vawa

[akkk 1]

i have been married to a US citizen for last 5 months and we had been dating 1 year before we got married in the begining every thing was good but suddenly my wife's behaviour started to change towards me . she was diagnosed with ovary cancer just after we got married but she can not afford a treatment cz she was covered by her father's health insurance and she was excluded from it cz of her marriage to me .she started to blaming me for every thing she has been going through and started treating me badly cursing yelling at me calling me names infront of my family and friends. by that time we had already filled i 130 and 1 485 for me (i came to US on a student visa ). now the situation is that she has quit her job she makes me pay all the bills and rent plus i have to give her money for her perseonal expenses . if i dont she hold threat of withdrawing i 130 and get me deported since illegal immigration law has been passed in alabama (we located in montgomery AL) if she withdraw i 130 and just call the police i would be detained by them for illegal presence in the country. since its a crime to be an illegal immigrant in alabama ... i have been going through a lot of stress and anxiety i am badly stuck in an abusive relationship my friends can not come to my house if i go see them she keeps tabs one me and call all my freinds and inquire about me some times she turn into a an evil person .. i perseonally think she is suffering from a bipolar disorder . now a friend told me about vawa self petition can be my way out of this i contacted a lawyer she told me that i can file for vawa and get out of this abusive situation she told me if my friends can testify about her abusive behavioor towards me i am gonna be able to get a green card on my own ...here are my question... is this true ?..... isn't vawa is hard to get approved for men? .. dont you need medical reports and police reports to proof your case ? i dont have neither one of them since i have never been abused physically... am i gonna be able to make my case only on the basis of freinds testimoney and letter from my therapist? ..... please help me any suggestion any advice would be greast

[bigdog 376]

I was married to Bi Polar wife very scary. I do not think she can have you deported, see an immigration and divorce attorney.

Edited October 6, 2011 by bigdog

[akkk 1]

i have seen an attorney she think that i do have a case but i m still confuse about vawa i need to make sure that i do have a strong case before i file for it

[milimelo 4,486]

If she is under 26 she still falls under her parent's insurance regardless if she is married or not. You as her spouse do not get medical insurance through her parent. Have her contact her father's medical insurance.

[Aztec&Taino 144]

To me what you have described is not a case with grounds for VAWA, but a case of your wife being diagnosed with CANCER and her reaction has been mixed with anger, fear, and frustration. Now, as to the reason why she quit her job you don't care to elaborate, but could she be undergoing depression as a result of her diagnosis? What plans do you have, as a couple, to be able to deal with this potentially life-changing diagnosis? Why do you complain about now being the head of household? Isn't that what a marriage is about? About being able to stick together through highs and lows? She is having the low of getting a dangerous diagnosis that may even affect her reproductive health and you are complaining that you are now in charge of the bills? I am sorry if I seem unsympathetic, but unless you have failed to express yourself and your situtation well enough, I do not quite understand the issue...

[Yahya54 4]

i have been married to a US citizen for last 5 months and we had been dating 1 year before we got married in the begining every thing was good but suddenly my wife's behaviour started to change towards me . she was diagnosed with ovary cancer just after we got married but she can not afford a treatment cz she was covered by her father's health insurance and she was excluded from it cz of her marriage to me .she started to blaming me for every thing she has been going through and started treating me badly cursing yelling at me calling me names infront of my family and friends. by that time we had already filled i 130 and 1 485 for me (i came to US on a student visa ). now the situation is that she has quit her job she makes me pay all the bills and rent plus i have to give her money for her perseonal expenses . if i dont she hold threat of withdrawing i 130 and get me deported since illegal immigration law has been passed in alabama (we located in montgomery AL) if she withdraw i 130 and just call the police i would be detained by them for illegal presence in the country. since its a crime to be an illegal immigrant in alabama ... i have been going through a lot of stress and anxiety i am badly stuck in an abusive relationship my friends can not come to my house if i go see them she keeps tabs one me and call all my freinds and inquire about me some times she turn into a an evil person .. i perseonally think she is suffering from a bipolar disorder . now a friend told me about vawa self petition can be my way out of this i contacted a lawyer she told me that i can file for vawa and get out of this abusive situation she told me if my friends can testify about her abusive behavioor towards me i am gonna be able to get a green card on my own ...here are my question... is this true ?..... isn't vawa is hard to get approved for men? .. dont you need medical reports and police reports to proof your case ? i dont have neither one of them since i have never been abused physically... am i gonna be able to make my case only on the basis of freinds testimoney and letter from my therapist? ..... please help me any suggestion any advice would be greast

im with aztec 100% in order to file for vawa you need hard evidenc that you suffer abuse police reports statment from friend and its sound to me that you going to have to prove good faith marrige since you been married for 5 month if your wife been call you name or keep call you when you go out that what woman dos its not abouse im male and i got my green card throu vawa its not what you thing its hard

good luck

[akkk 1]

im with aztec 100% in order to file for vawa you need hard evidenc that you suffer abuse police reports statment from friend and its sound to me that you going to have to prove good faith marrige since you been married for 5 month if your wife been call you name or keep call you when you go out that what woman dos its not abouse im male and i got my green card throu vawa its not what you thing its hard

so your are telling me that being blackmailed is not an abuse ....she holds that i 30 threat over my head to make me do whatever she wants to let me tell you what happened last month my sister came to USA from canada so she came to visit me at my house we are muslims and my sister wear hijab .. my wife did not even let her in the house you know why .. just because she doesn't like the way my sister was dressed up .. is it normal to humiliate somebody over their religion and culture .. this marriage is so over i can not be with this woman any more .. if my vawa approved or not if i get deported or not i am over with this thing.

Edited October 6, 2011 by danny khan

[Yahya54 4]

so your are telling me that being blackmailed is not an abuse ....she holds that i 30 threat over my head to make me do whatever she wants to let me tell you what happened last month my sister came to USA from canada so she came to visit me at my house we are muslims and my sister wear hijab .. my wife did not even let her in the house you know why .. just because she doesn't like the way my sister was dressed up .. is it normal to humiliate somebody over their religion and culture .. this marriage is so over i can not be with this woman any more .. if my vawa approved or not if i get deported or not i am over with this thing.

sorry to hear that i been thier and i know but with out hard evidenc such as police report OR self-petitioner's affidavit is perhaps one of the most important documents that YOU will submit with YOUR self-petition. The affidavit, written in the petition IN your own words, describes your "story" in detail, including information addressing each of the eligibility requirements. Often, due to the dynamics of the abusive relationship, the VAWA self-petitioner may be unable to obtain all documents necessary to support each of the requirements. In that case, the affidavit serves to fill in for some of the missing documentation, providing an explanation as to efforts made to obtain it, why the efforts were not successful, and why the applicant believes she satisfied the requirements for a particular element. For example, explain in your affidavit. The affidavit is also one of the first documents that adjudicators turn to when evaluating the self-petition in order to get an overview of the case.

Besides the affidavit, other documents which the VAWA self-petitioner may provide to satisfy each of the eligibility requirements include:

•Abuser's Status

o Birth Certificate

o Passport

o Green Card

o Marriage License Application

o Petitioner may also request that USCIS search its records to confirm the status of the abuser; however, ultimately, the burden of proving the abuser's status remain on the VAWA self-petitioner

•Good-faith marriage

o Wedding or honeymoon photographs

o Birth certificates of children

o Marriage license

o Joint tax returns, insurance policies, or bank accounts

o Cards, letters from abuser

o Letters or affidavits from friends or relatives with personal knowledge of the relationship

•Battery or extreme cruelty

o Orders of protection

o Police reports (note, however, that the self-petitioner need not have called police to be eligible for VAWA relief)

o Criminal court records, including complaints or arrest records

o Medical records

o Photographs of bruises, scars, or other injuries

o Statements from shelter workers and domestic violence advocates

o Letters from friends, family, or witnesses to the abuse

•Joint residence

o Apartment lease with both names included on it

o Joint bank account statements

o Joint tax returns

o Joint insurance policies

o Letters addressed to both self-petitioner and abuser

o Letter or affidavit from landlord

•Good moral character

o Police clearance letter

o If arrests and/or convictions, certified dispositions, as well as detailed explanation by self-petitioner of circumstances surround arrest and/or conviction

o Support letters from friends, family,

good luck

[VanessaTony 3,567]

so your are telling me that being blackmailed is not an abuse ....she holds that i 30 threat over my head to make me do whatever she wants to let me tell you what happened last month my sister came to USA from canada so she came to visit me at my house we are muslims and my sister wear hijab .. my wife did not even let her in the house you know why .. just because she doesn't like the way my sister was dressed up .. is it normal to humiliate somebody over their religion and culture .. this marriage is so over i can not be with this woman any more .. if my vawa approved or not if i get deported or not i am over with this thing.

Here's the thing, GO HOME. I just don't understand why you would choose to stay in an abusive relationship just to get a greencard. It just screams fraud to me. If you're in an abusive relationship, LEAVE. I completely agree with everyone else that she's been diagnosed with something that, without treatment will KILL her. How can you be so concerned with yourself? Why are you not working hard enough to get medical insurance for her? Why are you not working to earn money to pay for insurance? She's probably scared you're going to leave her now that things are tough and you're proving that you are. I feel bad for her. I would be scared out of my mind and probably in her mind she's torn between staying married to you to get you your GC, and also between divorcing you so she has health insurance again... I'm sorry but if I couldn't afford health insurance or find a way to get it and my husband needed it or he would DIE and divorce would get it for him I would divorce him. Plain and simple. You seem more concerned about your GC than her health.

[Golden Gate 530]

I want to hear her side of the story. One thing I know, Muslims do not spread their personal lives out to the public. If you have issues, why not go to see a counselor together? I don't see any sympathy or compassion from your side. Screaming abuse in such a short time during such an incredibly life-altering situation is heavily suspect.

My mother became very ill with a kidney disease when I was about 12. She also began to have mood swings, probably as a result of the toxins in her body at the time, and the lack of proper diagnosis. Once she was stabilized, her psyche improved.

You, of all people, should know that you should be there for your wife at such a vulnerable time. After only such a short time being here, you seem only concerned about yourself, when you are supposed to be a garment to protect your wife. She probably feels that lack of protection from you, as she is going through a traumatic stage in her life right now. It is not the time to be worrying about your friends, and I imagine her reaction to your sister might have something to do with your behavior, more than your sister.

[Chrism 4]

Sounds like shes having a hard time dealing with cancer.Getting diagnosed with a possible terminal illness can do that to anyone.Man up and take care of your wife.

[sachinky 465]

Here's the thing, GO HOME. I just don't understand why you would choose to stay in an abusive relationship just to get a greencard. It just screams fraud to me. If you're in an abusive relationship, LEAVE. I completely agree with everyone else that she's been diagnosed with something that, without treatment will KILL her. How can you be so concerned with yourself? Why are you not working hard enough to get medical insurance for her? Why are you not working to earn money to pay for insurance? She's probably scared you're going to leave her now that things are tough and you're proving that you are. I feel bad for her. I would be scared out of my mind and probably in her mind she's torn between staying married to you to get you your GC, and also between divorcing you so she has health insurance again... I'm sorry but if I couldn't afford health insurance or find a way to get it and my husband needed it or he would DIE and divorce would get it for him I would divorce him. Plain and simple. You seem more concerned about your GC than her health.

+1000

[Miss smarty pants 84]

Wow. Must really be true love....... Love of the green card, I mean.

[thelastpetitioner 218]

so your are telling me that being blackmailed is not an abuse ....she holds that i 30 threat over my head to make me do whatever she wants to let me tell you what happened last month my sister came to USA from canada so she came to visit me at my house we are muslims and my sister wear hijab .. my wife did not even let her in the house you know why .. just because she doesn't like the way my sister was dressed up .. is it normal to humiliate somebody over their religion and culture .. this marriage is so over i can not be with this woman any more .. if my vawa approved or not if i get deported or not i am over with this thing.

Let me put it this way.im not afraid of getting banned from posting comments so im gonna say it as it is.blackmailing is not abuse.there are thousands of men and women who go through real abuse on a daily basis.they get beaten up.they get degraded.they get call names you couldnt even imagine.

Your wife is dying,and to her ,her marriage is what making it worse.she has hit the rock bottom mentally and emotionally.if you cant suck it up and deal with it,i justyouget a divorce and go home.at least she will be able to get treatment

[Deputy Purple 1,294]

at least she will be able to get treatment

Really?

Uninsured with pre-existing condition. That's gonna cause her a problem getting new coverage.

She should look into Medicaid or it's equivalent when you live. With a chronic illiness and no insurance she should qualify.

Oh and FWIW, controlling someone with the threat of withholding immigration benefits is considered a form of mental abuse.

Edited October 10, 2011 by Bob 4 Anna