emergency help!!!

[I&her 1]

well my story is very sad,after 4 years since we started talking,about 3 years of marriage and our 2 years old son,my wife decided to leave me . she canceled the file and asked me for divorce, but I want my son very much she doesnt want to send him to me.

I am asking about:

If I dont want to divorce,is she able to get the divorce?

I want help about what to do to have my son with me or to be with my son?

thanks very much for any suggestion or advise.

[bigdog 377]

She can get a divorce, see an attorney.

[I&her 1]

well my story is very sad,after 4 years since we started talking,about 3 years of marriage and our 2 years old son,my wife decided to leave me . she canceled the file and asked me for divorce, but I want my son very much she doesnt want to send him to me.

I am asking about:

If I dont want to divorce,is she able to get the divorce?

I want help about what to do to have my son with me or to be with my son?

thanks very much for any suggestion or advise

[together4evr 360]

  On 10/26/2011 at 1:37 PM, I&her said:

well my story is very sad,after 4 years since we started talking,about 3 years of marriage and our 2 years old son,my wife decided to leave me . she canceled the file and asked me for divorce, but I want my son very much she doesnt want to send him to me.

I am asking about:

If I dont want to divorce,is she able to get the divorce?

I want help about what to do to have my son with me or to be with my son?

thanks very much for any suggestion or advise.

I am so sorry about your pain for your child and the divorce.

She can get a divorce.

She can get custody of your child.

Get a USA lawyer to help you.

Your chances of getting your child are better if she cheated or abused you.

If you cheated or abused her your chances are probably not good.

You live in another country so it will be very difficult for you to get your child.

I am sorry.

[NY_BX 397]

  On 10/26/2011 at 1:37 PM, I&her said:

well my story is very sad,after 4 years since we started talking,about 3 years of marriage and our 2 years old son,my wife decided to leave me . she canceled the file and asked me for divorce, but I want my son very much she doesnt want to send him to me.

I am asking about:

If I dont want to divorce,is she able to get the divorce?

I want help about what to do to have my son with me or to be with my son?

thanks very much for any suggestion or advise.

Are you the USC or is she? I assume she is since you stated "she canceled the file."

If she is the USC, she can divorce you. Depending on the state she lives in, a judge can grant the divorce if you do not contest it or even respond. No one should be forced to stay married in this country; that's like slavery IMO.

If you give her a hard time, it will not help your case for custody. That said, if you want to fight for your rights as a father, you should. If you live outside the country, it'll be very hard for you to get custody unless there's proof she's a threat to your child. It sounds to me like, from now until you get an attorney, you'll need to amicably end the relationship with your wife and continue your relatinoship with your child. The ball is in her court.

[RICARDO4EVA2 195]

  On 10/26/2011 at 1:37 PM, I&her said:

  Quote

well my story is very sad,after 4 years since we started talking,about 3 years of marriage and our 2 years old son,my wife decided to leave me . she canceled the file and asked me for divorce, but I want my son very much she doesnt want to send him to me.

She does not want to send him.. where are you heading to..?

  Quote

If I dont want to divorce,is she able to get the divorce?

Why would you want to stop someone who might not want to be with you..? That wont help the relationship.

  Quote

I want help about what to do to have my son with me or to be with my son?

Seek legal Advice on custody battles.... what is your legal status..?

Who is the petitioner here.. ?

[msheesha 548]

So, you're in Morocco & she's in the US?

She was in the process of filing for you to come to the US when she decided she wants a divorce?

Is this correct?

[Angel Eyes Yuseef 5]

Ok I will try to explain this the best I can. I assume she is living in the states right now with your son. Their is 3 ways to do this, only 2 are kinda easy. The first way is she may suggest that you go to the american consulant and sign a paper on divorce. And all that says is yes you want a divorce and her lawyer collects that paper and it happens (but you may not get any rights to your son). The second way is she comes to morocco and hires a lawyer there and you go through the process there, which gives you a advantage. But I assume she will not do that if she lives and works in the states as that would be time comusing. The third option is a international divorce and that will be expensive and I am not sure she realizes that. And can take a long time. You have the right to your son, so talk to a lawyer there that has knowledge on international laws. That is the best advise i can give you on that. And if anyone else knows something i don't feel free to add to it.i had a friend that went through a international divorce so that is why I know some of the steps. Hope this helps.

[momof1 205]

Do you really expect a woman to just send the child she carried for 9 months and delivered to you? You have a right to see your child and build a relationship with them, but that doesn't mean she has to hand him over.

Why does she want a divorce after so long and what happened with the petition she filed before this change of heart?

[Penguin_ie 5,997]

***** duplicate topics merged. Please do not start more than one topic on an issue. *****

[Silverberry1331 25]

  On 10/26/2011 at 8:04 PM, momof1 said:

Do you really expect a woman to just send the child she carried for 9 months and delivered to you? You have a right to see your child and build a relationship with them, but that doesn't mean she has to hand him over.

Why does she want a divorce after so long and what happened with the petition she filed before this change of heart?

I understand that this idea of the father wanting sole custody and discussing it in this matter is jarring but, there is a different social context here. In some countries, men are awarded custody of children, unlike here in the USA where mother usually gets custody. I don't find it unusual given different divorce/custodial circumstances and the fact that the communication is in his second or third language.

For the original poster: Yes, you should contact a lawyer in the USA. In the USA, mothers get primary custodial rights (meaning that the child gets to live with her) unless you can prove she is not a good mother which is hard to do. However, you can ask for joint custody or visitation rights. This is your right as a father. Depending on where she lives in the USA, she may have access to No-Fault divorce which means you do not have to consent to the divorce...she will get it regardless. In other states, she has to prove a reason for divorce. Either way, the divorce will happen eventually. I realize that this is upsetting for both of you but, try to get an attorney to help you through the process and keep in mind what is best for the child. Is it possible for you to communicate with your wife regarding a compromise for custody or how to raise the child? I know this might be the last thing you want to do right now, but regardless of whether you divorce or not, this woman will always be in your life as the mother of your child--sometimes it makes it easier (and less expensive) to work the details out between yourselves. And as a child of divorce myself, it made it easier knowing that my parents tried to compromise alittle on the issues about me and my sister despite their divorce.

So sorry for this news.

[momof1 205]

  On 10/27/2011 at 1:43 AM, Silverberry1331 said:

I understand that this idea of the father wanting sole custody and discussing it in this matter is jarring but, there is a different social context here. In some countries, men are awarded custody of children, unlike here in the USA where mother usually gets custody. I don't find it unusual given different divorce/custodial circumstances and the fact that the communication is in his second or third language.

The family code in Morocco is based on islamic law and the same goes for Algeria and most other muslim countries. The mother is granted custody of children after divorce and then when they reach the age of reason they are allowed to choose which parent they want to live with. Unless the mother is unfit, and the mother simply not being muslim(which we're not even sure is the case) doesn't make her unfit, then she gets the child...islamically and culturally. Even if we want to look deeper into the islamic laws then if a mom is unfit her muslim family would get custody of the child after her, followed by his family, and lastly him.

I'm not judging him through some American lens. I'm muslim and married to a man from the same culture, religion, and language as the OP for nearly a decade. I'm not saying he shouldn't see his child, but I think a child that small belongs with their mother as long as she is capable.

[Angel Eyes Yuseef 5]

I totaly agree. But how does the child get to know his father till he becomes of age? And if the divorce is done through america, that does not mean when the child becomes of age the the courts there will honor this. He will have to have a lot of money with a good lawyer to even get visitation rights to his child, if the divorce occurs in the states. Not like he can go to the states and make a parenting plan. And I think at this point the divorce is not the issue as much as he wants to make sure he has a relationship of some kind with his child and not lose him forever.

  On 10/27/2011 at 5:59 AM, momof1 said:

The family code in Morocco is based on islamic law and the same goes for Algeria and most other muslim countries. The mother is granted custody of children after divorce and then when they reach the age of reason they are allowed to choose which parent they want to live with. Unless the mother is unfit, and the mother simply not being muslim(which we're not even sure is the case) doesn't make her unfit, then she gets the child...islamically and culturally. Even if we want to look deeper into the islamic laws then if a mom is unfit her muslim family would get custody of the child after her, followed by his family, and lastly him.

I'm not judging him through some American lens. I'm muslim and married to a man from the same culture, religion, and language as the OP for nearly a decade. I'm not saying he shouldn't see his child, but I think a child that small belongs with their mother as long as she is capable.

[momof1 205]

How is someone to trust sending their child to a country that isn't a party to the hague convention to a man who has already said the mom won't give the child to him. I wouldn't and this isn't to say anything bad about the OP. The readon behind the divorce is important as well as the parents finding an equitable solution and sticking to it.

[Silverberry1331 25]

  On 10/27/2011 at 5:59 AM, momof1 said:

The family code in Morocco is based on islamic law and the same goes for Algeria and most other muslim countries. The mother is granted custody of children after divorce and then when they reach the age of reason they are allowed to choose which parent they want to live with. Unless the mother is unfit, and the mother simply not being muslim(which we're not even sure is the case) doesn't make her unfit, then she gets the child...islamically and culturally. Even if we want to look deeper into the islamic laws then if a mom is unfit her muslim family would get custody of the child after her, followed by his family, and lastly him.

I'm not judging him through some American lens. I'm muslim and married to a man from the same culture, religion, and language as the OP for nearly a decade. I'm not saying he shouldn't see his child, but I think a child that small belongs with their mother as long as she is capable.

Dear Mo,

I stand corrected. I read your email and had taken it as being judgmental so, I jumped to conclusions about the statement. It didn't occur to me that I might either be misinterpeting it or that you were more informed. My apologies. I agree that a child that small should be with the mother. Thanks for chiming back in and setting me straight

Edited October 28, 2011 by Silverberry1331