Precipitous Marriage?

[MalaysianGirl 26]

I wonder how many applications were canceled or no action was taken because things fell apart in the meantime while waiting for the processing to complete? hmmm Would be an interesting statistic.

I am one of those ex-foreign beneficiaries who cancelled the K1 visa process. It wasn't because I didn't know my ex-fiance (USC) well enough; in fact I knew too much about him, LOL. It was because he had unresolved issues with his ex-wife. If he had "eliminated" her from his life, i.e. let her be his past and not his present, we would have gotten married.

Just thought I'd share.

[issha2lynden 77]

The below were NOT online relationships, but in-real-life ones:

My friend's friend dated for 10 years, got married, and divorced after 2 months.

Another of my friend dated her now-husband for 6 months in 2003, got married, and are still happily married.

The below were online relationships:

Another friend dated her now-husband for around 6 months in 2003-2004, got married, and are still happily married with 2 daughters.

Yet another friend dated her now-husband for about 1 year in 2003, got married, and are still happily married with one son.

Every relationship is different. Can't judge. Can't understand? No one is asking you to.

P.S. I came to the above conclusion not very easily myself... at first I was extremely skeptical of my friends' relationships. But I have changed my mind in their cases. Sometimes I am still skeptical of some online relationships that were quick and ended in marriages, but I am more willing to give them the benefit of the doubt.

I LIKEY!

[issha2lynden 77]

Yet you use the word "bangs".

Hey rebecca sorry if that word offenses you but that's my hubby way of joking about it. Sometimes I use words that might not be proper pardon me..don't take it against me as english is not my first language. I stick to the truthfulness of what I said though it is true. People wait and have free sex. COOL?

[issha2lynden 77]

ROFL

SOTY bang,sex, hump, what ever you call it..I don't find any of these words to be impolite or out of christian measure of decency. It is just how u say it! Sorry if it offenses though.

[AmyWrites 593]

I "knew" I'd marry my SO a month in on our relationship, but we haven't gotten married, because, hell, even if we both "know", we have to make sure I finish uni, that we have enough savings, etc.

I do think a huge part in why many VJ'ers get married so fast is to simply be together. There are countries in which getting a tourist visa to the US is next to impossible, and the USC for some reason or the other can't visit often. I've been lucky in the sense that I live in Russia, but I think people who are not able to see their spouse often are more likely to just get married and file because they need to be together. So I don't judge people who do it, as I can't imagine my life without my SO... if I was forced to be away from him for so long I'd go crazy, so if I didn't live in Russia I would've probably gotten married already.

Edited November 9, 2011 by AmyWrites

[Adam & May 4]

I hate reading about couples who meet on filipanheart.com or whatever it is and then you see 40 or 50 yo men with little girls for fiancees. Its like buying a sex slave imo cause most filipina with these old men are trying to escape a bad place or hoping for a better life on the other side which isnt always the case. As for me i met my fiancee on a business trip to the cayman islands and i flew there 7 times over a 1 in a half yer period, I got to know her as a person not just chatting online but actually in person. I wasnt looking for a filipina or anyone for that matter it just so happened thats what she was when i met her, anyways look theres better ways to meet people than on a website thousands of miles away. If you want to find a filipina i say try the cayman islands first, its like little Philippines and youll find filipinas in about every store in Georgetown and atleast its a hell of a lot less expensive to fly visit and get to know them first.

I am happy to say that we've met on Filipinaheart! No regrets on our parts. But I don't think that we are the demographic you're talking about.

[2 N 1 for life 3]

I think it's a good thing to ask questions. But when I'm comparing myself, my situation to others and making a judgement call like the marriage is for immigration purposes is judgemental and NOT based on any evidence that can be weighed here.

I don't even try to figure out the why's about anothers relationship/marriage, as long as mine is secure and we overcome the trials that come in every marriage then thats all that matters. wether its a week, months or years in the time frame that results in someones marriage, I wont lose any sleep with the choices they've made with their lifes. Do what makes you happy, be with the one you love, Lifes too short to concern myself about anothers free choice or free will to marry whom they desire in whatever time frame they see fit. This is my motto not just my opinion in which we all are entitled to. 3 years of marriage and counting praying for many more years to come

[Adam & May 4]

I hate reading about couples who meet on filipanheart.com or whatever it is and then you see 40 or 50 yo men with little girls for fiancees. Its like buying a sex slave imo cause most filipina with these old men are trying to escape a bad place or hoping for a better life on the other side which isnt always the case. As for me i met my fiancee on a business trip to the cayman islands and i flew there 7 times over a 1 in a half yer period, I got to know her as a person not just chatting online but actually in person. I wasnt looking for a filipina or anyone for that matter it just so happened thats what she was when i met her, anyways look theres better ways to meet people than on a website thousands of miles away. If you want to find a filipina i say try the cayman islands first, its like little Philippines and youll find filipinas in about every store in Georgetown and atleast its a hell of a lot less expensive to fly visit and get to know them first.

I am happy to say that we've met on Filipinaheart! No regrets on our parts. But I don't think that we are the demographic you're talking about.

And oh, both of us spent money to our process. And both of us has a good life in our respective countries

[issha2lynden 77]

I am happy to say that we've met on Filipinaheart! No regrets on our parts. But I don't think that we are the demographic you're talking about.

And oh, both of us spent money to our process. And both of us has a good life in our respective countries

LEMME RIDE WITH YOUR BOAT!

[steffbry 5]

i dont care what anyone else does... i dont think about there reasons... i dont question them... all i care about is that jenni and i are happy and our relationship is strong.

sweet! it really depends on how you handle your relationship. courted my fiance less than a month, together for almost 5 years engaged more than 7months already. it doesn't really matter how long you've been together, it's just how you both are happy with the relationship and keep it stronger

[vinotinto 3]

what is the true definition of dating or courtship?i think most of us are confusing the two words...a matured man and woman who have the same interests and ideology bout marriage can know within hours wat they both want.1,5,10yrs is not a time enuff to know anybody...most our parents never knew who we really are

Ill say here dat its not illegal to meet sumone in the morning and marry them before night fall....if not for immigration who will care about when and how u met each other...

[SuperDuper! 230]

I don't understand people either. My wife and I dated for 7 years before we got married.

It's ok. Get a cat. If you understand cats, you will be able to understand people. We will welcome you soon to knowing your fellow man.

[dukeandduchess 141]

Some people are married who should be married. Some people who are married should not be married.

It has nothing to do with how long you've known someone. It has to do with compatibility. I've been in love with people where I knew something wasn't right with the relationship and it has ended. I still love the people, but we are not right for each other. I knew I would marry my fiance the moment I met him because there was just something so special and amazing that made me feel like I found something that was missing from my life. We compliment each other so well and other people notice it too. I have never been as comfortable expressing myself or just simply "existing" with anyone but my fiance (including friends and family). While I know my parents will love me no matter what I do, you don't often find the same unconditional love from a friend or partner.

We got engaged after 1 year, and have currently been together for 2.5 years (long distance).

Although I can empathize with not understanding the "rush to get married", I think the problem is more that people get married for the wrong reasons.

[dukeandduchess 141]

It's ok. Get a cat. If you understand cats, you will be able to understand people. We will welcome you soon to knowing your fellow man.

A+

[SOTY 0]

Although I can empathize with not understanding the "rush to get married", I think the problem is more that people get married for the wrong reasons.

That's true.

However, my point is, that I believe those 'wrong reasons' have a higher chance of cropping up when things are rushed into.

Getting married after a few months of meeting someone, especially if only met once or twice in person seems very risky to me.