Wants to give up and Return to Philippines?

[Impatient Cupcake 10]

I'm a bit concerned about how quickly she is willing to give up? seems like she had made up her mind before even arriving there and giving it a chance. Maybe there is more to it (personal reason) than just about adjusting to her new environment. I don't think the CO will actually send her back (paying airfare per se), that would have to be arrange and taken care by you.

I myself would not buy "I can't adjust" excuse, there is more to it than just that. Anyways good luck and hope you both find happiness!

^ this

also question, did you guys fight about something before this whole "i cant adjust" thing happened?

[SMOKE 1,426]

PLEASE HELP!!! :'-(

i just did a google search 'filipino in columbus,oh'...i got stores, resturants, churches...etc. 2 weeks is not enough time to begin to adjust. ask her to give it 2 months & reconsider. in the mean time. set up a discount calling card account or something so she can call home regularly, search the internet for filipino tv sites (make sure you virus protection is up to date first) & most important..get out there with her meeting local filipinas....think about it brother. her life is 180 from what it was 2 weeks ago. be supportive & help all you can. good luck.

[Bayareaguy 156]

My fiance and I plans that if i won't like it in OH, we will move to a warmer place where there's more at least Asian if not Filipinos. But get married first at least if she really wants to be with you.

Try Daly City

[skiptex 225]

Just being Devil's Advocate.. Fellow members of VJ..

since we are only getting one side of story..

why does everyone always seem to side with the Petitioner.. Maybe, JUST Maybe.. the beneficiary did not get they thought they would.. maybe the Petitioner was not truthful about job, our house, or personal habits..

maybe Petitioner has other flaws: porn, drinking, world of warcraft, etc... that Beneficiary, just thinks its a "Deal Breaker"..

Just because the K1 was issued and used SHOULD NOT MEAN.. Benefinciary MUST AT ALL COST sign on the dotted line.. isn't the 90 days just for that purpose..??

homesick seems like a logical way to say.. thanks but i have changed my mind, this is not going to work and i don't want to get married to you.. buh bye.. ..

Is this not possible? ..

thank you your honor.

[Deputy Purple 1,294]

why does everyone always seem to side with the Petitioner

I don't think anyone saw this as an issue of taking sides.

If she simply doesn't want to marry him because things aren't as she expected then she should say that.

Everyone here is simply responding to the information given...

[SMOKE 1,426]

why does everyone always seem to side with the Petitioner

i'm not taking a 'side'. i gave someone looking for help a few ideas & i'm trying to be supportive.

btw: thanks for letting us know you have porn, drinking & video game addictions.

[skiptex 225]

i'm not taking a 'side'. i gave someone looking for help a few ideas & i'm trying to be supportive.

i see the supportive side.. we must take at Face value information from OP..

btw: thanks for letting us know you have porn, drinking & video game addictions.

HEY! i can QUIT AT ANYTIME!

ps.. i clear my internet Browser EVERYNITE!

[TeapotGirl 66]

Cmptrsdeal

Is it normally to be paranoid that my fiance might freak out and change her mind on coming to me?

Jul 29 2011 11:38 AM

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/user/102794-cmptrsdeal/

looks like the op saw this coming months ago

Edited October 26, 2011 by teapotgurl1983

[skiptex 225]

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/user/102794-cmptrsdeal/

looks like the op saw this coming months ago

wow.. your good!

[damulag 26]

There are more filipinos in Columbus than you think. There are two groups TOPAS and PASCO which have events throughout the year and once you get in a group you will see that your social circles expand. There is also a filipino restaurant, La Herba Buena in the Dublin center that you can visit and the owner can probably hook you up with contact information.

[The Nature Boy 4,224]

My fiance has been here in the US for almost 2 wks and is saying that she read that the Consulate will send her back home to the Philippines, cause she cannot adjust here and is thinking about giving up and contacting them and having them send her back. Is there conditions she has to meet for the Consulate to do that or how exactly does that work?

Is there a website that anyone knows that I can learn more about this process? Everyone has told her 2 wks is NOT long enough, but she seems like she doesn't want to try to adjust anymore. PLEASE HELP!!! :'-(

Why would the consulate have to send her home. If she wants to go back, can't she just go ... Mine will be here in a few weeks. God forbid she wanted out that quickly I would do the honorable thing and send her.

[TeapotGirl 66]

is thinking about giving up and contacting them and having them send her back.

The OP knows if the fiancee wants to back out with the marriage or just the place because of the weather, food, neighborhood etc. If I won't like Cleveland, I told my fiance we'll move to a different place. Meaning, he's coming with me. looks like in this statement, she wants to leave Columbus, alone. Let see what he says.

Edited October 26, 2011 by teapotgurl1983

[The Nature Boy 4,224]

and one more quick thought. You said we have hard times and a lot of fighting .. In two weeks ???? If I had that much turmoil after two weeks and she wanted to go,, I think I would encourage her.

[TeapotGirl 66]

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/321981-is-it-paranoia-advice-pls/

When I first met my now fiance, she always commented on how she had no reason to ever leave the Philippines, that she was content and never truly wanted to leave. Now that it's about less than a month and it'll be time for her to get on the plane, but for some reason, those words she had said before are coming back into my mind. Maybe it's just the fact that the day is finally here, I don't know and if anyone can give me any advice and perhaps make me feel better or what not, that'd be much appreciated. Thank you! (I'm in the US, she's 24 and I'm about a lil over 6 yrs older than her. not sure if that helps get a better grasp of the situation.)

She said she's coming but she acts like she'll never go back that much. (Never asked her if she feels obligated, perhaps I should ask her when I talk to her tonight??) I told her I'll let her come back as much as I can. She says that all sounds nice and she's not questioning my promise, but things don't always work out the way you want. So yeah, she's going on a vacation tomorrow island hopping and as soon as she comes back, she's going to do her medical exam and then she's got the interview August 12th. She said she just wants to do what she can with her friends and family while she still has time. Do you at all feel anything for where she's coming or am I the one being paranoid? I appreciate anything u say and will answer as well, just to help me get a better understanding. Thnx!

I hate to say it but sometimes it seems like she's not happy about coming here and I can't let her come here if that's how she feels, but anytime I bring it up, it's the same excuse, "she says I should think about what she's giving up to move to the US and that should answer my question"

0

I will did come out and ask her last night if she feels obligated and she said no and we really talked and it seemed really positive. She said that she doesn't feel obligated, its just the fact of leaving everything and everyone behind she's grown to know as normal and she said she doesn't know anyone here except for my family and me. I told her as soon as she gets here, we're gonna try to get everyone I know for a get together before we get married and just hang out so she feels more comfortable around them and knows them and makes friends hopefully. Then I started seeing the tears start flowing and I almost wanted to breakdown too. I never wanted to bring her to tears or tear her away from her family. I never actually thought it through on what she'd actually have to go through. I love her with all of my heart. I just hope her homesickness doesn't keep her from enjoying life with me here in the states.... any thoughts now on the situation?

She's mad I do not pay for the taxi to and from the medical exam and probably the same with the interview.

I sent her 350 bucks for the visa fee, she had to pay 11 dollars extra and was extremely pissed off about it. I said I'd pay for everything except for the plan ticket, I didn't expect she couldn't pay for something small like transportation to and from these places.

and also there's a chance she might not come til after Christmas, originally we had planned she'd be here at end of August beginning of Sept and it turns out my mom has to have surgery in Sept on her stomach, something to do with her bladder and they've been having her do all these tests to make sure her heart will survive the surgery. I told my fiance that it'd mean so much if she could be here for me for support during that time. But here's where the delay comes in, her family wants her there in the Philippines for Christmas, I understand holidays with the fam are extremely important, but I don't really know, any opinions? Thank you!

For the most part, I am happy with this relationship, I just wish things could go back to where she was happy with me and not how she is now :-(

[sam357 4]

I think you are asking for trouble to have a support group or anyone else talk her into staying. If she doesn't like it and wants to leave then you should let her go. It is better to end it now than to god forbid you get a kid with her and then she is still miserable and wants to leave later.