Need advice...off topic-Chapel of Rest

[Glyn and Kathy 288]

Hi everyone. Found myself back in the UK much sooner than expected.Glyn has been back here for over a month now, and I was getting my paperwork sorted to come back here soon. Unforutnately, Glyn's dad passed just about 2 weeks ago and I had to fly in for two weeks. We are going to the chapel of rest tomorrow and I dont know what to expect. Is it like a wake in the States?? Glyn is absolutely no help at all and I feel like a right idiot asking the family. Any information you can give me will be great. Thanks!!!

[qwerty1974 11]

Often it depends on the religion of the family. My grandfather died five years ago and we went to visit him in the chapel of rest (Irish Catholic). We had no reception of any kind after, literally it was twenty minutes of just going in to see the open coffin and file past him, close members opted to kiss the forehead of the deceased...I did, but it IS optional, just a short bow of respect might be fine if you're not comfortable with physical closeness to the departed. It's really just usually a chance to see the deceased family member before the coffin is sealed for service, sort of a rite of saying final goodbyes before the funeral. Whether they gather together afterward for drinks to celebrate his life is really down from family to family and knowing their religious denomination will help. My experience of it was this: turn up, file in silently, pay respects, leave to go home. Uusually at this stage everyone is freshly grieving so the celebration of life would usually here come following the funeral, not the chapel of rest. Every family differs though. Sorry to hear about your familys loss and I hope this sets your mind at rest a little.

*Oh, and being devoutly Catholic, his brothers stood coffin side reciting prayers, which was a nice experience.

Edited October 24, 2011 by MYRIAD

[Glyn and Kathy 288]

Thanks, hubby has only ever been to one funeral service and has never been to the chapel of rest before so he couldn't tell me. It sounds similar to going to the funeral home for calling hours in the states. We're going all together as a family. Do you know if its normal to say a prayer yourself while you say goodbye...quietly? The family is CofE but not practicing and I am a bit more religious (raised Catholic). At most wakes in the States that I have been to there is a kneeler placed next to the casket for mourners to kneel and say a prayer.

[qwerty1974 11]

I didn't see or use a kneeler and if you would like to say a prayer then I would say do so, its all about whatever you're comfortable but there won't be an expectation. My cousins for example just did the sign of the cross and said Amen as they filed past.

[Glyn and Kathy 288]

Thanks for your help. I've been stressing about this all weekend.

Thanks again!

[qwerty1974 11]

No problem, I hope all goes well.