Language differences and communication woes

[Aztec&Taino 144]

Another question: What do you call "greenbeans" in Spanish in your country? How about "beans"? This is a constant topic of coversation in my house. Also, what is the Spanish word for "porch" and "garage" in your countries?

[Mononoke28 135]

Another question: What do you call "greenbeans" in Spanish in your country? How about "beans"? This is a constant topic of coversation in my house. Also, what is the Spanish word for "porch" and "garage" in your countries?

These are the names we use in Colombia:

Green Beans: habichuelas

Porch: balcón

Garage: Garaje

Diana

Edited October 11, 2011 by Mononoke28

[TBoneTX 46,286]

These are the names we use in Colombia:

Green Beans: habichuelas

Porch: balcón

Garage: Garaje

Mrs. T-B. uses "garaje," too, si man. I shall ask her about the others.

---

Two pronunciation items: Mrs. T-B. saw a washateria and called it "wash-a-teh-REE-uh." I told her that it's "wash-a-TEE-ree-uh." We still joke about it.

On my part, I don't understand why almost every emporium in Spanish ends in "-REE-uh" except for far-MAH-cee-ah. Can someone explain, please? Are there other such words?

[Girl from Celebes 588]

Hello everyone!

I thought I would start a topic about a really important issue that ALL couples face -but particularly important to us- people in the Visa Journey. How do you manage language differences?

By language I do not only mean the actual set of words and sounds that construct and convey meaning (English, Spanish, French, etc.) but I also mean to include in this word the regional differences and idioms particular of a specific tongue, specially those languages that are spoken in different countries and regions. Have you had to learn your spouse's language, along with his or her particular and specific cultural myths -meaning the values, behaviors, and attitudes that are the social norms of a particular culture-?

For me, it has been an interesting journey. My husband and I are both native Spanish speakers. Therefore, you would think that we both speak the "same" language, right? Wrong! I have had to learn the Dominicanisms and he has had to learn the Mexicanisms appropriate to our regional Spanish. To me, it is interesting that we have both have to become "bilingual" (in a sense). We have had to learn the cultural myths, ideas, and idioms specific to our different native countries. Added to this mix has been the added complication of living in this country.

Can you share an anecdote of your journey as related to these language differences and adjustments?

I could share many instances, but my current favorite is my husband's adoption of the word "chingada," which is a word that we, Mexicans, use. He knows how to mandar a alguien a la chingada, which is the English equivalent to sending someone, well, far away. F* off? Maybe? This is a word which is not used in the the DR, but has learned to use by his close contact with Mexicans in our city and common friends. On the other hand, he has learned some English, too. He has learned the also complicated meaning of the F word. How much of a couple's communication depends on language and how much of it depends on the specific meanings and use of words particular to a specific culture and region?

Comment away!

I've learned English language as it's not my mother tongue and I'm come from non-English speaker country. I've dated some Americans before my fiance. So, basically I learnt speaking and writing by help from them. In general, English language one of some languages on earth that use for most things for example, movies, songs, books, or second language in schools.

So, overall, people would think that what appears on movies, song, etc, that normally people saying in regular days and acceptable to swearing or use profanity words. One time, I was talking to my then-boyfriend (now my fiance ) on Skype at work and suddenly someone using profanity. He told me that he doesn't like people using profanity. I thought maybe he was just being sensitive, but a few weeks later, I said something to my co-worker like," go to hell," and guess what happened? he was deeply mad and repeated that he doesn't like me use profanity words. Period.

He gave me some reasons why because he doesn't want me feed up some thoughts that using profanity is okay in basis day. He added, he doesn't care other people said or doing as long as his girlfriend talking in nice way. So we finally agreed that in all communication between us, we must use nice words, not calling names, or some other things that refer to profanity. I never use profanity before like F word, C word or whatever people call for it.. Just mild profanity like "damn" or "go to hell". But, I can't argue him as he's native speaker since born, I think he just try to give me some lesson how to talk in nice way. I never use them anymore.

Edited October 11, 2011 by Girl from Celebes

[visapetition 2]

In Ukrainian, chapa, chap (чап) means roughly small/baby steps. The derivatives are chapaty (to make baby steps) and chap-chap (sort of like come-come).

[StephanieM 60]

Another question: What do you call "greenbeans" in Spanish in your country? How about "beans"? This is a constant topic of coversation in my house. Also, what is the Spanish word for "porch" and "garage" in your countries?

Greens beans (peas) = guandules

beans = habichuelas

porch = galleria

garage = marquezina

Dominican spanish... gotta love it

[Nica_In_Love 98]

Another question: What do you call "greenbeans" in Spanish in your country? How about "beans"? This is a constant topic of coversation in my house. Also, what is the Spanish word for "porch" and "garage" in your countries?

In Nicaragua we say:

green beans = frijolitos verdes

beans = frijoles

porch = porche

garage = garaje

[Mononoke28 135]

Mrs. T-B. uses "garaje," too, si man. I shall ask her about the others.

---

Two pronunciation items: Mrs. T-B. saw a washateria and called it "wash-a-teh-REE-uh." I told her that it's "wash-a-TEE-ree-uh." We still joke about it.

On my part, I don't understand why almost every emporium in Spanish ends in "-REE-uh" except for far-MAH-cee-ah. Can someone explain, please? Are there other such words?

I guess it's the way it was first designed, I don't know.

I always make fun of appliances as most end in "dora": licuadora, lavadora, secadora, aspiradora, tostadora, asadora, etc. I once knew a woman whose name was Dora and I said to her "man, you must be tired at the end of the day with all the things you do around the house!" She didn't think it was funny.

Diana

[Aztec&Taino 144]

Greens beans (peas) = guandules

beans = habichuelas

porch = galleria

garage = marquezina

Dominican spanish... gotta love it

We still "fight" about galeria and marquesina. Porche y garaje! I say!

In Ukrainian, chapa, chap (чап) means roughly small/baby steps. The derivatives are chapaty (to make baby steps) and chap-chap (sort of like come-come).

Interesting!

[TBoneTX 46,286]

Another question: What do you call "greenbeans" in Spanish in your country? How about "beans"? This is a constant topic of coversation in my house. Also, what is the Spanish word for "porch" and "garage" in your countries?

OK -- Mrs. T-B. has been consulted:

green beans = vainitas

beans = frijoles

garage = garaje

porch = "we don't have... we don't think about... we don't have a word for it"

wedgie = calzoncillo chino (exchanged at the conclusion of the questioning)

Has anyone else heard "vainitas"? Would you understand it if you heard it, or would you need to ask or figure it out from the context?

[TBoneTX 46,286]

I guess it's the way it was first designed, I don't know.

I need to consult a linguist, but none of the university professors locally will return my e-mails. Some people have their noses so high in the air that if they walked outside in the rain, they'd drown, glub man.

I always make fun of appliances as most end in "dora": licuadora, lavadora, secadora, aspiradora, tostadora, asadora, etc. I once knew a woman whose name was Dora and I said to her "man, you must be tired at the end of the day with all the things you do around the house!" She didn't think it was funny.

Even with my anemic grasp of the vocabulary, I think that this is quite funny and clever, si man!

---

I note also that most words in Spanish have more syllables than do their English counterparts. I'd grow old enough to qualify for Social Security if I had to say "ventilador" every time I talked about a "fan"! However, I note that the words in Spanish that have fewer syllables than their English counterparts are typically fruits or other comestibles, see man:

Pineapple (3 syllables) vs. pina (2 syllables)

Strawberry vs. fresa

Watermelon vs. sandia (and how exactly did "sandia" evolve as a word for watermelon, huh man)?

Motorcycle vs. moto (not usually edible, obviously)

I began keeping a list of such words, and there were quite a few on it, but of course I can't find it, nertz man.

---

Also, dumb question: in VJ messages, how does one create the "n" with the tilde over it if one's gringo keyboard doesn't naturally have it, huh man?

[yachachiq12 43]

Has anyone else heard "vainitas"? Would you understand it if you heard it, or would you need to ask or figure it out from the context?

"Vainitas" is the term used in Peru too. I don't think it refers to anything else.

Also, dumb question: in VJ messages, how does one create the "n" with the tilde over it if one's gringo keyboard doesn't naturally have it, huh man?

Do you know how to change your keyboard? If you have Windows, open Control Panel. Under Clock, Language, etc. choose Change keyboards. You can add in all the languages you want your keyboard to be able to change to. on the bottom of the Desktop, there's "EN." Click and change to "ES." Now, close your eyes and visualize the computer keyboards at the street internets in Ecuador... Where's the ñ? Okay, if you cannot recall, you can use the colon-semicolon key. Enjoy!

[monyfer 27]

This is so interesting! My FI is Mexican and I learned Spanish in Mexico. I love to learn the regional differences in words. For Mexican Spanish:

Greenbeans - Ejotes

Beans - Frijoles

Garage - Cochera

Porch - Terraza

[Nica_In_Love 98]

I note also that most words in Spanish have more syllables than do their English counterparts. I'd grow old enough to qualify for Social Security if I had to say "ventilador" every time I talked about a "fan"!

In Nicaragua we say abanico.

Motorcycle vs. moto (not usually edible, obviously)

Well, it's actually motocicleta we usually just refer to as moto, lol.

Also, dumb question: in VJ messages, how does one create the "n" with the tilde over it if one's gringo keyboard doesn't naturally have it, huh man?

If you have Windows, in the bottom right side of your taskbar you should be able to see "EN". If you click on it, it should show you the option to choose the Spanish language. Once you select it, just hit ";" on your keyboard and you'll get the "ñ".

[rlogan 2,036]

By far the most important thing for us is attitude. I see so much extreme laziness, pride, and stupidity about communication, and when you throw language on top of it then you have a disaster.

Basic communication courtesy requires speaking clearly, loudly, and slowly enough to be heard. It requires you look at the listener instead of demonstrating how much more important looking at yourself in the mirror is. Basic communication requires repeating back what was said. It requires answering in complete sentences, with zero ambiguity.

I hated asking a question like "do you want this, or do you want that" and getting "yes" as the answer instead of "I want that." How lazy and disrespectful of other people can you possibly be in refusing to speak two whole words to clarify exactly what you mean?

How much stupid pride or laziness can you have by not asking what a word in a sentence means? How can you give answers to questions when you know that you do not even know what is being asked? It took me a while to figure out many filipinas say "yes" to be agreeable instead of understanding what they were saying yes to. This habit almost got us killed while teaching her to drive.

She would say she understood for example what "blind spot" means. You could explain it and she would say "yes". But until she can explain it back to you herself in her own words - do NOT take "yes" as an answer. She thought "slow down" meant taking your foot off the gas pedal, not decreasing your speed. So I would say it louder and louder until I was screaming, and then pulling the parking brake to save ourselves from crashing.

Afterwards, getting her to set aside the stubborn pride insisting she had "slowed down", to take on the right attitude to focus on what the words mean - this is the thing that we really have to work on: put down your attitude and get your mind right about communicating. Do not get angry, do not make this stressful with stubborn-ness and discourtesy by looking away and sending all that body language saying "bad attitude". This is the most important thing to work on in our relationship: communication.

At a stop sign, she did not stop. A cement truck was on the highway, and it was certain death. " Stop. Stop! Stop!!!! STOP!!!! Screaming it. We were almost killed and it could have been prevented by her repeating back to me "stop" the first time I said it. We never did stop because I had no parking brake to grab, so I turned the steering wheel to veer away from the cement truck.

When you repeat back what is being said, it is the acknowledgement you are listening. You have to be listening to repeat it back. I also learned to do a "communications check": on the way down our drive, which is over 1/4 mile, I say "stop". The only reason for stopping is because I said it. If she can do it, her mind is right. If she takes on a prideful attitude that she's not going to stop until she's been convinced it is the right thing to do - there's no point in leaving because she has a bad attitude.

Communication has to be treated like professional work. When you are at work, you make sure you understand the company's instructions. You don't stare off and mumble to the boss, your peers or the people under you that have to get the job done. You aren't watching TV at work. You speak in complete sentences, and it is loud enough & clear enough for everyone to hear.

People who are lazy about communication are showing they don't respect you enough to follow some elementary rules. If you can see someone is having trouble with the pronunciation of a word, why aren't you SPELLING it for them? Are you really that stupid to have not learned such a simple thing? If I think my wife has not heard a word before - I spell it. She spells it back. I ask her if she understands it. Use it in an example. This is the way you would do it if it were a language class.

You have to do triage with them in terms of grammar, syntax, colloquialisms and all - you can't fix everything at once. But the most important thing is to adjust your attitude and agree that both of you are going to work hard communicating clearly: to make the effort, both on the same team. To be cheerful about it, turning off the tv and setting down what you are doing, looking them in the eyes and spelling every letter of the word.