Our journey is over...

[Girl from Celebes 588]

Paul, I met Karen in 2009 and we are getting married in a few days. Why not keep your long distance relationship going as it is not for a little longer until you are more able to afford the needs you will have as a couple?

True. My fiance and I have started dating since 2008 and we are still await to file for I-129F later this month. It's not money problem actually, more likely because we just very be careful for our journey. Paul, Robert was right. Ask Haidee to wait for a while. My opinion, no need to rush for marriage would give more insight about what you are both need going to do. But do not say that you choose your study over her. It hurts her as a woman.

Edited November 7, 2011 by Girl from Celebes

[Paul and Haidee 11]

I completely agree. I was looking for support because I felt so depressed from everything that is going on, but now its combined with another thread with a different topic. I guess we just have to deal with the VJ thread police...

It's none of my business but I did find it odd that the OP's post from 3 weeks ago was merged with this one. I usually never have an issue with mod thread movements but this did seem to be a different topic than his first post, albeit about the same people. If we use that rationale every topic by a single poster about their immigration 'journey' should be relegated to one continuous thread and that doesn't seem to be the case.

The only reason I bring it up is that I think it will affect responses to the OP's post. Many people only read the first portion of the thread and therefore will not be responding to the current issue which has to do with Paul and the fallout from his decision. I just want to make sure that Paul is getting the support that he needs right now from the community and not a bunch of off topic/irrelevant posts.

Thanks.

[Paul and Haidee 11]

I definitely am not choosing my studies over her. I am choosing to finish my degree FOR her, for us, and for our children. I don't want to be strugging through life because we chose to complete the journey when we knew we couldn't afford it. I just miss her.

True. My fiance and I have started dating since 2008 and we are still await to file for I-129F later this month. It's not money problem actually, more likely because we just very be careful for our journey. Paul, Robert was right. Ask Haidee to wait for a while. My opinion, no need to rush for marriage would give more insight about what you are both need going to do. But do not say that you choose your study over her. It hurts her as a woman.

[beejay 123]

I completely agree. I was looking for support because I felt so depressed from everything that is going on, but now its combined with another thread with a different topic. I guess we just have to deal with the VJ thread police...

This is their world, we just post in it.

Glad you came back. Are things any better? Is your fiancee more understanding of the situation? Are you handling it any better?

[Paul and Haidee 11]

I am feeling better and she is too.. its just sad that we might have to withdraw the application after all this had work because we can't afford it. she is looking for a job there for now to help out and i am working on saving money. so we will see....and yes its their world. id rather them help with a post pertaining to the thread than adding a reply that they moved something or combined something.

This is their world, we just post in it.

Glad you came back. Are things any better? Is your fiancee more understanding of the situation? Are you handling it any better?

[beejay 123]

Really glad to hear it. It sounds like the two of you have a strong relationship and good communication. You will make it through this.

[qwerty1974 11]

I was so sorry to read this thread. But you know, you're doing what you feel IS the right thing and noone can judge you on that...it IS the right thing if you feel so moved to do it. Your relationship will end up stronger for it as how you deal with this will truly show how strong and genuine the relationship is. My fiance knew all of the way trhough that if we needed to end this for financial reasons or for any of our children that we woul do just that, I made sure this was consistently communicated to him as we are both mature adults...no anger or recriminations. I just want to be with him, however long it takes or however many stops ands starts. So long as she knows you are truly making this decision for the right reasons you ought to have no problems at all. I'm sure she will realise that being angry or final about it will only make you doubt her intentions of marrrying you in the first place. Good luck with both of your degrees and fingers crossed that this time next year it'll be a different story

Edited November 28, 2011 by qwerty1974