Riads in Casablanca

[KittyPollitt 284]

I like you, too, Sarah. I always have. You're gutsy, witty, direct, honest, no nonsense, smart as all get out and I'm sure you're a great mom, too. A lot of us know your story, and I think I'm correct in saying that many of us have admired your determination, resourcefulness and near indestructibly in the way you don't let obstacles overcome you.

But, you know I'm as direct and no nonsense as you are, and I'm very disappointed at the way you're reacted to this thread. Despite what you may see on the surface or how governments act, honor is still a strong part of Arab cultures, and that's not soon to change. Inter-cultural/inter-faith unions are hard enough without losing yourself. Non-Muslim western women don't need to become Arab to be with an Arab man, in fact, I've spoken out here frequently against a lack of integrity in your relationship because it can lead to a loss of self-esteem and identity, which can lead to marital difficulties. Hell, if he wanted an Arab woman, he should have married one, and vice versa.

I'm Muslim and Arab, yet I don't wear hijab or walk two steps behind my man or any of that when I'm in a Muslim country. But, there's a difference between resisting becoming something you're not and showing disrespect to the people you're with. Frankly, I have to wonder what is going on with your man and his family that they would go so far to not demand more respect and reign you in themselves.

I don't come here year after year with what must seem to many of the liberated types like archaic and incredibly old-fashioned advice for no reason. The failure rate of marriages over matters of respect and self-esteem in this forum is high, us old-timers know it, and I figure it's a good idea to let folks in on the very basics of how you should expect to be treated if you are valued by his family.

Universally, what a man looks for in a girlfriend and what he wants in a wife are two different things. In Arab cultures, this distinction is generally magnified. There are certainly men and families who will fall outside of this norm, but there are too many who won't. Believe me, the ones who won't are the ones you want because they will respect your differences if you, in turn, respect theirs.

I've never been non-Arab, but I hear that a book titled "Believing As Ourselves" is a good resource for those who are and who become involved with an Arab man. I don't think it's been mentioned here for a while, so those of you who do read it, I'd love to know what you think.

Anyway, Sarah, you're young yet, some of this may grow on you in time. No matter what, I continue to wish you well as I have since you burst upon the MENA scene. You never cease to amaze me and I hope you never will.

Salaam

However,it is advised NOT to marry a non-Muslim woman, nor is it NOT advised you to marry just any Muslim woman. For married life is not based only on beauty and attraction,or culture and race, rather the wise Muslim must look with insight at what is beyond that, because he needs to be sure that his house will be looked after in his absence, and he needs to bring up his children, and he will not be able to find that or other things which every wise husband seeks, except with a religious Muslim woman. This is the advice of our Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him.

It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “A woman may be married for four reasons: her wealth, her lineage, her beauty and her religious commitment. Choose the one who is religious, may your hands be rubbed with dust [i.e., may you prosper].”

(Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 4802; Muslim, 1466).

[Danni and Hamza 36]

Salaam

However,it is advised NOT to marry a non-Muslim woman, nor is it NOT advised you to marry just any Muslim woman. For married life is not based only on beauty and attraction,or culture and race, rather the wise Muslim must look with insight at what is beyond that, because he needs to be sure that his house will be looked after in his absence, and he needs to bring up his children, and he will not be able to find that or other things which every wise husband seeks, except with a religious Muslim woman. This is the advice of our Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him.

It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “A woman may be married for four reasons: her wealth, her lineage, her beauty and her religious commitment. Choose the one who is religious, may your hands be rubbed with dust [i.e., may you prosper].”

(Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 4802; Muslim, 1466).

Could you clarify. Are you saying the only reason a Muslim male would marry outside of his faith is beauty, and attraction ? Muslim men are shallow? Also please clarify... Religious Muslim women are the only women who can clean a house, and take care of children ? This is a nice sentiment towards the religion of Islam, and I am sure its just to promote interfaith marriage. However it is permissible for Muslim men to marry out of their faith. Certainly any male immigrating to America, not only Muslims males will have a much less narrow view of marriage. I say this because, their female petitioner will have to be some kind of career women in order to afford the cost of immigrating a spouse, and for sponsoring their spouse. So the marriage will have to be based on something more then a female to keep look after their home in their absence. As the female will most likely be the bread winner in the household till the time the beneficiary male is able to work.

By the way this post is meant no offense to the Islamic Prophet, in my view he was a great person. He brought many great wisdom's to the people of this world. One of those things was to cherish women...be they wives, daughters, sisters or mothers. Isn't it true that Khadīja, his first wife was more then just a women to clean his house in his absence. She was also his business partner, his companion, his supporter when no one else was. I read that the prophet went to his wives for advice even on the smallest of matters. So i am sure the Prophet of Islam sees more to a women's role in a marriage then cleaning, and child rearing. Which any women could do, not only a Muslim women. My husband often time tells me about how the prophet of Islam helped his wives to clean, and in their chores....so in an Islamic prospective, i think there is nothing wrong with a women who is not the sole care taker of the home. Also any male coming to America must understand, that in this economy chances are high both people in the marriage will need to work. This leaves the children to either be in daycare, or go to a relative. The families i know generally cannot afford for one person to stay home, and not work.

So any male, Muslim or not... must be aware of this, as his future spouse may not be able to " bring up their kids" without some assistance,in the form of daycare. Muslim women in America and around the world work, and use daycare. Especially if she is petitioning a male immigrant spouse, as it is very hard for immigrants of any country to find a "Good" job here in America right away. Marriage in my perspective should be based off way more then whether a women can clean, and stay home with children. Marriage is a partnership, with many dynamics...What you described is a housekeeper/Nanny. It does not take a Religious Muslim women to be either of these things. If I were a Muslim women, I would be offended at the very simplistic view of what you have made their marriages out to be. Even if a women is a stay at home mom, and she is able to take care of the home, and raise the children without assistance...I would hope the marriage is based off more then her ability to do these things.

I apologize for the rant,but your post was insulting to me as a non Muslim women, married to a Muslim male. I am also insulted on behalf of my Husband, because as a Muslim Male he would never be so shallow as to base marriage off these two simple things you have mentioned.

To the original OP, I hope that you are able to work out appropriate accommodations for yourself, and your fiance. Sorry for the hijacking!

-Danni

Edited January 11, 2012 by Danni and Hamza

[Eesaan 5]

Could you clarify. Are you saying the only reason a Muslim male would marry outside of his faith is beauty, and attraction ? Muslim men are shallow? Also please clarify... Religious Muslim women are the only women who can clean a house, and take care of children ? This is a nice sentiment towards the religion of Islam, and I am sure its just to promote interfaith marriage. However it is permissible for Muslim men to marry out of their faith. Certainly any male immigrating to America, not only Muslims males will have a much less narrow view of marriage. I say this because, their female petitioner will have to be some kind of career women in order to afford the cost of immigrating a spouse, and for sponsoring their spouse. So the marriage will have to be based on something more then a female to keep look after their home in their absence. As the female will most likely be the bread winner in the household till the time the beneficiary male is able to work.

By the way this post is meant no offense to the Islamic Prophet, in my view he was a great person. He brought many great wisdom's to the people of this world. One of those things was to cherish women...be they wives, daughters, sisters or mothers. Isn't it true that Khadīja, his first wife was more then just a women to clean his house in his absence. She was also his business partner, his companion, his supporter when no one else was. I read that the prophet went to his wives for advice even on the smallest of matters. So i am sure the Prophet of Islam sees more to a women's role in a marriage then cleaning, and child rearing. Which any women could do, not only a Muslim women. My husband often time tells me about how the prophet of Islam helped his wives to clean, and in their chores....so in an Islamic prospective, i think there is nothing wrong with a women who is not the sole care taker of the home. Also any male coming to America must understand, that in this economy chances are high both people in the marriage will need to work. This leaves the children to either be in daycare, or go to a relative. The families i know generally cannot afford for one person to stay home, and not work.

So any male, Muslim or not... must be aware of this, as his future spouse may not be able to " bring up their kids" without some assistance,in the form of daycare. Muslim women in America and around the world work, and use daycare. Especially if she is petitioning a male immigrant spouse, as it is very hard for immigrants of any country to find a "Good" job here in America right away. Marriage in my perspective should be based off way more then whether a women can clean, and stay home with children. Marriage is a partnership, with many dynamics...What you described is a housekeeper/Nanny. It does not take a Religious Muslim women to be either of these things. If I were a Muslim women, I would be offended at the very simplistic view of what you have made their marriages out to be. Even if a women is a stay at home mom, and she is able to take care of the home, and raise the children without assistance...I would hope the marriage is based off more then her ability to do these things.

I apologize for the rant,but your post was insulting to me as a non Muslim women, married to a Muslim male. I am also insulted on behalf of my Husband, because as a Muslim Male he would never be so shallow as to base marriage off these two simple things you have mentioned.

To the original OP, I hope that you are able to work out appropriate accommodations for yourself, and your fiance. Sorry for the hijacking!

-Danni

Shaykh al-Sa’di said in his Tafseer (commentary on the Qur’aan), 1/458:

“‘… (lawful to you in marriage) are chaste women – i.e., free and chaste - from the believers and chaste women –free and chaste - from those who were given the Scripture (Jews and Christians) before your time…’ i.e., from among the Jews and Christians. This is adding specific details to the aayah (interpretation of the meaning): ‘And do not marry al-mushrikaat (idolatresses, etc.) till they believe (worship Allaah alone)…’ [al-Baqarah 2:221].”

As for promiscuous women, those who do not keep themselves chaste and free from immoral sexual conduct, it is not permitted to marry them, whether they are Muslims or from among the People of the Book (Jews and Christians), unless they repent, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “Let no man guilty of fornication or adultery marry any but a woman similarly guilty, or an unbeliever: nor let any but such a man or an unbeliever marry such a woman: to the Believers such a thing is forbidden.” [al-Noor 24:3]

But if a woman is not chaste, and she has boyfriends or lovers with whom she is intimate, then Islam forbids marriage to her, whether she is a Muslim or a woman from among the People of the Book, just as it forbids marriage to a man who has girlfriends or lovers, to protect married life from collapse and to protect against mixing of lineages and to avoid causes of dispute, accusation and suspicion.

With regard to the Muslim husband attending marriage parties according to the Christian tradition, this is not permissible because there will be many things in these celebrations that are forbidden in Islam, such as free mixing between men and women, listening to music, drinking alcohol, dancing etc

[momof1 205]

Could you clarify. Are you saying the only reason a Muslim male would marry outside of his faith is beauty, and attraction ? Muslim men are shallow? Also please clarify... Religious Muslim women are the only women who can clean a house, and take care of children ? This is a nice sentiment towards the religion of Islam, and I am sure its just to promote interfaith marriage. However it is permissible for Muslim men to marry out of their faith. Certainly any male immigrating to America, not only Muslims males will have a much less narrow view of marriage. I say this because, their female petitioner will have to be some kind of career women in order to afford the cost of immigrating a spouse, and for sponsoring their spouse. So the marriage will have to be based on something more then a female to keep look after their home in their absence. As the female will most likely be the bread winner in the household till the time the beneficiary male is able to work.

By the way this post is meant no offense to the Islamic Prophet, in my view he was a great person. He brought many great wisdom's to the people of this world. One of those things was to cherish women...be they wives, daughters, sisters or mothers. Isn't it true that Khadīja, his first wife was more then just a women to clean his house in his absence. She was also his business partner, his companion, his supporter when no one else was. I read that the prophet went to his wives for advice even on the smallest of matters. So i am sure the Prophet of Islam sees more to a women's role in a marriage then cleaning, and child rearing. Which any women could do, not only a Muslim women. My husband often time tells me about how the prophet of Islam helped his wives to clean, and in their chores....so in an Islamic prospective, i think there is nothing wrong with a women who is not the sole care taker of the home. Also any male coming to America must understand, that in this economy chances are high both people in the marriage will need to work. This leaves the children to either be in daycare, or go to a relative. The families i know generally cannot afford for one person to stay home, and not work.

So any male, Muslim or not... must be aware of this, as his future spouse may not be able to " bring up their kids" without some assistance,in the form of daycare. Muslim women in America and around the world work, and use daycare. Especially if she is petitioning a male immigrant spouse, as it is very hard for immigrants of any country to find a "Good" job here in America right away. Marriage in my perspective should be based off way more then whether a women can clean, and stay home with children. Marriage is a partnership, with many dynamics...What you described is a housekeeper/Nanny. It does not take a Religious Muslim women to be either of these things. If I were a Muslim women, I would be offended at the very simplistic view of what you have made their marriages out to be. Even if a women is a stay at home mom, and she is able to take care of the home, and raise the children without assistance...I would hope the marriage is based off more then her ability to do these things.

I apologize for the rant,but your post was insulting to me as a non Muslim women, married to a Muslim male. I am also insulted on behalf of my Husband, because as a Muslim Male he would never be so shallow as to base marriage off these two simple things you have mentioned.

To the original OP, I hope that you are able to work out appropriate accommodations for yourself, and your fiance. Sorry for the hijacking!

-Danni

I'm muslim and I'm insulted. Just remember to be thankful that at least you don't have such a judgmental attitude.

[momof1 205]

Shaykh al-Sa’di said in his Tafseer (commentary on the Qur’aan), 1/458:

“‘… (lawful to you in marriage) are chaste women – i.e., free and chaste - from the believers and chaste women –free and chaste - from those who were given the Scripture (Jews and Christians) before your time…’ i.e., from among the Jews and Christians. This is adding specific details to the aayah (interpretation of the meaning): ‘And do not marry al-mushrikaat (idolatresses, etc.) till they believe (worship Allaah alone)…’ [al-Baqarah 2:221].”

As for promiscuous women, those who do not keep themselves chaste and free from immoral sexual conduct, it is not permitted to marry them, whether they are Muslims or from among the People of the Book (Jews and Christians), unless they repent, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “Let no man guilty of fornication or adultery marry any but a woman similarly guilty, or an unbeliever: nor let any but such a man or an unbeliever marry such a woman: to the Believers such a thing is forbidden.” [al-Noor 24:3]

But if a woman is not chaste, and she has boyfriends or lovers with whom she is intimate, then Islam forbids marriage to her, whether she is a Muslim or a woman from among the People of the Book, just as it forbids marriage to a man who has girlfriends or lovers, to protect married life from collapse and to protect against mixing of lineages and to avoid causes of dispute, accusation and suspicion.

With regard to the Muslim husband attending marriage parties according to the Christian tradition, this is not permissible because there will be many things in these celebrations that are forbidden in Islam, such as free mixing between men and women, listening to music, drinking alcohol, dancing etc

Have you never seen an arabic wedding?---dancing, mixing, and music!!!! Seriously, I've read all of these hadeeth and ayat before but I just can't figure out why you'd post them on a site like this. I wanted to add that my husband and I were introduced by friends but never were alone together until we were married. We did what we thought was correct as we were both muslim BUT I also don't care what anyone else does. That's not my business to think about or to judge as none of us will be called to account for another's actions.

[Eesaan 5]

Have you never seen an arabic wedding?---dancing, mixing, and music!!!! Seriously, I've read all of these hadeeth and ayat before but I just can't figure out why you'd post them on a site like this. I wanted to add that my husband and I were introduced by friends but never were alone together until we were married. We did what we thought was correct as we were both muslim BUT I also don't care what anyone else does. That's not my business to think about or to judge as none of us will be called to account for another's actions.

Fataawa al-Lajnah al-Daa’imah:

If wedding parties are free of evils such as men mixing with women and indecent songs, or if you attend then these evils will be changed, then it is permissible to attend, so as to share in the occasion of joy. Rather it is obligatory to attend if there is some evil that you can remove.

But if there are evil things in these parties that you cannot denounce, then it is haraam to attend them because of the general meaning of the words of Allaah (interpretation of the meaning):

“And leave alone those who take their religion as play and amusement, and whom the life of this world has deceived. But remind (them) with it (the Qur’aan) lest a person be given up to destruction for that which he has earned, when he will find for himself no protector or intercessor besides Allaah” [al-An’aam 6:70]

“And of mankind is he who purchases idle talks (i.e. music, singing) to mislead (men) from the path of Allaah without knowledge, and takes it (the path of Allaah, or the Verses of the Qur’aan) by way of mockery. For such there will be a humiliating torment (in the Hell-fire)”

[Luqmaan 31:6]

And because of the many ahaadeeth which condemn singing and musical instruments.

From Fataawa al-Mar’ah, compiled by Muhammad al-Musnad, p. 92

[KittyPollitt 284]

Fataawa al-Lajnah al-Daa’imah:

If wedding parties are free of evils such as men mixing with women and indecent songs, or if you attend then these evils will be changed, then it is permissible to attend, so as to share in the occasion of joy. Rather it is obligatory to attend if there is some evil that you can remove.

But if there are evil things in these parties that you cannot denounce, then it is haraam to attend them because of the general meaning of the words of Allaah (interpretation of the meaning):

“And leave alone those who take their religion as play and amusement, and whom the life of this world has deceived. But remind (them) with it (the Qur’aan) lest a person be given up to destruction for that which he has earned, when he will find for himself no protector or intercessor besides Allaah” [al-An’aam 6:70]

“And of mankind is he who purchases idle talks (i.e. music, singing) to mislead (men) from the path of Allaah without knowledge, and takes it (the path of Allaah, or the Verses of the Qur’aan) by way of mockery. For such there will be a humiliating torment (in the Hell-fire)”

[Luqmaan 31:6]

And because of the many ahaadeeth which condemn singing and musical instruments.

From Fataawa al-Mar’ah, compiled by Muhammad al-Musnad, p. 92

You should be posting this stuff on a religious related website.

[momof1 205]

You should be posting this stuff on a religious related website.

exactly!!! I'm not arguing from the religious perspective but they said that these things are part of a christian wedding tradition. They are no more part of the christian tradition than they are the islamic one...however both cultures tend to have the same kind of wedding celebration afterwards. No hadeeth necessary because there is a difference between religious permissibility and what actually happens. It must suck to see the world through such limited point of view.

[KittyPollitt 284]

exactly!!! I'm not arguing from the religious perspective but they said that these things are part of a christian wedding tradition. They are no more part of the christian tradition than they are the islamic one...however both cultures tend to have the same kind of wedding celebration afterwards. No hadeeth necessary because there is a difference between religious permissibility and what actually happens. It must suck to see the world through such limited point of view.

Scary actually. People who interpret ancient religious texts literally and attempt to apply them to the modern age are at the core of each of the religious radical movements.

Edited January 11, 2012 by Crack Is Wack

[Eesaan 5]

Scary actually. People who interpret ancient religious texts literally and attempt to apply them to the modern age are at the core of each of the religious radical movements.

Islam is a divinely-revealed religion, and it is revelation (wahy) from Allaah, may He be exalted. The Qur'aan and Sunnah both come from Allaah. Allaah has made this religion the final religion, and has made its Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) the final Prophet and Messenger.

Every attempt on the part of the kuffaar and atheists to destroy Islam or distort it has ended in failure and loss, because Allaah has guaranteed to protect the foundations of this religion, namely the Qur’aan and Sunnah.

“Verily, We, it is We Who have sent down the Dhikr (i.e. the Qur’aan) and surely, We will guard it (from corruption)”

[al-Hijr 15:9]

[Eesaan 5]

exactly!!! I'm not arguing from the religious perspective but they said that these things are part of a christian wedding tradition. They are no more part of the christian tradition than they are the islamic one...however both cultures tend to have the same kind of wedding celebration afterwards. No hadeeth necessary because there is a difference between religious permissibility and what actually happens. It must suck to see the world through such limited point of view.

Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in al-Sharh al-Mumti’ (6/115):

We must highlight this point, that going along with customs so long as they are not haraam is the Sunnah, because going against customs is a kind of vanity, and the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) forbade the dress of fame and vanity, so that which goes against customs is also forbidden. End quote.

Hence we advise you to hold a wedding celebration and we ask Allaah to bless it. You should do it in accordance with the custom and tradition of people in your country, and you should not try to cast off all of their customs. All that you have to do is reject and avoid those customs that are haraam, such as using music – apart from the daff – and mixing between men and women

[KittyPollitt 284]

Islam is a divinely-revealed religion, and it is revelation (wahy) from Allaah, may He be exalted. The Qur'aan and Sunnah both come from Allaah. Allaah has made this religion the final religion, and has made its Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) the final Prophet and Messenger.

Every attempt on the part of the kuffaar and atheists to destroy Islam or distort it has ended in failure and loss, because Allaah has guaranteed to protect the foundations of this religion, namely the Qur’aan and Sunnah.

“Verily, We, it is We Who have sent down the Dhikr (i.e. the Qur’aan) and surely, We will guard it (from corruption)”

[al-Hijr 15:9]

Perhaps you should be working to marry off Moroccan women to Saudi men, instead of helping Moroccan men immigrate to America in the beds of American women. If your greatest concern is "keeping pure tribal lines" and defending the faith, then helping Muslim men and women to immigrate to a largely Christian country with a culture that is (sadly) hostile towards Islam is probably not the way to go about it.

[nurse1967 287]

Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in al-Sharh al-Mumti’ (6/115):

We must highlight this point, that going along with customs so long as they are not haraam is the Sunnah, because going against customs is a kind of vanity, and the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) forbade the dress of fame and vanity, so that which goes against customs is also forbidden. End quote.

Hence we advise you to hold a wedding celebration and we ask Allaah to bless it. You should do it in accordance with the custom and tradition of people in your country, and you should not try to cast off all of their customs. All that you have to do is reject and avoid those customs that are haraam, such as using music – apart from the daff – and mixing between men and women

Who is this freak?????????????

[Danni and Hamza 36]

Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in al-Sharh al-Mumti’ (6/115):

We must highlight this point, that going along with customs so long as they are not haraam is the Sunnah, because going against customs is a kind of vanity, and the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) forbade the dress of fame and vanity, so that which goes against customs is also forbidden. End quote.

Hence we advise you to hold a wedding celebration and we ask Allaah to bless it. You should do it in accordance with the custom and tradition of people in your country, and you should not try to cast off all of their customs. All that you have to do is reject and avoid those customs that are haraam, such as using music – apart from the daff – and mixing between men and women

In your reply to my post you spoke of only promiscuity, chaste women, virgins. I find it a little off-putting that I was speaking to the fact that a woman's role in a marriage is much more then cleaning, and child rearing... and the first thing that you speak of next is sex related. I think this shows your value of women. Do you value women only on their sexual status, cleaning ability, and child rearing skills?

Every great leader in this world has had a good woman standing beside them. Notice I said beside them, and not behind them. Every great Male leader, and smart male in this world will tell you that their greatest supporter, ally, confidant, strength is their wife.

As for the promiscuity of any women, it is no ones place to discuss but their own. No ones place to pass judgement. Christians have a saying about this. "Let he who has no sin, be the first to cast a stone" This saying actually comes from the Bible. From a prophet I believe you are familiar with ...Jesus. John 7:53 - John 8:11. Its actually speaking about an "adulterous" woman.

I know you don't follow the bible, but I am quoting it anyway... because in your replies to me you quoted the Qur'an which i do not follow either. However you do believe Jesus to be a prophet, and I believe these are his words.

As for not listening to music or dancing... My husband has told me a story that was passed down to him about a festival that came to town in the prophets time. His wives asked him to go there, and so they all went together to here the music, and dance. He said that people gathered on the street to hear the music men and women. If this is true, then why is music now forbidden? I understand that in Muslim marriages, and weddings, that men and women are generally separated. This is the religion, and culture of Muslims in MENA, and no one can say its wrong, because this is their lives, and choices.

However if you are moving to a country with a different culture then your own , then you should be prepared to live in the culture you are moving to. You will be hard pressed to find a job, entertainment, restaurant, family activities, weddings, theater, where there is no music, or co-mingling. You might as well be a hermit. This is how it is.

-Danni

[Eesaan 5]

In your reply to my post you spoke of only promiscuity, chaste women, virgins. I find it a little off-putting that I was speaking to the fact that a woman's role in a marriage is much more then cleaning, and child rearing... and the first thing that you speak of next is sex related. I think this shows your value of women. Do you value women only on their sexual status, cleaning ability, and child rearing skills?

Every great leader in this world has had a good woman standing beside them. Notice I said beside them, and not behind them. Every great Male leader, and smart male in this world will tell you that their greatest supporter, ally, confidant, strength is their wife.

As for the promiscuity of any women, it is no ones place to discuss but their own. No ones place to pass judgement. Christians have a saying about this. "Let he who has no sin, be the first to cast a stone" This saying actually comes from the Bible. From a prophet I believe you are familiar with ...Jesus. John 7:53 - John 8:11. Its actually speaking about an "adulterous" woman.

I know you don't follow the bible, but I am quoting it anyway... because in your replies to me you quoted the Qur'an which i do not follow either. However you do believe Jesus to be a prophet, and I believe these are his words.

As for not listening to music or dancing... My husband has told me a story that was passed down to him about a festival that came to town in the prophets time. His wives asked him to go there, and so they all went together to here the music, and dance. He said that people gathered on the street to hear the music men and women. If this is true, then why is music now forbidden? I understand that in Muslim marriages, and weddings, that men and women are generally separated. This is the religion, and culture of Muslims in MENA, and no one can say its wrong, because this is their lives, and choices.

However if you are moving to a country with a different culture then your own , then you should be prepared to live in the culture you are moving to. You will be hard pressed to find a job, entertainment, restaurant, family activities, weddings, theater, where there is no music, or co-mingling. You might as well be a hermit. This is how it is.

-Danni

Allaah says in Soorat Luqmaan (interpretation of the meaning):

“And of mankind is he who purchases idle talks (i.e. music, singing) to mislead (men) from the path of Allaah…” [Luqmaan 31:6

Al-Sa’di (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: this includes all manner of haraam speech, all idle talk and falsehood, and all nonsense that encourages kufr and disobedience; the words of those who say things to refute the truth and argue in support of falsehood to defeat the truth; and backbiting, slander, lies, insults and curses; the singing and musical instruments of the Shaytaan; and musical instruments which are of no spiritual or worldly benefit. (Tafseer al-Sa’di, 6/150)

The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:

“Among my ummah there will certainly be people who permit zinaa, silk, alcohol and musical instruments…” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari ta’leeqan, no. 5590; narrated as mawsool by al-Tabaraani and al-Bayhaqi. See al-Silsilah al-Saheehah by al-Albaani, 91).

This hadeeth indicates in two ways that musical instruments and enjoyment of listening to music are haraam. The first is the fact that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “[they] permit” which clearly indicates that the things mentioned, including musical instruments, are haraam according to sharee’ah, but those people will permit them. The second is the fact that musical instruments are mentioned alongside things which are definitely known to be haraam, i.e., zinaa and alcohol: if they (musical instruments) were not haraam, why would they be mentioned alongside these things? (adapted from al-Silsilah al-Saheehah by al-Albaani, 1/140-141

PROVIDE PROOF THE PROPHET SENT HIS WIVES TO LISTEN TO MUSIC

It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “A woman may be married for four reasons: her wealth, her lineage, her beauty and her religious commitment. Choose the one who is religious, may your hands be rubbed with dust [i.e., may you prosper].”

(Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 4802; Muslim, 1466).

Al-Nawawi said:

The correct meaning of this hadeeth is that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) was describing what people usually do, for they seek these four characteristics, the last of which in their view is religious commitment, but you, the one who is seeking guidance, should look for a wife who is religious. But this is not an absolute command.

This hadeeth encourages keeping company with people who are religiously committed in all things, because the one who keeps company with them will benefit from their good attitude and morals, their blessing and their good ways, and he will be safe from mischief at their hands.

Sharh Muslim, 10/52

But marriage to women of the People of the Book leads to a great deal of mischief and trouble, such as:

1. He may have to be courteous to this wife of his at the expense of his religion, especially if she is “very committed” to her own religion. This may mean that she will hang up crosses and go to the church, and the children will not be safe in this environment.

Who is this freak?????????????

Perhaps you should be working to marry off Moroccan women to Saudi men, instead of helping Moroccan men immigrate to America in the beds of American women. If your greatest concern is "keeping pure tribal lines" and defending the faith, then helping Muslim men and women to immigrate to a largely Christian country with a culture that is (sadly) hostile towards Islam is probably not the way to go about it.

It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “A woman may be married for four reasons: her wealth, her lineage, her beauty and her religious commitment. Choose the one who is religious, may your hands be rubbed with dust [i.e., may you prosper].”

(Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 4802; Muslim, 1466).

Al-Nawawi said:

The correct meaning of this hadeeth is that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) was describing what people usually do, for they seek these four characteristics, the last of which in their view is religious commitment, but you, the one who is seeking guidance, should look for a wife who is religious

This hadeeth encourages keeping company with people who are religiously committed in all things, because the one who keeps company with them will benefit from their good attitude and morals, their blessing and their good ways, and he will be safe from mischief at their hands