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Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Philippines
Timeline
Posted (edited)

If the relationship do not work, a lot of Americans think they were used for the green card, not knowing that there's something more behind it.

Same thing with some Filipinos who thinks their marriage is a combination of love and good life but later realize they made a huge mistake.

LDR is just like any other relationship. Either it's right or wrong or a wrong that could be right later on. The only differences are you work on a complicated papers and spend a lot of money to be physically together.

Edited by teapotgurl1983

Happy New Year!

Filed: Timeline
Posted (edited)

The question is not if love conquers all, but rather do both parties love each other?

I am afraid teapot is right in SOME cases -- there are Americans who are being used for "green card"

Speaking of which, has anyone seen the movie "Green Card"? Hahaha

I know of a couple who are oceans away, married for three years and have kids but are away from each other for three years because of well...I wouldn't say it is entirely the CO fault but I can't blame the guy for feeling insulted for some "required" (by the CO, not by the law itself) procedure. But that is not our business.

The point is, love can if they truly love each other. The guy visits his wife and kids like twice a year. That is some serious commitment.

Edited by Kang
Filed: Country:
Timeline
Posted

When Anna arrived we both realized that there was a lot change that needed to be made on both sides for us to mesh our lives together.

Here it is 2 years later and we're still making adjustments, thankfully they are much smaller adjustments than in the beginning but we're happy with where we are now.

Posted (edited)

It happens sometimes, or most, because there is a lot different while you are in long distance relationship, chatting everyday, talking tru phone and internet, seems everything is a perfect moment that make you feel that he/she is the one, and get too excited to be together forever.. But when you get started to live together, then the adjustment of the culture and belief, will get in the way, and most the attitudes, its like you will really know better the person when you both live in the same roof, so the problems, attitudes and aggravation is often comes, expecting to each other for what they want, or what you want even difficult to make/take it.. The sudden changes and frustration in situation that makes you think of rejection, feeling sorry for your self, and being trap and even feeling regrets...

So there is always the reason why the changes is happening either the husband or wife's attitude.

Like what happening to our relationships right now, I am married to a USC, we dont even live together that long yet, from the start of our relationship, seems so perfect, exchanging messages, calling each other everyday, how we love each other, excited to live together, but then... you can tell the differences between long distance relationship and living together, I didn't say, in all relationship, coz people has their own differences, some, they become more better and stronger relationships. And now, when I caught my USC husband cheating on me, even he say his sorry blah blah blah... I cant even smile back at him, even he is trying some effort to let us start again, but its hard for me, as the BIG DAMAGE IS ALREADY DONE!

So my point is, if people's changes their attitude there must be a reason why... :(

I am sorry for my English and grammar. But thank you for reading.

Edited by brokenhear28
Filed: Country: Philippines
Timeline
Posted

And now, when I caught my USC husband cheating on me, even he say his sorry blah blah blah... I cant even smile back at him, even he is trying some effort to let us start again, but its hard for me, as the BIG DAMAGE IS ALREADY DONE!

So my point is, if people's changes their attitude there must be a reason why... :(

I am sorry for my English and grammar. But thank you for reading.

Sorry to hear that. :( What an a$$hole. How long have you been here in the states?

Posted

Sorry to hear that. :( What an a$$hole. How long have you been here in the states?

Thank you, I love him so much, I cant even imagine how can he do this to me.. All I want is to be happy, with him, I try my best to adjust here, to understand him, but I feel like everything is wasn't enough so far... even willing to forgive him, for some little condition but he cant do it, telling me that he loves me and only me is enough,to trust him again without any conditions.. C'mon! give me a break? That's it? he think is so easy just like that? How can I trust him again? if simple prove that I ask he cant do it?! :(:angry::bonk: Anyway, about your question, been here for a year now. How about your wife? how long she's been here too?

Posted

Based on the number of struggling Fil/Am relationships that air their laundry here, it appears that "love conquers all," is a lie. The romantic euphoria of believing that once you and your beloved are reunited, nothing will break the bond, quickly fades once the Filipina realizes she's left her entire existence behind, to be with a man she knows little about in comparison. In the context of her life, he's just a tiny blip on her timeline. This relationship was a huge gamble and when she sees her knight-in-shining-armor has some chinks, she starts to realize that she just bet the farm on a goose that doesn't actually lay golden eggs.

Meanwhile, the Kano stands his ground, feeling that his very core of existence is being questioned. Where are the sweet greetings that she once gave via the internet, that made your day? Why has that beautiful smile turned into a permanent scowl? You start to feel duped, cheated, the package didn't represent the content. Your nice-guy persona has been traded in for a spear and war paint.

So whaddya do? Send her back? Call immigration and report it as fraud? Or just maybe, you need to change yourself to make room for someone else. Changing doesn't mean you give up who you are, but you re-evaluate how you are, how you handle conflict, how you handle your emotions, how you communicate, how you deal with disappointment, because there's going to be a lot of disappointment in your marriage, no matter how perfect you imagined it would be.

Yes it happens, but remember the same thing happens in about 50% of American marriages also. Nothing is promised in life not even your next breath. If I sit here and do nothing then my chance of relationship failure is 100% . I will be glad to take a chance on love.

I have a lot of friends that are very happily married to Pinay and have wonderful loving relationships and have had for years. I also know a few that got burned. Such is life.

Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Philippines
Timeline
Posted (edited)

Yes it happens, but remember the same thing happens in about 50% of American marriages also. Nothing is promised in life not even your next breath. If I sit here and do nothing then my chance of relationship failure is 100% . I will be glad to take a chance on love.

I have a lot of friends that are very happily married to Pinay and have wonderful loving relationships and have had for years. I also know a few that got burned. Such is life.

I Agree Scruffy, 100%!!:thumbs: As they say......"True That"!!:thumbs:

Edited by southcalhog

Sent NOA1 April 30th 2011

received May 2nd 2011

NOA1 Notice Date:May 4th 2011

NOA 2 txt/ email on july 18th 2011

NOA 2 received in Mail July 20th dated July 18th 2011

NOA2 in "74" days!

NO RFE

Personal issue in the Philippines

Medical Exam: March 22nd 2012

Medical Cleared on March 23rd 2012

Interview Date:April 16th, 2012......PASSED

Arrival Los Angeles California: July 7th 2012.

Marriage September 7th 2012 at San Bernardino County Hall of Records

Preparing for AOS

"I Wholly disapprove of what you say, But I will defend to the death, Your RIGHT to say it"

" _ Volitaire- "

Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Philippines
Timeline
Posted

I strongly agree with that... You just have to work it out together as couple not just one...

:thumbs:

Sent NOA1 April 30th 2011

received May 2nd 2011

NOA1 Notice Date:May 4th 2011

NOA 2 txt/ email on july 18th 2011

NOA 2 received in Mail July 20th dated July 18th 2011

NOA2 in "74" days!

NO RFE

Personal issue in the Philippines

Medical Exam: March 22nd 2012

Medical Cleared on March 23rd 2012

Interview Date:April 16th, 2012......PASSED

Arrival Los Angeles California: July 7th 2012.

Marriage September 7th 2012 at San Bernardino County Hall of Records

Preparing for AOS

"I Wholly disapprove of what you say, But I will defend to the death, Your RIGHT to say it"

" _ Volitaire- "

Filed: Timeline
Posted (edited)

Based on the number of struggling Fil/Am relationships that air their laundry here, it appears that "love conquers all," is a lie.

So whaddya do? Send her back? Call immigration and report it as fraud? Or just maybe, you need to change yourself to make room for someone else. Changing doesn't mean you give up who you are, but you re-evaluate how you are, how you handle conflict, how you handle your emotions, how you communicate, how you deal with disappointment, because there's going to be a lot of disappointment in your marriage, no matter how perfect you imagined it would be.

So sorry to hear about that. I hope the third time is the charm in your case. I am sure my wife could set up one of her friends for you.(F)

Edited by Crusty Old Perv
 
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