Vawa

[Jane Smith 0]

I am married to USC, and we filed for AOS based on the marriage. We have been married for about 6 months. As soon as we got married, he became very abusive. It was mostly psychological abuse but recently he became physically abusive as well. He has been calling me names on a regular basis, threatening to file for divorce... Before we filed for AOS he was threatening to not file for AOS, and after we filed, he started threatening to not go to the interview. I have put up with all of it, but the interview is coming up and now he is saying that he will go but will not put any effort into preparing for the interview. I have read interview experiences, and it seems that even legitimate couples will get denied if they're not properly prepared. Of course there's a lot more to the abuse than him not going to the interview. I have records that I have been diagnosed with depression and anxiety due to relationship problems, I have records of one counseling session I went to. The problem is that, like many abusers, he is nice in front of other people, so I don't have witnesses of abuse. I have friends I talk to and have told them about what he does to me but I am not sure if that would be admissible since they did not witness any of it. None of my friends want to come over if my husband is home. I also know that he is cheating on me, but I know that doesn't constitute abuse, just a really crappy marriage. The only time I called the police was when he hit me about a month ago, and I refused to give statement because he said he was going to get me deported. I did obtain police record but they did not press charges. My husband has an extensive domestic abuse record that I didn't even know of until after we got married, as well as some other non-domestic stuff on his criminal record. He is a very dangerous and violent man who has threatened to kill me on several occasions. Of course, this is all without witnesses. He is also unemployed, and if I kick him out will be homeless. So, I am pretty sure he will get very violent and dangerous. Sorry about the rant, but I cannot afford a lawyer and need advice on whether I should file VAWA or not. I know there's a lot of people here that have extensive knowledge on the subject. Any info or advice will be greatly appreciated.

PS Can I get a restraining order based on that 1 police record I have?

[Boiler 45,525]

Have you thought of just going home?

[ceadsearc 516]

I would go down to your local police department and tell them what you have told us and then ask them what their requirements are for a restraining order. In some states if you do not qualify for a restraining order you can still get a peace order. Good luck.

[Jane Smith 0]

I have thought about going home. Partially it is my stubborness. I came here in 2008 on a student visa and do not want to go back home before I get my BA. I could have stayed without getting married but I got a really good job offer and my husband and I talked about different options available. We both decided that we should get married since we had been talking about it for a while, and if I continued my student visa I would not be allowed to work. If I go back now, I will have spent 3 years and over $40,000 on nothing. And it's all in student loans fom my home country that I will have to pay back. And still have no degree. Plus, I have built a life here in the last 3.5 years.

I'm just sick of being constantly yelled at for hours, called names, threatened... and I do understand it is a matter of time before he hits me again. Now we're going through a 'calm' period. He still insults me on a daily basis but I've grown used to it.

[mar2011 1]

I have thought about going home. Partially it is my stubborness. I came here in 2008 on a student visa and do not want to go back home before I get my BA. I could have stayed without getting married but I got a really good job offer and my husband and I talked about different options available. We both decided that we should get married since we had been talking about it for a while, and if I continued my student visa I would not be allowed to work. If I go back now, I will have spent 3 years and over $40,000 on nothing. And it's all in student loans fom my home country that I will have to pay back. And still have no degree. Plus, I have built a life here in the last 3.5 years.

I'm just sick of being constantly yelled at for hours, called names, threatened... and I do understand it is a matter of time before he hits me again. Now we're going through a 'calm' period. He still insults me on a daily basis but I've grown used to it.

That sounds so sad... Did you have any red flags before you got married?

[Jane Smith 0]

That sounds so sad... Did you have any red flags before you got married?

In retrospect, yes. But it's too late for that now. I did get an Order for Protection yesterday. And I left the apartment on Wednesday and went to a shelter. Now I just need to wait until he is served before I can go back to my apartment. My cats are also being boarded by the shelter. Unfortunately, I cannot go and see them. I was hoping he would be served soon but it seems it might take up to 2 weeks. It sucks working 2 jobs and living at a shelter. Although I am grateful for having a roof over my head. I cannot afford a lawyer, and will be filing for VAWA on my own. Any advice I can get would be appreciated. I know there's a lot of people here who went through the same thing.