certified copy of the custody papers showing me with sole physical custody, my passport, and i had to take an oath while i was there.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

You may understand what it is like having to go through a divorce. But you have no idea what its like going the things I have been through because of this. For years, her immigration problem (what I knew) was an issue and it impacted so many other aspects of our lives. And I stood by her. Without her EVER hinting that this was the truth. A sense of betrayal? Of course I feel betrayed but it goes way beyond simply a sense of betrayal. you make it sound like some insignificant thing she did like bought a pair of shoes that she never told me about. I have infact attempted arbitration with her and she completely declined it so yes, I do have an attorney that will more than likely end up costing me more than I really care to think. While I am not a millionaire, it is a little bit of money and half of that will make her life in the phillippines pretty damn luxurious while I have to rebuild the financial future for my son and I. While all along it was me who put 99% of everything into this. I dont care that she had kids..thats not even the point. Will I move on with my life? Yes. But stop comparing this to your average run-of-the-mill divorce. I appreciate your input but you have no idea what youre talking about.

When you say you put 99% of everything into this, are you inferring that she didn't work outside the home, or if she did, her salary was miniscule to yours? Because your lawyer should have explained to you that actually works against you in terms of how much she'll be eligible for alimony? Are you inferring that she only took care of the kids 1% of the time? Because if so, you'll have to convince the judge that in spite of you being the bread winner, you were the one who got the kids up for school, prepared their meals, helped them with their homework, did all the grocery shopping, clothes washing, etc., while she sat on her ####### and ate bon bons. If that's not the case, you'll have to convince the judge that during your 15 marriage, even though she did all the typical things a spouse and homemaker would do, she doesn't deserve to be financially supported.

As for her moving back to the Philippines, she won't be able to do that if you both have joint custody of your son, unless he's old enough to choose to live with his mother, but even that gets sticky. Most states now protect the bond between children and both parents, so she can't just take off. Unless of course, you think that she'll be forced to leave this country - I have a hard time believing that immigration would do that because of her length here and the fact that her children are U.S. citizens.

Good luck, whatever you do, but I still think you'd be better off negotiating with her through arbitration rather than hoping a family court judge is going to rule in your favor, because Family Law looks out for the best interests of the children first and foremost.

[analou scott 8]

Divorce is State issue, Immigration issue is national.

Just a wild thought, what if the OP will just report her to be deported first then divorce later? I am sure that the US Dept of Homeland Security will make sure that his kid will be protected. Kid is a USC, father is USC.

i had the same thought last night. she has an immigration hearing in jan? i would wait to find out what happens there before doing anything more. if she is deported, she will be in a much better bargaining position for you. i wonder if you can attend that hearing?

[TeapotGirl 66]

i had the same thought last night. she has an immigration hearing in jan? i would wait to find out what happens there before doing anything more. if she is deported, she will be in a much better bargaining position for you. i wonder if you can attend that hearing?

I would love to.

children are U.S. citizens.

She has another illegal immigrant kid in FL.

[ECS 3]

When you say you put 99% of everything into this, are you inferring that she didn't work outside the home, or if she did, her salary was miniscule to yours? Because your lawyer should have explained to you that actually works against you in terms of how much she'll be eligible for alimony? Are you inferring that she only took care of the kids 1% of the time? Because if so, you'll have to convince the judge that in spite of you being the bread winner, you were the one who got the kids up for school, prepared their meals, helped them with their homework, did all the grocery shopping, clothes washing, etc., while she sat on her ####### and ate bon bons. If that's not the case, you'll have to convince the judge that during your 15 marriage, even though she did all the typical things a spouse and homemaker would do, she doesn't deserve to be financially supported.

As for her moving back to the Philippines, she won't be able to do that if you both have joint custody of your son, unless he's old enough to choose to live with his mother, but even that gets sticky. Most states now protect the bond between children and both parents, so she can't just take off. Unless of course, you think that she'll be forced to leave this country - I have a hard time believing that immigration would do that because of her length here and the fact that her children are U.S. citizens.

Good luck, whatever you do, but I still think you'd be better off negotiating with her through arbitration rather than hoping a family court judge is going to rule in your favor, because Family Law looks out for the best interests of the children first and foremost.

She worked outside the home but I provided for 99% financially (OK..maybe I am slightly exaggerating so I would even go down to 90%) Her salary was/is much lower than mine, so I am the one who paid almost every single bill including rent, morgage, utilities, insurance, car payments, etc...

As far as being a good mother and wife? Yes, she was a good mother and wife in the fact that she kept the house clean and our clothes washed but its not like I sat on the couch watching football and drinking beer. I did the so-called "man" duties while she did the so-called "woman" duties, so we are even there. I am not saying she is a lazy, good-for-nothing B**** because she wasnt. I wouldnt have stayed married to her for those 13 years if she was.

Look, I am not saying she isnt deserving of anything. Even without the orders from the court, I will financially compensate her. But again...50% of everything? For what she has done?

i had the same thought last night. she has an immigration hearing in jan? i would wait to find out what happens there before doing anything more. if she is deported, she will be in a much better bargaining position for you. i wonder if you can attend that hearing?

That is why I waited this long to proceed with the divorce. I wanted to wait and see what was going on with the immigration. But her hearing was supposed to be in July and it was pushed back to Jan. Who knows if it will be pushed back again and again. And if she does get deported, she may appeal it so that will even extend this. If she doesnt appeal, she will probably be gone within 30 days but that means she will have her lawyer represent her in court in her absence. I just need to get this over with and move on with my life.

Yes. I will be at that hearing.

[TeapotGirl 66]

Who knows if it will be pushed back again and again. And if she does get deported, she may appeal it so that will even extend this. If she doesnt appeal, she will probably be gone within 30 days but that means she will have her lawyer represent her in court in her absence. I just need to get this over with and move on with my life. Yes. I will be at that hearing.

If your son is 15 now, then it may pushed back until he turns 18. Your wife can't take him anymore with just anywhere she wants because he's already an adult. Just a thought of a brighter side.

[VanessaTony 3,567]

As for her moving back to the Philippines, she won't be able to do that if you both have joint custody of your son, unless he's old enough to choose to live with his mother, but even that gets sticky. Most states now protect the bond between children and both parents, so she can't just take off. Unless of course, you think that she'll be forced to leave this country - I have a hard time believing that immigration would do that because of her length here and the fact that her children are U.S. citizens.

Good luck, whatever you do, but I still think you'd be better off negotiating with her through arbitration rather than hoping a family court judge is going to rule in your favor, because Family Law looks out for the best interests of the children first and foremost.

You SERIOUSLY think Immigration wont deport her? Of course they will! USC children aren't anchor babies, especially in this case where they have a perfectly capable USC parent. Doesn't matter if they get awarded joint custody, she's still deportable and that will of course change the custody arrangement.

I think it's funny that you say immigration will consider her length here.. especially considering they were going to deport her long ago but she LIED and committed FRAUD to convince them she wasn't a bigamist and so eligible to stay. Now they have PROOF she is lied and a bigamist and should have been deported the first time... they are more than likely to deport her, USC children aren't a factor to prevent this whole "anchor baby" scenario.

[ECS 3]

You SERIOUSLY think Immigration wont deport her? Of course they will! USC children aren't anchor babies, especially in this case where they have a perfectly capable USC parent. Doesn't matter if they get awarded joint custody, she's still deportable and that will of course change the custody arrangement.

I think it's funny that you say immigration will consider her length here.. especially considering they were going to deport her long ago but she LIED and committed FRAUD to convince them she wasn't a bigamist and so eligible to stay. Now they have PROOF she is lied and a bigamist and should have been deported the first time... they are more than likely to deport her, USC children aren't a factor to prevent this whole "anchor baby" scenario.

I honestly do not want her deported and if there was something that I could do to keep that from happening, I would. I mean she is still the mother of my son and we did spend almost 15 years togther. I do not hate her and I am sure she has reasons why she did what she did. HOWEVER, that does not mean I want to continue to be in a marital facade with her. The marriage could NEVER be right ever again. And it also doesnt mean that I do not want to protect my financial interests for my son and my future.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

You SERIOUSLY think Immigration wont deport her? Of course they will! USC children aren't anchor babies, especially in this case where they have a perfectly capable USC parent. Doesn't matter if they get awarded joint custody, she's still deportable and that will of course change the custody arrangement.

I think it's funny that you say immigration will consider her length here.. especially considering they were going to deport her long ago but she LIED and committed FRAUD to convince them she wasn't a bigamist and so eligible to stay. Now they have PROOF she is lied and a bigamist and should have been deported the first time... they are more than likely to deport her, USC children aren't a factor to prevent this whole "anchor baby" scenario.

You are something else....calling the children anchor babies. That's quite insulting. Good grief. If you think it's a simple open and closed book case, then why don't you represent him? It's all speculation at this point.

[VanessaTony 3,567]

You are something else....calling the children anchor babies. That's quite insulting. Good grief. If you think it's a simple open and closed book case, then why don't you represent him? It's all speculation at this point.

Umm what? Lol. YOU said "I have a hard time believing that immigration would do that because of her length here and the fact that her children are U.S. citizens.".. maybe you don't understand what the term "anchor baby" means. You suggested the USC children would "anchor" her to the US (making them "anchor babies")... I was refuting that. The term doesn't mean she had the children for that purpose, but you seem to think they will work in that manner.