Vawa help abuse happening right now

[Joe Bue 0]

I need advice, my wife has just gone on one of her abuse attacks again.

All I said was that my step daughter had probably got the batteries to put in her Wii game and she yelled that why was I picking on her, I said I wasn't and she said f-you and I said I am sick of your abuse and if it didn't stop I was going to call the police, she said f-you call the police.

She then got my two baby children and put them in the car, I said where are you going and she didn't answer and just drove off.

She is always abusive around holiday times, like last Columbus day, now its Halloween, next it will be Thanksgiving.

I don't know what she is going to do next.

I can't take this anymore I am sick off walking on eggshells and shaking all the time.

When you have moved out of the house where did you go what did you do? I have no idea of what to do.

[tmma 467]

Are you the petitioner, or the beneficiary? Either way, if there is abuse and you are concerned for your safety or the safety of your children, leave with them and call the police.

[Joe Bue 0]

Are you the petitioner, or the beneficiary? Either way, if there is abuse and you are concerned for your safety or the safety of your children, leave with them and call the police.

I'm a foreigner who is married to a US citizen, I am in a mothers role to my young children, it is my wife who works. I have started writing my VAWA case but have not submitted it yet I was planning on sending by the end next week.

Going to the police is a big issue for me because it means the family will be split, I don't want to take my children from their home and because I'm a guy I don't think we would get the same support as if I was a woman. But I can't take this anymore.

I don't know where my wife is and I don't know how she will behave when she does get back, she is getting violent with everyone lately.

[Joe Bue 0]

Her ex husband has just pulled up in the car hes knocking at the door

[james&olya 1,121]

Why do I get the feeling there is a whole lot more to this story we haven't been told?

[JimVaPhuong 4,863]

I'm a foreigner who is married to a US citizen, I am in a mothers role to my young children, it is my wife who works. I have started writing my VAWA case but have not submitted it yet I was planning on sending by the end next week.

Going to the police is a big issue for me because it means the family will be split, I don't want to take my children from their home and because I'm a guy I don't think we would get the same support as if I was a woman. But I can't take this anymore.

I don't know where my wife is and I don't know how she will behave when she does get back, she is getting violent with everyone lately.

Police only get involved when there's physical abuse. They won't do anything if your wife is simply arguing with you.

[rlogan 2,036]

Why do I get the feeling there is a whole lot more to this story we haven't been told?

Last VAWA thread

He says he has reasons for being deliberately vague.

Just wanted you to know that you were not imagining things. Ha! How ironic. He says the girl is a specialist at "gaslighting". It's where you deliberately do things so people will notice, and deny it is happening so you can say they are crazy.

[Joe Bue 0]

Why do I get the feeling there is a whole lot more to this story we haven't been told?

There is a whole lot more, my wife is borderline.

Police only get involved when there's physical abuse. They won't do anything if your wife is simply arguing with you.

I wish we had simple normal wife and husband arguments but because my wife is borderline every argument is going to be dramatic. Anyone who is married to a spouse with borderline will know what I'm talking about. We have had the police around without physical abuse; I noticed after a year that my sons last name was in her maiden name. I calmly and respectfully asked her if we could change my sons name into my last name and she went crazy she stormed out of the house and came back with 2 police cars. The police told me that hospitals do make mistakes and they will have mistakenly put the last name wrong.

Anyhow my wifes ex-husband came around to act a mediator between me and my wife, he was here for about 3 hours and most of the time he argued with my wife about there past relationship. Things got heated towards the end when I told my wife that her work colleague had told me that my wife bullied her at work and she felt sorry for me. My wife said that I needed to leave and I said if I leave I will be back with the police to collect my suitcase and she said oh well you don't need to do that and things calmed down.

[Joe Bue 0]

Last VAWA thread

He says he has reasons for being deliberately vague.

Just wanted you to know that you were not imagining things. Ha! How ironic. He says the girl is a specialist at "gaslighting". It's where you deliberately do things so people will notice, and deny it is happening so you can say they are crazy.

“Gaslighting is the systematic attempt by one person to erode another’s reality. This is done by telling them that what they are experiencing isn’t so – and, the gradual giving up on the part of the other person.” The victim ends up giving far, far more than he/she gets. This process invariably erodes the soul.

This is a good read about gaslighting and there are some interesting posts from readers;

http://lauriekendrick.wordpress.com/2008/07/03/the-sad-art-of-gaslighting/

Edited October 31, 2011 by Joe Bue

[rlogan 2,036]

“Gaslighting is the systematic attempt by one person to erode another’s reality. This is done by telling them that what they are experiencing isn’t so – and, the gradual giving up on the part of the other person.” The victim ends up giving far, far more than he/she gets. This process invariably erodes the soul.

This is a good read about gaslighting and there are some interesting posts from readers;

http://lauriekendrick.wordpress.com/2008/07/03/the-sad-art-of-gaslighting/

Yes, sorry I didn't explain myself well enough. You were being vague before. A poster noticed it and commented. So the gaslight response would be to say we are imagining that you were being vague. You didn't do that, but I had commented they were not imagining things since it was a gaslight thread.

It's been done to me. You have to be extremely cruel to do this to others.

[DeeDee&Sam 68]

There is a whole lot more, my wife is borderline.

I wish we had simple normal wife and husband arguments but because my wife is borderline every argument is going to be dramatic. Anyone who is married to a spouse with borderline will know what I'm talking about. We have had the police around without physical abuse; I noticed after a year that my sons last name was in her maiden name. I calmly and respectfully asked her if we could change my sons name into my last name and she went crazy she stormed out of the house and came back with 2 police cars. The police told me that hospitals do make mistakes and they will have mistakenly put the last name wrong.

Anyhow my wifes ex-husband came around to act a mediator between me and my wife, he was here for about 3 hours and most of the time he argued with my wife about there past relationship. Things got heated towards the end when I told my wife that her work colleague had told me that my wife bullied her at work and she felt sorry for me. My wife said that I needed to leave and I said if I leave I will be back with the police to collect my suitcase and she said oh well you don't need to do that and things calmed down.

borderline can be treated. u seem like you're not even trying to work it out. she's sick and you dont seem to understand that. someone very close to me has borderline and with the right treatment and therapy they never abused/attacked ANYONE

[Joe Bue 0]

borderline can be treated. u seem like you're not even trying to work it out. she's sick and you dont seem to understand that. someone very close to me has borderline and with the right treatment and therapy they never abused/attacked ANYONE

I know it can be treated the best way is by dialectical therapy. I am trying to work it out but my wife is not listening, I've tried to lay down boundaries but she breaks down everyone of them.

I have tried to get her parents to intervene but they don't want to know, its ironic that they are the ones that helped to give her borderline.

[DeeDee&Sam 68]

I know it can be treated the best way is by dialectical therapy. I am trying to work it out but my wife is not listening, I've tried to lay down boundaries but she breaks down everyone of them.

I have tried to get her parents to intervene but they don't want to know, its ironic that they are the ones that helped to give her borderline.

the thing is that you're her husband and you're in legal to do it by force if you have to, without her approval since its a mental problem. you dont have to put her into a mental institution, you can as well do it at home with the right therapist and with the regular visits at the psychiatrist. even if you divorce that wont help her at all. and if you file for VAWA she might be put in a mental institution by the law because borderline is a branch of schizophrenia

[nurse1967 287]

You cannot commit someone regardless of their diagnosis unless they are a threat to themselves or others. This must be a real and present threat and not the threat of them being dangerous.

[nurse1967 287]

the thing is that you're her husband and you're in legal to do it by force if you have to, without her approval since its a mental problem. you dont have to put her into a mental institution, you can as well do it at home with the right therapist and with the regular visits at the psychiatrist. even if you divorce that wont help her at all. and if you file for VAWA she might be put in a mental institution by the law because borderline is a branch of schizophrenia

I don't know where you got your information about mental illness and the law but your information is WRONG. He cannot force her into inpatient OR outpatient treatment without her consent. Period end of story. As for borderline being "treatable", that's doubtful. Borderline is one of the rare psychiatric conditions that not only has a genetic component but an ENVIRONMENTAL component as well. These patients are very difficult to treat and impossible to cure. They are manipulative, deceptive, cunning, often dangerous and many other adjectives that I could put down in writing. Please refrain from giving advice on a subject that you clearly know little about.