New girl

[Welshcookie 17]

Bar/nightclub, IMO not exactly a healthy way to meet someone, unless you are looking for an alcoholic.

hmmm....I met my husband in a bar....and we have a very healthy relationship... just because ppl frequent bars doesn't make them alcoholics

Edited October 17, 2006 by welshcookie

[Barry2005 0]

Bar/nightclub, IMO not exactly a healthy way to meet someone, unless you are looking for an alcoholic.

hmmm....I met my husband in a bar....and we have a very healthy relationship... just because ppl frequent bars doesn't make them alcoholics

You're right. It just makes them drunks!

[Marc and Olga 0]

Bar/nightclub, IMO not exactly a healthy way to meet someone, unless you are looking for an alcoholic.

hmmm....I met my husband in a bar....and we have a very healthy relationship... just because ppl frequent bars doesn't make them alcoholics

You're right. It just makes them drunks!

Hmm Acoholicly challenged? Oh wait...this isn't OT!

[Welshcookie 17]

Bar/nightclub, IMO not exactly a healthy way to meet someone, unless you are looking for an alcoholic.

hmmm....I met my husband in a bar....and we have a very healthy relationship... just because ppl frequent bars doesn't make them alcoholics

You're right. It just makes them drunks!

Hmm Acoholicly challenged? Oh wait...this isn't OT!

you are right! This is VJ.

[IrinaNMike 0]

Tonight for the first time I read through this whole thread, and I would like to post my own experience about meeting women on a trip to Ruisia, even though the thread appears to have moved away from the topic

I met one Russian woman over the Internet, went to Russia to meet her, fell in love, married her, and almost a year later we are still happy together. I did go to Russia with a "backup" list, in case things didn't work out, but things did work out, so I threw the list away.

However, in the two years since this started, I have heard dozens of other stories, mostly from Irina's friends, and I have come to realize that Irina's father spoke words of wisdom when he said, at our first meeting, how very lucky I was to have chosen Irina out of all the 48,000 Russian women on the Internet.

What he meant was that most of these Internet-inspired meetings are too quick and too shalllow for the two individuals to really understand each other; and I think he also meant that my choosing Irina was pure dumb luck rather than intelligent decision-making.

Irina laughs now about her occasional insincerity in her emails, as for example, when I wrote that I liked to hike, and she wrote back that she did too, but only in desperation after asking all her friends "what is hiking" and not getting any answers. Now, she does like to hike, but initially the concept of walking "For fun" rather than to reach an objective was incomprehensible to her.

I strongly agree with Akdiver: you have to be honest with these women and tell them that you're meeting others on your trip -- otherwise your marriage would start with a lie, and also you might be putting the second, third, and fourth women at risk, medically speaking, and they deserve to know about it.

Other than that, I hope that you will move slower than I did, meet as many women as possible, examine your feelings before you leap to a proposal, try to see past the facade and look at the real person, and ultimately meet a nice Russian woman with whom you will be very happy, as I did, and am.

[slim 1,525]

Great post Mike.

I'll piggy-back on that and say that Elena and I communicated for over 5 years before I even started the paperwork. I think that's going to really help us in the long run. That said, personally I believe that I never would've been able to choose her had I not taken the time to meet other girls and to realize that she really was the one that I wanted.

But, to the people that click on a profile, set up a meeting, and are married in only about 6 months... good for you too! Like they say, all's fair in love and war!

The main thing is just being honest with each other and realizing (the quicker the better) that certain things are going to piss you off about this person and be willing to admit that even if this (like sex) is good, that (like lying) isn't good, and down the road is going to ruin the relationship. Don't jump into anything until you're absolutely sure. If you're exchanging e-mails, and everything checks out, you meet and it's great, by all means, go for it!

I'm a firm believer in the existence of the understanding between two people that when you know something, like love, that you just know. If you don't get that gut feeling, don't do it! Good luck to all!

[PurrSuede 0]

The main thing is just being honest with each other and realizing (the quicker the better) that certain things are going to piss you off about this person and be willing to admit that even if this (like sex) is good, that (like lying) isn't good, and down the road is going to ruin the relationship. Don't jump into anything until you're absolutely sure. If you're exchanging e-mails, and everything checks out, you meet and it's great, by all means, go for it!

I'm a firm believer in the existence of the understanding between two people that when you know something, like love, that you just know. If you don't get that gut feeling, don't do it! Good luck to all!

You know, though, I had that "gut" feeling, it wasn't just a click and meet... mutual people that we both knew, both here in Russia and America told us we'd be good for each other... so we listened to them... though that wasn't the only reason we clicked... errr... synched with each other...

Unfortunately, as I've said, her "Americanization" process (the process of making her own choices in America) turned her into quite a different person from the one I knew in Russia.

That was NOT about denying her the opportunity to make her own choices, but the fact is that the choices she made were not about supporting the relationship or caring for her husband (that would be me...)

So even a "gut feeling" is no guarantee... granted, I'm no saint, and I made my share of mistakes, but there are things I would look at a lot longer and deeper before deciding to "go for it"...

My gut feeling (aka my heart) may say "yes!", but it's my HEAD (the larger one ~ LOL!) that is going to take a lot more convincing this time around...

-- Dan

Edited October 19, 2006 by PurrSuede

[slim 1,525]

Bar/nightclub, IMO not exactly a healthy way to meet someone, unless you are looking for an alcoholic.

hmmm....I met my husband in a bar....and we have a very healthy relationship... just because ppl frequent bars doesn't make them alcoholics

While I was doing my time in the Air Force we had to clarify the mere fact that you get overly intoxicated way too often doesn't make you an alcoholic.

It does, however, make you a drunk.

Alcoholics go to meetings!

Edited for spelling.... beer will do that to you. Fingers get heavy......

Edited October 20, 2006 by slim