New to everything

[vngator 0]

Hi everyone. I met my fiance through a mutual friend online in late May. Since then we have been chatting everyday for hours online. I just got back from a 2 week trip to HCMC to finally meet her and we decided we want to get married and be together. How important is it to have the engagement ceremony? I don't think I will be able to get back to VN with enough money to do it until April next year and we don't want to wait that long before applying for the Visa. Do you think we should wait or do you guys think we have a chance if we apply now? I already made a trip with her to her hometown and have pics with her and her family.

Thanks for any help you can give me.

[at long last 58]

Hi everyone. I met my fiance through a mutual friend online in late May. Since then we have been chatting everyday for hours online. I just got back from a 2 week trip to HCMC to finally meet her and we decided we want to get married and be together. How important is it to have the engagement ceremony? I don't think I will be able to get back to VN with enough money to do it until April next year and we don't want to wait that long before applying for the Visa. Do you think we should wait or do you guys think we have a chance if we apply now? I already made a trip with her to her hometown and have pics with her and her family.

Thanks for any help you can give me.

It' s very much about being able to prove your relationship. Photocopy all receipts, plane tickets, boarding passes, restaurant receipts while you visited. Hotel receipts. And yes the photos with the two of you with family and friends is an important part. Give a read through the guidelines on VJ and if you feel you have all that you need and you are sure then proceed forward. BUT it is important to know what you will be needing. This can take quite some time and does have costs involved. Just be sure..Good luck... Love and happiness is a true gift to have...

Terri

[skiptex 225]

use the SEARCH FEATURE at the Top Right Corner of page..

i put in "engagement ceremony"

several threads came up.. start reading

http://www.visajourney.com/search/index.php?cx=007424365766759747816%3Auy9flr-th5y&cof=FORID%3A10&q=+engagement+ceremony&sa=Search&siteurl=www.visajourney.com%2Fforums%2Ftopic%2F335554-new-to-everything%2Fpage__pid__4968333%23entry4968333

[joenlemy 2]

VN consulate is tough. imo. The dam hoi is a important part of the engagement process. Better to wait and have the engagement ceremony. no need to rush it....

Good Luck

[jac_chappin 24]

OP - As joenlemy mentione, HCMC is one of the toughest Consulates to get a visa from. You need in my opinion at lease three trips and the dam hoi, lots of chat logs, pics, receipts.

If you can, I advice you be there for interview also. Essentially you should take your time until you have a solid case. Front loading your application with lots of proof of bonafide relationship is always the best thing to do in HCMC.

Best wishes

[confusedasheck 21]

So you've only had one visit and no engagement ceremony? That increases your odds of being denied. Most fiancee visas at HCMC are denied due to the CO being the relationship is fraudulent. Your case looks a bit weak honestly. Probably best to go back for the engagement ceremony and then file.

[svu 1]

In our case, we skipped the dam hoi and proceeded to just having a wedding ceremony and reception. When my wife had her interview, the CO never brought up that issue. However, our relationship prior to getting married was pretty solid.

If you can have a dam hoi, the better. Otherwise, better make sure you have strong evidence of a genuine relationship.

[vngator 0]

Thanks for all the advice so far, it sounds like I might need to wait a little bit and have the dam hoi. That had been my original plan but I think we both got a little over excited after my visit. I can't understand why they treat countries so differently.

[JimVaPhuong 4,863]

Thanks for all the advice so far, it sounds like I might need to wait a little bit and have the dam hoi. That had been my original plan but I think we both got a little over excited after my visit. I can't understand why they treat countries so differently.

They treat countries differently because the rate of visa fraud is different in every country. It usually varies in inverse proportion to the average standard of living. The visa fraud rate in Vietnam happens to be very high.

The Dam Hoi is an experience you will never forget. Don't go cheap or you'll regret it. You can throw a big party and have a great time for a few thousand bucks. Make sure you hire professional photographers to take pics and videos.

[luckytxn 2,264]

Thanks for all the advice so far, it sounds like I might need to wait a little bit and have the dam hoi. That had been my original plan but I think we both got a little over excited after my visit. I can't understand why they treat countries so differently.

The main reason they treat countries so differently is because each country is different. There are customs in each that are usually followed. When normal customs are not followed then this is a flag that in the eyes of the consulate may need to be looked at. In Vietnam it has been a custom to have the Dam Hoi. Now it is a red flag not to have the Dam Hoi but if that is the only red flag then one can get around it by having a very strong relationship. The strong relationship needs to be shown by various ways. If the missing Dam Hoi is accompanied by a weak relationship then you are looking at a rejection.

To see the difference between a weak and a strong relationship then take a lot of time and peruse this forum here. It is a lot of posts here and is tedious but I promise it will be worthwhile. You are lucky in that you are just starting and able to from here on out start doing what needs to be done to successfully get a visa from this consulate. If you have questions and have not found an answer by perusing this forum then please feel free to ask. We have the best here and pretty much has seen and heard most everything.

Start off by perusing the guides for each visa that are found on the site.

[luckytxn 2,264]

They treat countries differently because the rate of visa fraud is different in every country. It usually varies in inverse proportion to the average standard of living. The visa fraud rate in Vietnam happens to be very high.

The Dam Hoi is an experience you will never forget. Don't go cheap or you'll regret it. You can throw a big party and have a great time for a few thousand bucks. Make sure you hire professional photographers to take pics and videos.

What he said.

[brian_n_phuong 193]

You could do some type of modified Dam Hoi as I did without all the bells and whistles, but as others have said a few more visits would help strengthen your case.

I admit, I am still a bit nervous with my application as I didnt have the "formal" Dam Hoi. Her family understands that I am not close to my own family and it would be next to impossible to convince them to travel, let alone participate. What we did was a formal "announcement" dinner with her family(lots of pics with with EVERYONE), and written/notarized statements from both of her parents that I discussed and recieved permission for the engagement. Add in lots of dated photos, receipts, visits, engagement ring receipt, etc..... I even hired a professional photographer to take the engagement "bridal" photos which we will include as further evidence

Im still a rookie in this process and I'll keep you posted how it goes....What I have learned from others on here is that its not one single missing link that will cause failure, but an overall weak case. My point: I do think the Dam Hoi is important for approval. However If your like me and a full Dam Hoi is impossible, then it's critical to fill in as many of those 'next best thing' evidence squares as possible.

[Anh map 2,098]

You could do some type of modified Dam Hoi as I did without all the bells and whistles, but as others have said a few more visits would help strengthen your case.

I admit, I am still a bit nervous with my application as I didnt have the "formal" Dam Hoi. Her family understands that I am not close to my own family and it would be next to impossible to convince them to travel, let alone participate. What we did was a formal "announcement" dinner with her family(lots of pics with with EVERYONE), and written/notarized statements from both of her parents that I discussed and recieved permission for the engagement. Add in lots of dated photos, receipts, visits, engagement ring receipt, etc..... I even hired a professional photographer to take the engagement "bridal" photos which we will include as further evidence

Im still a rookie in this process and I'll keep you posted how it goes....What I have learned from others on here is that its not one single missing link that will cause failure, but an overall weak case. My point: I do think the Dam Hoi is important for approval. However If your like me and a full Dam Hoi is impossible, then it's critical to fill in as many of those 'next best thing' evidence squares as possible.

The Dam Hoi is important. Not having family of the USC there is not a deal breaker. Though for Viet Kieu it is the norm. I had family friends (of my in-laws) stand in for my side of the ceremony and there were no questions / issues.

Make at least one more trip. This will be beneficial for both the immigration process and you two as a couple.

Do your reading here in the Vietnam regional forum. HCMC can be a meat grinder.

[vngator 0]

I doubt any of my family would be able to come. It is a very long trip for my parents who are getting old and my brother has two very young children. It seems very important to my fiance but I don't think it will be possible. If I thought my family could come I would be more excited about it but as it stands I will be the only white guy in a sea of Vietnamese and I won't have anyone to perform my family's parts of the tradition. I'm sure it will still be fun though. I just don't want to have to wait another 6 months to begin the Visa process. I am guessing applying to soon and failing would make it even longer in the end though.

Edited October 24, 2011 by vngator

[brian_n_phuong 193]

Anh...

I'm not Viet Kieu, so hoping the CO will understand our 'modified' Dam Hoi as bridging both disperate cultures as much as possible. I do respect your decision using in-laws, but in our case her family just didnt feel it was necessary. Not to say the other customs were not followed. Asking permission was a formal and BIG deal! I was grilled for 90 minutes by parents, grandparents, and the lady across the street. I have survived some pretty brutal corporate interviews that were easier. Just saying that although it wasn't a formal Dam Hoi, we have strong photos and/or statements of evidence for the rest of the cultural niceties.

Sorry, didnt meant to hijack the OP's question.