sending money to the family back in the phils

[The Nature Boy 4,224]

So after reading this whole thread several times... Hmm. Couple of questions

So 300.00 dollars a month is what a professional would make in the Philippines in a place like Cebu.

Any chance a person working in an office, doing credit collections would make that much every month?

I will say this. I am not yet married, but I surely would not mind helping if there is a need, but I will not be bullied into anything nor will I be the sole means of support. My fiancee lives with her extened family and they are architects. They have 2 cars and fairly nice home etc, but to be honest I have no clue about the culture and what constitutes comfortable vs needy. I have several close Piany friends here and they told me that if someone has two automobiles in the Philippines they are doing ok ?.

I will say this. They were lovely sweet very hospitable people , who treated me like I had been part of the family for 20 years..

[TeapotGirl 66]

So after reading this whole thread several times... Hmm. Couple of questions

So 300.00 dollars a month is what a professional would make in the Philippines in a place like Cebu.

Any chance a person working in an office, doing credit collections would make that much every month?

I will say this. I am not yet married, but I surely would not mind helping if there is a need, but I will not be bullied into anything nor will I be the sole means of support. My fiancee lives with her extened family and they are architects. They have 2 cars and fairly nice home etc, but to be honest I have no clue about the culture and what constitutes comfortable vs needy. I have several close Piany friends here and they told me that if someone has two automobiles in the Philippines they are doing ok ?.

I will say this. They were lovely sweet very hospitable people , who treated me like I had been part of the family for 20 years..

Yes $300 is what a manager of McDonalds earn in the Philippines. So salesladies and store clerk earn less than that.

Yes, if someone got a car and they got a job like a nurse, architect or a doctor, that means they are a little well off here

Yes, Filipinos are very accommodating. Just depend who are you going to meet. SO I suggest if you are going to marry a Filipino, choose some someone that's educated and from a family who's every member is hard working. If you don't then expect this kind of set up, especially if she's the eldest.

Edited October 8, 2011 by teapotgurl1983

[BJZags 17]

Yes, if someone got a car and they got a job like a nurse, architect or a doctor, that means they are a little well off here

In my American mentality, I would think you'd need to be doing "much" better than a nurse salary at say $300-$400 a month to own a car. A scan of the automobile advertisements in Manila the last time showed what looked like an average cost of a low-end new sport-utility or camery-type car to be going for between 12K-16K dollars. That's a lot of car to pay-off making under $5K year. I shake my head every time I'm in Manila and wonder how so many in the PHL can afford such cash-guzzlers.

[TeapotGirl 66]

In my American mentality, I would think you'd need to be doing "much" better than a nurse salary at say $300-$400 a month to own a car.

Nurses here just earn $300-400 but they have to put up with it to gain and experience and work abroad and get paid up to 20x. Same thing with the doctor, you need to have a specialization and has studied abroad to earn more. and Not much of an idea about architecture..What I mean in that statement is that if everybody in the household is professional like a nurse, architect, doctor and owns a car, they are a little well off. A lot of people here don't leave their house until they're married even if they're already 30-40 years old. Yes you are right that you should be making more than $300-400 to own a car, but you know this country shares everything in the household. If someones got a car, everybody uses it if they can, so it's like everyone's car in the household. But the fact you all children finished schooling, that means they're at least better than others. If someones in the family is BIG TIME like Manny Pacquaio, he's surely paying for a tuition fee of at least one relative.

.

[rheanick 42]

is this like a typical thing?! i do not know, hence me asking..

marrying a fillipino, and then you have some kind of "understood" obligation to care for extended family back on the islands?!

It depends on the filipina and the family. Some would expect, some won't.

is this like a typical thing?! i do not know, hence me asking..

marrying a fillipino, and then you have some kind of "understood" obligation to care for extended family back on the islands?!

It depends on the filipina and the family. Some would expect, some won't.

[SemperAye 5]

Sorry to hear this as our situation is similar. Telling you that you shouldn't have committed to sending on a regular basis will do no good since you have already done this. Fact is if you send even once, you will be put under the category of Americans who are all wealthy like in the movies since this is only what is known to most of the older generation there. Combine that with the fact that 60 year olds take 18 year olds away from there families to marry in the usa all to often, you can see why most Filipinos expect you married for money and are awaiting your payment! You can try to explain but they will never understand, so you're going to have to just say no and stop contacting them for a while. You really are stuck because they are not reliant on your income, maybe try to pay for them to move back? Good luck and god bless.

Edited March 27, 2013 by SemperAye

[Hank_ 9,174]

Posting is almost 2 years old.... not sure why you are replying.

Even us that are 60 don't run around looking for 18 y.o. Pinays to marry, and truly I don't know of any with that large of an age gap, + not sure what that has to do with anything, being 60 doesn't mean a person is floating in $$$.

I read your original post, answer is quite simple, you can't send what you don't have...

[davenjanet 22]

Even us that are 60 don't run around looking for 18 y.o. Pinays to marry, and truly I don't know of any with that large of an age gap, + not sure what that has to do with anything, being 60 doesn't mean a person is floating in $$$.

Who knew that when I turned 60 (just happened BTW) that I would be viewed as the reason for the ruination of an entire country

When I was a kid, my parents' generation viewed us as what was wrong with the world. Now that I am 60 I am not only viewed as what is wrong in the US, but apparently have ruined PI too. Who knew? And all I wanted was to bring my fiance home to spend my life with.

As to 18 year olds, my fiance ain't 18, though a few did express interest.

As to $$$, I can barely float on my a$$ and definitely am not floating on or in cash.

Needless to say, this was all said tongue in cheek but the notion that older Westerners are ruining the Philippines has become pretty popular on the forums and I'm cranky and annoyed by it

[Hank_ 9,174]

turning 60 is just a memory for me...

One thing I was not looking for was an 18 year old bride... yikes!!

[actob99 156]

Combine that with the fact that 60 year olds take 18 year olds away from there families to marry in the usa all to often, you can see why most Filipinos expect you married for money and are awaiting your payment!

This is relevent how? Are you putting down the filipino culture?

[The Nature Boy 4,224]

Ok, here is our problem. One that I'm sure is all too common! My wife has been in the USA for over three years and thankfully all is well with us here. Our problem is trying to help out the family back in the Philippines. My wife has three sisters and her two parents living back in Cebu. The Mom and Dad left their property in the province years ago over some family fights. They only had a nipa roofed house anyways. They then moved to the city with the oldest sister who had met a foreigner. The Mom, Dad and sisters stayed with the older sister and foreigner for a few years until recently more infighting and bickering led to her parents finding their own apartment in the city (with our financial support of course). Now it's become obvious to us that we can't afford to pay rent for them and help with all their living expenses. Some of them work, but they make next to nothing. Once we told them that we're having problems sending more money there is more arguing and fighting and we're being called cheap and selfish!!! This really hurts, especially when some of our hard earned money is going over there and there seems to be no appreciation. Of course they all think we're rich, and I wish we were. They have no idea the cost of living in the USA.

We are currently sending about 300 USD a month. This seems like a lot to us but it's not enough for them. Please give me some advice. Is this a fair amount, too much, too little??

I say send whatever you are comfortable sending. Totally up to you. I love my Pinay family dearly. I sent my Brother in law 42,000 pesos the other day to help start a small business he has been working on for some time..I know what the business is, he is telling the truth and I trust him, he is honest, I was not made to do or I was just asked if it was possible and if it was not, that is ok. I had the money and it did not impact my budget in any way.

In the past we have sent 100 here and 200 there, but never any pressure to do so. I can't imagine how much easier a few hundred here and there make life in the Philippines and how much happiness it must bring. I am blessed with more than I could ever need, so why not spread a little happiness.

Now having said all that, if my budget ever did not allow or people acted like it was my duty or tried to shame me into doing it, then it would stop. If they ever called me cheap or selfish, then I would have a hard time helping them much in the future.

[The Nature Boy 4,224]

Posting is almost 2 years old.... not sure why you are replying.

Even us that are 60 don't run around looking for 18 y.o. Pinays to marry, and truly I don't know of any with that large of an age gap, + not sure what that has to do with anything, being 60 doesn't mean a person is floating in $$.

I read your original post, answer is quite simple, you can't send what you don't have...

Darn I relied again even though I did almost two years ago. LOL A lot has changed in two years

[Hank_ 9,174]

Ya but its a good answer.

[LoveLife2 5]

I'm still new to this and expecting the questions of giving some support to her loved ones. I'm not against that but it must have constrainst and rules. First, I have family here in the USA that are my closest blood and also have very little and need housing and food so should we give the same to them? I guess I need to discuss this with her cause I really want to know why ones family needs more than the other. If we agree both are in need than it should be equal no matter what.

Anyone have thoughts on this?

[LoveLife2 5]

I'm still new to this and expecting the questions of giving some support to her loved ones. I'm not against that but it must have constrainst and rules. First, I have family here in the USA that are my closest blood and also have very little and need housing and food so should we give the same to them? I guess I need to discuss this with her cause I really want to know why ones family needs more than the other. If we agree both are in need than it should be equal no matter what.

Anyone have thoughts on this?

Hank, and The Nature Boy,

I didn't realize I was posting against such an old post. I'm very confident in my choices and know I live me life knowing it's a good choice. I was curious as to why US folks family seems to be left out of this conversation of needing support too.