Love Doesn't Conquer All

[rlogan 2,036]

It is true for us. Love does not conquer all.

It does not conquer two kids, work, bills, laziness of old age and years of the same person. We're down to once or twice a day now. It's like I hardly even know her anymore.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

Thank you, I love him so much, I cant even imagine how can he do this to me.. All I want is to be happy, with him, I try my best to adjust here, to understand him, but I feel like everything is wasn't enough so far... even willing to forgive him, for some little condition but he cant do it, telling me that he loves me and only me is enough,to trust him again without any conditions.. C'mon! give me a break? That's it? he think is so easy just like that? How can I trust him again? if simple prove that I ask he cant do it?! Anyway, about your question, been here for a year now. How about your wife? how long she's been here too?

Yeah, I don't know what to say, but I think if you both want the marriage to work, go see a counselor.

My wife and stepson have been here about 4 1/2 years. The first couple of weeks were the most difficult.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

Yes it happens, but remember the same thing happens in about 50% of American marriages also. Nothing is promised in life not even your next breath. If I sit here and do nothing then my chance of relationship failure is 100% . I will be glad to take a chance on love.

I have a lot of friends that are very happily married to Pinay and have wonderful loving relationships and have had for years. I also know a few that got burned. Such is life.

Sure, but with these LDR, there's a lot more faith required, given that neither one has really gotten to see the other that much....to see them in their darkest hour, when they aren't in a good mood, or to see how they handle real conflict. Couples who live closer to one another are more likely to see those sides of their partner with given enough time.

[The Nature Boy 4,224]

It is true for us. Love does not conquer all.

It does not conquer two kids, work, bills, laziness of old age and years of the same person. We're down to once or twice a day now. It's like I hardly even know her anymore.

Once or twice a day .WOOOOHOO

[MalaysianGirl 26]

Gotta remember that for inter-cultural relationships (be it LDR or non-LDR ones), the "cultural" part is extremely important. CULTURE DIFFERENCES will affect any relationship, no matter how accustomed the beneficiary is to the local culture (i.e. American culture in this context), or how accustomed the petitioner is to the culture of the beneficiary.

Knowing someone's culture is different from having grown up in that culture.

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

Gotta remember that for inter-cultural relationships (be it LDR or non-LDR ones), the "cultural" part is extremely important. CULTURE DIFFERENCES will affect any relationship, no matter how accustomed the beneficiary is to the local culture (i.e. American culture in this context), or how accustomed the petitioner is to the culture of the beneficiary.

Knowing someone's culture is different from having grown up in that culture.

But this is Philippines. What is there to know? It's just old desperate Kano marrying young tasty Pinay.

[MalaysianGirl 26]

But this is Philippines. What is there to know? It's just old desperate Kano marrying young tasty Pinay.

LOL

[southcalhog 43]

Once or twice a day .WOOOOHOO

[MyLittlePony 340]

It takes a long time and still working out the bugs after 8 years lol.

[Psoas10 17]

I grew up all my life in the Filipino/Asian culture, and we still had our cultural differences. The problem for me, is that her culture and mine is similliar. So I would expect her to know all the little differences. Then we would fight, but now we are good. In fact I think she has it easier here, than someone from the Mainland.

[A and T 82]

I left the usa to move to the philippines with my wife, Imagine her shock! But, things are great I think we are very happy here . I believe it all comes down to the person, changing the country is a big change you have to support a person when they miss home, family and friends. But its life, someone has to give up some things (like moving to another country)

Luckly my wife understands we went into the marriage as equal, i gave up living the USA to live in the philippines, just as easily as i believe she would have given up the philippines for the usa.

No matter what USCIS puts us through, we are together and happy, if they never approve us then maybe i will send them a thankyou card for my happy life in the philippines.

[Darnell 8,478]

Gotta remember that for inter-cultural relationships (be it LDR or non-LDR ones), the "cultural" part is extremely important. CULTURE DIFFERENCES will affect any relationship, no matter how accustomed the beneficiary is to the local culture (i.e. American culture in this context), or how accustomed the petitioner is to the culture of the beneficiary.

Knowing someone's culture is different from having grown up in that culture.

Yup. so many ppl not take this into any consideration.

My background is different, as I actually lived in China and Singapura and the PI prior to getting engaged with my wife.

LIVING THERE , if'n yer eyes are open and you actually make it into any social circles, is an eye-widening experience.

IMO, not too many folk have that opportunity, alas. To the OP - rlogan's approach works - suggest that you suggest it to others.

[Hank_ 9,174]

Nope love does not conquer all, but it is the foundation from which all is built - without a good foundation all things will crumble. The rest is the grit you are made of, how hard you are willing to work, yes marriage is work... lots of it.

I believe there are two things that are vital to all relationships 1) Acceptance; fully and completely without reservation you must be willing to accept the other person as they are, no plans to change them, no hopes they will change from who they are. 2) Respect; you must respect the believes and values of the other person, you don't have to necessarily embrace them as yourown but simply respect them without question. If you can not do those two things then you failed to get to know the person you married/are marrying from the get go, YOU failed. Of course your SO should give the same.

An LDR is not new to me but this great of a distance is . Long Distance Relationships are truly different animals for sure but sometimes I think they are better if you stay honest and true. I met my past wife on match.com, we lived 2,000 miles a part, we agreed to being very honest with each other and no BS, after all at this time if things turn sideways and things are not appealing it as easy as a click to walk away. Sadly a few years ago cancer took her. And now here I am, to my amazment and surprise, in a very long distance relationship, neither of us were looking to marry a "foreigner" and how we met is even a longer story. But I approached this relationship very openly, as I would say to my sister when we would talk about it I would tell her "see if I can piss Amy off", my sister finally asked "why I was trying to piss her off?" with which I told her I wasn't really it was just an expression with me about being very honest and open if she still likes me when all is said and done... then we are good. No surprises, no being shy talking about yourself even the "nervous stuff", then if you are still talking and you want to actually meet things will be very good... at least it is with me and Amy.

Lastly the move. This is so big, not only moving to another country, not only moving away from family, but also moving into the unknown....and doing this alone. Yes you are there but most of your relationship was online (most times). I moved the 2,000 miles last time, left everyone I knew, started a new life in a new place, not knowng anyone but my wife. Now things are reversed, Amy will be moving the thousands of miles, with the added cultural differences to boot. She has told me this is both exciting and sad for her when she thinks of it, leaving everyone she knows behind. So slap on a large dose of compassion with those tender hugs.

The thing is that one day it is in my plan to move to the Phils with her, if that is still a desire with her and I have told her this... we are in this together and for the long haul - No Refunds/No Returns.

What was the question again???????

Edited November 7, 2011 by Hank_Amy

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

Love works as long as the prospect of divorce makes it too expensive to even consider. It's like doing time, counting the days until one of you expire, or you get paroled.

[sweetpink 1]

Love works as long as the prospect of divorce makes it too expensive to even consider. It's like doing time, counting the days until one of you expire, or you get paroled.