For All VJ People

[sarah and hicham 3]

Charles why are you defending him so much? I bet it would be different if Nessa was Arab.

[meauxna 15]

what do u think if someone send u same judging msg, while u never knew him or even talk to him,

If you are an adult, you have the following choices:

-Ignore it. Why do you care about the opinion of someone you have never heard of or from before?

-Forward it to the Administrator of the board with a note as to what you would like him/her to do.

-Reply and keep the conversation private with you and the person who has a problem with you.

If you are that upset about the response you get from people, sit back and spend your time reading, not posting.

[jordanianprincess 0]

what do u think if someone send u same judging msg, while u never knew him or even talk to him,

If you are an adult, you have the following choices:

-Ignore it. Why do you care about the opinion of someone you have never heard of or from before?

-Forward it to the Administrator of the board with a note as to what you would like him/her to do.

-Reply and keep the conversation private with you and the person who has a problem with you.

If you are that upset about the response you get from people, sit back and spend your time reading, not posting.

[Ban Hammer 13,283]

How am I or anyone else for that matter supposed to know that you sent him a PM about it? I think you are the one beating it to a dead horse. I am simply responding to your remarks to me.

it was mentioned in your post on the first page, then along comes sarah with a post saying the same thing. and that's all the 2nd page has been about. he's older and wiser now. so moving along......

[sarah and hicham 3]

what do u think if someone send u same judging msg, while u never knew him or even talk to him,

If you are an adult, you have the following choices:

-Ignore it. Why do you care about the opinion of someone you have never heard of or from before?

-Forward it to the Administrator of the board with a note as to what you would like him/her to do.

-Reply and keep the conversation private with you and the person who has a problem with you.

If you are that upset about the response you get from people, sit back and spend your time reading, not posting.

There is still some speculation as to whether or not he is actually an adult.

[meauxna 15]

Which comment is more helpful to an OP?

Q-I have not met the requirement to see my SO in the 2 years prior to filing. I filed a waiver request, and it got denied; so I am spending a fortune on a lawyer to appeal the denial.

A1-Keep trying. You will find a way to get the waiver approved. The system/process/life is so harsh, I can't believe that you/me/us have to go through to do this! I know you are sad and everyone here on this forum is so mean/harsh/uncaring. It's not fair/right that I/you/we have to go through this! It will all be OK in the end.

A2-There is very little chance of a waiver being approved, with or without the services of a lawyer. It may be wiser to spend the money on a plane ticket and solve the whole problem.

Q-I think I may fail my medical because I used ( insert whatever here).

A1-They are so cruel/harsh/unfair to put you/me/us through all this:(:( They are so mean/cruel/uncaring here on this forum!

A2-If you have evidence in your blood; they will probably find out. We will not, nor do not advise or advocate any illegal activity on this forum.

Just a couple of examples.

Which is the more honest or helpful? NONE of the responses were mean; BTW. Yes, one choice was more honest and level headed; surely as adults we want honesty, right? Anything else is just not helpful. I actually do not see any of the " ridiculing" people are talking about going on here. I think sometimes that when people are faced with comments that are not full of cotton balls-they get over sensitive.....Or could it be that people want sympathy poured on them for the situation they got themselves in/find themselves in? If that's the case. then an internet forum is prob not the best place to look for that kind of coddling.

I absolutely agree with this. I've been called harsh in the past when all I did was point out a fallicy or suggest a true solution. I think some of the "support" people say they are giving can be the absolutely most damaging responses. In the best case, they don't offer any solutions. In the worst case they give the impression that the current course, even if it is wrong, is justified and will produce a glorious result.

Sometimes the "support" is damaging. So, for those who make the comments about how unfeeling, harsh, or rude a comment may be--perhaps you should first evaluate the value of what has been presented.

Yup. Where I come from it's called 'blowing smoke up someone's azz'.

This is an immigration HELP board. Presumably, readers here want to succeed at their case.

[sarah and hicham 3]

How am I or anyone else for that matter supposed to know that you sent him a PM about it? I think you are the one beating it to a dead horse. I am simply responding to your remarks to me.

it was mentioned in your post on the first page, then along comes sarah with a post saying the same thing. and that's all the 2nd page has been about. he's older and wiser now. so moving along......

Oh my God! Two people pointing out the same thing! That has NEVER happened before around here!

[Ban Hammer 13,283]

Charles why are you defending him so much? I bet it would be different if Nessa was Arab.

mean guys do have to stick together

she's not, so it's a moot point. otherwise we could explore other hypothetical situations, like you being a guy from pakistan.

How am I or anyone else for that matter supposed to know that you sent him a PM about it? I think you are the one beating it to a dead horse. I am simply responding to your remarks to me.

it was mentioned in your post on the first page, then along comes sarah with a post saying the same thing. and that's all the 2nd page has been about. he's older and wiser now. so moving along......

Oh my God! Two people pointing out the same thing! That has NEVER happened before around here!

also referred to as "me too" when there is a 7 minute difference between the two posts

[jordanianprincess 0]

Charles why are you defending him so much? I bet it would be different if Nessa was Arab.

mean guys do have to stick together

she's not, so it's a moot point. otherwise we could explore other hypothetical situations, like you being a guy from pakistan.

Or if someone made a rather insultulting post about Brazilian women

[sarah and hicham 3]

Charles why are you defending him so much? I bet it would be different if Nessa was Arab.

mean guys do have to stick together

she's not, so it's a moot point. otherwise we could explore other hypothetical situations, like you being a guy from pakistan.

'

biting my tongue biting my tongue biting my tongue.

[jordanianprincess 0]

Charles why are you defending him so much? I bet it would be different if Nessa was Arab.

mean guys do have to stick together

she's not, so it's a moot point. otherwise we could explore other hypothetical situations, like you being a guy from pakistan.

How am I or anyone else for that matter supposed to know that you sent him a PM about it? I think you are the one beating it to a dead horse. I am simply responding to your remarks to me.

it was mentioned in your post on the first page, then along comes sarah with a post saying the same thing. and that's all the 2nd page has been about. he's older and wiser now. so moving along......

Oh my God! Two people pointing out the same thing! That has NEVER happened before around here!

also referred to as "me too" when there is a 7 minute difference between the two posts

Sarah types slow

[tmma 467]

i think i mentioned that i didnt know posting PM was problem, and now i know, and all people looking about posting what people send me private cuz i he didnt want on board, okey what do u think if someone send u same judging msg, while u never knew him or even talk to him, dont u think u will get upsetfrom it, everyone judging me cuz i write PM post, why dont u just read it and see how its offending, while i never know him, and he just being judging as some do, and for u SARAh and hecham, i never mentioned u, u always give help, postive help, and am jsut againest negtive help, and i think the admin, just write, and said he recive the same subject alot and he want to find out what is going on, i think its not just my opnion! thanks alot and much respect for u all

OK- Micheal, you can be walking down the street, at work, in your car, in a store, anywhere and people are going to judge you. It happens to everyone all the time! We ALL get looked at and our words and actions evaluated and " judged" in real life.

On the internet, you are appraised by one method only and that's by what you say ( write), and how you present yourself. When you present your ideas and point of view you can bet the farm someone will disagree. It doesn't mean they are judging you! That's all it is-another POV .

Yeh, you got a ratty PM about the picture. It happens....I don't think the writer of the PM was " judging you" , I think he/she was just being a smartazz. Thicken your skin!

Oh and for the cotton ballers-"It will all be OK. I can't believe how unsupportive this place is! You are right. Every one here is a j$%k! I am leaving this forum in protest of how you have been judged!

Relax a little!

Edited September 22, 2006 by tmma

[morocco4ever 63]

There is a lot of bickering going on in this board, and from my prospective it is derived, not from people who want to critize, but rather differing personality types. For instance, those that are type "A" personalities. These people are quick and to the point. They are leaders. Now for the downfall. These people tend to be less sensitive to others feelings.

For the "B" personalities. These people are very compassionate caring service oriented people. Their downfall is that they get their feelings hurt very easily.

In my business I deal with differing personality types, and my company felt that these differences were big enough that we all needed a class to learn to identify them, and to adjust our behavior accordingly.

Okay, we had one member give examples of Questions with 2 differing answers. If I may, can I suggest a 3rd answer?

Which comment is more helpful to an OP?

Q-I have not met the requirement to see my SO in the 2 years prior to filing. I filed a waiver request, and it got denied; so I am spending a fortune on a lawyer to appeal the denial.

A1-Keep trying. You will find a way to get the waiver approved. The system/process/life is so harsh, I can't believe that you/me/us have to go through to do this! I know you are sad and everyone here on this forum is so mean/harsh/uncaring. It's not fair/right that I/you/we have to go through this! It will all be OK in the end.

A2-There is very little chance of a waiver being approved, with or without the services of a lawyer. It may be wiser to spend the money on a plane ticket and solve the whole problem.

A-3 I'm so sorry to hear about your denial, this must be a difficult time for you. From my research I see that there is very little chance of a waiver being approved, with or without the services of a lawyer. It may be wiser to spend the money on a plane ticket to try to solve the problem. Whatever you choose, best of luck to you.

Q-I think I may fail my medical because I used ( insert whatever here).

A1-They are so cruel/harsh/unfair to put you/me/us through all this:( They are so mean/cruel/uncaring here on this forum!

A2-If you have evidence in your blood; they will probably find out. We will not, nor do not advise or advocate any illegal activity on this forum.

A3-You are right, you probably will fail your medical. I don't know the reasons behind your decision to use any sort of illegal drugs, but I hope you can learn from this lesson and make wiser decisions in the future. Whatever happens, I hope for a good future for you.

FYI, I am the type "A" personality, and I found I used to be much more blunt and to the point than I am now. I also learned that many people found this to be an annoying quirk in me. I now post my thoughts, then go back and reread it to see if I came across to harsh. Afterall, I am here to help anyone going through this with facts, nothing more nothing less. I just choose to do it a little softer than some.

[Ban Hammer 13,283]

Charles why are you defending him so much? I bet it would be different if Nessa was Arab.

mean guys do have to stick together

she's not, so it's a moot point. otherwise we could explore other hypothetical situations, like you being a guy from pakistan.

Or if someone made a rather insultulting post about Brazilian women

it's happened before

[jordanianprincess 0]

i think i mentioned that i didnt know posting PM was problem, and now i know, and all people looking about posting what people send me private cuz i he didnt want on board, okey what do u think if someone send u same judging msg, while u never knew him or even talk to him, dont u think u will get upsetfrom it, everyone judging me cuz i write PM post, why dont u just read it and see how its offending, while i never know him, and he just being judging as some do, and for u SARAh and hecham, i never mentioned u, u always give help, postive help, and am jsut againest negtive help, and i think the admin, just write, and said he recive the same subject alot and he want to find out what is going on, i think its not just my opnion! thanks alot and much respect for u all

OK- Micheal, you can be walking down the street, at work, in your car, in a store, anywhere and people are going to judge you. It happens to everyone all the time! We ALL get looked at and our words and actions evaluated and " judged" in real life.

On the internet, you are appraised by one method only and that's by what you say ( write), and how you present yourself. When you present your ideas and point of view you can bet the farm someone will disagree. It doesn't mean they are judging you! That's all it is-another POV .

Yeh, you got a ratty PM about the picture. It happens....I don't think the writer of the PM was " judging you" , I think he/she was just being a smartazz. Thicken your skin!

Oh and for the cotton ballers-"It will all be OK. I can't believe how unsupportive this place is! You are right. Every one here is a j$%k! I am leaving this forum in protest of how you have been judged! Relax a little!

ROFLMAO, thats why I never make posts about leaving VJ, its damn near impossible!