Brits abroad in Missouri for 3 months...need help.

[Vicky and Larry 27]

Hello fellow, VJ'ers.

If any of you remember my last post you will know I posted about coming over to Missouri from the U.K to be with my fiance' for 3 months whilst awaiting for our NOA2. So, we made it. We had no problems at Chicago and sailed on through. I am here with my 16 year old son who is taking a gap year from his studies before we are settled out here.

Everything is going well and we are learning what living together as a family unit is like - it's good! I am going to start researching all the options we have so that when we are eventually out here and awaiting for our AOS we will have already set some wheels in motion. The biggest issue we are finding is how to consistently entertain my 16 year old. He's finding it hard being away from his friends and being couped up in the house all day is not so good for him.

We do have some resources: Larry works at a school and they have been kind enough to allow my son to attend one day last week. My son was quite withdrawn and really felt awkward with the cultural differences he found with his peers there. The school is very different from what he has experienced in England and I think he's afraid of taking a risk of going there again and not feeling like he belongs. We will work on encouraging him. My fiance's family are very supportive and have been available when they can, but we would much rather find him something to do in the day time.

So my question is has anyone got any ideas? We are here until the end of December. We keep looking for things to do, but we keep hitting brick walls. We both want this experience to enable my son to make friends and have some connections here for when we finally settle.

Has anyone got any experience of this situation?

I would be most grateful if people could shoot some ideas our way.

Thank you in advance.

[JoannaV 174]

Maybe there are some homeschooled highschoolers in the area who get together to do various things that he could join in with?

Maybe there's some kind of fun volunteering thing he could get involved in?

Sorry I can't think of anything else. I've no idea myself of how to construct a new social life haha.

[nutsmunkey2000 3]

I think this same dilemma can apply to people of many ages that move to a foreign country. It was actually a worry of mine when we decided to make the move to California as I would be leaving behind all my friends etc.. I decided to be proactive and join a local expat rugby club way in advance of moving plus a few of the sports and social clubs on the meetup website. www.meetup.com could be well worth a look depending on what sort of things your son is into!! for instance, is there a particular sport he likes to play? I'm sure you'll be able to find a local youth football (soccer) team he can sign up to. There are also mountain biking, hiking and kayaking groups which is a big benefit of moving to the US, all of which advertise on the meetup website and are often free.

As the other member said volunteering is an option but its not very appealing for a 16 year old lad as I remember what I was like at that age. There are organisations like the junior marines (kind of like cadets) and the scouts if that sort of thing interests him.

Like yourself I also spent 3 months with my fiancee in the US whilst waiting on the NAO2, it was a great way to prep myself for the pending move. It also allowed me to meet with local expats and sports clubs to build a relationship in advance which I keep going via email until I actually make the move (hopefully next week).

I hope this helps as I know how tough it is for me let alone a 16 year old lad....good luck

[Vicky and Larry 27]

I think this same dilemma can apply to people of many ages that move to a foreign country. It was actually a worry of mine when we decided to make the move to California as I would be leaving behind all my friends etc.. I decided to be proactive and join a local expat rugby club way in advance of moving plus a few of the sports and social clubs on the meetup website. www.meetup.com could be well worth a look depending on what sort of things your son is into!! for instance, is there a particular sport he likes to play? I'm sure you'll be able to find a local youth football (soccer) team he can sign up to. There are also mountain biking, hiking and kayaking groups which is a big benefit of moving to the US, all of which advertise on the meetup website and are often free.

As the other member said volunteering is an option but its not very appealing for a 16 year old lad as I remember what I was like at that age. There are organisations like the junior marines (kind of like cadets) and the scouts if that sort of thing interests him.

Like yourself I also spent 3 months with my fiancee in the US whilst waiting on the NAO2, it was a great way to prep myself for the pending move. It also allowed me to meet with local expats and sports clubs to build a relationship in advance which I keep going via email until I actually make the move (hopefully next week).

I hope this helps as I know how tough it is for me let alone a 16 year old lad....good luck

Thanks for all this info.

It's especially helpful to hear from people who have direct experience. I am going to look up some of the things you have suggested.

Yes, 16 year old's are a special case in many ways, ha, ha. At the end of the day he is going to have to invest his time and energy into connecting with people if he wants to make friendships. I think that aspect is hard when you are at that age, because you feel so self conscious and aware of other people. It will be a good learning experience for him.

Thanks again.

[nutsmunkey2000 3]

Thanks for all this info.

It's especially helpful to hear from people who have direct experience. I am going to look up some of the things you have suggested.

Yes, 16 year old's are a special case in many ways, ha, ha. At the end of the day he is going to have to invest his time and energy into connecting with people if he wants to make friendships. I think that aspect is hard when you are at that age, because you feel so self conscious and aware of other people. It will be a good learning experience for him.

Thanks again.

No problem, good luck and let me know how it all goes for you. I'm interviewing at 8am tomorrow morning and will hopefully be flying out very soon.

[Vicky and Larry 27]

No problem, good luck and let me know how it all goes for you. I'm interviewing at 8am tomorrow morning and will hopefully be flying out very soon.

Oh my gosh! That's the interview, right! Sending out all the best vibes possible. How exciting! Keep me posted!

Luck!!!!!!