I need help!! what to do with harrassment case

[Casprd 167]

Ning, you are a Platinum member, and I can't believe you would tell someone that the I-864 forces the petitioner to support them. You obviously don't know what you are talking about, and you are spreading falsehoods here. I will agree with you that I have read that in family court lawyers have used the I-864 to get support to win a case requiring the citizen to pay support to the immigrating spouse. But I have also read that it is a long shot, and usually it does not hold up in court. If she is desperate, and finds herself alone and without support she can try the meanse tested benefits, and then the government can deal with the petitioner.

Try to get your information correct, because as a Platinum member you shouldn't be leading people astray with your false information.

Whether it is a "long shot" is a moot point. The I-864 clearly states this and it has happened in the past. The public benefits reimbursement hasn't been pursued often either but that doesn't mean the petitioner is not contractually obligated for both these items. The information supplied by Ning is anything but false while your response definitely can lead people astray from options that are available to them.

[Boiler 46,138]

As a recent LPR she does not qualify for public benefits so a very moot point.

And if she can not work, well better to go home surely?

[dekedwin 52]

asiambeauty, I am very sorry that this has happened to you; hiding the cell phone, and then you coming homne and catching him with another woman. After all that both of you put into this relationship, the immigration; getting the papers taken care of; all the money spent, and the dreams and hopes for the future, it is sad that he can not be faithful and give you only his love. This is very hard for me to understand why people behave like that.

I hope you can get a job, and remove the conditions, and then find someone who will love you only and truly. Too bad he would not repent and work with you again, but maybe it might be difficult to trust a person who has done that to you. I am sorry, and I wish you better things and better times.

[Ning 619]

Ning, you are a Platinum member, and I can't believe you would tell someone that the I-864 forces the petitioner to support them. You obviously don't know what you are talking about, and you are spreading falsehoods here. I will agree with you that I have read that in family court lawyers have used the I-864 to get support to win a case requiring the citizen to pay support to the immigrating spouse. But I have also read that it is a long shot, and usually it does not hold up in court. If she is desperate, and finds herself alone and without support she can try the meanse tested benefits, and then the government can deal with the petitioner.

Try to get your information correct, because as a Platinum member you shouldn't be leading people astray with your false information.

Try to direct your own falsehoods in a direction that wont cause others to realise how little you actually know. I couldnt care less what you agree with. I am not here to live up to what you believe in as correct. Read on to see what others indicate about your own lack of knowledge. You are not in a position to lecture me.

What ever you read doesnt mean anything when it comes to her case. Who knows if you even understood what you read. Its you that has no idea of what you are talking about. Nothing you said indicates what you think she can do about her situation. You say you cant understand what others do. You are right there. Wishing & hoping isnt going to do her much good.

Read what Casprd has to say for example. This isnt the first time this has been discussed on V J.

[Adam&Noory 0]

wow!! Really it makes me angry to see people cheat on their love.

I don't know what i can say. But I'll pray for you! I am very sorry of what is going on in your life.

I know it's difficult to see your husband with another woman in front of your eyes. Just be strong!! that's all i can tell you!

God is with you!!

Hugs!!

Adam and Noory

[JohnandWendyB 21]

I wouldnt spend 5 minutes trying to work this out with him. The lies & the new bed mate is enough for me. This occurs right after you marry? Please.

I also disagree with any thought about how he helped bring you here. The idea should be to do something FOR you not To you. Bringing you here to do this to you probably wasnt what you had in mind when he brought the idea up or when you got on the plane.

Have you been harmed? Absolutly. Mental abuse can be much worse than being assaulted. Danger? You are in danger anytime you have to be put in this position.

I also wouldnt spend even one minute on the affect a restraining order would have on him. He decided to disrepect you & the marriage. The restraining order protects you from being charged with domestic violence which could have a huge affect on your future legal status in the USA. You have to try to protect yourself & create the image that you are trying to use lawful means to build a life here. I didnt say to take this lightly at all. Take it seriously & get it done. Even Nichole Simpson tried to protect herself. She didnt take it lightly but paid the ultimate price.

Threating him with taking action as the other member says just causes you to be in a difficult, dangerous position. Dont make threats. Do what needs to be done.

Forget trying to be nice. Or live with the fact he will have others in bed ect. If you allow that you have nothing to complain about. Dont be a victim.

What price should you pay for wanting what is only right. Dont give up your dignity as others suggest. You cant get it back & dont owe it to anyone.

It would not hurt to call a domestic violence agency in your area for assistance. Some may have access to immigration services related to this sort of thing. Some really horrible men think they can get a submissive wife from another country then bring them here and they will be at the spouse's mercy because of immigration. Try: http://www.thehotline.org/ or 1-800-799-7233.

[bigdog 376]

He cannot get your DC revoked, you can get support, good luck.

[Darnell 8,479]

Ya, Follow Post 10 - just for once

[dekedwin 52]

Ning, I am here to eat humble pie. I am very sorry for my post responding to your post because it is obvious that you know what the law is, and I responded as a result of other things that I read on visajourney that were evidently incorrect, and I misjudged you. You were right and I was wrong. I am sorry, and I need to do more reading and less posting unless I am more sure of what I am saying. Also I think it would have been more noble on my part if I had not disagreed with you on your input, but let other people more experienced than I am respond. I don't know as much as I should know to have responded to your post. I am very sorry. Please forgive me.

[Ning 619]

Ning, I am here to eat humble pie. I am very sorry for my post responding to your post because it is obvious that you know what the law is, and I responded as a result of other things that I read on visajourney that were evidently incorrect, and I misjudged you. You were right and I was wrong. I am sorry, and I need to do more reading and less posting unless I am more sure of what I am saying. Also I think it would have been more noble on my part if I had not disagreed with you on your input, but let other people more experienced than I am respond. I don't know as much as I should know to have responded to your post. I am very sorry. Please forgive me.

When you sit down to have some pie dont be suprised to find a piece with a few bites out of it. I have made some mistakes in the course of trying to help & be right.

Sometimes its difficult for me to express all aspects of a subject in short enough terms. Such as this 864 business. To me its up to the OP to seek more info as after she decides exactly what she is going to do. In my opinion she will have to divorce. I am sure she feels intimidated by the situation. Especially when it comes to how she would be supported. I understand for example the 864 is a contract between the USC & the U S govt. However it also represents his responcibility to support her & his will at the time of her arrival. I believe she could be represented in court by a lawyer that in the end would be paid for by the husband. That lawyer would present her case in manner that would result in a support agreement for some period of time. I think the 864 contract would be part of the case. This is all I was refering to in my post.

My husband has sat thru over 800 divorce cases. Many times when I try to help here I will ask him for help. He helps with info & we use this as a means for me to learn English.

When you spend enough time here on V J you will find a few members that have a lot of ability. Ahn map for example keeps it short & sweet. Jim Va Phong is very good in his message & ability to express. Kaythryn41 is simply amazing. Me? Like you I have a lot to learn.

What you have done here is more than most & certianly acceptable. Peace.

[asiambeauty 0]

I just wanna thank you guys for all the advices. Ive been so really stressed out and I need a break. Sorry I didnt mean for you guys to aruge just becaude of me. I feel guiltiness. I might wanna take a vacation for a lil bit. Back to china. I hope he really didnt messed up my life and and they wouldnt permit me to enter.

[Ning 619]

I just wanna thank you guys for all the advices. Ive been so really stressed out and I need a break. Sorry I didnt mean for you guys to aruge just becaude of me. I feel guiltiness. I might wanna take a vacation for a lil bit. Back to china. I hope he really didnt messed up my life and and they wouldnt permit me to enter.

People are trying to make sure you have the correct info.

You are going to do whatever you do. But before you do anything you should determine how you feel. To do that you need to know where you stand under the laws. Immigration, criminal & civil. Once you understand that you will be in a better position to make the right decisions.

His actions have caused you harm to be sure. But he didnt mess up your entier life unless you allow him to.

If you are talking about re entering the USA upon returning from China no one can stop you. The green card is vaild & yours. The only way he could affect your return would be to file a restraining order against you. This is why you must not do anything to let that happen. Do not get in a physical confrontation with him & do not threaten him in writing. If you do either he can get the order & you will be stopped at the POE.

[asiambeauty 0]

Im done with him. He can hurt me but not,cheat me and he knows that.this,was our plan last year to visit my parents in china. If he found out I,wanna visit back china, he said he will tell me on homeland and tell many stotirs to cancel my visa so they will not let me in the airport.