does and don'ts

[Dara & Tim 0]

Hello All,

After several months of internet chats, soon I will be meeting Danita in Thailand for the first time. I had a bad experience with a fiancee from Vietnam a few years ago and we made some immigration mistakes before we even filed. Because of some Vietnamese traditions , we made the mistake of getting engaged on my first trip, and it was not good that a family member introduced us. We could not and i would not lie about the introduction but we should have known about waiting longer for the engagement ceremony. I know that fraud is very common from Vietnam and that is why the pick on such small things. I would like to try to avoid these little things this time from the beginning if things go as expected between Danita and I. Sorry for the long setup. My question, is there a list of does and don'ts that would be specific to the US Embassy in Thailand? I have already looked through a lot of posts but did not really see any thing that stood out.

If things go well we would plan to marry in Thailand on my 3rd trip, with some of my family attending.

Thank you

Tim

[Karee 4,190]

Hello All,

After several months of internet chats, soon I will be meeting Danita in Thailand for the first time. I had a bad experience with a fiancee from Vietnam a few years ago and we made some immigration mistakes before we even filed. Because of some Vietnamese traditions , we made the mistake of getting engaged on my first trip, and it was not good that a family member introduced us. We could not and i would not lie about the introduction but we should have known about waiting longer for the engagement ceremony. I know that fraud is very common from Vietnam and that is why the pick on such small things. I would like to try to avoid these little things this time from the beginning if things go as expected between Danita and I. Sorry for the long setup. My question, is there a list of does and don'ts that would be specific to the US Embassy in Thailand? I have already looked through a lot of posts but did not really see any thing that stood out.

If things go well we would plan to marry in Thailand on my 3rd trip, with some of my family attending.

Thank you

Tim

Vietnam and Thailand are different. I think Vietnam is considered a high fraud country due to all the immigrants that came here after the war. I think there are cases of arranged marriages in Vietnam to get family members visas strictly for immigration. Thailand doesn't have that issue.

Did you actually file a petition for the girl in Vietnam?

[cactus john 1]

Vietnam and Thailand are different. I think Vietnam is considered a high fraud country due to all the immigrants that came here after the war. I think there are cases of arranged marriages in Vietnam to get family members visas strictly for immigration. Thailand doesn't have that issue.

Did you actually file a petition for the girl in Vietnam?

and already plannng to marry without even meeting her?

You haven't sent her any money yet, right?

[rsn 135]

Hello All,

After several months of internet chats, soon I will be meeting Danita in Thailand for the first time. I had a bad experience with a fiancee from Vietnam a few years ago and we made some immigration mistakes before we even filed. Because of some Vietnamese traditions , we made the mistake of getting engaged on my first trip, and it was not good that a family member introduced us. We could not and i would not lie about the introduction but we should have known about waiting longer for the engagement ceremony. I know that fraud is very common from Vietnam and that is why the pick on such small things. I would like to try to avoid these little things this time from the beginning if things go as expected between Danita and I. Sorry for the long setup. My question, is there a list of does and don'ts that would be specific to the US Embassy in Thailand? I have already looked through a lot of posts but did not really see any thing that stood out.

If things go well we would plan to marry in Thailand on my 3rd trip, with some of my family attending.

Thank you

Tim

I would say don't send money to her, ever (unless it's to pay for visa-related fees). Nothing good can come out of that I would imagine.

As Karee said, Thailand is not, as far as I know, considered to be a high-fraud country. In fact, Thailand is likely the most (or one of the most) well-off country in SE asia. Just take it slow, take lots of photos on your trips (of you and your g/f), get to know her WELL, and have lots of proof of communication.

Why are you going the CR1 route? Why did you pick that over K1? Just curious.

[Ning 619]

Hello All,

After several months of internet chats, soon I will be meeting Danita in Thailand for the first time. I had a bad experience with a fiancee from Vietnam a few years ago and we made some immigration mistakes before we even filed. Because of some Vietnamese traditions , we made the mistake of getting engaged on my first trip, and it was not good that a family member introduced us. We could not and i would not lie about the introduction but we should have known about waiting longer for the engagement ceremony. I know that fraud is very common from Vietnam and that is why the pick on such small things. I would like to try to avoid these little things this time from the beginning if things go as expected between Danita and I. Sorry for the long setup. My question, is there a list of does and don'ts that would be specific to the US Embassy in Thailand? I have already looked through a lot of posts but did not really see any thing that stood out.

If things go well we would plan to marry in Thailand on my 3rd trip, with some of my family attending.

Thank you

Tim

While Thailand isnt as bad as V N for fraud there is still plenty. There is no list that I know of. Common sense & V J will be all you need.

The best thing you could do right now is to find Thailand Fever on Amazon. You can see an overview on Amazon. Its the best written info to help you. Your fiance can buy it at many book stores in Thailand for about 500 baht. Written by an American man & Thai women. Half in English, half in Thai. Ask your fiance to formulate some questions for you & you do the same. You will see what I mean. Nothing to do with visas but everything to do with people, cultures, finding common ground. Some info to help you later about marrige. The concept of "sin sod". I strongly suggest you look into that concept & take time to ask informed people for advise before you make gestures or commitments you may regret. Feel free to P M me if I can be of help.

After your meeting you will know better how & when you want to proceed. The meeting fills one important criteria. Will one meeting result in the need for a K 1? You seem to say it may turn into marriage after 3 trips. This means you have plenty of time to be ready for the preparation of the petition ( 130 ) for a C R 1. You will soon learn the methods & means to gain what you want. That will end the quest for a list.

As far as sending money there are different schools of thought. It isnt good if it were to give the impression you were buying a bride of course. I know several scammers myself. They are not what most Thais are about & we dont have any respect for them. Our religion teaches & demands better. We believe they will pay a heavy price later.

My husband did something unusual. I never asked him for money. We met on line. A month or so later I found out he sent 700 dollars to me. He told me to go get it which I did. After we married many months later I asked him if he wanted to know about the money. He said no. I asked why he sent it when I didnt ask. He said he wanted to see what happened if he sent it. To this day he has never asked me & I never ask him for money. He says what we have is ours.

[Dara & Tim 0]

Thanks for the information.

I am not sure where where someone got the idea that i would be sending money to Thailand. My best friend introduced me to the Viet woman (his niece) and it took me and her family 2 years to find out she has a bf in vietnam. She fooled me and Uncles. Please believe me when i say i am being very careful this time. Danita and I have been chatting for several months online and on the phone and we are only talking marriage if things go well between us but i also did not want to make simple avoidable immigration mistakes right from the beginning.

Yes, relationship compatibility is the number one concern but we cant ignore possible immigration issues of the future,.... if we make it that far.

Yes, i did file with the Viet and she failed the interview and i know this is a problem that will need to be addressed and we are already well past the waiting period to file for someone else.

Just hoping for the best and trying to get my ducks in a row, but always with my eyes wide open.

I am happy to learn that at least the immigration process from Thailand seems it might be a bit more straight forward than Vietnam, that is what my original question was about.

Thanks

Tim

[Dara & Tim 0]

Why the CR-1,

It just looks like a cleaner process on the back end, not needing to file for adjustment of status and she is a resident sooner ( if all goes well). The average time for AOS for Memphis is about 200 days.

It would also be easier for some of my family to attend a wedding in Thailand then for her family to be in the US.

P.S. This is all based on the assumption that Danita and I are compatible.

Tim

[Ning 619]

Thanks for the information.

I am not sure where where someone got the idea that i would be sending money to Thailand. My best friend introduced me to the Viet woman (his niece) and it took me and her family 2 years to find out she has a bf in vietnam. She fooled me and Uncles. Please believe me when i say i am being very careful this time. Danita and I have been chatting for several months online and on the phone and we are only talking marriage if things go well between us but i also did not want to make simple avoidable immigration mistakes right from the beginning.

Yes, relationship compatibility is the number one concern but we cant ignore possible immigration issues of the future,.... if we make it that far.

Yes, i did file with the Viet and she failed the interview and i know this is a problem that will need to be addressed and we are already well past the waiting period to file for someone else.

Just hoping for the best and trying to get my ducks in a row, but always with my eyes wide open.

I am happy to learn that at least the immigration process from Thailand seems it might be a bit more straight forward than Vietnam, that is what my original question was about.

Thanks

Tim

You asked for do's * dont's. People assumed you may not know of the impact if the embassy found you had sent money to her for support or whatever. Especially over a period of time. Thats my best guess. Also Thais are known to ask for it & if they do you can be sure the interest is in the cash flow & not you. Someone I know just went thru this fleecing process.

[Ning 619]

Why the CR-1,

It just looks like a cleaner process on the back end, not needing to file for adjustment of status and she is a resident sooner ( if all goes well). The average time for AOS for Memphis is about 200 days.

It would also be easier for some of my family to attend a wedding in Thailand then for her family to be in the US.

P.S. This is all based on the assumption that Danita and I are compatible.

Tim

Her family will not be attending a wedding in the USA. They can not get tourist visas to do so.

[Dara & Tim 0]

Her family will not be attending a wedding in the USA. They can not get tourist visas to do so.

That is why i said it is easier for my family to go to Thailand.

Tim

[Dara & Tim 0]

You asked for do's * dont's. People assumed you may not know of the impact if the embassy found you had sent money to her for support or whatever. Especially over a period of time. Thats my best guess. Also Thais are known to ask for it & if they do you can be sure the interest is in the cash flow & not you. Someone I know just went thru this fleecing process.

This is good to know, Thanks.

The same goes for Vietnam too.

Tim

[rsn 135]

Why the CR-1,

It just looks like a cleaner process on the back end, not needing to file for adjustment of status and she is a resident sooner ( if all goes well). The average time for AOS for Memphis is about 200 days.

It would also be easier for some of my family to attend a wedding in Thailand then for her family to be in the US.

P.S. This is all based on the assumption that Danita and I are compatible.

Tim

I personally would recommend the K1 for someone in your situation. Unless you have spent quite a bit of time living with your fiancee/girlfriend, I assert that the K1 is a much safer route to go. Really, the waiting difference between the cr1 and the k1 is negligible, for all intents and purposes. Also, applying for AOS after a K1 is not a big deal, since she is already here. For someone like yourself who is taking the cautious route and has been burned before, the K1 is the best option I would think. You likely won't spend a considerable amount of time with her until she arrives in the U.S.. With the K1, if things don't work out, either now or after she arrives, you don't have to deal with lawyers, a messy divorce, splitting up assets, etc. You each go your separate ways and move on. Regardless of what anyone says, the K1 is a "90-day-trial-run visa". It really is, unless you and your significant other have spent a great deal of time together before their arrival in the U.S.

As far as the wedding situation, you can do what many others, myself included have done. We had a small legal wedding in the U.S. w/ immediate family to fulfill our obligations within the 90 days after her arrival, then had a larger reception in the U.S. for everyone else. Later on, we went back to Thailand and had a traditional ceremony for her friends, family, village residents, etc. It's amazing how far a dollar goes in Thailand, so you can throw a really nice ceremony/party for almost nothing (relatively speaking).

If you really are going the cautious route, I would strongly suggest you consider a K1 instead. I was hesitant, like yourself, which is why i chose the K1, and I felt it was a very good decision, even though everything worked out. I knew almost nothing about Thai culture when I met my wife, as I was on vacation visiting a friend and had no intention of meeting a wife at the time. So, I decided that the safest, most cautious route involved the K1. Perhaps this is true for you as well.

Edited November 6, 2011 by rsn

[MalaysianGirl 26]

As Karee said, Thailand is not, as far as I know, considered to be a high-fraud country. In fact, Thailand is likely the most (or one of the most) well-off country in SE asia.

Sorry, but I'm curious, rsn, where did you get that? The part where you said Thailand is likely "one of the most well-off SEA country" would be correct, while the other is most probably not. As far as I know, Brunei is the most well-off SEA country, followed by Singapore, and then Malaysia.

http://wiki.answers.com/Q/What_are_the_Richest_Countries_in_Southeast_Asia

When I went to Thailand many years ago I saw many poverty-stricken people. But perhaps that was just Chiangmai. Not sure how it is in Bangkok.

No offense intended, by the way. Just curious.

[Ning 619]

I personally would recommend the K1 for someone in your situation. Unless you have spent quite a bit of time living with your fiancee/girlfriend, I assert that the K1 is a much safer route to go. Really, the waiting difference between the cr1 and the k1 is negligible, for all intents and purposes. Also, applying for AOS after a K1 is not a big deal, since she is already here. For someone like yourself who is taking the cautious route and has been burned before, the K1 is the best option I would think. You likely won't spend a considerable amount of time with her until she arrives in the U.S.. With the K1, if things don't work out, either now or after she arrives, you don't have to deal with lawyers, a messy divorce, splitting up assets, etc. You each go your separate ways and move on. Regardless of what anyone says, the K1 is a "90-day-trial-run visa". It really is, unless you and your significant other have spent a great deal of time together before their arrival in the U.S.

As far as the wedding situation, you can do what many others, myself included have done. We had a small legal wedding in the U.S. w/ immediate family to fulfill our obligations within the 90 days after her arrival, then had a larger reception in the U.S. for everyone else. Later on, we went back to Thailand and had a traditional ceremony for her friends, family, village residents, etc. It's amazing how far a dollar goes in Thailand, so you can throw a really nice ceremony/party for almost nothing (relatively speaking).

If you really are going the cautious route, I would strongly suggest you consider a K1 instead. I was hesitant, like yourself, which is why i chose the K1, and I felt it was a very good decision, even though everything worked out. I knew almost nothing about Thai culture when I met my wife, as I was on vacation visiting a friend and had no intention of meeting a wife at the time. So, I decided that the safest, most cautious route involved the K1. Perhaps this is true for you as well.

Rsn is an experianced, respected member of V J & reading this I have to agree. This is well written with many good points.

From what I have seen Tim is just now gathering info to allow himself to make an informed decision later. The thoughts on how to be married in both places may be helpful to know.

I married in Thailand but did not have the traditional wedding. My mother said she understood but I have some regrets at times. My husband & I decided to spend any money we had for that on helping members of the family because the need was so great & my husband felt it was more important.

[rsn 135]

Sorry, but I'm curious, rsn, where did you get that? The part where you said Thailand is likely "one of the most well-off SEA country" would be correct, while the other is most probably not. As far as I know, Brunei is the most well-off SEA country, followed by Singapore, and then Malaysia.

http://wiki.answers.com/Q/What_are_the_Richest_Countries_in_Southeast_Asia

When I went to Thailand many years ago I saw many poverty-stricken people. But perhaps that was just Chiangmai. Not sure how it is in Bangkok.

No offense intended, by the way. Just curious.

According to your link, my statement is correct. Note that I said Thailand is one of the most well off countries, and not THE MOST well off country. I also did not imply that Thailand has no poverty. Every country has poverty. Perhaps I could have phrased it differently though. Thailand is one of the more well off countries, or something along those lines.

Edited November 6, 2011 by rsn