So confused...

[aphrodite 2]

My husband has been unemployed for almost a year now. He quit his job last December of 2010 because he "hated his boss" and he said that he "couldn't take it anymore". He said he was gonna start his own business and find another job if it doesn't work out. Well, it's been almost a year. I was very much against his plans because I realized how hard it is to find a job in this economy. We have lots of bills to pay specifically almost $700 a month of child support amongst other things. On top of that, I was just starting nursing school. I begged him to wait 9 months until I finish school and we should be fine. I told him that he can quit his job by then. But he did anyway. He just texted me one night in December and told me that he already put his 2 weeks notice. I was so disappointed. Sure enough, three months later, I had to quit school to get a second job so we could stay afloat. We couldn't afford to pay child support anymore so his driver's license has been suspended since May this year. I am working two full-time jobs as a CNA. Right now, he's still looking for a new job. He tried to start a new business but it didn't work out and I just can't help getting upset about all of it. I offered to get him a job where I'm working but he said he "does not like wiping poop". He said he has done that before and he didn't like it. I honestly just don't know what to do anymore. Our bills are piling up. I'm worried about the car getting towed.

Despite all of this, I do love my husband. I wouldn't be married to him for almost 7 years if I don't love him. I am just really frustrated and I just don't know what to do anymore. What would you do if you were in my shoes?

[adiiann 163]

I am somehow in your shoes, but quite different. My husband have to move with me in other state when I got a job and he went back to school. But due to his school hours, I didn't ask him to find a job since it would be better if he get good grades. Though, I must say that we waited till I got a good job before he resigned and go back to school.

I can't really say much, but my husband is not exactly fond of his job and so wanted to resign but he waited and sacrifice until I could find a better job enough to support ourselves while he is in school to help his career and get situated.

I wonder if it could help to have him do the budget and do the bills. Then he will see the cash flow of your household, will give him a better hint that you badly need help to cover up all your finances. And he should take the available jobs with at least good salary even though he will hate it until everything is stable and have better options.

[aphrodite 2]

Though, I must say that we waited till I got a good job before he resigned and go back to school.

That was actually our original plan. He was supposed to wait and just stick it out until I am finished with school. But for some reason, he bailed out...just like that. I was even working a full-time job already while going to school because I didn't want to put the burden of bills on him solely. So now, I am really disappointed and frustrated. I'm sorry. I just really need to let my heart out.

[aphrodite 2]

I accidentally posted this same topic on another sub-forum (off-topic)...I hope that's ok. I guess I'll let the MODS handle it.

[The Nature Boy 4,224]

My husband has been unemployed for almost a year now. He quit his job last December of 2010 because he "hated his boss" and he said that he "couldn't take it anymore". He said he was gonna start his own business and find another job if it doesn't work out. Well, it's been almost a year. I was very much against his plans because I realized how hard it is to find a job in this economy. We have lots of bills to pay specifically almost $700 a month of child support amongst other things. On top of that, I was just starting nursing school. I begged him to wait 9 months until I finish school and we should be fine. I told him that he can quit his job by then. But he did anyway. He just texted me one night in December and told me that he already put his 2 weeks notice. I was so disappointed. Sure enough, three months later, I had to quit school to get a second job so we could stay afloat. We couldn't afford to pay child support anymore so his driver's license has been suspended since May this year. I am working two full-time jobs as a CNA. Right now, he's still looking for a new job. He tried to start a new business but it didn't work out and I just can't help getting upset about all of it. I offered to get him a job where I'm working but he said he "does not like wiping poop". He said he has done that before and he didn't like it. I honestly just don't know what to do anymore. Our bills are piling up. I'm worried about the car getting towed.

Despite all of this, I do love my husband. I wouldn't be married to him for almost 7 years if I don't love him. I am just really frustrated and I just don't know what to do anymore. What would you do if you were in my shoes?

I don't know. However in my opnion anyone who quits thier job before they have another lined up has issues. Everyone dislikes thier boss at some point or has periods in which they don't like what they are doing. If it's that bad you start hunting another job. It's much easier to find a job if you have one.

I sympathize with you, but this is one of my pet peeves. I know a couple of people locally that did that , then ask people to pray for them or ask people to take up collections for them. I truly have no sympathy for them. P.S. Do you know he quit, maybe he was fired for something and does not want to tell you.

[TeapotGirl 66]

From personal experience, I am usually energetic and motivated on the job but when I get pissed off, I just don't care about anything. Kill me if you want but I am not coming back. I dunno how long it takes for him but give him time. But when I feel the urgency like a money running out and has already figured out what I want to do, I'll be back on m old self.

[BJZags 17]

I offered to get him a job where I'm working but he said he "does not like wiping poop". He said he has done that before and he didn't like it.

Its this part that disturbs me the most. While it is silly to quit a job before you have a new one lined-up, I can sort of understand if something happened at work and he just snapped and walked-out without thinking the consequences through. But to turn down a job in this economy? That is not right. Your husband needs to man-up and wipe poop to support his family if that's what is needed.

[Bayareaguy 156]

A man should take care of business.

[skiptex 225]

A man should take care of business.

yep

[DouglasFiel 53]

My daughter new graduate Psych last December,,, passed on a couple of low level jobs because,,, it was below her.

As I always say, "Take the job your offered, look for the job you want". She finally took my advise and started

a job she really did not think would go anywhere,,, and in a few months they are promoting her to a divisional

position with the salary that goes along with it.

People are more willing to give an employed person a chance before an unemployed person. I would certainly give

a employed butt-wiper a chance at a technical position (assuming they are qualified) working for me,,, Before,

I would someone sitting on their ####### waiting for a job that is "not below them"...

Personally, I would explore how hard they really tried to find "ANY" job.

Hell me and my wife rented out our house and moved to the South side of Austin for her to take a ####### position as

a nurse in a nursing home,,, figuring a better job would come along. And sure enough she got a position as a

Dialysis Nurse (they are training her and she has always wanted to practice in this area) with a major hospital.

On top of that they paid her as a trained charge nurse,,, even though she has only a few months of US experience.

I assume that she would not have gotten that job if she was not working.. The interviewer asked her why she took

the long term care position. I fed her the answer before the interview... "Well, I got bills and they need to be paid".

and second, the position she was hired for,,, is a Dialysis Charge Nurse position. I suspect they would also, not

have hired her,,, if the position she held at the Nursing Home was not a Charge Nurse position.

These are two personal examples and my current position is another,,,, of "Get working" to pay your bills,,, the right

opportunity will come along.

In this environment it may take awhile... But, attitude and hard work will get you the position you want.

Good Luck to all of those employment challenged.

Regards,

Edited October 26, 2011 by DouglasFiel