My story...

[kennym 275]

Dee Dee, You and Sam, seem to have a wonderful relationship, I wish you guys the best..

I can tell you, if my family ever did anything like that to my wife, I would have dis-owned them.. I am happy to hear the update from you and to hear that you mom-in-law is there for you guys as well..

Best wishes...

Kenny

Edited October 5, 2011 by kennym

[jameugiekaxavilon 25]

Oh Gosh, its a sad story and kinda scary. Hope everything will be okay for you and your husband. Stay safe!!

[DeeDee&Sam 68]

Thanks for explaining! Everything is more clear. Still not sure who is trying to stop you from moving to that house, though. Sounds like you both are on the same page, and I would try to avoid that grandmother. My dad's girlfriend is a bit wacko and I know we aren't going to be spending a great deal of time with her when my fiance comes. Good luck to you and wish you only the best!

sam has a family friend that had that house rented. it has 2 bedrooms kitchen basement bathroom and all that and its only 150$/month. well that guy's moving out in a week or 2 and it will be free to rent. we talked to him and told him we wanted it and if coud talk to the owner for us. now, when the other part of the family heard, they r trying to rent it for themselves (even if they dont freakin' need it) so we cant move in our own house, which is only becuse they r mean and selfish. we live 1 hour drive from his work place right now. and it costs a lot of money back and forth every day. that place is 5 minutes away from his job and they know it, they are just trying to give us hell

[kennym 275]

sam has a family friend that had that house rented. it has 2 bedrooms kitchen basement bathroom and all that and its only 150$/month. well that guy's moving out in a week or 2 and it will be free to rent. we talked to him and told him we wanted it and if coud talk to the owner for us. now, when the other part of the family heard, they r trying to rent it for themselves (even if they dont freakin' need it) so we cant move in our own house, which is only becuse they r mean and selfish. we live 1 hour drive from his work place right now. and it costs a lot of money back and forth every day. that place is 5 minutes away from his job and they know it, they are just trying to give us hell

Trying to stop short of giving your husband advise about how to manage his relationship with his family, but it really sounds like he needs to talk to them and find out whats behind this hostility and why they suddenly turned against him and you.. Who is the kingpin and the leader of all this? Is it only the grandmother? Are there others antogonizing the situation?

Then when he has all the information, he needs to round em all up and have a good stern heart to heart with his family and stress that all the efforts they putting out to attempt to destroy your marriage is all a huge waist of thier time.. AND, they can continue waisting thier time if it makes them happy, but it will not affect your love for each other... All it will do is drive a larger wedge between the family and you guys..

Make sure your husband lets his grandma (and the rest of them) know, he cant just standby and let his family continue to try and manipulate him like this.. there is nothing they can do to convince him to leave you..

Be stern with them,,,

Edited October 5, 2011 by kennym

[Golden Gate 530]

sam has a family friend that had that house rented. it has 2 bedrooms kitchen basement bathroom and all that and its only 150$/month. well that guy's moving out in a week or 2 and it will be free to rent. we talked to him and told him we wanted it and if coud talk to the owner for us. now, when the other part of the family heard, they r trying to rent it for themselves (even if they dont freakin' need it) so we cant move in our own house, which is only becuse they r mean and selfish. we live 1 hour drive from his work place right now. and it costs a lot of money back and forth every day. that place is 5 minutes away from his job and they know it, they are just trying to give us hell

Well, I hope the family friend is more reasonable and sees that you get it! I understand dealing with family that just wants to obstruct. We had that problem when we tried to get married in Morocco. These challenges will just make you stronger. You will prevail!

[A + M 29]

I hope everything will work out for you 2.

Good luck!

[Married2009 32]

i made this topic for people that were in similar situations. we're working our way through it step by step. our marriage is not in danger we're more loving and bonded

Good for the two of you! Best wishes to you both.

Edited October 5, 2011 by Married2009

[thelastpetitioner 218]

I don't get this whole story.you say you knew mother in law and you were good together and all that,but she didn't do anything to stop the evil grandmother from bothering you.

Another thing is your husband should have warned you about the well known abusive grand mother but he didn't.

Honestly I don't think you should count on anyone in that family. Your husband still has a relationship with the abusive part of his family and deals with them on a semi regular basis.

And a little advice,woman to woman? The little saying the Americans have "you don't know someone until you live with them" is very true

[DeeDee&Sam 68]

no my husband has no relationship to that part of the family anymore. he rejected them and he doesnt want to see them or talk to them ever again. a lot of lies come from that woman, her being the leader of all this. she told my sister in law that i had sex at 12 years old the other day (LOLLLLLLLLLL) when i never in my life talked to her about my private life. and it seems they managed to get the house from that guy so we're moving to a motel on saturday for few months probably. is hell to get a rent in the countryside

[Moomin 292]

One thing I cannot stand is the "this is how I do things. period." attitude that the grandma seems to be having, and gets away with it. Your husband did fine by deciding on his own to marry you. Marriage is between two people joining their lives. Not two people and a 3rd person lacking empathy or ability to butt out of your situation - they haven't been involved in the visa process with their signature so it's pointless for the grandma to even go there. I'm happy you and your husband are on the same page now and you have his support. That's the wonderful and strong bond between you which his grandma(or anybody else) won't be ruining.

Cheer up - it gets better even though you've been stuck in a tough situation. You're dealing with it in a more mature way than just accepting to be caught in a house daily given that attitude.

Best of wished to you both : )

[Rebecca Jo 1,962]

i dunno why someone posted the thing about me punching that girl in the face. i was a teen and it was a reflex, is not related to this.

A reflex is like when you close your eyes when you sneeze.

Not when you punch someone in the face.

[skiptex 225]

A reflex is like when you close your eyes when you sneeze.

Not when you punch someone in the face.

i have that same reflex when i deal with my coworkers

[DeeDee&Sam 68]

A reflex is like when you close your eyes when you sneeze.

Not when you punch someone in the face.

so u have a problem with it? one thing for sure is that i didnt react back. u dont know a thing about me as a person so how about u stick ur head in ur butt and shut the hell up cause im not taking s**t from people like you, and hell i know a lot of people your style, cause ive seen your crappy mouth in other topics before talking nosense to other people

@moomin: well, yeah your so right about that indeed. the thing is i told her and the rest of the family when we had that "talk" on the porch that i married him and not his family and she jumped at me saying smth like "oh dont come to me with s**t like that" almost knocked me off lol. imagine im about 100lbs and she's big as a house, ex cop. amd has a gun. not smart

[TBoneTX 46,167]

Way to stand up for yourself, Kiddo. Don't let the sidewinders sink their venomous fangs into you.

[kennym 275]

A reflex is like when you close your eyes when you sneeze.

Not when you punch someone in the face.

Rebecca Jo

at 12 years old, I punched a few people also as a kid, not sure what your point is... It's ridiculous to try to demonize someone for something they did as a kid and then try to play word games with them..

Can you clearly state your point and explain to the rest of us what you're trying to say..